Princess Celestia swoons for you, her noble "pet". As you're a handsome creature from another land, she takes you into her personal care for "research" purposes. However, how much does the zoophilic Goddess know of your own k
Almost from the get-go we get another hint of the protagonist's (henceforth to be named: Manon) plans, which puts it on a sinister level.
I know I'm going to sound like a broken record, but this has a very distinct 80's esque feel to it. The names of the various 'wenches' he's bedded are almost word for word what I could find in old D&D style campaigns: Queen of Wolves, Virgin Priestess of the meadows, Duchess of anything. It's also a really good mirror of Altquestria's mane six that took me a few seconds to wrap my head around (I only picked up on it at purple-hair).
On one hand it's a breath of fresh air for me, as a reader to 'walk in his shoes', but at the same time not actually empathize or even strictly relate to Manon. I'll deal with it later in the summery.
Literary it's a really strange feeling mix in places, the use of “!!!” along with the activity indicators kiss-kiss that feels strangely out-of-place with the more vocal usages of vocalized exchanges: IE “Nnngghhh....my Liege...” I can get by the odd 'kiss-kiss' one in the first one because it feels demonstrably diminutive, like me saying 'up-up' to a Pomeranian to jump on the couch. In that sense it's a clever degradation, but in continual usage or activity place holders it clashes with the rest of the written style which is, otherwise, delightfully detail oriented.
I won't mention the vocalization indicator split, it has been by others already, but I started to feel it a little more here than I did in chapter 1 (maybe because I was looking for it now). I'm not going to be some grammar-Obershutzte, there was a > which was supremely distracting, rest is pertaining to style so I don't have problems with it.
What I am liking is Celestia's cautious with herself, but more overt behaviour to naturalize her subjects to you while not overtly taking the chances herself. I'm not sure if it's clever of her or not. The worry of pregnancy is an interesting one from her perspective while Manon is concerned with manipulating Celestia's moods. It's playing with an interesting sense of duality.
I like it because it feels closer to how Equestria has treated pets, in particular Celestia, and less how humans do. This isn't some slander or the like, it's strictly that Equestria's pets are sapient: Angel and Owlicious certainly but Philomina fits that group too. I was kind of hoping to have that covered too, as she is Celestia's pet as well Manon is clearly an animal to her, but that doesn't mean it's unthinking, dull, or lacking guile. They really just seem to lack the same respectabilities, faculties, or percieved maturity that ponies do which brings to mind all sorts of internal debates .
What it does mean is that he belongs to her, and she still expects subordinates to bend to her whims. But it's also starting to show an emerging partner relationship tool. Part of it also seems to be uncertainty on her part, the ellipsis show that hesitation in a stuttering way. Literary wise it works. After all, it's affecting a halting pause on her language so she seems to be thinking about this all too. Manon seems to really know the same thing too so the cleverness in pregnancy feels more sinister than appreciative. I like it, really do .
I'm the only one in the comments sugarcube
well that was pretty good
My reaction: 24.media.tumblr.com/8c9e18bdfb8afcaa7962c3dcde496448/tumblr_msf0buOmgC1rj4ynoo1_500.png
4030859 the latter
TALK GOD DAME IT!!!!!
And the shame boner strikes again.
Picturing the human as Nicolas cage.
4035928
4035928 Your profile pic is from my favorite creepypasta.
4030859 you should feel both
>DIR/W
>C://Notporn/RunningCommentary.exe)
Chapter 2: (because why not...)
Almost from the get-go we get another hint of the protagonist's (henceforth to be named: Manon) plans, which puts it on a sinister level.
I know I'm going to sound like a broken record, but this has a very distinct 80's esque feel to it. The names of the various 'wenches' he's bedded are almost word for word what I could find in old D&D style campaigns: Queen of Wolves, Virgin Priestess of the meadows, Duchess of anything. It's also a really good mirror of Altquestria's mane six that took me a few seconds to wrap my head around (I only picked up on it at purple-hair).
On one hand it's a breath of fresh air for me, as a reader to 'walk in his shoes', but at the same time not actually empathize or even strictly relate to Manon. I'll deal with it later in the summery.
Literary it's a really strange feeling mix in places, the use of “!!!” along with the activity indicators kiss-kiss that feels strangely out-of-place with the more vocal usages of vocalized exchanges: IE “Nnngghhh....my Liege...” I can get by the odd 'kiss-kiss' one in the first one because it feels demonstrably diminutive, like me saying 'up-up' to a Pomeranian to jump on the couch. In that sense it's a clever degradation, but in continual usage or activity place holders it clashes with the rest of the written style which is, otherwise, delightfully detail oriented.
I won't mention the vocalization indicator split, it has been by others already, but I started to feel it a little more here than I did in chapter 1 (maybe because I was looking for it now). I'm not going to be some grammar-Obershutzte, there was a > which was supremely distracting, rest is pertaining to style so I don't have problems with it.
What I am liking is Celestia's cautious with herself, but more overt behaviour to naturalize her subjects to you while not overtly taking the chances herself. I'm not sure if it's clever of her or not. The worry of pregnancy is an interesting one from her perspective while Manon is concerned with manipulating Celestia's moods. It's playing with an interesting sense of duality.
I like it because it feels closer to how Equestria has treated pets, in particular Celestia, and less how humans do. This isn't some slander or the like, it's strictly that Equestria's pets are sapient: Angel and Owlicious certainly but Philomina fits that group too. I was kind of hoping to have that covered too, as she is Celestia's pet as well Manon is clearly an animal to her, but that doesn't mean it's unthinking, dull, or lacking guile. They really just seem to lack the same respectabilities, faculties, or percieved maturity that ponies do which brings to mind all sorts of internal debates .
What it does mean is that he belongs to her, and she still expects subordinates to bend to her whims. But it's also starting to show an emerging partner relationship tool. Part of it also seems to be uncertainty on her part, the ellipsis show that hesitation in a stuttering way. Literary wise it works. After all, it's affecting a halting pause on her language so she seems to be thinking about this all too. Manon seems to really know the same thing too so the cleverness in pregnancy feels more sinister than appreciative. I like it, really do .
>Ya dun goof'd
Why is he not defending himself?
Allahu Akbar