The Hunter

by Steventheman

Target 01 - Operation Proving Ground

Marisa stared, wide-eyed in disbelief at the three horses in front of her. They wore silly little costumes, just like the others she faced last night. Last night was a mere observation, but now it was a credible theory: Marisa Kirisame had gone completely off her rocker. She was probably inside a little box fort in her house now, wearing a checked gingham dress, army boots and a penguin hand puppet, while Reimu stared at her, unsure of whether to talk her out of the delusional insanity like an adult would do or simply keep hitting her about the head until Marisa was either sane again or her head caved in, like a shrine maiden would do.

“W-124, please stop staring at me,” a unicorn in a lab coat asked, the first voice on the intercom.

“I’m sorry, I’m just having a minor existential crisis. Just give me a moment,” Marisa replied, her entire life flashing through her mind for anything that could serve as a precedent to this moment. The flashbacks only confirmed two things - That she spent way too much time fussing over her hair colour as a child, and that no, there was absolutely no way anyone in Gensokyo could’ve ever seen this coming. She sighed sharply, and opened her mouth to talk, before closing it again and returning to her thoughts. The off-white, lab coated unicorn, the tan, general pegasus and the suited-up dark blue pegasus gave each other looks, before the general coughed.

“W-124, what is wrong?”

“Oh, just about everything. I thought those horses last night were just a bunch of fairies in costume, trying to scare me. But now I see clearly, that I really should not have basked in those moon beams all those years ago, and I should not have played around with mercury so much as a child.” Marisa gave a short laugh. “Because what I am seeing here, is without a doubt, and with all my confidence and credibility as a scientist and a witch do I say this; very silly.”

“What do you mean?” the lab coat guy asked.

Marisa advanced, and put her face in his. “Horses. Don’t. Talk.”

The lab coat horse recoiled slightly. “How dare you call me a horse. I am a pony!”

Marisa shrugged. “Same thing.”

“Calm yourself down, Genesis,” the general warned. The labcoat frowned.

“Genesis? Your name is seriously Genesis?” Marisa grinned. This particular pony had annoyed her, and it was only fair she returned the favour.

“Yes, it is!” Genesis snapped. “Come on, we must go to A2.”

The three horses led the way down the tight corridor. After a few turns in the concrete rat’s nest, the group arrived at a giant metal door. The suit pressed a button with his hoof.

“S-201,” he declared.

“I’m sorry, did you mean AR-324?” a robotic voice responded. Marisa jumped back a little from the sudden disembodied voice. She felt the back of her head with her left hand. She felt the wound from last night, and the dried blood in her hair. She decided that as soon as it was reasonable, she was going to ask for a bath or something.

“Stupid voice recognition. Why did we even install this?!” the suit angrily muttered, before simply placing his right hoof onto a scanner. After a minute or so, the door opened from the top, slowly unveiling yet another concrete corridor.

“I can tell you guys aren’t big on interior design,” Marisa joked. “What, this is the...fifth same old drab grey corridor. Come on, would it really kill you to install a window?”

“Well, we’re about fifty feet underground.” Genesis replied, rolling his eyes. “So no, we cannot install a window. Does your species need access to sunlight?”

“Well, kinda. You turn pale and sickly without it,” Marisa answered, continuing to follow the group. After yet another turn into yet another bland concrete corridor, Marisa was about ready to cry from the sheer boredom the corridors were producing.

“We’re here.” the general said, opening the door with his hooves. Marisa stepped forwards and slammed her head on the top of the door frame.

“Dammit!” Marisa cried out, holding her forehead. “What the hell? How small is this doorway!?”

Genesis scoffed, and pointed up to a yellow and black sign. Marisa couldn’t understand a single word.

The group filed into the conference room. Marisa sat down on the first available seat and put her feet up onto the table.

“Okay Marisa, we can discuss terms further in here,” the general began before even sitting down. “My name is Senator-General Irons. Your hat is currently in a storage room along with your Tactical Laser, and two coins of unknown origin.”

Genesis cleared his throat. “I am Genesis. I am the head researcher of the Canterlot Mine Facility, where we are now.”

The suit stood in the back of the room. “I’m Captain Holdt, I am the head of security for this particular holding sector.”

Marisa scratched the back of her head. She felt a small pain, before looking at the fresh blood under her fingernail. “Well, I’m Marisa Kirisame, and I do so many things that if all the oceans were ink, there would not be enough to write even a tenth of what I do.”

“We’re aware of that,” Irons replied. He picked up a cigar from his front pocket, before Genesis lit it with his horn. He took a puff. “So, you’re a human warrior and you’re willing to help us in our mission. What makes you so ready to work with us?”

“Are you paying me?” Marisa asked.

“We don’t officially use mercenaries,” the general replied.

“I’m not a mercenary, I’m a private contractor,” Marisa corrected.

