“And...” She signed yet another document with a flourish. “There!”
Twilight Sparkle, student, librarian, and protégée of Princess Celestia herself, stretched her aching back and looked happily upon the stack of checklists she'd wormed her way through thus far. She had with her lists of books from each of the libraries of Canterlot, each detailing the volumes they were willing to part with due to lack of interest, poor condition, or an unnecessary number of copies, and she was determined to make the most of them. “Exactly one hundred pages sorted through and signed,” she grinned. “This is going to be easier than I thought!”
“Well. I'm glad you're having fun,” her assistant muttered. The little whelp shifted his weight to his other side. “I'm bored and hungry and I think my legs are falling asleep.”
“Sounds like a certain dragon is getting cranky,” the unicorn said with a chuckle. Her attention was already on page one hundred one. “Why don't you take a nap?”
“I did!” Spike complained. “Didn't you even notice?”
The unicorn glanced over at him, surprise evident on her features, before her quill quickly resumed its journey down the page. “Of course I did,” she lied, but her features had softened. “I'm sorry, Spike, but I can't play with you right now. I have another one hundred twenty-eight...” She trailed off as a berry-colored aura surrounded her horn and the page, and she levitated it to rest squarely atop the second stack. “One hundred twenty-seven pages to sort through and I'd like to get through as much as I can before we reach Ponyville.”
Her companion “Yeah, I know... Wait. Isn't that–”
“Next stop: Ponyville!” somepony shouted from the front of their car. The stallion tipped his hat at the pair with a familiar smile. “You'll be wanting to pack your papers away, Miss Twilight. We'll be home in just a minute.”
She was crushed.
“I thought this area looked familiar,” Spike grinned victoriously.
Twilight nodded her thanks to the steward as the dragon pulled a few saddlebags from beneath their seat. She separated the taller stack into two of them and tenderly placed the unread parchment in the third, which she slung onto her back. “Well, there's always tomorrow,” she muttered. “I certainly won't be able to finish it today.”
“Do you think Pinkie has a welcome-back party planned?” he asked hopefully as he picked up the other two bags.
“I'm sure she does.” Twilight smiled faintly at the thought of indulging in some of her favorite foods and games. “She's never passed on the opportunity before!”
The shrill grinding of brakes put an end to their conversation as the train coasted to a stop. When it was finally over Spike jumped to his feet and made his way to the side door with Twilight hot on his heels.
“Hi, girls!” Twilight said happily as she strode into the midday sun.
Nopony waited for them.
She frowned. “Um... Girls?” she muttered, glancing from side to side. A few ponies looked at her as they walked or ran past, but none of them were the friends she'd expected. A blush crept onto her cheeks. “I could have sworn they said they'd meet me at the station.”
“Huh,” was all her companion had to say.
She had known better than to expect all of her friends, but she had expected at least Fluttershy or Pinkie Pie to be there for her.
“Do you think something happened?” he asked. He sounded more curious than nervous.
“I don't know, Spike,” the unicorn replied. “This isn't like them.” With a final glance around the station she trotted briskly away in the direction of her home.
After all, she couldn't dawdle. She was needed back at the library.
Spike followed her at a jog, the two saddlebags bouncing on his shoulders. The whelp was used to the exercise and kept up without breaking a sweat. “Maybe they're helping Applejack raise another barn and they lost track of time?” he reasoned.
“Maybe.”
If that pinched brow was any indicator, the thought wasn't enough to put her at ease. “Or... Or maybe they're waiting for us at the library. Maybe Pinkie wanted to have a surprise party this time.”
Twilight shook her head. “It's not a surprise if we expect it!”
“That's never stopped her before,” the drake reminded her.
She trotted on in silence, chewing the inside of her cheek as she pondered the possibilities. “You know what, Spike?” she said finally. “That does sound like Pinkie Pie. Maybe she thinks I'll be surprised because I don't expect her to do something that obvious.”
Spike smiled at her as the library's top branches broke the skyline. “She's got you there.”
“If that's the case, I hope I remembered to tell them where I started hiding the spare key last month.”
Her assistant, who knew all about Pinkie Pie's surprisingly large collection of keys, kept his mouth shut.
They were almost there before it registered. Twilight had to stop and stare in case it was just a trick of the light. “Spike,” she said slowly, “if you were hosting a surprise party, would you leave the lights on?” Her horn began to glow.
He peered up at the window. “That wouldn't be much of a surp– Oof!”
His guardian turned to find the dragon and both saddlebags sprawled out across the road. Papers scattered across the path from their open mouths. “Spike!” she said crossly. “I told you to be careful!”
“Don't worry, I got it!” he said hastily as he jumped to his feet and began scooping the sheets into a pile. “At least it isn't windy...”
She shook her head. “What am I going to do with you?” she said as she approached the front door, leaving him to his work. She pulled a large bronze key from her saddlebag as she went and made to unlock the door, but there was no familiar clack of shifting pins. Somepony had gone inside and left the door unlocked. At least her note was still tacked to the door, else there was no telling how many ponies might have come in.
