The cold night air was unforgiving on the ponies as they gathered on the ground, scattered. The only noise breaking the silence was Rainbow’s constant groaning and wincing, taking short breaths as the blood trickled down from under her left wing. Rainbow laid on her side on a thick piece of fabric laid down by Rarity, ensuring the cold ground does not reach Rainbow’s body.
Fluttershy sat beside Rainbow, her hooves trembling as she opened her pouch and took out a long piece of white bandage with her mouth. Her eyes welled up with tears when her eyes took in Rainbow’s condition. Rainbow’s signature bright blue coat had lost its color, it had become a much darker shade of blue, probably from all the days of travelling. The upper half of both of her wings had been scorched an almost charred black, forced to remain unfolded as attempting to fold them brought unbearable pain. Underneath Rainbow’s left wing was a huge wound, blood seeping forth from it, flowing down on to the purple fabric beneath. Her beautiful 6 colored mane and tail was no longer striking. Slowly the colors seem to turn greyer with each passing minute, seeping away from Rainbows fur.
“N-now this… this will hurt for just a moment…” Fluttershy reassured Rainbow, speaking through the white bandage in her mouth. Quickly she pressed the bandage on to Rainbow’s under-wing wound, a loud scream echoed through the night sky, startling Fluttershy. Fluttershy shut her eyes as tears started to well up in them, her ears falling close as the bandage started to dye a sickening dark red.
Beside her, Rarity sat against a tree, her white coat tainted with various bloodstains. She was unsure which bloodstain belonged to hers but she didn’t care. Her eyes shut tight as Rainbow released the bloodcurdling scream. She felt absolutely dreadful, her purple mane was messy and her tail unkempt. She couldn’t bear to open her eyes, seeing her friends hurt made it more painful to watch then when Sweetie Belle ruined her favorite dress. The thought of Sweetie Belle, alone in the boutique every night as her parents were out on holiday like they had been for the past few months, frightened her to the core. What if robbers broke in? What if she was kidnapped? Rarity opened her eyes once more, glancing at the pink pony slightly to her right, getting treated by Applejack.
“Hold still okay sugercube?” Applejack whispered to Pinkie Pie, her pink mane and tail had lost its puffiness, her eyes closed shut as Applejack brought a white cloth to her rear. The area around her tail had been scorched, burnt flesh and blood was easy to identify from the rest of her pink coat. Pinkie Pie winced a little as Applejack applied to cloth over the wound. “You’ll start to feel might better when the medicine starts workin. Now don’t ya be moving an inch until I say you can.”
“Thanks Applejack. I didn’t think being burnt would hurt so terribly-bebbily much!” A smile appeared on Pinkie’s face, shocking Applejack.
“Pinkie, how can ya be smiling at a time like this?” Applejack asked.
“Well, duhhh, everypony else is being mopey so I figured ‘Hey! Its already happened, so why don’t I smile and cheer everypony up!?’” Pinkie joyfully said, her hooves kicking around. “Besides, Twilight’s been the mopiess of us all…” Pinkie used her hoof to point to Twilight, who was lying on the ground, tears in her eyes. Twilight had small scorch marks all over her coat but nothing major, a little of her tail was also scorched off but that wasn’t what bothered her. Applejack slowly approached the purple mare.
“Heya Twi, you doing okay?” Applejack asked, concerned.
“No.” Twilight sobbed before continuing. “I never wanted any of you to end up like this, this was my task. I’m responsible.” Twilight closed her eyes as she spoke, tears flowing down her face.
Applejack rested her hoof on the sobbing mare’s back. “Now Twi, when we came with you we all knew the risks, ain’t no way should you feel sad about what has happened. We’all will get through this together Twilight…”
Twilight turned around to look at Applejack, the brown pony had a large cut along the right side of her face, dried blood covered the wound. Seeing this only tore another part of Twilight’s heart away. “AJ… your face.”
“Huh?” Applejack brought her hoof up and felt the dried blood. “Oh that? Its nothing Twi, it’ll heal back.”
