Will You Smile Already?!?!
A small park in Manehatten has become the epicenter of insanity. It was a nine-year old colt’s birthday party, and it had to be the most epic sight for any foal that had attended. Fireworks, gigantic balloons, and the cake…
Oh dear Celestia the cake was enormous! A full grown dragon wouldn’t even be able to finish that thing!
Yes siree it was quite a fun time for everypony. And amidst all the festivities, the planner of said birthday party leaned up against a tree in the park, his western hat covering most of his face, quietly observing his masterpiece. The visible part of his face had been his mouth, which was smiling with a large grin.
Obviously he was quite proud of his work.
“We’ve done good Boneless Two. Very good indeed.” He said sounding rather serious for a moment to the rubber chicken sitting on his hat.
This stallion was known as Cheese Sandwich. One of the greatest party planners in all of Equestria, or as he preferred his title, “The Super-Duper-Party-Pony”
Cheese put a noisemaker into his mouth and blew into it, letting out a loud and festive “Bzzzt!”
“Hehe. Never get tired of these things…This is an unpredictable business Boneless Two. Plannin’ party after party after party. Ya never know when one’s just gonna-“ Cheese stopped midsentence as his entire body began to wriggle and twitch in an unpredictable and crazy fashion; his eyes grew huge, and the cheese in the sandwich on his Cutie Mark started to stretch out.
As soon as his Cheesy Sense ceased, the grin on his face grew wider.
“Yowzers! See what I mean?! I don’t think my Cheesy Sense has gone off like THAT since Ponyville! I think this is THE BIG ONE!” Cheese said as he happily hopped out of his western attire, revealing his yellow, collared shirt.
“So, where’re we headed this time? Huh? Huh? Huh?” Cheese asked himself before standing silent for a few moments.
After a few seconds, his happy face turned into one of slight confusion.
“There’s a party goin’ down at a rock farm? A rock farm…wat?” He asked himself again.
Cheese shrugged as he put his hat back on his head, picked Boneless Two up, and threw him over his back.
“Well…alright then if you’re sure that’s the place. The Cheesy Sense has been right every time so far, no reason to question it now…WAIT, AM I NOT TRUSTING MY OWN BRAIN?! WHO CAN I TRUST IF I CAN’T TRUST MYSELF?!” Cheese eccentrically shouted at himself, earning the confused stares of most of the ponies currently attending the party.
Cheese shook his head.
“Focus Cheese. Somepony, somewhere is in need of a party, and you’re gonna give it to them or my name isn’t Daisy Sassafras…and it’s not” Cheese laughed at his own joke as he trotted in the direction wherever his Cheesy Sense was leading him…
Depressing.
That’s the best way to describe the rock farm on which Pinkie Pie grew up. Downright depressing. The sky was dark, there was no grass anywhere, and everything was grey.
Oh and surprise, surprise. There’s rocks everywhere.
But at the moment, the spirits there were being lifted fairly well thanks to Pinkie Pie and her friends. For it was Pinkie’s sister’s, Maud Pie’s, birthday, and being the party pony she was, Pinkie was zooming all around the farm setting up giant banners, tying down balloons, and wheeling in a ton of pastries, all at a speed that would make Rainbow Dash green with envy.
The Mane Six and Pinkie’s family, Maud included, all watched as Pinkie zoomed around the rock farm, performing her various tasks.
“I never did find out where she got all that energy from.” Igneous Rock, Pinkie’s father, said to the five mares.
“She likes sugar…a lot.” Twilight said.
“How is she moving that fast?! Just…HOW?!” Rainbow shouted.
“Really Rainbow? Yall’re gonna question Pinkie logic?” Applejack asked.
Upon realizing what she just said, Rainbow Dash facehoofed
“Oh right. What was I thinking?” Rainbow mumbled.
Limestone, Pinkie’s mother, turned to Maud, who appeared to be looking off into space with a blank stare.