She stepped delicately over the threshold. Her hoofsteps seemed eerily loud in the silent library. “Girls?”she said to nopony in particular.
“Omigosh, you're back!”
At the sound of a familiar voice Twilight found the tension dissipating from her shoulders. “Hi, Rainbow Dash!” she called. She turned away and levitated her bag onto the table. “I'm glad you're–”
Only some quick hoofwork kept her from hitting the floor as the pegasus cannoned into her. “Rainbow, be careful!” she admonished her friend. As she looked up she noticed that she and Rainbow were not alone.
“I'm sorry, Miss Sparkle,” she said. She nuzzled the unicorn's chest. “I'm just so happy you're finally back!”
“Well, I...” Her jaw dropped.
Rainbow Dash's eyes had met her own.
Twilight's horn lit up and her power enveloped the pegasus's head. “Rainbow Dash, what happened to your eye?” she asked.
She flinched and fell to her knees. “I'm sorry, Miss Sparkle. They made me do it!” she said quickly.
“Who?”
“Them!” she exclaimed, pointing a hoof and a wing at the three ponies behind her.
“Girls?” Twilight cocked her head at them. “What happened?”
Fluttershy was hiding in an oversized maroon armchair that stood facing away from the pair, only the very tip of her tail visible as it occasionally twitched in and out of view. Pinkie Pie tapped her hooves on the floor and looked at the ceiling, the bookshelves, the other ponies, but could never seem to gather the courage to look toward Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle. Only one pony looked her in the eye; Applejack shifted on the rug in the center of the room and tried to find the words. “This is gonna sound mighty crazy, Twilight...”
The librarian jumped as somepony pushed a shoulder against hers and guided her to the couch. “Dear,” Rarity said firmly, “we need to have a talk about Rainbow Dash.”
The pegasus in question forced herself between the two unicorns to walk Twilight to her seat; she cast a glare at the intruding mare, but Rarity just rolled her eyes and allowed it. “I've made us a snack,” she said brightly, a plate of wheat crackers and lightly-seasoned almond butter hummus following in her wake. “It has been quite a morning for us all, and I don't think anypony has eaten well.”
Pinkie's stomach concurred loudly. “Do you have any more of those muffins?” she asked hopefully.
“I'm sorry, that was all I had,” Rarity apologized, as if the sweets-obsessed filly hadn't eaten Twilight's share along with her own. She rested the plate upon the little table around which the six ponies were placed and ushered Twilight and Rainbow Dash onto the couch. She then sat directly across from them in an armchair much like Fluttershy's and took a deep breath.
“Twilight,” she said, “I'm afraid Rainbow Dash is under the influence of a magic spell.”
The other unicorn nodded and turned to study the pegasus at her side. Twilight's ears fell back as she looked her over. Her posture was a touch on the submissive side, a startling difference from the pegasus's usual swagger. Each breath she took was short and shallow, and judging by the pulsing in her neck her heart rate and blood pressure were up. The most noticeable change was, of course, the eye. “Violet,” she muttered.
“Don't you recognize it?” Rarity urged her. “It's a very familiar shade, is it not?”
“I guess so,” Twilight conceded.
“I think it's cool,” Rainbow said defensively.
Her unicorn ignored her. “What do you know about it, Rarity?”
“It's your eye color, dear. Rainbow's new eye color matches yours perfectly.”
Twilight turned to the other unicorn with her mouth open to speak but was interrupted by a glimpse into the compact makeup mirror the fashionista held between them. Her own face stared back at her, and her own eyes. She turned back to Rainbow Dash to see it there as well. “But what does it mean?” she asked after a moment's thought. “How is it even possible?”
“We found her in your basement,” the other unicorn continued. “She has been telling us all about your efforts to brainwash her over the last two weeks.”
“What?!” She began to tremble all over, a full-body tremor that made her teeth click.
Her friend gave her a level stare. “Twilight, explain.”
“You have to call her Miss Sparkle!” Rainbow Dash stage-whispered, her eyes scanning Twi's face for approval. The corner of Rarity's left eye twitched.
She shook her head in denial, but Rainbow was looking at her like... like a colt looks at his fillyfriend. “I... I can't,” Twilight stammered. “I don't know what's gotten into her. I don't know how she got into my basement. There's nothing down there that could do something like this to a pony. Somepony must have done this to her and then brought her down there.” She peered over her shoulder at the front door. “I knew I should have moved the spare key before I left!” she muttered in exasperation.
Rarity frowned at the pegasus before her. “Twilight, are you sure this was no accident?”
“No way was this an accident!” Dash cut in. “Miss Sparkle fixed me all by herself!”
“But why did you tell me they did it?” the mare in question asked, exasperated. She turned to their four friends with forelegs akimbo. “Isn't that what she said when I came in?”