“It’s…It’s not nothing! Applejack…” Twilight scanned her eyes over to the other ponies in front of her. Fluttershy tending to the heavily wounded Rainbow Dash, Rarity resting against a tree, napping and Pinkie Pie lying on the ground next to Rarity, humming her own little tune.
Fluttershy started to wrap Rainbow’s wing, with each round of tape wrapped around her wing, Rainbow would yell, louder each time. It started to break away at the already fragile Fluttershy, Rainbow was the bravest of them all, to see her defeated and in pain, the same pain she was causing to her best friend, it chipped away at Fluttershy’s heart.
“It… it hurts…” Rainbow muttered out, her eyes closed shut, small traces of blood dripping from her mouth. “It hurts so much. Just… just let me go… I can’t take this anymore.” Fluttershy finally broke at these words, releasing the bandage that was clutched in her mouth, her breath started to become shallow, tears streamed down her face like a waterfall. She went into a lying position, covered her ears with her hooves.
“I-I don’t want to do this anymore…I don’t want to hurt my friends… Please… Someone make this stop…” Fluttershy dug her face into the ground, clutching her ears tight. Rarity immediately rushed over, finishing up the healing job started by Fluttershy, however, Rainbow’s mane and tail was still losing its color, the indigo color on her tail and mane had almost vanished, the other colors were soon to follow.
“I…” Twilight whispered to herself. “We’re going home.” Twilight stood up immediately, leaving Applejack in shock, rooted to the ground.
“Come again, Twi? I thought I heard you say that you give up?” Applejack asked again, confirming her fears.
“That’s what I said. Look at us AJ, look at all of us. We’re tired, injured and one of us could very well die if we don’t get out of here.” Twilight lifted her bags onto her back.
“Twilight, you never give up!” Applejack shouted, hoping to coax Twilight out of this.
“Well, now I'm going to.” Twilight said immediately, her tone conveying how serious she was.
“Twilight, you mean to tell me we went through all of that just for you to walk out on us?” Applejack tried to look Twilight in the eye but she wouldn’t do the same.
“If we proceed any futher…” Twilight’s eyes started to tear again “…I… I just can’t see you guys like this.”
“Twilight, darling. When we said we were with you to the very end, we meant it.” Rarity spoke from beside Rainbow.
“Yup! And we aren’t going anywhere!” Pinkie yelled with a smile on her face.
“I never expected anything less from you guys, I know you guys will stick with me till the very end, that’s why I’m calling it now.” Fluttershy looked back up to see Twilight’s fierce expression. Twilight threw gazes at everypony’s eye. “This is the end.”
Don't sell yourself short. You are a better writer than most on this site. Are there mistakes and areas to improve? Yes. This prologue, however, is tense and cinematic. I liked it. I want to know what happens next.
dang pretty awsome hopefully we can find out next chapter what happened to them and what they were fighting.
its really a good story please continue on it if you can.
Man, that was pretty great. I enjoy sad stories, and this looks like one of them. So far it's proven that this might end up being something great. keep it up!
got me hooked, can't wait for the next part because this sounds very intense.
375699 this
The title for this story is from a movie during the vietnam war, where a group of U.S. soldiers rape a vietnamese girl.
375836 That I uh.... I didn't know....
Thanks for all the positive comments guys, really means a lot to me :)
376936 Shocking? Yes, but if you like the title, go with it. I digress, this is actually good for someone new to fanfic. Although you could tell us as to why are they in this scenario.
I do hope you write more.
I will :) Thanks to you all I'm more than happy to continue writing this. + the idea still won't leave my head ><
great story so far (i know this is th eprolog) but in the atual story do make this alot longer per chapter (perahps in the tenthousand word range(well the story could do that grante di have trouble getting 1000 words per chapter) not realy but make it a couple thousan dplease an dat leqast 6 chapters long i dont want a talented author throwing in the towel to early in a story with great potinal so keep up the good work (srry if seem like a jerk im still sad about your other story :P )
typos typos everywhere
YES!!! You didn't use lines like the purple maned pony again!!!!
If you don't remember me that lines gona sound fucked up to you... But anyways good job! Next chapter