"I can't believe he would do that!" Rarity stomped angrily towards the one person who could find him, Twilight. "How utterly rude! I'm pouring my heart out in public and that- that- euurgh!" Rarity let out an angry groan. "The nerve of him, the absolute nerve!"
Rarity's tail flicked angrily as she spotted the library and charged over, knocking a pony out of the way as she ran. "Hey, watch it!" they yelled, dusting off their dirtied body.
Rarity snapped around with a wild look in her eyes. "Not in the mood!" Rarity screamed as she turned back to her target. She bolted towards the library door and slammed her flank into it. The door remained closed as Rarity grew more enraged. "Open this door this instant! Twilight!?" Rarity ran around and over to a window. She spotted the human talking to Twilight, screaming even, but was unable to hear what was being said.
Rarity paced around as she contemplated kicking the door down. But before her rage could get the better of her she decided to try a more basic approach. In moments she flared up her horn and tried to unlock the door from the inside. After a few attempts she managed to unlock the door. She took a moment, collected herself, and kicked the door open. "You!" she screamed as the occupants recoiled away from the door.
Rarity bowled over Twilight and started poking the human in the chest a few times. "Scoundrel, fool, ass, plebeian!" she poked and prodded the human until he slammed into a bookcase, causing a large tome to come down on his head.
A series of high pitched beeps rang out as the books settled on the ground. ".-- .... .- - / - .... . / ..-. ..- -.-. -.-!?" The beeps were frantic, and Rarity was barely able to differentiate them from one another. "--. --- -.. / -.. .- -- -.!" the human pushed Rarity away and started beeping wildly. "..-. ..- -.-. -.- .. -. --. / ..-. ..- -.-. -.- . .-. / ..-. ..- -.-. -.- / ..-. ..- -.-. -.- .. - -.--!!!" he stomped around as he beeped, making not only Rarity, but the nearly KO'd Twilight jump back in surprise.
"Rarity, what the hay!?" Twilight asked as she pulled her away from the livid human. "Why did you do that?!"
Rarity watched as the human continued to have his tantrum. "He left me Twilight, without even a goodbye! Just something about a shower.... And after I- I...um...Darling, may I?" Rarity leaned into Twilight's ear and spoke softly.
Twilight grew a bit red as her eyes popped wide open. "Rarity! That's so--"
"Darling please...a lady has needs you know." Rarity answered with a steely demeanor.
Twilight tried to rid herself of the burning sensation in her face and stepped back, ears flicking against her head as her body tried to rid itself of Rarity's words. "S-still.... And Rarity, did he tell you he couldn't understand you?"
Rarity perked up. "I'm sorry?"
Twilight levitated the human's earpiece over and showed it to her. "He said Rainbow Dash broke it."
Rarity grew slightly pink as she realized how vastly she had over reacted. "Oh dear...so the whole time he- oh my...." she peered nervously to the human as he finished up his angry beeping. "Well, what's wrong with him now?"
"..-. ..- -.-. -.- / -.-- --- ..-!" the human beeped at Rarity as he charged over. "... . .-. .. --- ..- ... .-.. -.-- --..-- / - .... . / .... . .-.. .-..?!"
Twilight ground the tip of her hoof into the floor. "That was kind of my fault." she grew bashful as Rarity stared her dead on. "I thought I got the spell right but--"
"... .... . / ..-. ..- -.-. -.- . -.. / .. - / ..- .--.!" the human stomped between his beeps.
Rarity looked nervously between the two. Twilight lowered her head and stared up at the human. "Sorry...I thought I could fix you."
The human's expression grew dark for a moment, quickly fading to a soft gaze as his posture relaxed. ".. - .----. ... / .... .- .-. -.. / - --- / -... . / -- .- -.. / .- - / -.-- --- ..-" he reached down and gave Twilight a quick hug.
Rarity let out a soft sigh as things calmed down. "So you can understand me now?"
"-.-- . .- ...." the human beeped slowly.
The ponies looked around before staring at each other. "What does that mean?"
Twilight peered backwards, lost in thought. "I don't know...he's been beeping since I cast the spell."
Rarity pursed her lips and took a step towards the human. "Well...since I asked this all before.... I...um...well first off it was very kind of you to tell those ponies off."
".- -.-. - ..- .- .-.. .-.. -.-- / .. / .-- .- ... / .--- ..- ... - / . -. .-. .- --. . -.. --..-- / -... ..- - / --. --- / --- -." human beeped lazily.