“No, Twilight, I'm afraid there has been some miscommunication,” Rarity clarified. “We didn't cast this spell. We only removed the bandage hiding the physical effects, which she is convinced was against your wishes.”
“I'm sorry, Miss Sparkle!” Rainbow whined. “They wouldn't let me go back to the library unless I showed them and I had to get back in time to clean up. I just had to!”
“Rainbow Dash , did you just say you wanted to clean up?”
Her pegasus beamed. “Yep! It's just how you left it!”
Twilight's brow furrowed. “As if I wasn't worried before... A spell that can alter her behavioral patterns that much must be some very strong magic.” Annoyance flickered beneath her friend's prismatic mane for a fraction of a second.
“But who would've done something like that to RD?” Applejack asked.
“I don't know. I checked on a few loose ends before I left Canterlot. There were no fluctuations in the strength of the spell we placed upon Discord, and the Princesses say their troops haven't noticed any serious movement among the changelings.” She scowled. “I would say it was somepony we haven't met before, but this feels like a personal attack.”
“So you think it's somepony we've faced before,” Rarity said slowly. “That doesn't leave us many possibilities.”
“None, if you ask me,” Applejack agreed. “The only magical ponies we know who'd have a grudge are dead, turned to stone, or that Trixie filly that keeps coming back for more.”
“Oh, please,” Rarity scoffed. “Unless that braggart has managed to get her hooves on another magical artifact, I think we are safe to ignore her.”
Twilight was staring off into the distance with her chin resting on a hoof. “I don't know, Rarity,” she said. “I don't think we can afford to ignore any possible leads, even if that lead is the Great and Powerful Trixie.”
“She's not as great and powerful as you, Miss Sparkle,” Rainbow said helpfully.
Deep in the cushions of her armchair, Fluttershy blushed.
“Rainbow Dash, will you stop making passes at Twilight for a moment?” Rarity asked politely. “You're making Fluttershy uncomfortable.”
“She ain't the only one,” AJ muttered.
“You're really definitely not her fillyfriend, Dashie,” Pinkie added. “Just ask her.”
“I am too!” the pegasus insisted. She rolled onto her back and burrowed her head into Twilight's lap, to the unicorn's apparent discomfort. “I'm her little Rainbow!”
Pinkie laughed. “Little? You're not a filly anymore. You're almost as big as she is!”
“But my brain isn't. Miss Sparkle says I have a little brain and I need her help to be an intelligent and mature pony like her.”
A collective gasp sounded throughout the room. “Twilight!” Pinkie exclaimed. “You should be ashamed of yourself!”
“Gosh darnit, Pinkie Pie, why don't you think before you talk for once! Twi wouldn't say nothing like that,” Applejack argued. “It must have been somepony pretending to be her.”
“Applejack's right,” the librarian exclaimed defensively. “Come on, girls, you know I love you just the way you are!” She smiled at Pinkie, and the trusting earth pony immediately smiled back.
After a moment of warmth had passed, Rarity cleared her throat. “That, of course, implies that you do think us inferior in certain aspects and only tolerate our behavior because we are your friends.”
The group fell silent as Twilight tried to come up with a response to that.
An armchair rustled as somepony dug their way out of it. “That wasn't fair, Rarity,” Fluttershy said firmly. “You shouldn't take your frustration out on Twilight. Today hasn't been easy for you, but just imagine how she must feel!”
The pale unicorn met her eye for a brief moment, aghast at being called to account, but there was no denying that she was in the wrong. “You're right, Fluttershy, as always,” she sighed. “I'm sorry, Twilight. I didn't mean what I said. After all, we all have our faults, hm?”
“I suppose,” Twilight mumbled. A blue hoof stretched upward and stroked her shoulder. A smile began to appear on her muzzle, but the realization of who was comforting her and why made it falter. “Rainbow Dash, what really happened to you?” she asked. “All I've heard so far is what didn't. Has she told you what happened?” she asked the girls. They nodded uncomfortably.
Rainbow cleared her throat. “Um... don't you remember?” she asked hesitantly. “Is this a test?”
She applied hoof to face with vigor. “No,” she replied. “Nopony's told me the details yet. I want you to tell me everything you remember.”
“Okay...” The pegasus's ears fell back. “You brought me down to the basement, and then I blacked out. When I woke up you were telling me...” She blushed. “You know, what a good girl I was, and all that. And how you were gonna fix me.” Twilight's expression didn't change, but her cheek began to twitch. “You know, make me into the perfect marefriend and stuff. I was a little nervous at first, but the second time I woke up I felt a lot better. I don't know what you did exactly, but there was a lot of magic involved. You looked so awesome, standing there with your eyes closed and your horn glowing like that...” Rainbow beamed up at her, and her cheeks were noticeably pink. “Then I went back to sleep. It took, like, maybe a week to do everything and... and run a-all the tests...” Her hesitation went unnoticed by the entranced mares around her. “After that you wrapped my eye up and told me not to touch it. Then you went to Canterlot and I stayed down here until this morning, like you asked.” The pegasus's eyes meandered off toward her scalp as she thought over her words, but ultimately they slid back to meet Twilight's and crinkled happily at the corners. “Did I get everything?”