“This is just so nice of your sister to come and help plan your birthday isn’t it Maud?” she asked.
“Mmhm.” Maud mumbled with no emotion whatsoever.
Pinkie came to a screeching halt in front of her friends and family, kicking up a ton of dust and dirt.
“Pinkie Pie, could you please try not to kick up so much dust everywhere? I just had my coat shined.” Rarity said as she dusted off her coat with a hoof.
“Oops. Hehe. Sorry Rarity. I’m just so excited that it’s Maud’s birthday party! I’ve just got to make sure it’s super-de-duper extra special awesome!~” Pinkie squealed.
Pinkie’s sisters, Inkie and Blinkie both smiled.
“Well, you’re doing a real good job Pinkie!” Inkie said.
“Yeah, I don’t think we’ve ever seen Maud so excited!” Blinkie said, pointing at Maud, who was still standing motionless and without a real expression on her face.
“Umm, yeah. She sure looks…happy.” Fluttershy squeaked.
“I know right! She looks like she hardly contain hers-“ Pinkie froze midsentence as she stopped her bouncing with a shocked expression on her face.
“Pinkamena dear, are you alright?” Igneous asked.
Suddenly, Pinkie’s body began to twitch and wriggle at impossible angles, and she started to vibrate, sliding her across the dirt ground.
Once she stopped, she let out a huge gasp as she hopped into the air.
“That was a HUGE one! My Pinkie Sense is telling me that something BIG is gonna happen!” she shouted.
“Big? Big how? Like exciting? Dangerous? What?” Twilight asked.
Pinkie put a hoof to her chin.
“I dunno. But something tells me it has to do with that big, yellow meteor heading straight for us.” Pinkie said, pointing a fast-flying object in the sky heading toward them.
“WHAT?!” Everypony except for Maud screamed in unison.
The flying thing flew right over their heads and slammed into a nearby boulder, causing it to split in half, and the object to land on the ground, kicking up large amounts of dirt, causing it to fly onto the ponies.
“Oh come on now! Again?!” Rarity yelled.
Once the dust cleared, the figure of a disoriented Cheese Sandwich wearing a helmet lay in the middle of the split rock.
“In hindsight, maybe I should’ve taken the train…Oh well! Hahaha!” Cheese laughed as he hopped off the ground, threw the helmet off his head and faced the ponies before him and became quite excited when he saw Pinkie.
“PINKIE!” he cheered.
Pinkie let out another surprised, over-exaggerated gasp.
“OMIGOSH ITSCHEESE!” Pinkie squealed as she galloped over and gave him a huge Pinkie Pie Trademarked Hug.
After a few seconds, Pinkie broke the hug, and the two started to catch up.
“How’s the party business been treatin’ ya Cheesy? Fun isn’t it? Did your Cheesy Sense tell you there was gonna be a party here? Huhhuhhuh?” Pinkie eagerly asked.
Cheese nodded so hard it looked like his neck would snap.
“Yup. Told me there was gonna be a party at a rock farm while I was in Manehatten, so I stuck myself in my cannon and well…here I am!” Cheese said.
Twilight shook her head in disbelief.
“You…shot yourself out of a canon all the way from Manehatten?” she asked.
“Yup!” Cheese said with his head held high.
“Umm Pinkamena dear? Not that we aren’t happy to meet your friend, but who exactly IS he?” Limestone asked her daughter.
“Oh right you haven’t met! Silly me! This is Cheese Sandwich! He’s a Party Pony just like me!~” Pinkie introduced Cheese.
“Nice to meet you Mr. Sandwich.” Igneous said, shaking Cheese’s hoof…
Big mistake considering how vigorous Cheese was.
“Well howdy! Always nice to meet new buddies!” Cheese exclaimed.
Once Igneous’ hoof managed to escape Cheese’s wrath, he started to rub it to get rid of the pain.
“Hehe. Right…” he said.