Rarity nodded lazily. "Alright...so...would you...care to spend the night, with me?"
Twilight flicked her ears. "That's not what you--"
"Darling, please...the moment's passed, this calls for a bit of reservation."
Twilight rolled her eyes and started walking away. "Whatever, I'm gonna try and figure this out." she walked off, levitating a few books with her as she left.
"Hey Twilight what's--" Spike stopped dead as he spotted Rarity. "Uh, Rarity-" he lazily leaned against a bookshelf. "-how ya doing?"
Human stared at the tiny dragon striking a pose. ".... .- --..-- / .... . / .-- .- -. - ... / - --- / ..-. ..- -.-. -.- / -.-- --- ..- / .-. . .- .-.. .-.. -.-- / -... .- -.." beeping with a smile as he pointed at Spike.
Rarity nodded. "Spike dear can this wait, and yes human, beep beep beep. Now please, a moment alone?"
Spike slumped forward and fell onto his face and started squirming away. "I'll just go...help clean up."
Human stared as the purple dragon sulked off. "-.-- --- ..- / . ...- . .-. / - .... .. -. -.- / .- -... --- ..- - / .--- ..- ... - / --. .. ...- .. -. --. / .... .. -- / .- / .... --- .-. -. / .--- --- -...?"
"Darling please, I can't understand a word you're saying. You can still nod, so...an answer?" Rarity asked with a wide gritted smile, pleading for his approval.
"- .... .. ... / .. ... / ..-. --- .-. / ... . -..- / .. ... -. .----. - / .. -?" human asked as he crossed his arms. "-... . -.-. .- ..- ... . --..-- / .. / -.- .. -. -.. / --- ..-. / .... .- ...- . / .- / - .... .. -. --. / .-- .. - .... / -.. .- ... ...."
Rarity let out a long huff. "Please dear a simple yes or no would be lovely."
Human tried to look away. "..- .... --..-- / --- -.- .- -.--" he shook his head briskly from left to right.
Rarity felt like she'd just had her horn ripped off as he repeated the gesture. "But darling I thought--" she bit back tears as her over dramatic nature forced its way to the surface once more. She let out a long wail as human stepped back.
".... --- .-- / -.. .. -.. / -.-- --- ..- / - .... .. -. -.- / .. / -... .-. --- -.- . / - .... .- - / ... - ..- .--. .. -.. / - .... .. -. --. / .. -. / - .... . / ..-. .. .-. ... - / .--. .-.. .- -.-. .?" human rubbed the back of his neck. "... .... . .----. ... / .-. . .- .-.. .-.. -.-- / .-. --- ..- --. ...."
"Stop, just stop!" Rarity cried as she tried to walk out the door. "No words, no tears Rarity...."
Human just stood back with a concerned expression on his face. "... .... --- ..- .-.. -.. / .. / -.-. .- .-.. .-.. / ... --- -- . --- -. .?"
Before she could muster the words she lost her composure, crying like a diva and running out the door.
"I've got it!" Twilight ran back into the main room. "Uh- where's Rarity?"
"Human made her run away!" Spike screamed into Twilight's ear, making her shoot off prematurely and send a bolt of pure magic bouncing around the room.
Taking the hit, Twilight flopped onto the floor as the magic pulsed through her body. Human and Spike ran over and helped her up. ".... --- .-.. -.-- / ... .... .. - --..-- / .- .-. . / -.-- --- ..- / --- -.- .- -.--!?"
Twilight understood his words and beamed happily. "Da! Ya znal, chto mogu eto sdelat'!" she stopped as she froze as she finished speaking. "Chto ya tol'ko chto skazal?"
Human deadpanned and sat on a nearby table. "-.-- --- ..- .----. .-. . / - . .-. .-. .. -... .-.. . / .- - / - .... .. ...!"
Spike looked between the two and went to cut in. "Jullie klinken dom!" his laugh trailing off as he realized his voice was no longer his own.
Twilight stared at Spike as he continued to panic. "Ya mogu ponyat' eto , prosto zhdat'!" she ran off, pulling even more books from the shelves. Spike, grabbing his tongue, quickly ran after her.
Human lingered for a bit before walking out and towards the bar. Times like this you just need to drink the time away.
*GASP*! The nerve!
4116987
*Cough*
4116991
I didn't even translate it. So, yeah...
Damn. You actually put in the effort to do morse code. Major props to you good sir
I approve greatly
You really made me work to read this chapter!
It was hilarious though
I just wish I knew there was a translator at the end so I didn't have to find my own!
