Extra Equestrial Mayhem

by kudzuhaiku

Chapter 10

“What?” Said Derpy, looking slightly confused.

“You show an amazing ability for unconditional positive regard.” Buttermilk repeated.

Derpy sat there and continued to look very confused, her eyes wandering in different directions, her ears doing much the same.

“What Buttermilk is saying is that you have an extraordinary gift that allows you to love ponies or pony like creatures no matter what.” Rhubarb explained. “Which is why we’ve brought you here and you were given the job offer. The foals love you, you love them back, and let’s face it, we need to even the odds.”

Derpy nodded, understanding. She looked thoughtful. She looked around the room, trying to focus, a look of intense concentration upon her face, her mouth settling into a scrunched scowl. “This room is really boring. All dull grey concrete. No wonder those foals misbehaved. I would too.”

“Fascinating.” Doctor Broadneck said. “An actual mother’s opinion. Tell us, Mrs. Hooves, what colour would you paint the walls?”

“A sunny yellow. Maybe with soft orange curtains.” Derpy answered slowly. “And maybe little bunny rabbits and woodland creatures painted on the wall.” She added.

The doctor’s pen scratched furiously. He stopped. “That’s going to cost money. Actual resources. Luna is going to be most displeased.” His pen scratching resumed for a moment, and then paused again. “Oh, the directors are not going to like the use of pastels or non scientific colours.”

“What is a scientific colour?” Derpy asked, not sure if she wanted to know.

“Well, there is concrete grey, institutional green, bile yellow, and faux wood print vinyl wall coverings.” The doctor answered. “Oh, and the fine patina of time, which is cost effective and free.”

“Where are the foals?” Derpy asked, looking around.

“Oh, we fed them some s’mores and they had a nap.” The doctor answered, smiling.

“How come there are no toys?” Derpy asked, feeling very uncomfortable.

“Toys?” Doctor Broadneck repeated in the form of a question.

“Toys. Foals need toys. I didn’t see any in the nursery. And none here either.”

“Foals need toys?” The doctor said in alarmed surprise.

Derpy Hooves scowled. She was clearly dealing with an idiot. She scolded herself, just a little, for scowling. You had to be careful when dealing with the simple minded, she reminded herself. “What do they play with?”

“Oh.” Doctor Broadneck said. “Rhubarb and Buttermilk usually. Interactive and educational!”

Derpy sighed, trying to reign in her temper. She was going to be working with morons.

Comments

[xaldinlance]

Somebody needs wing beatings

[DragonMaus]

I think this chapter gave me whiplash.