All American Girl: Konsequences

by Deverer

V

Time was slowing down again as the two were standing around waiting. Their cars weren’t far behind, but they couldn’t come soon enough – at least it would give them someplace to sit! In the meantime Karl decided to take in more of the house.

If the pictures from before didn’t show it, it definitely looked like a rustic country home. At least there was an outdoor garage of sorts where they could put their cars, probably used for carts and such. Which probably explained why there was a firewood holder on the side near the front door. If it wasn’t for the fact that there was actual shingling on the roof instead of the straw, or hay, or whatever-it-was on the other houses he saw he’d probably forget he was about five minutes from one of Equestria’s cities.

‘City,’ he scoffed. If that’s a city, then I’m gonna adopt in the near futur— he flinched at that thought, cursing at himself. He really didn’t need to be reminded of that, even if it was still nearly a year away. Looking over to Karyn, who was leaning against a nearby tree, he wondered how she was doing in regards to that. There wasn’t any signs yet, but was that due to her hiding them?

“Are ya doing okay?” he called, while stepping toward her.

She looked up from her slump. “Still breathing, still haven’t gone insane yet, I miss Obā-sama and the family already….” As he got next to her, a smile formed. “Still got you though, so it’s worth it.”

“Anything else on yaur mind?” When she gave a shrug, he shook his head slightly. “Karyn, I know ya don’t want to acknowledge it, but how are ya holding up with Ponyville here?”

“Feels like a backwater compared to home,” she spat. “I’m really hoping we can find something modern here.” With a wave of her hoof she pointed out the area, “Though I gotta say this isolation is fucking perfect. Just far enough away from the path even.”

“Focus on that then,” he reassured, slinking under her foreleg and smiling up to her. “I checked and we still have an internet signal out here too.”

She pulled him close, placing him right on her front. “Color me actually surprised then.” They both stared at each other for a moment, before they relaxed into a hug.

“We’ll get through this,” he whispered. “We’re gonna have our happy ending, and not even the fucking universe will—”

“OH MY GOODNESS!” Both of them jumped at the scream, unraveling from each other and turning to face the source. Not far away, they saw an earth pony mare staring there with the widest smile both had ever seen.

She was pink; like cotton candy, bubble gum, and taffy had blasted her at full force. The way her mane and tail was a curly mess gave credibility to perhaps that being what had happened.

Karl was staring in shock in confusion, while Karyn was looking in fear.

“Helloooo!” she sang, waving widely. “How are you doing? Doing fine? I’m certainly doing great! I mean, I was just sitting there getting ready to go help Bubble and Surprise with homework, when my withers started a-twitching!” She crouched down on her front legs, her back arching up slightly as she gave it a quick shake. Karl himself just continued to stare dumbfounded. “I knew right there that I had forgotten something extremely important! Like one step below not breaking a Pinkie Promise important! Extra-triple-super-duper important” She stood back up, bringing a forehoof up and outwards. “But now I’m here! And I find that we got some special new arrivals to Ponyville!”

One blink was all Karl could respond with at first. As the silence continued, he managed to push out, “Uh—”

“I mean, I don’t think there’s a pony-human couple here in Ponyville!” She dropped to her haunches, one forehoof raised and the other pointing to it like she was counting fingers. “I mean I know quite a few! They’ve been to Equestria here and there! But oh where to start?! There’s….”

Karl pushed her away from his attention as she continued to ramble, looking to Karyn. “What the fuck are we looking at?” he asked.

“Not what, who,” she corrected, still looking forward. “That’s… Pinkie Pie.”

“Pinkie Pie— oh,” he realized. He snapped back to the mare in question, still talking despite them not listening, also now crouched low to the ground. I guess trying to find a number for the police or an asylum is out of the question.

“And also there was that couple that tried to move here but decided on Canterlot, so yep!” She looked back to them. “You’re officially the first pony-human couple to move in here!” She stood back up straight, forehoof snapping up to them. “It’s nice to meet you! What are your names? Are you just so excited? Any jumpy jackersons here?” Karl and Karyn continued to stare, neither speaking or moving much. Then her smile dropped as fast as a bullet breaking glass. “Oh! Oops!” She snapped herself back, her forehoof that was held out finding itself knocking against her head. “Bad, Pinkie! Bad! Show some restraint!” A deep breath was taken, and also knocking her hoof against her chest. “Right….” she breathed out as she looked back, her eyes and smile not as wide as before. “Let me try this again….” She calmly reached out her forehoof again, not extending to full length. “I’m Pinkie Pie, I’m the owner of this house here. I’m here to help you settle in.”

On instinct Karl’s hand started to extend forward, but he still stared at her unable to process what exactly if this was real. This is supposed to be one of Equestria’s heroes? He thought.

“Oh!” Pinkie chirped, causing Karl to snap back a bit. “Don’t worry, I know all about the customs and stuff! Actually…” She took a step back, Karl just staring once again as she stood up onto her hind legs. “Here, this better?” Before Karl could answer, Pinkie immediately dropped back onto all fours, a blush appearing. “Oh! No! Wait! I don’t have clothes on! Oh, dangit!” She turned away, and began looking around the area. “I knew I should have had stashed clothing around Ponyville in case of clothing emergencies!”

Karl turned away, clutching his head in thought. Was he going insane or was something messing with him? Long lost queens, ancient magic, immortal beings, and now this? Might as well throw him into the middle of nowhere to start the quest to kill the eldritch abomination to go with the self-fulfilling prophecy. Maybe throw in someone who falls in love with him for no reason. Or multiple someones cause why not?

He glanced up to Karyn, who seemed to be sharing his ire. She looked back, and the face she gave told him that she was expecting this. “It’s okay there, I think we can deal with the no clothes,” she spoke up.

“It’s… fine?” Karl managed to say in agreement. At this point, the fact there wasn’t clothes on her aside from a bag slung around her was probably the most normal thing about her. And at least their fur coats… well he didn’t want to finish that thought.

“Okay then!” Pinkie exclaimed, turning back around. She reached a forehoof out, this time Karl managing to actually connect his hand to it to shake. “Like I said, I’m Pinkie Pie! And you are?”

“K-Karl O’Donnell,” he answered. He tilted his head over, “and my wife, Karyn.” He pulled his hand back, Pinkie’s smile fell as he did so.

“I came on too hard there, huh?” she asked. Karl didn’t respond as she continued with, “It’s been hard to remember to keep my introductions contained.” She crossed her forehooves, looking down toward the ground. Karl couldn’t shake the feeling her mane was straightening out of all things. “Taking on more international responsibilities, becoming the head of my own business chain, becoming a mother…” Her face disappeared behind her mane as she continued to slowly slump down toward the ground. “Past Me realized even before all that just how the world truly wasn’t sunshine and rainbows. I can’t just be Ms. Smiles – now Mrs., actually – all the time; I had to contain my excitement, only letting it out where it truly counts.”

When did this go from awkward from crazy to awkward from melodrama? Karl asked inwardly. Well… if she is the owner here, best try to salvage this… Karl released a cough, before speaking out loud, “It’s… okay?”

Karl jumped as Pinkie snapped her head back up, another wide smile on her face. “Great! So, do you mind telling a few things about yourself? Or do you just want to get this house tour underway?”

Jesus Christ, I think my tongue must be bleeding at this point. At least she admits she has problems, he thought before he said aloud, “I think we’d like to just get inside. Get this over with.” He saw Karyn nod in agreement out of the corner of his eye.

