N-n-no c-comment. . .

Not bad. No glaring issues as far as grammar or spelling. Off to a good start.

Tejas Lone Star, thanks :)

Cute! I'm interested in reading further!

I'll work on the next chapter as much as I can. Each chapter will be around 2k words unless I just pour my heart out on it :)

mmm, it's ok.
It's coherent and flowing. Though i do think Caramel is musing a little too much.
Also "Cara" sounds odd, not that i'm knocking it, i just said "cara" outloud and it sounds weird. The end of his name "Mel" sounds more like a nickname, but that's just my thoughts lol.
Good luck with the rest =p

4176814 Thanks. In this series, at least at first, Caramel tends to be more introspective, and it's a way of revealing his personality and traits and so on without openly showing them to other characters. Just wait, it works together later in the story.

And generally, I see Cara and Mel as general nicknames for the pony, but I tend to lean towards Cara in general. Mel just doesn't.... fit in my mind as well.

4177546
Yeah it's all up to interpretation. I write 'mel' a different way so i guess i'm just used to that.
Good luck once again