Equestriooo

by MythrilMoth

Rude Customer

Rarity was rearranging some displays when the bell over the door jingled. "Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where everything is unique, chic, and magnifique!" she carolled.

"Shah...whatever."

Rarity turned slowly on the spot, and her face began to twitch.

Lumpy Space Princess had just floated through the door.

"Err...hello, dear," Rarity said. "What...can I help you find today?"

LSP floated around the shop, eyeing Rarity's dresses with disdain. "You call this fashion?" she said scornfully. "You're like, delusional or something."

Rarity's twitch threatened to develop into a spasm. She coughed delicately into a hoof. "Well, you must understand, darling...whatever your...species...considers fashionable, might not be the same as what is considered the height of pony haute couture." She studied the floating purple ball of ugly, fighting to keep her tone cordial. "Is there perhaps anything I might assist you with?"

LSP snorted. "I doubt it," she said. "But...I've got a hot date tonight. I need to look my best. So I guess you can like, try."

"...Very well," Rarity said. "Rush orders carry an additional charge, of course. You understand."

"Tch...fine," LSP huffed. She began to contract, and her face tightened. She grunted and strained, shuddering in midair. Rarity's eyes widened in alarm.

With a final loud, pained grunt and a disgustingly wet slurping noise, a gold brick fell out of LSP's body and clattered on the floor. Rarity reared, whinnying. "That's DISGUSTING!" she cried.

"What? You don't lumping like gold?" LSP said, annoyed.

"I like gold just fine," Rarity said, studying the brick lying on her showroom floor. "It's...where it came from that bothers me."

"Whatever," LSP huffed. "Are you gonna make me a hot date outfit or not?"

Rarity sighed. "Very well, I suppose so," she said.

"I knew you couldn't resist being my fashion slave," LSP said. She floated to the door, opened it, and hauled in a rusty wagon full of assorted rubbish: torn, soggy scraps of cardboard, a few brown paper bags, and a rusty, bent barrel hoop. "Here's your like, material," LSP said. "Now hurry the lump up!"

Rarity's eye twitch turned into a full-on facial tic. "You..." she growled. Her horn began to glow brightly.

A few passing ponies reared in alarm as a wagon of trash, a lumpy purple princess, and a gold brick were launched out the front door of Carousel Boutique as if shot from a cannon. Rarity stuck her head out, chest heaving and mane frought with stray hairs. Her eyes were narrow, angry pinpricks ringed in bulging veins. "IF YOU COME ANYWHERE NEAR MY BOUTIQUE AGAIN, I WILL PERSONALLY TEAR YOU LUMP FROM LUMP!"

LSP picked herself up off the ground. "Tch. Rude much?" She gathered up her junk. "Fine. I tried to throw your little one-horse shop some lumping business. I'll make the lumping dress myself. Or maybe I'll go lumping naked! My man loves me for who I am!" Her tirade finished, LSP disappeared into the streets of Ponyville, leaving a crowd of ponies exchanging awkward glances in her wake.

"Hmph!" Rarity sniffed, slamming her front door.

Later that evening, on her way home from the spa, she saw Lumpy Space Princess in the company of Ponyville's resident mule. She was wearing several taped-together paper bags as a dress. Rarity shuddered and returned home.

Comments

[Amante]

I am so glad I found this.

[Ikujekon]

Rarity showing Lumpy Space Princess whats what and not taking her shit!

[Pinklestia]

This was good.