Russain was pretty easy to get, but what the heck is Afrikaan?
4117035
South African language based off Dutch.
And in all fairness the jokes are there without translating it.
4117035 South African. Descended from Dutch.
I don't care how rough she is. WHY WOULD YOU GIVE THAT UP?
Unless she broke that too. Poor Rarity. Having to do things all her lonesome...
4117063
Who said he gave her up?
Ha, I could really see this becoming a small series. Language barrier is such a rarely used thing in fics and when it is it's usually removed or worked around by some easy means like a universal translation spell or something like that. Would be fun to see all of ponyville speaking a whole mess of different languages trying to make things work.
4117071 *cough* I meant more in reference to the horny mare that ran out completely thinking she was gonna have some D.
In the case you knew who I was referring to, new chapter or it stays unhappened(it's a word now) :P
Is he forced to communicate in Horse Code, now?
Funny idea, certainly. Could use some editing, though. (It's a "tome", not "tomb", that falls on his head; Spike's name is uncapitalized near the end; etc.)
I love this. I love you.
uuuuaaah le-ve-o-saaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
4117100
Maybe tomorrow...(It's one am.)
Hat...you've struck gold with this story.
WHORE. IT. OUT.
4117131
*Neigh!*
4117135 *angry glare noise*
I find it fun to imagine the human sounds like H.E.L.P.eR. in the second chapter.
This fic got infinitely better once I translated it and discovered why the translator was broken.
... - .- -. -.. .. -. --. / -... -.-- / ..-. --- .-. / -- --- .-. . / --. --- --- -.. / ... .. .-.
And this is the reason why I check email notification for updates, even on 'one shot' stories.
Great! Can't wait for more!
The morse code and Twilight speaking Russian was a stroke of genius. Kudos to you
Rainbow is gonna kick his ass when she finds out about him and Rarity.
Good stuff, though I think I liked the neighing better.
Hahaha, hearing Dutch from Spike reminds me of the lackluster Dutch dub of the show
For those wondering what he said:
" You guys sound stupid."
replygif.net/i/154.gif
My sides!
*Uses Translator* *Snicker*
Well, would take FAR to long to try to even translate all that. And it would be to hard. Could you please put up a text of what he said, or just send it in a pm? That would be nice.
Funny though
AHAHAHA. The translations were unexpected but so, so right.
So far this is probably the most alienating yet fun story I've read on this site. I hope to see more.
not what i expected from a chapter 2 of this, but it was like 10 times better and left me wanting even more AGAIN
FUCKING FUCKER FUCK FUCKITY
One more, please. It can't just end like this. Or can it?
I can count precious few human-in-Equestria stories I have actually been prepared to read (I think it stands at about, what, the fifth or sixth and I've been in the fandom since season one...) Truth be known, I might not have read this one if my regular forum haunt wasn't down today for potentially the next week, leaving me a loose end...
But I'm glad I did, since this was well-executued, novel and quite hilarious.
.... .- .... .- .... .- .... .- .... .-!
Wait, the guy's named "Human"? Or is that just what everypony calls him?
In any case, quite a funny continuation, with or without Morse translation. Much better than if you'd just Rashomoned the previous chapter. Thank you for it.
Twilight: [Science 75] Wait, is that PoniCo Morse Code?
Human: @@[=$+<_--]@@? @@[$((#8#%]@@. @@[$((*&#%]@@
Twilight: Bloody hell, stick to one language at a time, now you're on PoniCo termlink protocol. Let's hope they don't send their robot lawyers to sue us to oblivion.
Human: Dir volaan. Zii los dii du.
Twilight: I give up. Spike, you shout at him.
At this rate, he'll stop making noises altogether and start making rapid hand gestures.
4117379
I seeeriously want to quote /mlp/ on this. I really do. But it would spoil stuff for people who didn't translate it. I still think it's funny.
4117963 I know what you were gonna say, and we all wanna -.-. ..- -- / .. -. / .-. .- .. -. -... --- .-- / -.. .- ... ....
Yeah, I was translating the whole way through, and I have to say, I'm having a hell of a time with this story.
4117547
Sheesh, there's no need to go Peter Capaldi on this.
4117975
This guy
This story sucks.
hahaha that was awesome.
Why's it always Dash? Poor Rarity...
4117153 I imagined he sounded like this.
zianet.com/sparks/cgr2,5kw.jpg
(Naval wireless telegraph.)
But eh, that might just be me.
Spike doesn't have a horn though.............
4118119
Okay?