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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Fuck he works fast
4115352 Yep.
4117875 Aye.
I like this story, but every time he turns someone, he goes and fucks them, then fights, or fights Black-Watch then fucks them . There really needs to be more of a plot then " Oh, is that a new race or someone that he just met? Hey, buddy, wanna become evolved, kill some Black-Watch, then go fuck if you're a girl? Yeah? AWESOME, LETS GO!" Also, most of your sex scenes including the chapter long one,if you do the math, averages to 17 lines of clop a chapter. Again, I really do like this story, but it's becoming a story with bad clop every chapter or two to keep the reader mildly entertained. Oh, and stop turning every other person who asks into an evolved. Seriously. Stop. For the love of Cthulhu, please stop. If it continues at this pace, like every other world leader and their mother are going to be evolved. That is way to powerful. Also, Sombra. He shows up, makes a small crater, then says "I am King Sombra. God of Hatred," asks to be allies, then when Celestia shows up, he's basically like "Oh, i was insane back then, I'm totally fine now, so could I have that evolved power thingy?" Lastly, some basic words like meat and small are misspelled, so I suggest getting a editor, and trying to lengthen your chapters. Sorry about ranting, I just hate it when a potentially good story gets ruined by bad clop, and having an already godlike army get even more superpowers. Oh, and in chapter ten you say "WARNING!! Long Cop scene of Epic and possibly long chapter. Enjoy." when that chapter is one of your shortest chapters, and the clop is twelve lines.
Vinyl and Octavia are sisters in this story that a new one