“Alright, shall we?” She started to walk to the front door, though it was more like a bounce.

“Just as insane as I thought….” Karyn whispered as they started to follow. As they got up to the door, he saw that Pinkie had fished out a set of keys and was opening the door – or doors since it was a two-piece door. Two clicks of the locks later, she opened both sections and she waved the two inside. “Actually, maybe I should wait out here. In case they come with our stuff,” Karyn spoke up.

Karl turned himself around. “Are ya sure?” he asked.

“We have to, don’t we?” She leaned in closer to him. “That and… I just don’t want to be near her.” When he shot her an odd look, she knelt to his level. “We can talk later about it,” she added.

“...whatever makes ya feel better,” he reassured, giving her a quick peck on the cheek. She gave a nod and stepped back out to the front yard, while he turned to step inside to join Pinkie.

Right away it looked like they were in the living room. There was a fireplace just in front of them on the left wall with a doorway on the immediate left which showed the stairs to the second floor in that room. There was a back door past the fireplace wall which unlike the front door was whole, and there was some chairs that looked like they could easily fit either of them.

“Welcome, welcome, welcome!” Pinkie cheered as she stepped to the center. “Just mind your feet! Don’t want to accidentally trip on anything as you look all around! Though first things first!” She walked over to the back wall, where there was a hatch embedded. “Right here is where your access point can be installed if you need to use the internet!” She pulled the door up, exposing data lines ready to be used.

“How long was this place wired up?” Karl asked.

“Oh, about a few years now. I’ve actually been renovating it here and there due to wear and tear. I mean this whole front part was expanded out a bit, and I even had to replace the whole roof at one point!” she explained, walking to the door on the right.

“And you just own it?” he asked.

“More like I inherited it.” There was a downturn in the cheer of her voice, and she paused just before the door. “The original owners... when they passed on, they left this to me. I was the one who actually managed to reunite them after years of them not seeing each other. It was their last thanks to me.” She looked like she was going to cry, but with a quick shake of her head she brought herself back. “Anyway, that’s just me. But we’re here for you two.” She opened the door to back room, and what Karl saw gave him pause.

Despite the rustic look of the outside of the house and even Ponyville, it looked like they stepped into the modern age. There was tile on the floor, and an actual washer and dryer. Pinkie was commenting some things but it went over his head as he followed her through a door on their left which gave him a glimpse of the stairs before they hung a quick right through another door.

As he refocused he found they were in the dining room and the kitchen with more of that modern look. Three other doors were in here: one on the same wall that they came in from which most likely went to the other side of the staircase, the second right across from them that most likely went outside, and the third was on the right side wall. Karl stepped up to the third, and opened it revealing a bathroom.

His jaw dropped slightly. An actual bathtub, actual toilet, and actual sink. Maybe they were shaped oddly, maybe the shower over the tub itself looked like it should come out of the ceiling instead of on a weird pole; but they were still things he was used to.

“Everything in here is ready to go!” Pinkie continued on, turning his attention back to her. “All hooked up and just needing a dial turned or a button pushed!” As they walked to the far left door, which gave Karl a good look at the equipment here, she pointed up to the top. “Also, smoke and carbon alarms are ready!” she said pointing out one right there.

Damn, and here I thawt this place was gonna be more ancient than Granpap’s house, Karl mused. As they walked through the next door, they were back to the staircase again and he found the room to have a decent foyer look of sorts despite it not being the entrance.

“Normally you would have to watch your head when climbing up these steps on two legs, but this house was built not just for equines!” she said, taking her time to climb up them.

“Kinda why we chose this place,” Karl said, not saying any more for Karyn’s sake as for where that topic would take them. As they got to the landing, he felt a small knot start to form as he realize there was only a door on their immediate right and to the left a small hall with one last door.

“Now there’s a guest bedroom up here as well, but let’s first show you the master bedroom!” She trotted down the hall with Karl following. When she opened the door, Karl was left silent again as he looked, though this time it was along the lines of what he was expecting.

It looked cramped – now coming to the conclusion that the rustic roof shrunk the possible size of the second floor despite remembering from the pictures it didn't apply to the back of the house. The bed was definitely made with ponies – or maybe donkeys – in mind, the desk on one side looked cheap and bulky, and the built in closet looked like an afterthought. At least the windows wouldn't shine the sun on them in the morning and he had to admit that back window had a great view of the backyard and forest beyond.

Pinkie seemed to be getting the hint at his frustration. “Um, yeah… I forgot to keep in mind that when somepony would finally move in that there would be a very, very, very good chance the bed would be a problem.”

Don’t ya mean someone who’s not a pony? Karl drawled in his head. “I think we’ll figure something out.”

“Well you’re free to do what you want with it. I’m sure your wife especially would be annoyed by it.” Karl glared at her, opening his mouth to— “I can tell she’s sensitive about it.”

He nearly bit his tongue upon hearing that. “…do ya?” Admittedly it wasn’t hard to figure out, but then again probably only one percent of the population on both Earths managed to get that through their heads.

“I’ve been around for a while,” she sighed, leaning against the wall. “I’m good at reading a pony’s face when it comes to certain things. The way she’s pouting? When attention is on her? Just seemed like a good hunch.” She ran a hoof through her mane, as if scratching an itch on the top of her head. “You both didn’t seem keen on moving here.”

“We’re… not,” he confirmed.

“It’s none of my business of what’s going on, but…” she trailed off.

“But…?” Karl asked back.

“I can help make it at least a bit more happy. Do you like parties?” she asked.

His face scrunched at the idea. Uh, yeah, terrible idea. It’s also creepy just asking like that. “No, no way,” he blurted out.

Pinkie looked like she had been hit. “What?! How can you—” suddenly a hoof of hers landed her head alongside a groan. “Ugh! I should have guessed! I even just got done about—” She clapped her hooves together, and stretched herself upward as she took a deep breath. As she released it, she looked to Karl with an apologetic look. “I… never took into consideration someone would not want a party.” She pointed to herself. “I have this… thing, where I feel an obligation to help all newcomers to Ponyville here feel welcome here. Usually it’s with welcoming parties.” She waved a hoof around randomly as she explained.

Karl stared dumbfounded, more of her insanity leaking out after she had throttled it back. “What?”

“It’s… not important,” she coughed into her forehoof, Karl getting the idea and deciding not to press. “Anywho, I understand if you want your space. I should have known that especially since we’re here, where the people I helped wanted their space, but I guess some things never go away.”

He felt like his eyes were gonna dry out, but he couldn’t do anything else because his vocal chords didn’t want to form words. God, she’s fucking insane one minute and the next it feels like she’s someone ya wanna give a hug because they’re trying so hard…

The sound of a horn from a truck snapped them both out of their slump. “Whoa!” Pinkie exclaimed, “What was that?”

“Probably the moving people with our stuff,” he guessed. He looked back to her and asked, “We are good to go on that, right?”

“Yeppers! Papers are ready, just need to hand those and the keys over!” she answered, hopping away from the wall. “Did you want to see the guest room? There’s nothing in there but another wall closet though.”

“I’ll be fine, Karyn probably will want me down there to help. Plus I wanna make sure they didn’t mess with anything.” Pinkie nodded, and he fast walked his way out of the house. Looking out to the scene, he saw Karyn chatting with one of the drivers, and also others who were unhooking the chains on their cars. He didn’t miss the fact she was on all fours again, which was starting to bother him.

Karyn’s ear flicked and she turned her head to see him walk over. “Is everything set?” she asked.