The twitch of her cheek had become something of a dance. “Rainbow Dash,” she said furiously. Her friend shrank into herself and pulled her hooves up to her chest as she stared up at the mage's ire. “None of that actually happened. All of that is nothing but false memories implanted in you by whatever spell you're under.”
Rainbow's eyes were watering. “But Miss Sparkle, you were so proud of me,” she whispered.
“I am not proud of you and I am not Miss Sparkle!” Twilight shouted. She leaped to her hooves and bared her teeth at their friends. “Girls, we've got work to do. We're going to find whoever did this and make them rue the day they hurt Rainbow Dash!”
Rarity grinned. “That's the spirit, Twilight!” she exclaimed.
“When I find 'em, they're in for a world of pain,” Applejack promised.
Fluttershy nodded. “For Rainbow Dash,” she said proudly.
“Great!” Pinkie beamed. She hopped into the air, her excitement too strong for gravity to contain. “So where do we start?”
“I have no idea!”
The mood went flat. “Not even a little one?” the party pony asked from midair. She fell heavily to her hooves.
Twilight was already pacing back and forth. “How can a pony do something like this?” she muttered. Rainbow watched her nervously from the sofa. “How could they strip away a pony's free will? Who could want so desperately to ruin my reputation that they'd be willing to destroy Rainbow Dash to do it?”
As Rarity watched her friend wear a groove into her floor she began to ponder. There were only so many wizards in Ponyville and Canterlot, and finding one that disliked Twilight that much was a difficult proposition. Her friend was loved by most of their neighbors; whether it was her friendly and helpful attitude, her tendency to know everything about anything, or even simply the adorable face she made when faced with a difficult question, it seemed everypony in town had something nice to say about Twilight Sparkle. Rarity couldn't be certain if it was the same in Canterlot, but her place at the Princesses' side was likely enough to deter behavior such as this. That left her with so few suspects:
Nightmare Moon was gone for good. Sombra had been destroyed almost a year prior. Discord and Queen Chrysalis were accounted for. Who else could be to blame? Trixie?
Well, that was outrageous. The chances of that self-important filly finding not one but two ancient artifacts of power were simply astronomical, and she wasn't nearly powerful enough to do something like this without one.
In fact, Rarity only knew one pony who could have been strong enough to perform a feat such as this.
“Twilight...”
“Yes, Rarity?” She didn't stop moving.
“What...” She paused. “What are the symptoms telling you?” she asked. “Do you recognize anything about this magic?
“I can recognize a lot of familiar details about the type of magic used, but taken as a whole it's unlike any enchantment I've ever seen,” she said. “I've read about spells that attract, enamor, or enthrall.” She snagged a cracker from the platter and deftly scooped some hummus onto it as she passed. “I've read about enchantments based in the theories of hypnotism or chemical reaction within the brain. I've even seen one that renders the target a puppet for the caster to command as they see fit! None of them look like this!”
“Are you sure it ain't a love potion?” AJ asked.
The snack hesitated on the way to her mouth. “I've never seen one in action,” she admitted, “but where would she have gotten one?”
Rainbow Dash dipped low as she crossed the unicorn's path and stroked a wing beneath her chin. “I don't need a potion to make my love for you real!” she said with a winning smile.
Twilight jumped away as if electrocuted and dropped her cracker onto the rug, splattering hummus across the fibers. “Rainbow!” she sputtered. “Just – Just go sit somewhere and stop...” Her lips struggled with the word. “Flirting.”
Her face fell, but the pegasus immediately lifted her hooves and fluttered back onto her sofa. “Sorry, Miss Sparkle,” she muttered.
Twilight watched her go. “Oh my goodness,” she breathed as Rainbow settled herself upon it. “She actually did it. She didn't even argue.”
Rainbow's frown turned upside-down.
“Don't look so pleased, Twilight,” Rarity muttered. “You know it's only because of that horrible spell.”
“I know that,” she replied, affronted. “I just... I expected another argument.”
“I'd never argue with you, Miss Sparkle,” Rainbow insisted with a duck of her head.
Twilight spun to face her.“No more!” she raged. “I'm not going to put up with this any longer! You can't keep acting like this. What are our friends supposed to think?” Rarity nodded.
She glanced over at Rarity. “Um... How do you want me to act?”
“I want you to be yourself,” Twilight growled.
“I'm trying!” A bead of sweat traveled along her temple. “I don't know what myself is anymore.” She turned her head away and rested it on the edge of the couch, her eyes on nothing in particular. “Please, Miss Sparkle, can't you tell me what I'm supposed to do?” she pleaded.
