Matthew was a normal human at one point, nothing special about him whatsoever. Until one day, he was pushed to the edge, and power rushed through his mind to his hand. Now he needs to learn to control it, master it. Hopefully, he's not too late.
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Wow, just reading the synopsis cut my finger. That’s some serious edge.
10848190
Would you consider that a bad thing? Like I should change it? I really want to make this a good and interesting story.
I would say it's not so much edge, as it is generic. The description doesn't say very much about Matt as a person and individual; it's more describing how cool he and things he has, not who he is. The "drug user" feels like something better shown in the story; he likely has health issues or marks from needles, for example. And about 80% of it could be summarized as "human with issues gets sent to horseland."
Not necessarily bad or wrong, mind you, and I understand it's only your second story, so I'm not trying to bash. It could just use some spring cleaning, if you catch my drift.
10848230
And for the record, making a good story is really subjective. Ultimately, the only parameter you have for enjoyment is yourself; if you like what you've written, then that's really it. Others can criticize with valid points and/or offer enthusiasm themselves, but that's more a side-effect than the goal. If you like the description, then keep it. If you feel it needs work, change it.
10848230
Overt edginess fell out of favor even before FiM was a thing. That description looks like something from as late as the late 2000s.
10848323
Alright, description aside why is the story getting mass downvoted? It's not even that bad of a story so far. I'm willing to admit that there's a lot to be desired, but it's not like the downvotes are warranted right now.
10848292
Thank you for the constructive criticism! I've changed the description to something less edgy, I hope it's to your liking. But now I'm just confused. Might just be a personal thing, but I don't understand why the story's getting disliked as badly. Like you said, it's not that bad.
About the lack of details though, I opted out of giving full on descriptions about what characters look like. I personally thought it was just better to have the somewhat needless detail be cut out.
10848349
How do you know if it’s not that bad?
10848394
I mean, the only thing I've read that's been negative about it is the description, which I've changed, and I have heard very little else.
If you have some critiques, I'd love to hear them.
10848407
My recommendation? Be as respectful as possible towards FiM’s tone and message in your works while never having a character be an edgy dick for it’s own sake.
10848626
*Is sniffing this Mary Sues fic* wow even I read the description, my "Mary Sues" sense is tingling a lot. Especially the word "awesome" -_-
After reading 2 chapters ... Don't know what to say
10850072
Can't tell if that's a bad thing or not. Is it bad?
10850086
I can't tell because these 2 chaps are normal and I can't judge by these two chapters. Need more chapters to see if he is edgy like your description or not, (Oh wait, it bad in general not the content)
10848349
It happens sometimes. If you look at the like/dislike ratio now, it's much better. I wouldn't get too worked up about it. Sometimes new stories have a wild fluctuation toward likes or dislikes, and can sometimes take a bit for them to stabilize. From what I've read so far, this story is pretty good. Yeah, it's a bit edgy, but I don't mind that so much as long as the main character has a reason to be that way. Even the whole "Mary Sue" thing is a bit of an elusive concept, but usually refers to a "perfect" character. From what I've seen so far, your main character is far from perfect, though he's definitely overpowered, but I don't see that as a bad thing (I mean, One Punch Man is pretty darn interesting to me.) I wouldn't give up on this just because a few people don't like it. Keep at it, and keep improving it.
Just wanted to say I really liked this moment; it felt real to me. Spike throwing proper etiquette for Celestia out the window over his worry for Twilight. Most ponies treat Celestia with reverence; I don’t think he has spent nearly as much time around the princess as other ponies, yet he was down-to-earth with her like she’s an old friend, concerned about their other friend.