“We’re good to go. There’s plenty of room right in front,” he answered, pointing behind him with a thumb.

“Perfect.” She turned back to the driver. “All the boxes can go right in there. Leave the motorcycle with the cars.”

“Yes ma’am,” the driver replied. He turned and trotted back to the others, barking out orders.

“Are ya okay?” Karl asked Karyn. “Ya look more wrong than before.”

She looked to him with a raised eyebrow. “I… what do you mean?”

“Karyn, when we can: we need to tawlk.” He knelt down toward her ear. “A lot more is bothering ya than ya’re telling me,” he whispered. They watched as their cars were brought to ground level, and after quickly unlocked the doors the ponies began to get to work. Karl paid attention to how each one did so: how the pegasus seemed to make each box weightless to carry by a single hoof, the earth ponies stacking them on their back without breaking a sweat, and of course the unicorns trotting along with some in telekinesis. Just a reminder to not piss off the locals… if I can help it.

“Okay then,” Pinkie spoke, as she walked back up to them. “So I think everything is in order. We talked the logistics on the phone before, so all that’s left is the final send off.” Both of them didn’t reply to her remark as she produced a ring of keys and a stack of papers. “Do you two need anything else?”

On the phone? Karl questioned. Guess Emmé passed herself off as one of us, he concluded. “Is there a furniture store ya recommend?” he asked aloud.

“Oh, easy! Stationery and Furniture right on Mane Street! Just look for the sign of a quill and sofa!” She beamed a bright smile to them, though they both remained quiet. “Right, right,” she moved on. “Well… here you go!” Stretching out her forelegs, she held out the keys and papers to them.

Karl took them from her, holding them outstretched himself for a moment before he brought his arms down. “Thank… ya,” he muttered.

Her smile was noticeably dropping, and she sighed. “At the very least… I hope you two are happy together.”

God damnit, stop stepping on my heart! “Look, I’m sorry it’s just—”

“Ah, ah, ah!” she tutted. “No need! Not my business to know!” She flicked her mane out of her eyes, smile somewhat returning. “Though if you ever need somepony to talk to, I’m here or anypony else here!”

“We’ll keep that in mind,” he responded.

“Have a good one!” she said with a salute, starting to trot off.

“Ya too.” They watched her start to walk off, both staying on her until she out of view. Karl’s eyes rolled up to the sky, What the fuck is she? he thought as he did so.

“Can we go inside please?” Karyn asked. “I need to fucking sit somewhere.”

“Same here,” he agreed. They both made their way inside, steering clear of the moving ponies as they still did their work, the pile of boxes stacked up on the right side. Both sat themselves in the chairs next to the table, Karl grunting a bit as the cushioning betrayed how soft it looked. If Karyn felt it she didn’t show it as she sat.

“Well, the pink maniac aside, that was less painful than I believed it would be,” Karyn mumbled.

“How the fuck is she a national hero?” he asked, keeping his voice down in case any of the mover ponies might find offense to that. “I mean, really? She’s like she’s living on a third world!”

“I… do have to admit one thing though. As schizophrenic as I thought she would be, I didn’t expect one of those moods of hers to have empathy or understanding.” She began to rub her forehead. “But fuck me, literally not even an hour into Ponyville and we run into one of the Knights Elemental…”

“It’s probably just a freak coincidence,” Karl suggested. “And honestly this place isn’t as big as I’ve heard of.”

“When it comes to those mares and this town?” She looked to him directly. “Don’t expect any coincidence to be just that. I mean this house? Seems way too easy we got a place like this.”

“Karyn, please don’t tell me this is ya thinking this Curse thing is real,” Karl groaned.

“So far it seems like it’s a rumor becoming too real.” She looked to see the driver from before walk up to them, holding their keys.

“Everything’s unloaded as you wanted,” he said, handing Karyn the keys. “Enjoy your day then.” He tipped his cap and he walked out of the door. A few moments later the sound of the trucks coming to life sounded, signaling their departure.

Karyn stood himself up, stretching his limbs. “Well… I dunno about ya, but I think I’m gonna head into town.”

“Wait, already?” She pushed herself to the edge of her seat. “Why though?”

“Well so I have something for dinner for us. Plus maybe see if I can find the places we need to goto for the rest of the papers we need to do,” he brought up. “Do ya need me around for the unpacking?”

“Well, no but... “ she sighed, shaking her head. “You know what? It’s just me. Just the idea of going into Ponyville….”

Karl stood up from his seat, walking over and embracing her. “We’ll get through this,” he reminded her. Don’t go insane on me, Karyn. Bad enough with what we’ve learned. As he broke away, he added, “Maybe ya should rest up. I’ll be back later with some food and to help with the boxes.”

“Okay… okay,” she agreed. “Just… try to be careful. Not with getting hurt, but what you might run into.”

“No guarantees, Karyn.”

“That’s what’s worries me.” Handing him a house key, Karl gave her a quick kiss before he walked to the front door.

When he opened it up, he nearly swore upon seeing Emmé stand there.

“Well, looks like you guys made it in one piece,” she said. Her arms were crossed, and the small smirk on her face looking nothing but condescending to Karl.

“Where have ya been?” he asked. Then again wish ya stayed outta this.

“Watching from a distance, making sure that nothing goes wrong,” she explained. “Since nothing did, just thought I’d pop in to update you.”

“Well ya popped in, and we’re okay now,” Karl seethed, glaring at her.

“Maybe, but….” she started to glare back at him. “I’m here to make sure there’s no complications. I don’t know pony society that well, so you never know what may pop up. Especially when the foal comes around.”

“It’s a year from now, we’ll worry about that later.”

Emmé rolled her eyes as she dropped her arms to her sides, seemingly as a show of backing off. “Well you got a number to call me on if an emergency pops up.” She glanced to Karyn as she said, “That includes some of your issues. You have a good day then.” With a snap of her fingers, she winked out of existence.

“Banshee,” Karl cursed, rubbing his eyes. He looked back to Karyn as he added, “The less I see of her, the better.”

“Agreed.”

---

Karl hummed quietly as he start to approach the Ponyville outskirts. Trees were quickly becoming less and less, and he saw the road up ahead was turning from dirt to whatever kind of hard rock or substance that was ahead. It certainly wasn’t asphalt. Perhaps some kind of medieval rock that he couldn’t recall the name of and was most likely there.

The fact that Alter-Earth had a lot of parallel names to Human-Earth locations both real and fictional gave him confidence in that. Though a lot of those fictional places probably weren’t now that he thought of it. With a Canterlot here, was there actually a Camelot? A King Arthur and Merlin?

He forced that theory out of his mind as he saw he was starting to cross into Ponyville. It looked like he stepped back in time now as he saw the buildings with straw roofs and the lack of road markers.

Then, of course, there was the residents. “Ponyville” might be a lazy name but it seemed appropriate as he saw nothing but ponies on the ride to the house.

Said residents he was starting to see trickle into his field of vision as he passed through more streets. And that feeling he stepped through time as well as across worlds came about even more has he saw wooden carts being pulled by a few.

Passing by some of them, he kept his head held high as he trekked along. Although he could feel sweat start to form as the continued fact that none of them wore any clothes kept being presented to him.

“Oh my, is that one new in town?”

Karl didn't react outwardly, instead keeping himself walking forward as he managed to hear that. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the one, a mare, pointing toward him whispering to another mare. Also doing a bad job of hiding that she was doing so. Then again, he was technically… “unique” now.