“Rainbow, stop this!"
She immediately shut her mouth and turned her attention to the object of her affection.
“Tell them it wasn't me!”
“It wasn't her,” she said immediately.
“Tell us why you're like this.”
“Because you fixed my brain with your magic!” she said with a toothy grin.
Twilight growled deep in her throat. “I did not!”
Their friends' heads swung from one to the other as though they were watching a tennis match. “Well Rainbow, did she or didn't she?” Applejack asked.
“It wasn't her,” she repeated with that same expectant smile.
Twilight threw up her hooves.
Rarity's blue aura lifted a cracker to her mouth. “You're not making your case, Twilight,” she said.
“She don't have to!” the farmer exclaimed. “Don't even start talking like Twi could've done this sort of thing.”
“I didn't say that I thought she did,” the unicorn said smoothly, but her eyes remained on Twilight. “I'm simply telling you that news like this won't be kept a secret for long. Somepony will start asking questions that we don't have answers to, and if Twilight fails to satisfy the authorities I'm afraid they'll get the wrong idea.”
“How could I have been the one to do this?” Twilight exclaimed. “I've been in Canterlot for a week! I have an alibi!”
“But Rainbow was missing before you left,” her friend insisted.
“She was not!” Twilight pointed a hoof at Rainbow Dash, who jumped to attention. “She told me she was going to Cloudsdale for two weeks. Ask anypony there; I'm sure they'll have seen her!”
“Rainbow told you that?” Rarity asked.
“And she didn't tell anypony else?” AJ added.
Twilight looked from one to the other uncertainly. “I'm sure she did,” she said uncertainly. “Didn't anypony ask the weather team?”
“They've been complaining the whole time,” Applejack replied.
Twilight's eyes hit the floor. “Well, you know Rainbow...”
“Yeah, which is why we weren't worried the first few days.”
“But as the days passed, her absence grew more difficult to ignore...”
“And now it looks like we have all kinds of reasons to be worried!” Pinkie concluded.
“Girls, please!” Twilight interrupted. “There's no need to panic. Bring her down to the basement; we'll run a few tests and I'll soon find the reason for her behavior.”
A blue hoof shot into the air. “B-But Miss Sparkle...”
“What now, Rainbow Dash?” she growled.
The hoof lowered shakily as her pegasus shuffled her wings. “You said we wouldn't play with the machines anymore,” she said finally.
Twilight sighed. “We're just going to run a few simple tests.”
“What do you think you'll find?” Rarity asked.
“Well, she's obviously under some kind of enchantment.” Twilight walked toward the basement and beckoned for the pegasus to follow. “If I can find the cause, we can counter it and hopefully Rainbow Dash will be able to tell us what really happened.”
Suddenly Fluttershy rose out of her armchair and into the air to settle beside the other pegasus. “Oh, Rainbow, what's wrong?”
Rainbow was trembling so hard her teeth chattered. She shook her head at the other pegasus and slid onto the floor. Her legs moved in quick jerks as she walked slowly toward the other girls.
“Tell me what's wrong, Rainbow,” Twilight said softly.
Rainbow Dash swallowed. “D-do we... d'we have to play with the machines?” she stammered, her eyes glistening. “They hurt my head!”
Pinkie gripped her around the withers in a tight, safe hug as Fluttershy stroked her mane with a hoof. “It's okay, Rainbow,” the soft-spoken pegasus promised. “Twilight won't hurt you.”
“It's Miss Sparkle,” she whispered.
“Don't worry, Rainbow Dash,” Twi said soothingly. “It shouldn't take more than an hour. After that we should be able to find out what really happened to you.”
The fearless Rainbow Dash began to hyperventilate.
4076426
I see!
Well, I retract my previous comment then.
i was kinda hoping it was her but maybe it was her under the influence of a spell herself
Why do I hope that Twi is lying?
You deliver as always. Now for my usual feedback. MORE!!
This is confusing me,...
4076797 lying or not, still hoping this stays as a twidash in the end.
4076376 takinga psychological turn ith them is difficult at best I would say. largely because they ain't human. not less human, just they developed in a very different way. psychosis could well be very different for an equine than a human.
other than that if she was a psychopath then the elemens would weaken. having unnatural emotions would probably cause the element to either weaken to compeltelyl abandon a bearer. for friendship requires the capacity for healthy emotion.
though I am not beyond the concept of some kind of mental instability being part of twilight. then again I think that all of equestrian has some level of instability, minor or otherwise. how else can they deal with a world where you can accidentally stumble upon some citrus/amphibian hybrid and not go mad?
more seriously, I have a concept for twilight being bonkers......... its far more complicated that her having something wrong with her head. tis that something is right with it.
4076766
I'm not as happy with my portrayal of Rarity in this story as in my last one. The thing is, since I've been writing 'Miss Sparkle' in a hurry I haven't been able to pin down exactly what's wrong with her. Care to elaborate? I'm always looking to improve!