Igneous, Inkie, and Blinkie introduced themselves afterwards, as well as reconnecting with Pinkie’s friends, but Maud seemed to be the only distant one.
Cheese took notice that Maud wasn’t exactly trying to introduce herself, so he decided to make the first move.
“Yeello! Name’s Cheese Sandwich! Put er there buddy!” Cheese said, holding out his hoof for a high-hoof. Maud just stood there and stared looking like she didn’t really care for his company.
“…Uhhh, alright?” Cheese said, smiling sheepishly.
Cheese leaned in near Applejack’s ear and whispered.
“Yeesh, who’s the buzzkill?” he asked.
“That’s Pinkie’s sister Maud. Her sense of humor is kinda…dry.” She said.
“Oh yeah! Cheese, this is my sister Maud! This party we’re throwing is for her birthday! Go ahead Maud, say hi!” Pinkie said cheerily, pulling Maud close to her shoulder.
“Mmm. Hi.” She mumbled.
There was an odd silence between the party pony and the rock researcher that seemed to last forever, until Rainbow broke it.
“Wow, you can just feel the awkward.” She said.
Maud let out a slight cough.
“Could you give me a minute? I kinda need a drink.” She said, walking to the punch table, Pinkie trailing not too far behind to get some for herself.
When both of them were out of earshot, Cheese spoke up.
“…Something tells me that Maud doesn’t like me.” He said with his ears folded to the sides of his head.
“Oh nonsense darling; Maud just doesn’t show much enthusiasm over…well… anything.” Rarity assured him.
“But it’s her birthday isn’t it? Surely she should be happier than that.” Cheese said.
“Well, she was in Ponyville a couple of weeks ago, and it took a while, but we managed to make friends with her. Though she kind of contains her excitement.” Fluttershy whispered.
Upon hearing his friend’s explanation of Maud’s personality, he stomped his hoof and stood in a heroic-looking stance.
“Well that just WILL NOT do! With Celestia as my witness, I vow to get that pony to laugh if it’s the last thing I do!” Cheese promised himself.
Twilight facehoofed.
“I think someone needs to explain reality to this stallion.” She said.
"No." Says Maud Pie, to the party Pony.
But reality sucks...
4098707 Yeah, Cheese is gonna figure that out when he sees just how dull Maud can be.
Poor Cheese, he's gonna learn the hard way that you can't win em all.
LOL! This is gonna be fun!
And seriously Cheese?
Oh boy, this is going to be fun
LIES NOTHING CAN GET BETWEEN PINKIE AND CHEESE'S LOVE! ha just kidding but yeah like everyone else said cheese is going to be in for a rude awakening
If this was tagged "Romance," I'd totally read it.
Good luck with that Cheese.
Poor Cheese. Fun concept! You might like to tone it down on the capslock, though.
Oh my, I am REALLY looking forward to seeing more of this! Cheese's determination is really quite entertaining. I love your portrayal of his character.
I could really easily imagine this being an actual episode, and to me that's a really important factor. Maud forever!
More, please!
Pinkie better explain Maud's 'control' to her boyfriend.
Cheese is going to have a meltdown. Mmmm, melted cheese.
This outta be good.
.
canon puns are the best puns. you might say he shot himself through the fourth wall then.
Keep up the good work!
I can't wait for more of this! My two favorite new Season 4 characters~
Oh, I can't wait to see where this goes!
Oh my glob! Like, there has to be more of this story.
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Gentlemen, behold! Weird Al Pony vs Daria Pony! Let the insanity commence!
4099352
Best. Pun. Ever.
Oh boy, Cheese is going to have a breakdown. I bet he wont last too long hearing Maud's poems. More!
4104037 Thanks!
Okay... Have yet to read this story- BUT I feel it's an interesting idea..... Actually- it seems like a really good idea. I clap to your creativity. *Clap. Clap. Clap.*
don't tempt fate like that, it is really close to saying "what's the worst that can happen"
4104374 Especially not in Equestria...!
This is going to be a really fun read. I can't wait for more.