“Is it? I can't tell. You don’t see many of them around here.”

Karl decided to slowly glance to them over his shoulder, watching them jump and pretend they weren't doing anything. Just for good measure he glanced over his other shoulder to make it look like he was looking around.

So it's gonna be one of those places huh? Or am I just unlucky… again? he thought, not slowing himself down.

Landmarks, he realized, weren't making themselves known so far. Perhaps if one counted the occasional shop sign with a simple picture or the street names, but even when he took a turn that wouldn't get him closer to the center he still didn't find anything that would stand out yet.

What he did find were more whispers that he overheard about him, along with some ponies even not hiding they were looking at him. No, more like actually stopping what they were doing to stare at him like some kind of car crash that just happened.

So if they were gonna stare at him, he might as well stare back. Which he swore some of them actually yelped a bit at.

Shaking it off, he turned his attention back to his journey. He probably should have pulled up a map but he decided at this point to perhaps keep his attention on the people around him.

Such as the big, red stallion who was trotting out of a side street not looking to him and who he was about to crash into.

“Whoa! Whoa!” Karl yelled, almost tripping forward as he stopped in his tracks.

“Oh mah stars!” the stallion replied, swinging his attention to Karl and jumping a bit himself. Both of them stared at each other for a few seconds, breathing heavily. Karl opened his mouth to yell, but the stallion beat him to it as he said, “Ah apologize fer that. Ah wasn't watchin’ where Ah was goin’.”

And Karl clamped his jaw shut, almost biting his tongue. Someone with actual respect here? He took a slow breath in to calm himself, but he noticed something behind the stallion. It was yellow topped, but a brown color presented itself as it moved into view.

Those colors became pony shaped as he saw a filly peeking her head out from behind the stallion, looking to Karl. The first thing he noticed was that she was shaking in what looked like abject fear.

“OhmygoodnessI’msorry!” she squeaked out, suddenly then dashing back into the street they came from.

The stallion went wide eyed and turned around. “Cinnamon!” he yelled, galloping after her.

Karl stood there slack jawed. What… the fuck? He looked after them, watching the filly duck into an alley, and the stallion following. Shaking himself back to reality, he pulled his phone out. Alright, let's just get this shit over with then. Might as well get started in finding a new job.

---

Karyn laid down on the upstairs bed trying to get comfortable, but she couldn't relax. Not just because it was too small for her and felt like a rock, but she still couldn't let go of the fact that she was in Ponyville.

She tried to bury herself in some work to get her mind off: moving the cars into the “garage,” unpacking some linens and even thinking to give this place a quick dusting before realizing there was probably a spell on the house to prevent that at the moment given how clean it seemed. She could have maybe moved their proper bed up here but she decided that was a bit too much.

Well… she could if she used—

No, no, no! she quickly shot down, giving a shudder. She was not going to use that. Her own telekinesis was enough. She just had to concentrate. Plus now that she was around magic again it would—

She groaned, rolling over and letting her hind legs lay off the edge of the bed. Another thing to remind her she was where she was. Admittedly it made walking easier, and perhaps it would give more of a reason to not use…

She sat up, snorting another puff of frustration as she angrily made her way out of the house. She wasn't going to let the universe do this to her again. She wouldn't break, being in Ponyville wasn't going to break her. Slamming and locking the door behind her, she began to trek into town.

---

Karl kept a growl in his throat as he exited probably the tenth store that he happened to find hiring. Three were out of his expertise, one he literally couldn't do which was expected.

The others though? ‘Sorry we’ve decided we’re not hiring now’, ‘You're too tall for this’, ‘we can't have hands handling our products’, ‘this is a civil environment’, ‘I-I meant hooves on work as in literally’!

His favorite though had to be the one he was making sure he kept on his ‘shitbag’ list: ‘you monsters took the Lost Foal, what makes you think I'll give you a job?’

Well since I'm a monster, how about I rip out yaur heart and show it to ya with my arm going through yaur back? he echoed in his head. The look of horror on the living trash’s face almost made him crack a smile as he stormed off. He wasn’t a monster… he wasn’t… Not a fucking monster... He blinked away the thought, taking note everyone was giving him a wide berth as he stormed down the road.

Which wasn’t surprising, all things considered. So far this town hadn't given him much reason to let anyone get near him and get their business involved with his. Only a few people here had even given him a simple greeting.

And the fact the ‘good afternoons’ went to ‘good evenings’ just before this cued him into how long he'd been out. And so far… he miraculously didn't feel exhausted yet. Well he worked up a sweat, but with the time passage and the surprising amount of places he'd been to…

Just how much am I not a normal human anymore? he wondered. He decided perhaps he should maybe just find a grocery store of some sort and head back. Looking up to the sky above, it had definitely started to turn to night, and he didn't exactly wanna be out here alone.

Then again, he was sure a good eighty percent of this place didn't want to be alone with him.

Out of the corner of his eye he spotted the next street sign: Mane Street. Oh are ya fucking kiddi— he shook off the observation. Turning to follow it, he paused in place at the sight in front of him.

He remembered seeing the tree before, but looking at it this close was a whole other story. It looked like it was actually a building, three or four stories maybe, and the area it was in was like one big plaza. Said plaza he found cars, actual cars, both parked in various places and a couple being driven on the far side.

“Well damn,” he merely said. Looking both ways, he hurried himself across toward the center. Crossing by the parking lot in front of the tree, he made sure he was on the right track to at least one place he wanted to know where it was. With a street like this, there had to be one place that had food.

The sound of a door opening caught his attention, and he turned to the tree found a unicorn stepping out of it. Blonde hair, pink coat, and that was all he took note of before he turned his attention back forward. He had enough on his mind, didn't need to get caught up with trying to—

The sound of hoofsteps next to him cause him to snap his attention down, seeing that very unicorn trotting next to him.

“Well, hello there!” she sang. “You look new in town!”

“Uh… hi?” he replied. “I am.”

“What brings you here to Ponyville?”

Oh come on… “Moved here,” he answered, keeping his eyes off her.

“Oh really now?” she stepped forward enough for him to see her slightly as they kept walking. “Anyone in your life? A woman?” He saw her wink slightly. “A mare?”

“Alright lemme stop ya there,” he said with a wave of his hand. “I'm married, and even if I wasn't yau’re playing a game faster than ya should be playing and heading straight for rejection.”

“Merde, Karl. Is that how you treat people?”

He stopped in his tracks, with his foot stomping hard that he swore it caused an echo across town. He looked to her in a mix of anger and surprise. “Emmé?!” he yelled.

“Hello to you too,” she replied, evenly. Jaw twitching, he moved to scream again before she cut him off with, “before you ask: I'm here like this doing my own business. Making sure that spell you used gets fixed up by the ones who made it.” She tilted her head back toward the tree. “That's the Mage Guild over there.”

“Well good for ya. Now leave me alone. Have a good day, Emerald Road.” Looking away again, he began to fast walk away from her. God damnitall.

Emmé scoffed, not following him. Toton, using my real name and failing to pronounce it right. Especially when I'm in this pony disguise… unless was he giving me a pony name? Shaking it off, she turned to walk the other way. There was other business she was hoping to get done here.

Karl kept stomping away, only glancing back to see the banshee not following him to his relief. Though now his head was throbbing and he just wanted to get out of here more than ever. He looked around, still seeing more of the same old buildings though now the streets had opened up wide. Though he spotted the store Pinkie had mentioned, and it did in fact have furniture inside from what he could see in the window. Why it also apparently sold office supplies was weird but he pushed that out of his mind as he looked back forward.