4076795 4076797 4077050
So it seems everypony wants Twilight to go batshit and make the citizens of Ponyville her bitches. We'll see.
4076877
Aww, thanks. I'm happy to hear that I haven't started boring anypony. Never fear, I'm hard at work on the next chapter!
4077012
Then my work here is done. What fun is a story with a predictable ending?
4077076
While I agree that psychosis could be different, I don't think it has to be. Ponies and humans are very similar in every aspect but their appearance, after all.
As for the elements, I believe that the proper mindset as a whole is key: embodying the Element they bear while being in absolute harmony with the other bearers. I don't think an Element would abandon the bearer completely, though, else they would have lost them during the Return of Harmony arc. The Element of Magic, though, is different. A few ponies in 'Miss Sparkle' have their theories about the topic.
Oh, and while we're on the topic of mental instability, I think it's important to every world. How else can we stumble upon a fox flattened by a semi truck, surrounded by its keening pups, and not go mad? I'd rather meet one of Twilight's experiments.
4077321 not really, more like no matter how this all turns out, i don't want anyone to die, and i'd love it if twidash wound up being the end ship. i've never had a serious problem with some sorts of evil twilight, especially if i don't read it, and just see the results. i'm weird that way. like, i don't mind if she did make dash the way she is right now, since i didn't read that she did it. all i'm reading is an unusual twidash shipping story. does that make sense?
4077321 points towards the rainbow eyes epsidoes.
no, a mindset is not part of it at all. cause if you think about it, Fluttershy had the right mindset for kindness. yet she had to overcome her own virtue to truly help another. if it was nothing more than mindset then it would be more one dimensional in purpose, and there would be no error in letting it take over.
and if you think about it, it would have to be different. largely ponies have similarities mentally yet major differences. would a species that is an herbivore species likely produce serial killers? not saying it would be imposible but first it would have to byupass millennium of development that tell them blood equels panic.
4059235
blah blah Cold Lightning, blah blah blah.
Interesting... I actually hope it wasn't Twi, but there's still TwiDash in the end.
Maybe Twilight has some kind of DID(Dissociative identity disorder, the technical and proper term for 'multiple personalities') which is why she doesn't remember doing, whatever happened to RD? That or she's a really good liar.
Either wat, looking forward to more.
5 bucks say Sombra isn't as dead as they think he is.
You took my kingdom from me, Sparkle, so I'll take your reputation! Your perfect academic record, your mentorship, your friends...
4076766
So does everyone in the Survey Corps, but Eren isn't doing a very good job getting them there.
In no particular order:
>Trixie
>Chrysalis (just cause her army's not done anything doesn't mean she hasn't)
>NMM (never discount the possibility of evil!Luna)
>Flim and Flam (revenge by proxy)
>Lightning Dust (bonus points for her focus being on RD and Twilight just being a scapegoat)
>Blueblood
>Dash herself (if this turns into one of those bullshit Mare Do Well stories)
>Celestia (lol, it was a test to see if you're ready to be a princess)
>Pinkie (if this turns into one of those bullshit Too Many Pinkies stories)
>Discord (if I had a dollar for every time he could influence events from within his prison in fanfics, I could hire someone to kill Knighty)
>Humanity (if this turns into one of those bullshit anti-Conversion Bureau stories)
>Twilight herself (what a twist)
And, of course, this being a grimdark-y fanfic, Rarity has to act like a bitch. Par for the course. Yes, Rarity, believe what the brainwashed person's saying over the friend you've known for years.
Which is why you bring the princesses in now. Nip this issue in the bud before it spirals out of control
into another horrifying fanfic justice system. Plus there's probably some magibabble they can do to sort it out. At the very least, it'll get the highest echelons of Equestria involved in sorting things out or keep an eye on Twilight if she proves to be pulling a Severing.Gotta say, it's looking increasingly unlikely that Twilight's really going to live up to the title. If she really did do this and is now in full damage control mode, then someone needs to hire her in a PR firm because she's handling it better than anyone could.
4077321 On the matter of The Problem With Rarity, it kinda just seems like she's intent on sitting there taking potshots at Twilight. Pinkie blurts out the wrong thing without thinking, AJ is doing her best to stay level-headed, Fluttershy is flustered, but Rarity just seems intent on being snide with Twilight. I get having a credible measure of doubt, given the circumstances, but how far she takes it seems a bit out of character for being one of Twilight's closest friends.
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I understand completely. It's like the difference between reading a fic about Pinkie Pie's death and reading about her funeral: you know something terrible must have happened, but there isn't that moment of agony that comes with the cause.
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There are many kinds of kindness, loyalty, et cetera. There is neither black nor white in matters of morality. Besides, before those episodes aired the Elements of Harmony had been returned to the Tree. This new magic seems to work differently. Maybe the Tree has matured over the last thousand years!