“I see. So...” the general took a deep breath before dropping his cigar. “Damned hooves.”

Marisa looked at her own hand, before looking up. “I’m actually ready now, I just need a bath because of all the blood in my hair.”

“There’s a decontamination shower nearby, you can just use that,” Holdt said.

“Works for me.”

---

Marisa adjusted the hat on her head, before checking over her mini-Hakkero to ensure that the ponies did not screw with it. The general nodded towards Genesis, before the scientist pushed a pair of headphones into Marisa’s hands.

“This will allow you to keep in contact with the other members of your team and this facility,” Genesis explained.

“Woah, I was not told I was part of a team,” Marisa complained, looking at the bulky headset. “I don’t play well with others.”

“What, you thought we would just release you out into the field without any kind of back-up or supervision? This allows us to keep in contact with you, in case you decide that desertion is an option,” Irons replied, looking over at a group of five flight-suited pegasi, before calling over one of them. “Marisa, this is Halo One.”

“Hey,” Marisa greeted.

“Halo Team is making up your observation team. If you are to be believed, you can handle this threat just fine by yourself.”

“Who’s ass am I kicking today, anyway?” Marisa asked, folding her arms.

“Biped, just like you. Red mane, bat-like wings on the head and back. Similar coloured clothing to yourself. Last spotted a few miles south of Canterlot. Halo Team will lead you there.”

Marisa scanned through a mental list of everyone she ever met and cared to remember. Nothing really came up for the physical description.

“While it didn’t actually fire back, it demonstrated remarkable evasion skill,” Halo One said. She walked onto the runway and beckoned Marisa over. The Halo Team arranged themselves into a formation, leaving Marisa to awkwardly attempt to fit in on the back. Once she was in position, she took her hat off, placed the headphones on and then replaced her hat, before sitting side-saddle on her broomstick.

“Halo Team runway clearance granted, you may take off when ready,” a voice stated from Marisa’s headset. The five pegasi took off at a sprint. They heard a woosh, before viewing Marisa taking off at high speed before them. The Halo pegasi jumped into the air, allowing their wings to stretch into flight position. The pegasi caught up with the witch.

“Kirisame, slow down. We’re leading you, remember,” Halo One ordered. “Now, the target was spotted on radar a few miles east of Ponyville-”

“Pony-what?” Marisa stifled a laugh. “Real subtle!”

“Uh huh.”

“Marisa, this is Spirit Eye,” the headphones crackled with a female voice. “I’m your primary support on this mission. For the purposes of this mission, you will be assigned a call sign.”

“Assigned a what?”

“Your callsign is Pixy, we will refer to you by this name at all times. You are now under my direct command.”

“Pixy? Seriously!?” Marisa responded, half-insulted and half-amused. “Fine, whatever.”

---

The devil looked up into the skies before grimacing. It was those horses again. Ever since last night, she had been effectively grounded. While ground units were not forthcoming, it was still extremely annoying to have been hunted by little more than animals. She was a demon on the run from mere animals. She counted herself lucky that nobody was around to witness this.

Focusing into the sky again, she noticed the five enemies suddenly begin ascent, as a sixth enemy flier slowed down.

The devil shook her head and facepalmed. It was that damned thief whose only purpose was to make her job that much harder. She considered her options, before jumping up and taking flight.

“Welp, there it is!” Marisa called out, before focusing closer on the target. “Wait, isn’t that...that’s what’s-her-face...”

The devil stared at Marisa. Not only does the thief make her job harder, but she couldn’t even be decent enough to remember her name?!

“My name is Koakuma, thief!”

“Ah yeah! Look, no hard feelings, money is tight, and your security system sucks,” Marisa stated. “I mean, your security system must be trying to distract me with tea because I always get a cup. Or three.”

“...Are you serious. Nobody told me that was happening,” Koakuma replied, shaking her head, mindful of the circling squadron. “So what brings you to Horseland? Did they give you trouble too?”

“Yeah, but we worked it out. I just gotta take you down and they’ll let me home,” Marisa explained. “It’s all good.”

“You’re working with them!? So not only are you a thief, but you’re an honourless mercenary!”

“Damn, you’re slow. Everybody else in Gensokyo worked that out a long time ago,” Marisa responded.

“Look, if you’re here to kill me on behalf of your new masters, then I’m afraid we’re gonna have problems,” Koakuma warned, a red aura appearing around her.

“Nobody said I was here to kill you,” Marisa replied. “In fact, if you surrender now, then we can avoid a whole lot of trouble.”

Koakuma looked at the circling enemies, like vultures waiting for someone to die. “...Why should I surrender?”

“Well, dudes with missiles,” Marisa pointed out the Halo team. “Look, even if you beat me, they’ll only kill you. And I don’t want to go back to Patchy to explain her only child was blown to pieces!”