Ahead of him, he slowed down to take in the sight of a building and how batshit crazy it looked with its over dramatic sweet treat design. Though sweets meant sugar which he could use at the moment.

Ducking inside the door – a detail he noticed on all these stores whereas the actual houses he’d have to maybe crawl through – the bell rung above him and he looked around the front room. It looked like some cross between a bakery and an actual restaurant. A bakery because of the display of pastries and treats up front, and a restaurant given the tables all strewn about that ready to be waited. Though there wasn’t a soul in sight. Almost closing time?

Walking up to the knee-high counter, he actually had to bend over slightly to ring the lone bell next to the register. When nothing happened after a few moments he tapped it again, still no kind of response. Groaning a bit, he looked at the menu on his left and saw an admittedly extensive list. This place definitely was a full on restaurant given the menu items, though they had some kind of treat twist for the most part. On the corner without tables he found a staircase of all things with a distinct ‘do not enter’ sign there. The colors of the place seemed to keep with the candy theme with a yellow like cake layers on the walls, a cotton candy blue with the floorboards—

He looked down at his feet as he spotted pink and white, seeing two ponies, kids, looking up at him with wide eyes and even wider smiles.

“HI THERE!” they both yelled, causing him to flinch as he swore he felt ringing in his ears.

“How you doing?”

“Are you new in town?”

“You're tall!”

“Really tall for a human!”

“What's it like having hands?”

“What's it like having no fur?”

“Do you like parties?”

Karl wanted to plug his ears against this assault, but he was frozen. This was his true hell. Emmé had killed him by inducing an anger overload and now he was to spend eternity here constantly bombarded with annoying screeching and no sign of the—

“Bubble, Surprise!” a familiar voice sounded from right behind him. “Did you two finish your homework?”

“But Mooom!” they both whined.

“It's somepony new!”

“And a new somepony deserves a nice welcome, welcome, welcome!”

Karl whipped himself around, seeing Pinkie Pie leaning over the counter to look at the living stereo pieces turned up way too high. She was smiling too, though it was more like that familiar ‘you're gonna be in trouble if you don't listen to me’ smile he remembered his mom had.

“Well remember what I said: you can't party until all your homework is done!” Pinkie sang. “That also means trying to give somepony a nice, big, extra-extraordinary un-ordinary welcome, welcome, welcome!”

“Awwww…” they both chorused, in a lot less decibels to Karl's relief. In that cooldown, he managed to hear them start to run off.

“Cmon, Bubble! We gotta tackle that math!”

“It’s in for a real surprise, Surprise!” Karl watched out of the corner of his eye as they scampered off up the stairs. How he didn't hear them before came across his mind, but he was glad he wasn't hearing them now.

“My double bundle of pride and joy,” Pinkie spoke. “Bubble Berry and Surprise.”

“Well I hope that's my last surprise, cause I never saw it coming,” Karl replied, also letting out a breath that demanded he take in more oxygen right after.

“I certainly didn't expect to see you again so quick!” she beamed.

“Nor I to ya.”

Her smile dropped. “I'm sorry about them. They're a teeeeeny tiny bit too excited around customers.”

Understatement of all history, he barely kept to himself.

“But let’s not stick to that! You came in here for something delicious, right?” She pushed herself off the counter, clapping her front hooves together before she touched down the floor. “So what can I getcha?”

He looked back at the menu on the left, but just shrugged and answered, “Just a simple chocolate milkshake.” He reached into his pocket, pulling out a few of the bits he got converted and putting them on the counter. “Please,” he quickly added.

“On it!” she chirped, swiping up some of the bits but leaving a couple there. “So what's on your mind? You don't look happy.”

Karl quirked an eyebrow, watching her as she ducked into a door behind her really quick and coming back out with milk balanced on her back. “I normally don't look happy even when I am,” he snarked.

“Oh I can see it though!” she said over her shoulder. “I've seen plenty of ponies who try to hide it!”

His eyebrows went to crossed as he said, “well I'm not a freaking pony, if ya couldn't tell.” And he felt his stomach lurch as he remembered who this was exactly.

“Oh, right! Wrong vocabulary!” she said back, to his relief. “I may not know human facial expressions completely yet, but the way you're tensed up all over I think is a good indicator.”

As she started the mixer, he went silent. So far he didn't want to bother with everyone, yet he internally argued that this pissed off look of his maybe made him look like a moron to the non-scumbags here.

When the noise died down, he admitted out loud, “I've running into specist after specist here.”

“WHAT?!” she yelled in response, looking back to him. “Hang on one second there! Ponyville is the nicest, most welcoming delcoming place in all of Equestria!”

“Well I dunno what to tell ya, but that's what's been happening to me.” He raised a finger as he added, “Just me going about my business while walking down the street causes people to turn their heads.”

“But—”

“How about when I tried for the possibility of getting a new job these people kept turning me down just because I'm human? They all didn't say it outright, but I could tell!”

Both of the stared at each other for some stretched out moments. Pinkie sighed and grabbed the mix. “I can't exactly disprove what you're saying, but it's hard to believe you.” She paused in her steps. “But I guess after what happened with DJ—” she stopped what she was saying. “Erwhoops! Wrong thing to think about!”

“What… are ya—”

“Personal! Change the topic!” she moved on, stepping to another station.

“O...kay…” he drawled out. God she's nuts. “So ya rent out houses and own a restaurant?” he asked.

“Just the one house, and it's a restaurant chain!” With a new smile she explained, “Places all over Alter-Earth! Got a second place started up and it’s ran by my last apprentice right here in Ponyville! And I’ve even got one in forty two of the fifty states of America alone!”

“Must be a real hit,” he commented.

“Well… everywhere else,” she admitted. “Business has been slow here lately, I’ve sort of downgraded this place to handle only the occasional sit-downs and pick ups like how it was a bakery before. Haven’t had the need to really get the staff going, or stay open into the night, and I think the second restaurant gets all of the business this one should be getting.”

Gee I wonder why? Such a mystery except the answer just ran upstairs, he thought. I certainly wouldn’t come here to get pestered by them.

“Though at the moment it certainly doesn’t help my sous chef is on vacation and my most recent waitress just broke her leg.” She brought the shake over to him. “Here you go!”

Taking it, he looked her over again. By all rights he should hate her just for how unchained she was. And someone that happy-go-lucky should not even care about him.

But if she was willing to try and listen to him…

“Sounds like I'm not the only one with problems,” he started.

She looked up to him, somber. “I mean between work and the twins, I’m swamped. I can't just let them stay at home alone yet so I gotta bring them here. And my husband’s too busy with the weather.” She gave a shrug of her shoulders. “It wouldn't be that bad if I just had a little bit more help in the meantime and—” she snapped into a new smile, eyes beaming again. “Say… how good are you at cooking?”

Karl almost dropped his drink as he suppressed a flinch. What the shit? “I… do the cooking at home for my wife and I,” he answered.

“Do you have experience working with others in a business?”

“I worked in customer service over a phone.”

“Are you busy tomorrow?”

He looked off to the side for a moment. Granpap always said to never let a golden opportunity slip by, just like when Karyn and I started dating. Though… Karyn's not going to like this. But…. He looked up to the top of the stairs for a split second. Or maybe what we need. Or I'll need for us soon. “I'm open,” he stated looking back to her.

She gave the counter a couple taps with her hoof. “Meet me here tomorrow at seven. An hour before opening.”