Absolutely. Many violent crimes committed by vegetarians and vegans every year; in fact, Charles Manson and many members of his Family were vegans. I know that humans are an omnivorous species, not an herbivorous one, so the scenario isn't quite the same but I think the logic still applies.
I suppose I can't answer properly because I'm left wondering why an herbivorous species shouldn't be able to produce serial killers. They don't work only to create a food source, nor only to cause panic; any species with a lust for power and the potential for madness can produce killers, and any killer can make a habit of or become addicted to the act and turn it into something more. Think about dogs: there are some, even those who were raised properly, who will attack and attempt to kill another dog on sight. That sounds like serial killer material to me. The only difference is that dogs don't feel they have to follow a code, or hide their murderous intentions. I've even heard secondhand stories of horses that act very similarly, though I can't verify them myself.
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I can understand where you're coming from, considering the tone of the series itself. Even Rarity has proven to be capable of keeping it together in a crisis, however, and I believe that the corruption of a dear friend is important enough for them to keep their heads for the most part, especially when the culprit is said to be another friend known to possess terrifying power and a tendency to overreact. There are few things more sobering than a dilemma such as this.
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I'll never tell. Wait, scratch that. I'll tell eventually.
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I haven't watched Filli Vanilli yet. In fact, I haven't watched an episode since 'Pinkie Pride'. I'm so far behind...
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Humans are out of the question. That's all I'm saying about your list so far.
Rarity is acting like a bitch because - and I say this with all the warmth in my heart - she is a bitch, second-best pony () or not. She's gossipy, she's easily annoyed, she's dramatic and insecure, and while she has a generous heart she can show it in very self-centered ways.
She had been left to her own devices for two hours while waiting for the train, and of course she would to try and solve the mystery, being the confident and protective mare that she is. She may have a very good poker face when actively trying to keep calm for her friends' benefit - she managed to refrain from her usual outbursts, only occasionally showing a nervous tic - but her inability to think her way through the problem would eventually irritate her to no end, and thus worsen her tendency to lash out. Besides, this friend she's known for years (between one and a half and two years, to be exact) has been known to be rather unpredictable under pressure and to try to use magic to solve her problems in an extreme fashion.
However, your concerns do bring to light some of the issues I have with my portrayal of her. Since I sped straight from the hospital scene to Twilight's return, the readers don't know how much of a tizzy she's managed to work herself into. I edited out enough of her emotional reactions that she seems a bit too cold now. I suppose I gave her too good a poker face! That's one of the main problems I have with my writing style: I'll occasionally write as though the reader and I both know something without explaining quite what that something is, or I'll edit out something I think isn't important only to realize later how much it was needed. I hope that by doing these contest entries, I'll learn to break that and other bad habits.
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That's another problem I couldn't pinpoint until now. She's been so intent on being the reasonable, logical foil to her three friends that she comes across as rather single-minded. However, she has good reason. On top of the symptoms of the spell and Twilight's well-known instability, there is another factor adding to her agitation, one that I haven't delved into yet. I hope it will all become clear in time.
Thanks for the feedback, everypony! I'll keep it in mind while I finish the next chapter. If enough readers think Rarity's reaction or other parts of chapter three were startling enough to require minor edits or additions, I'll try to fit them in, but even after I cut it down to four thousand words I think it's wordy enough, haha.
4081900 ......you do realize a vegan is not equivalent to an herbivore, right? a vegan is a species that is omnivorous and chosses to go for vegetation. an herbivore has no choice in the matter. a vebgan still cannot change the fact he or she comes from a species that has predatorial tendencies. which can arguably manifest through killing as they are taking life to gain some gratification.
could a pony be a serial killer? perhaps. though we are talking about a not predatorial creature having to bypass millennia of evolution and psychological barriers in order to become one. likely meaning if any could eist, they would be extremely, extremely rare. and likely not very productive cause, well, everyone else will have those millennium of psychology and instinct. blood smells pretty strong to a ne herbivore; it means fucking book to them. and fur likely makes it hard to wash out the smell.
..... you actually thik they are separated from the elements dude? obviously they are not. even if the elements remain in the tree, likely because they do not want to risk weakening the tree again. when they were returned the retained the shape that the mane si shaped them into.
the tree likely gave them something that would allow them to still use its power even if its elements remained where they belong. so that theory does not work.
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Even if they were completely herbivores, herbivores kill. The African Water Buffalo has been shown to hunt down and stomp to death lion cubs and other predatory youth if it gets the opportunity. Male horses will kill foals that are not their own (which is why mares usually have sex with every stallion around to ensure that the foals will survive).
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Yes, I know the difference well. After all, I'm a vegetarian, one of my roommates is a vegan and the other is neither. Unlike the horse or the termite, our systems are all perfectly equipped to handle a bacon cheeseburger if we really had to, because Hooray for Genetics. Like I said, there is no perfect metaphor because there aren't any purely herbivorous races with minds or social structures like those of the human.