“...Where did you get that ‘child’ thing from?” Koakuma asked, concerned that Marisa had legitimately gone insane. “Never mind. If you want me to come with you, then you’ve gotta catch me first!”

Marisa stared at the devil.

“...Really.”

Koakuma took off at a quick pace. Marisa shook her head and began pursuit. The devil began laughing, before looking to her right.

“You didn’t think this through well, did you?” Marisa mocked, before grabbing the devil in a chokehold. “Don’t let the outfit fool you - I’m literally the most aerodynamic woman in the world.”

“It’s a wonder how you fly so well with such a fat head!” Koakuma yelled out from the grapple. “Truly, you defy the laws of physics!”

“I’m a human flying on a broomstick, when has anything like “the laws of physics” ever been a concern?” Marisa asked. She grabbed the devil’s arm and began flying back the way she came.

“You have the target?” Spirit Eye asked.

“Yeah, she’s not too happy, but she basically gave up without much trouble,” Marisa reported, looking at Koakuma pouting in defeat. “...Aww, don’t do that. You’ll make me feel bad.”

“Good.”

“Do you want to stop for ice cream?” Marisa asked, descending towards the nearest settlement.

“...A little,” Koakuma admitted.

“Pixy, where are you going?” Halo One questioned, watching the strange being descend towards Ponyville, dragging another strange being behind her.

“I’m gonna go get ice cream. Give me about ten minutes,” Marisa responded.

“Pixy, turn back immediately!” Spirit Eye ordered.

“Calm down, I’ll only be ten minutes!” Marisa responded. She scanned the town over, before landing in front of a pink building. She pushed the door open, checking if Koakuma was still following. Ignoring the angry orders of her immediate superiors, the witch leaned on the counter before a short, fat pony with a pink beehive.

“You sell ice cream?” Marisa asked.

“...What flavour?” the pony asked, stunned at the being - It was certainly not a species she had ever seen before, and non-ponies were very rare in this town.

“Uhh, I’ll have strawberry. Koa, what do you want?”

“Vanilla.”

“Tub or cone?” the pony asked.

“Eh, tubs,” Marisa said. The pony picked up a scoop with her mouth, before scooping the ice creams into two tubs. Marisa watched the display, wondering what civilised society would allow such an act to be acceptable in food service - If she used her mouth in a food service business, she'd be fired. Or be working in a very seedy establishment. Neither sounded appealing.

“That will be three bits,” the pony asked. Marisa handed the vanilla ice cream to Koakuma before rifling through her pocket. She dropped a pair of coins on the table. The pony stared at them, before staring at Marisa.

“...This isn’t legal tender.”

“Oh...” Marisa scratched the back of her head awkwardly. She looked at Koakuma licking the ice cream, before turning back to the shopkeeper and scooping the coins back into her pocket. “Well...I’m just borrowing this ice cream until I die!”

Marisa grabbed the devil and her ice cream and took off at a sprint out of the shop. Now dealing with both Spirit Eye and an angry shopkeeper yelling at her, she took to the sky once again. She finally found a break in the constant yelling of her superior officer.

“I wasn’t even five minutes, quit your bitching,” Marisa complained. She turned to Koakuma, wiping her mouth with her sleeve. “See, now don’t say I never get you anything nice.”

---

“What, I got your target!” Marisa protested, watching the iron door of her basic concrete cell slam shut. “Come on!”

“You defied direct and lawful orders,” Holdt called out from the other side.”As a result, you have lost your Level 2 Residential Privilege until further notice.”

“She wanted ice cream! Have you seen her? How could I say no?” Marisa defended herself. She noticed a second bunk on the comically-small bed. “What, I don’t even get a friend?”

The door opened again. Koakuma shuffled in with her eyes on the ground, before looking up and noticing Marisa.

“...Oh come on, really?!” Koakuma protested at the captain behind her. “I’m pretty sure this is illegal.”

The captain ignored her and slammed the door shut again. Marisa and Koakuma stared at each other for a few minutes, a look of righteous indignation on the witch, and a look of utter resignation to a terrible fate on the devil.

Mostly, Koakuma wondered what insanity allowed a prisoner in the same cell alone with her capturer. A capturer she has previous history with. It wasn't like the horses didn't know, as Koakuma had briefed them in length about Marisa and her various bad habits.

“...I call top bunk,” Marisa declared, scrambling to the bed before Koakuma could protest.

Author's Note:

Without a Patchouli, the common Koakuma must find other book-obsessed nerds to associate with, in order to provide the Koakuma with sustenance. However, Marisa is the only one available. This kills the Koakuma.

Comments

[nighters]

so there just gathering up anything that strange and biped? kind of xeno.

[B-Navigator]

And of course Equestria's doom will come on the day someone proposes a friendly game of soccer.