He managed to crack a smile. “Ya got it,” he replied. With a quick raise of his drink, he took a sip of his shake. Almost immediately eyes flash open for a moment. “Whoa.”

“Always aim to please!” Pinkie declared, giving a salute.

“Well ya hit the mark. Cya tomorrow.” With that he turned to walk out the door.

“Also! If you need food: keep going down Mane Street! When you see the asphalt roads, make a left! Look for the stores with a red triangle, they sell meat and fish!”

He took one more look at her, giving a nod. Ya know… maybe she's not as nuts as Karyn says.

Continuing to walk along, he kept his head down as ponies were still going about. Sure enough, after quite a few minutes, he found those asphalt roads Pinkie had mentioned. Right away it almost seemed like there was some kind of bubble that seperated where he was walking from and where he was walking to. Taking a left, he looked upward to start looking for his goal - a goal.

Though upon looking up, he realized the whole new world he had stepped into. There were sidewalks, cars, and he even got to see some non-ponies going about! A couple of griffons were sat out front of a restaurant, which caught him off guard. Examining the front, sure enough there was that red triangle.

‘The Meatery’, should keep that in mind for Karyn and I, he noted. As he continued to walk, he bristled upon a pony walking toward him and staring right at him. What the fuck now?

“Evening!” she greeted, almost causing Karl to spit out his drink. “You new in town? Been a while since I’ve seen another human!”

His mind was doing whiplashes back and forth as he contemplated what was going on. Sure he got a couple of non-idiots, but nothing like this! “Just… moved in today…” he answered.

“Hey, welcome! Hope you have some fun around here! You have a good one now!” Karl kept completely silent as she went on her merry way. He blinked multiple times to make sure that what was around him was actually there.

“Why the fuck couldn’t we have gotten this part of town?” he growled under his breath. “Then again, maybe if everything went my way the universe would try to get me in bed with one of those princesses… somehow.” Shaking off that thought, he steadied himself as he pushed on to get this task done.

---

Wrong. It all looked and felt so wrong. The sun was too big in the sky and not as bright as it should be, the colors of everything were too saturated, and the clouds were too low to the ground. And just so much more to Karyn. Like how the trees didn't look nearly as sturdy, the temperature was too mild, and…

Fuck this place. Equestria is still so fake, she uttered in her head. If they could have reasonably lived in a place outside Equestria – like Inari with her family for example – she probably would have jumped on that instead. Contrary to what Equestria taught, the land of the ponies were the ones with the odd weather. The Everfree forest? As natural as Human-Earth and about seventy percent of the rest of Alter-Earth. The only reason it was "scary" was because it prevented weather manipulation over it. Just one of many lies taught and not corrected due to the pride of the nobility.

And still so many others things that her eyes were opened to thanks to science! Heck, even things like magic were mistaught: for example, how Equestria once taught incantations weren’t real but now they’re the basis for the most advanced spells!

After that rambling, she refocused her glare back forward – and quickly realized where her rage had taken her. She was already in Ponyville proper, a good distance that a quick glance over her shoulder confirmed. She saw ponies, ponies all around her.

All of them were staring right at her.

She wasn't even standing on two hooves , but that didn't matter. The typical adult pony even if they were walking Human-Earth style couldn't look her in the eye when she was on four. But here everyone was on four, so they didn't even reach her shoulders – or rather her withers – which made her literally stand out.

Just ignore them… don't let them get to you… she uttered in her head. She kept pushing forward, yet a lot of her wanted her to turn around. But that would be admitting defeat, that would be breaking, that would—

“My word, I thought she was Princess Luna!”

She blinked, some anger rose within her, but also her heart rate was rising. Why the fuck can’t people see I have the wrong mane color?

“What is she wearing?”

Another blink. However, a familiar voice rang in her head.

“What are you wearing?! Is your flank too big now that you have to hide it?”

For a moment, the Ponyville streets looked like the slightly more city ones in South Cloudsdale

“My family wears clothes! I-I just decided to finally start!” she heard a younger her echo.

“I bet you had to make them like that! Or maybe just admit that you made yourself like that cause you're scared of us!”

Her legs started to shake a bit.

“Just admit it, Spirit! You're a big freak, or a big freak!”

She looked around, there was actually ponies following her. She tried to hang her head low, but it didn't make a difference. A ringing was starting to fill her hearing which drowned out the voices of the present around her but the ones in her head kept getting louder.

“Why don't you just take that magic of yours and shrink away?!”

“Maybe you’ll grow so big your fat flank will crush the school!”

“You won’t be a princess just by sizing yourself up!”

“Why don’t you turn yourself back to normal and look us in the eye!”

The ringing was getting louder, and she could feel sweat pouring down the sides of her head.

“You think I'm big?!” her younger self screamed. “Lemme show you!” A flash played in her mind, and the sight of fillies, colts, and even adults looking up at her in fear.

In the real world, she collapsed to her knees, covering her head. “Stop….” she whispered.

This was a mistake. A stupid, idiotic mistake. And she did it without the man she loved to stop her from doing it. One of many reasons why she loved him, because he stopped her from—

“WHAT IN THA HAY IS GOIN’ ON HERE?!” a voice yelled out.

Karyn peaked up. She thought it was Karl at first, but that wasn't his voice she realized.

“Ah thought Ponyville was past all this, but Ah guess Ah was mistakin’!” A hoof stomped into the ground on the last word, one that was colored yellow at the shoe and connected to red fur that ran up the leg.

Oh God, please don't let it be the pony I'm thinking of, she begged. She looked her eyes upward; and her new fear was confirmed as she found that pony she was thinking of: Big Macintosh, husband of Fluttershy. The Curse is real….

“Ya would have thunk that after fifty so on years, this town would have learned ta respect anyone’s space! And Ah can see some o’ yah who’re there back then!” He stomped a hoof again, and his eyes narrowed further.

Why did it have to be one of them out of the thousands of ponies here? Karyn cried on the inside. She looked back to the crowd, seeing them backing off nervously. Actually, fuck it. I'll take even Celestia to get me out of this.

“Well? Are y’all just gonna keep starin’?” he continued. Which did the trick as everyone began to disperse, some going the way Karyn was going before but giving the two a wide berth. “Are yah alright, ma’am?” She snapped back to him as she realized he was talking directly to her. His hoof was even held out to help her up.

Her throat was dry as she forced out, “N-not exactly…” With slight hesitation, she took his hoof and he helped hoist her to her feet. Brushing off her clothes, she looked him over. Bright red, and a goldenrod mane similar to hers albeit with some strands of gray and perhaps a shade lighter. It was him alright.

And of course still not standing up to her eye level. He was close, maybe if he stood in two legs he would actually be there. Though with ponies who had “alicorn bodies” had longer legs, necks, and barrels which compounded how much they stood above everyone else. She just happened to be the one who took that term literally just without the wings to go with her horn.

She had to give him credit that he wasn't showing any sign of being intimidated by her.

“I was an idiot for coming out here,” she confessed. “Just my stubborn pride walking me out here.”

“Ah know how bad pride can be,” he replied. “Seen it do bad thangs t’ good people.”

“‘Pride is a deadly sin’, as humans say.”

“And they're dead on ahbout that.”

“Yeah and—” she shook her head, hoof going to her forehead. “Sorry, but why am I talking about this to you? This is something I should be doing with my husband.”

“Ah can get behind th’ spirit o’ that, but sometahms any ear is better thahn tryin’ ta get back ta that one set.”