“OMIGOSHITSCHEESE!”
Umm....maybe it would be best if you put a space between "GOSH" and "ITS"
4105289 ...
...Well that's embarrasing.
Fixed.
HE CANNON HIMSELF ALL THE WAY HERE FROM MANEATTAN!!!!!!!
why am I not surprise
Owch! My cheek... I think I've been hooked! Faved and upvoted!
I'd love to see this in an episode; the super-duper-party pony vs. the pony version of Daria... WHO WILL WIN?
It took this long for someone to ship this?!
Lol! Twilight facehoofed.
“I think someone needs to explain reality to this stallion.” She said. i wish there was a pie family and a Cheese Sandwich emoticon
The irresistable force meets the immovable object. Yes, this can only end well.
One thing: You're punctuating the dialogue incorrectly. When you have a line of dialogue followed by an attribution of who said it and how (a "dialogue tag"), you have to treat the whole thing as a single sentence. End the dialogue with a comma, not a period, and then do not capitalize the next word outside the " mark unless it's a name. Examples:
If the character's dialogue ends with a ? or !, you use those marks as usual, but you must still treat the following dialogue tag as part of the sentence:
Only if the words outside of the closing " mark are not a dialogue tag, but a separate action being performed after the character has stopped speaking, do you end the dialogue with a period. You don't really have any of those in this chapter, though, so here's an example from one of mine:
Here, "Spike glanced at Twilight", etc. isn't a dialogue tag, it's a separate action. First, he says "Right.", then he glances at Twilight, then back to the waiter, then says a new line of dialogue.
You've also got a couple of past/present tense confusions here and there–
(Don't drink so much coffee.)
(...what?)
(Yeah, then ya won't be so "tense" all the time.)
(Applejack, that joke doth be older than the rocks on Our moon.)
–and a tendency towards run-on sentences that really need an extra comma or two, but the dialogue punctuation is the biggest issue.
4108705 Note to self: Get in touch with my editor next time. Thanks.
4106852 It's not a ship. Not yet anyway.
4111812 Ironically, about a day after this story was released, a CheeseXMaud story was made by someone else...
Oh god what have I started?
Please to be having Maud-Cheese-Pinkie ship. One-up the competition, Sheep! You can't let them win!
Also, am I the only one who was expecting Celestia to thunk down in the field next to Cheese, blowing up more dirt for Rarity to complain about? "Well, you wanted a witness Cheese, here I am!" /just came for the cake
Oh-hoho, this is gonna be good,
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hes so going to crash and burn
4114404 BOOM... fshhhh...
this is truly a great story, i only that it could be an actual episode
By the way I got the joke about the Pie Sister's names, keep this up
By the way this story is officially a part the group 'Super Duper Party Ponies', you're welcome
I love this story
CHEESE SHALL AVENGE HIS GOAL!! P.S, If I was shot out of a cannon, I would not be laughing. I WOULD BE IN THE HOSPITAL!!
I can imagine Celestia planning this whole party out, as if it were destined to happen...
“Well that just WILL NOT do! With Celestia as my witness, I vow to get that pony to laugh if it’s the last thing I do!” Cheese promised himself.
Given this is Maud Pie, it likely will be. She has feelings, she just doesn't EXPRESS THEM like everypony else does.
What happens when the irresistible force meets the immovable object?
Am I the only one who finds it funny how Disscord in is song said he wanted a cheese sandwich and the next episode, who does Wierd Al voice? Cheese Sandwich. Coincidence? I think NOT! Anyway, this is going to be a lot of fun, cheese trying to get Maud to smile. Isn't Pinkie's dad's name Clyde or something? Oh well, this shall be most entertaining!
4484730 Well, according to physics (with a little philosophy thrown in) the force will rebound off the object and continue as if nothing happened or, as is more likely, each will cancel the other out and both will be destroyed.