That being said, I found the case I was talking about earlier, case number 030801104 filed at the Pima County Sheriff's Office. Thirty-seven alleged horse-slashings at the Tanque Verde Guest Ranch turned out to be the result of one stallion's aggression. I'd say the stallion did receive gratification from the violence; all classical training is based in the theory of reward and punishment, after all, and after the first attack (with the scent of blood trapped in the fur under his nose) the horse wouldn't have continued slashing open thirty-six more necks with his teeth unless it was beneficial to him.
Are horses predatory? They don't hunt and kill to eat, no. They are, however, territorial and social creatures. They maintain a hierarchy, which is apparently enough of a motivation for this stallion, at least, to climb it by force. I'd say this horse showed psychopathic tendencies. It's not much of a leap to consider a pony, a creature like a horse with a complex sentient mind and the emotional turmoil that comes with it, capable of going that extra mile.
As for the Elements, they are certainly not separated from their Bearers completely. Otherwise, what would be the point of these rainbow-eye episodes you mentioned? There would be no point in exploring the different facets of their Elements if the experience would be useless to them. I'm talking about the physical representations of them: the necklaces and tiara, the artifacts that would be activated in the manner with which we're familiar. Who can say how... whatever magic is in that box would be used?
4082522 and both are compeltely different isntincts than predatorial. self preservation, self defense. aggression is not equal to homicidal urges.
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No, that would be like calling a rectangle a square. Aggressive tendencies can lead toward homicidal tendencies. but homicidal tendencies are not necessarily the end result of all aggression. I can't think of ponies as nothing more than lesser herbivores, though, because as I said their minds are very complex and any machine that complex can easily have a screw knocked loose or be broken entirely.
You know what? I think I can resolve this pretty easily...
It's fanfiction! Li'l Miss Rarity, Fluttercord, and Death Note: Equestria are all relevant and acceptable in the realm of fanfiction, for it is a place where anypony can add their own ideas to an existing universe. Whether it be grimdark, clop, or crossover events, nopony has the right to say it isn't possible. I like grimdark. I'm not comfortable with clop. I dislike crossovers. Why should I expect you to care what I like or don't? Who am I to judge the events of another's stories? After all, anything is possible... with IMAGINATION!
Well, I must be off to finish chapter four. Feel free to post a rebuttal or what-have-you and I'll be back to read it later. Wish me luck, everypony!
I'm glad that the issue that Rainbow Dash was missing for a fortnight was brought up, but I'm still not sure why exactly it wasn't brought up before. If my friend disappeared off of the face of the Earth for two whole weeks, I'd probably be rather quite worried.
I'm kinda hoping that Twilight has been framed, but if it was actually her, it should be very interesting to see how this plays out.
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I believe that her disappearance, or at least her friends' and neighbors' reaction, was brought up but the length of time wasn't specified. Besides, it's Rainbow Dash! I tried to show in context that she's been known to wander off for a while, either visiting Cloudsdale or spending some time in the mountains trying new tricks. In fact I originally said so explicitly in the first chapter, but it seemed rather telly so I cut it.
The question is appreciated, as is any other constructive criticism. Perhaps I'll go back and clean that up as well while I look over chapter three. At the moment, though, I'm tired enough that I can't even read through the final draft of chapter four without making two mistakes per line.
Speaking of which... Good news, everypony! Despite my word processor freezing or crashing no fewer than forty times today, I think I've nearly finished the final draft of chapter four. Barring explosions or other computer malfunctions, I'll be able to post it tomorrow! See you then, everypony. Good night for now!
I'm kinda leaning twords Twilight having some kind of multi personality syndrome where 'Miss Sparkle' is her evil side. I wonder how her friends would react if Princess Celestia showed up brainwashed like Rainbow in a few weeks. It would be funny seeing Twilight try to explain herself out of that one lol!
They're mares, not fillies
That deception. (or is it?)
You created a complete psychopath here. Not the "homicidal maniac" psychopath, but someone not caring for others, but able to act as if they did with a more effective deception than most people.
I'm no psychiatrist; but that's what a true psychopath is my in my book.
Being very aware that this chapter is told from Twilight's perspective, I'm detecting a lot of curiously subconscious oddities in the narration...
The fact that they're totally discounting Trixie raises my suspicions.
Okay, so either Twilight has multiple personalities or someone is very effectively framing her. The odd little quirks I'm noticing suggest the former, but common odds suggest the latter. I was waiting to see how Twilight would be when she showed up, but she seems normal (again, little quirks aside). My curiosity, it has been piqued.
I am inclined to believe Twilight might have a case of multiple personalities. Either way, we'll carry on!
Oh she's not just a psycho. She's a clever one. Damn clever. And she's a damn good actor too.
Of course, rarity is also good at acting... sort of. ...
(Excuse my rambling, I'm enjoying this story. )
5475128 I absolutely agree with you.