She relaxed slightly, giving him another look over. You did help me there… “I can't thank you enough for helping me there. The name’s… Karyn.”

“Pleasure’s all mahn, and ah pleasure ta meet ya.” He nodded his head as he spoke, “Big Macintosh. Though pardon me, but is it just Carin’?”

“It is…” When he kept an eyebrow raised, she clarified, “Spelt with a ‘K’.”

Both his eyebrows went up. “Oh! Ah getcha.”

“I should get out of here. My husband’ll probably be home soon.” She started to turn herself around.

“Ya new in town?”

She stopped, thinking over her next words. I don’t want to talk with any of them… “We are, moved all the way from Human-Earth.”

“Human-Earth now? Mighty— wait a sec.” He raised his hoof, pointing it to her slightly. “Your husband wouldn’t happen ta be a tall guy wearin’ dark clothes? Black hair? Looked like he didn’t want to be noticed in the background even though that hoodie makes him stand out more?”

Karyn’s eyes widened. Holy shit we both bumped into him on the same day? This isn’t normal! “Did he happen to look like he had a permanent scowl? A bit on the slender side?” When he gave a nod as an answer, Karyn reluctantly clarified, “Yeah, that was him.”

“Well butter mah biscuit.” Big Mac shook his head, holding his hoof to his head now. “Look, Ah accidentally gave him ah spook ‘cause Ah wasn’t watchin’ where Ah was goin’. Then mah daughter pulled a mighty rude maneuver and Ah didn’t get a chance to say Ah was sorry.”

Karyn raised an eyebrow. Wait, they have a kid? I heard way differently.

“Ah know we just met, but can yah do me a favor an’ pass off an apology for me?” he asked. “Ah’d do it mahself, but Ah dunno when Ah could do it. It’s either stayin’ on the farm or bringing mah daughter Cinnamon ta or from school.”

“I can do that,” she agreed. “Well if you’re busy, I guess I’ll leave you alone then. Thanks again.” She turned herself around fully, starting to walk away.

“If yah ever need help, mah door’s always open,” he said after her.

She stopped dead in her tracks again, processing what he said. Really? I have Karl to help me with my problems. And also… he might not always be there if he’s going to busy… and Karl can’t help with parenting advice…. She turned her head back to look at him. “I thought you said you were busy though,” she pointed out.

“Ah am, but it doesn’t mean ah can’t talk and manage a farm at the same time.” He chuckled slightly as he added, “Ah may have some bucking power in me still, but a good chunk o’ mah time is spent doing papers and delegatin’.”

“I… see then. I’ll keep it in mind.”

“Yah take care now.” He gave another nod to her, and her turned to walk in the opposite direction.

Karyn resumed her trot, one hoof holding her head. It felt like she was going to have a migraine given all the thoughts clashing in her head. All her worries were laid bare in front of her in just a few minutes, yet some part of her was willing to face it head on and perhaps embrace it?

“Whoa now, what have we got here?”

Her anger flared back up upon hearing that voice. She didn’t know who it was, but she knew that tone. Been a while since I’m come across one of these guys. Wavelength at least had tact. She glared over to see a triplet of stallions, nestled at a corner of a building she just passed and each smiling at her that were just asking to have all their teeth lost. And the way their eyes were half-lidded were begging to have them poked out.

“You’re a real looker now,” one said.

“For a real good reason,” another said.

“And for some real good stallions too,” the third said, whose voice was of the first she heard.

“The only action you guys are gonna get is you running off and leaving me the fuck alone,” she snapped back.

“Hey now! No need for that!”

“Especially that lame human profanity!”

“Why go with humans when you could get it better with a stallion?”

Karyn rolled her eyes. “You guys couldn’t handle a rabbit.”

“You don’t know who we are? Oak?”

“Pine?”

“And Cedar?”

I don’t have time for this. She gave a tap of her ring, “Well you’re out of luck. I’m already taken. So why don’t you go fuck off and fuck a tree?” She began to stomp away, not bothering to keep talking with these losers.

“Really? You’re in bed with a human?”

“Forget them! We’ll give you what you deserve!”

“Why waste that princess body of yours on a monkey?”

Karyn felt her horn spark slightly, and she quickly turned to stomp back up to them. Their smiles dropped immediately as she got close, all of them trying to back away only to back up into the wall they were next to. “A monkey wouldn’t toss you guys around even though you’re pieces of shit,” she growled. “The only thing you guys deserve is a good gelding. You want me to arrange that?” She ignited her magic, letting her horn glow.

One by one each one got back to their feet and took off running, tails actually between their legs. She stood and watched them scamper off, almost tripping and falling a few times before they managed to break line of sight. Snorting loudly, she practically ripped her hooves off the ground to get herself moving back to home finally.

Crowds were one thing, but when it came to a few? She always crushed them.

“Oh my, the Tree Colts actually tried to make a move on her,” a mare watching from a distance spoke.

“Hard to believe those three are their mothers' sons,” another spoke. “No survival instinct instead of too much.”

“Still, I would not want to cross that mare.”

“Oh, there’s more going on than just a bad temper.” Both of them turned to see a unicorn approach them, pink coat and blonde mane. “That mare? There’s a reason for her being a real harridelle. She’s with foal, but not in the way you think….”

---

Karl let out a satisfied breath as he stepped through the door to home, bags in hand. Now he felt like he got a workout. After grabbing some food he’d realize just how far he’d walk: basically the distance to the other side Ponyville and back given all the twists and turns. By the time he got home the sun had just about set, which probably meant he was out for a good four hours or so. He hoped Karyn wasn’t too worried.

Looking around, she wasn’t in the front room waiting. Was she upstairs trying to rest? Then he looked over to the pile of their stuff and noticed a good amount of boxes had been moved around, and also a sizable dent in the amount there were. “Karyn?” he called out. “I’m back!” Quickly stepping through the door to the kitchen area, he dropped the bags on the counter – a counter he realized wasn’t much better sitting just below his waist. Wonder if Pinkie would be okay with us maybe replacing these after a while, better check with her tomorrow.

Getting out the kitchen and toward the stairs, he realized he didn’t hear a response from Karyn yet. As he opened the door to their new bedroom, he finally found her curled up on the too-small-bed staring at her tablet. She took notice of him right away, unfurling herself slightly. “Oh, you’re back!” she exclaimed.

“Ya didn’t hear me?” he asked, stepping in and kneeling down to meet her. Right away they kissed and her foreleg wrapped around his back.

“Too distracted trying to get… distracted,” she explained. “Trying to get my mind settled, and I did something stupid.” When he looked at her with a raised eyebrow, she gave a quick summary of what happened.

“Karyn… are ya okay?” he asked right after she was done.

“I’m starting to be with you here now.”

“I knew you hated crowds, but holy shit to this extent?” He leaned forward and caressed her cheek.

“I just… at least I got it out of the way now, and not later on.” She leaned into his hand, which she gently pushed up to her ear. “Big Macintosh says he’s sorry about his daughter by the way.”

“Wait, that red stallion was the same one you and I saw?” He paused in his embrace as he realized that. “That’s… that’s….”

“The Curse,” she finished for him.

He gave a small roll of his eyes. “Karyn, can we….” he trailed off as he also remembered what he had to tell with his side. “Well, you’re probably not gonna like what I’m gonna say.” He pulled his hand away, taking his eyes off her as they looked to the bedding in front of her.

“Karl… what happened? Did you run into bigoted flankholes?”

“Well yes, but what happened after ya’re not gonna like this.” He took a deep breath, looking her back in the eyes as he admitted, “I bumped into Pinkie Pie again, and she might be offering me a job.”

To say Karyn blanched was an understatement. The colors on her seemed to fade away for a moment and after he blinked his eyes in returned and he swore he saw red on her appear. “...what?” she said, restrained.

“She brought it up after admitting her business was going slow, and I guess she felt some pity for me and came up with an idea,” he rationalized. When Karyn didn’t respond right away, he sighed. “Look, I know it’s a freak coincidence, especially with that Big Mac guy. But how can I turn this down? First day here and I got potential work?” He shifted himself into a more stable stance as he added, “Plus I think she’s genuinely trying to help. Yeah she was batshit insane before, but tawlking with her… it felt like there was more to her. Plus if she was that insanely happy nutcase: why the fuck would she even tawlk with us outside of business?”

Karyn stayed silent. Her eyes boring into him. The idea of him and Pinkie Pie… the prospect of potentially more of them coming into their lives… the Curse….

Yet she relaxed her tight form as he compared his experience to her talk with Big Mac. The fact he didn’t show signs of being intimidated by her, and helping her out….

“I still don’t like it,” she finally said back. “But you’re right when you say it’s just something you can’t turn down.”

“Ya jumped all over yaur dad giving ya connections for yaur art,” he reminded. At that note, her colors seemed to return to her as she gave a small nod of agreement. “But just another thing,” he continued. “Her kids? They’re like if you took that insane side of her, doubled it, hooked it up to stadium speaks in front of 30 megaphones connected to each other and broadcasted it to literally every TV on both Earths.” He shook his head, laughing a bit. “Holy shit I wanna gouge my ears out with them. But if I can tolerate them… I think it’ll help me get ready for the future.”

Her ears flicked upon remembering that detail, and then folded against her head and she turned to look at her stomach. It probably wasn’t visible to others yet, but she could feel it starting to bulge a bit. As if she needed to be even bigger. Even for her she needed to put on some fat for a foal apparently.

“Perhaps,” she merely said.

Karl got to his feet, stretching his arms. “Alright, I’m gonna get cooking. Got some basics for tomorrow, and I got some ground beef for simple burgers tonight. Let’s hope that oven works good enough.”

“Oh, lemme help you get the pans out. I think I remember where it is.” She lifted herself off the bed, stepping down onto the floor on all fours.

Something Karl took note of. “Karyn, are ya sure ya’re fine? Ya’re not… not…” the words were lost to him.

“What?”

“I mean ever since we’ve gotten here, I haven’t gotten to look up at a smile on ya. Instead I keep looking down to ya moping.” He slowly placed a hand on her shoulder. “Can we talk about that?”

She looked up to him for a moment, seeing the worry relaying to her. With a heavy sigh, she stood herself up to two legs and began to hug him close. “It’s just hard having to accept we’re here in Ponyville. And after all the shit that got us here and now what’s happened within one day? I’m just… flustered.” She beamed a big smile down to him as she gave another squeeze. “But with you around, I’m happy. And being here isn’t going to change that.” She released him, stepping back down to all fours. “Though… I have to admit, I’ve always not exactly liked walking on two legs. Especially with these legs of mine.”

Karl said nothing further on that, now probably wasn’t the best time to keep on that topic. He instead opted to follow her downstairs, and watch her as she quickly grabbed a box in her magic and float it over to him. Looking inside, he found their limited cookware. “Perfect. And if this doesn’t work... well I got some cereal and juice,” he said as he grabbed a frying pan.

Karyn meanwhile looked over to their bed, box spring, and the pieces of the bedframe all stacked up against the wall. “We definitely need that set up,” she said, trotting up to it.

“Do ya wanna do that now?” he asked.

“Yeah… I got it.” Before Karl could ask, she lit her horn and all the bed pieces became wrapped in a glow. With a slight but visible wince, she caused them to disappear in a flash.

Though they didn’t disappear. Karl watched with wide eyes as she floated over the now miniaturized bed pieces over to her. Holy shit, was all he could think. The blank look on Karyn’s face signaled him to quickly walk over and give a reassuring pat on her shoulder.

Her response was to lean up and give a slight peck on his neck, both smiling to each other. It was a rough first day, but there was still a lot more to go.

---

The next morning, after an actually nice sleep, Karl walked back into Sugarcube Corner. Unlike yesterday, the streets were relatively scarce and this time he didn’t get anyone who gave him any looks. Though it was still up in the air whether they were just trying to not look at him or they were focused on themselves.

As he walked in, he spotted Pinkie’s kids jumping around and chatting with each other in the middle of the store. When the bell above rung, they stopped immediately and looked at him.

“Ohmygosh you’re back!”

“Hello, hello, hello!”

Karl winced, resisting the urge to bring his hands to plug up his ears. Had to maintain his composure for this.

“Bubble, Surprise!” he heard Pinkie call, who he saw walking down the stairs. “Remember, too much shouting in the morning can make somepony a Meanie McMeanypants!”

Oh thank you Lord, he thought. He watched Pinkie walk up to both of them, bringing them in for a hug who hugged her hard back.

“Didn’t do it yesterday, so lemme introduce you!” Pinkie started. “These are my twins! Bubble Berry…”

“Hiya!” the pink earth colt said, who Karl realized look conveniently too much like Pinkie in color. Though his mane was less curly and more looked like a natural mussy floof.

“...and Surprise!”

“Hello, hello!” the white pegasus filly chirped. Karl noted she took after Pinkie in looks – coloration and wings aside.

“Hey…” Karl greeted, giving a weak wave.

“So what’s it like walking on two legs and not four?” Bubble asked.

“Did we mention you’re really tall?” Surprise followed.

“Now, now my bundles of joy!” Pinkie interjected, giving them a pat on their back. “Karl’s here to see if he can help me out here! You can ask him questions later!”

“I’ll bet they got a lot,” he added. “And if ya think I’m tawll, ya should see my brother.”

The twins perked up at the answer, but Pinkie stepped in, “Okay! Why don’t we head back to the kitchen? I wanna see what you can do!”

“Ooooh! That sounds fun!” Surprise chirped.

“I wanna see a human bake!” Bubble added.

“Well, first we’re gonna see what he likes!” Pinkie told the two. With a gesture of her hoof, she beckoned him to the back. Stepping through to the kitchen, he was surprised to find it a bit more… scaled up compared to the front. The counters seemed just that higher – perhaps to hold equipment inside where there were drawers? At least he wouldn’t be bending over completely to reach them. It looked like an actual restaurant kitchen with all the stoves, an expediter table, and plenty of sinks. One section looked like for the baking and another the normal menu.

Though another question about the makeup of this place came to his mind. “What’s upstairs by the way?” he asked.

“Oh! That’s the residential part of this place! Or former residential I should say!” Pinkie answered. “I used to live up there myself! But once I got married to my Thundie, we realized we needed more space. Especially for these two!”

“It’s fun up there though!” Bubble spoke up.

“We love mom’s old room!” Surprise contributed.

Pinkie clapped her hooves together, snapping the two to attention. “Alright. So, Karl… what are you comfortable cooking right now?”

He blinked, and began to glance around. It wasn’t like it would give him an answer as he didn’t know what she had specifically, but his brain didn’t like to sit still. “Ya got tortillas? Maybe some breakfast quesadillas?”

“Oh, plenty!” Pinkie quickly trotted over to a nearby fridge, opening it up. Passing over ingredients Karl requested after, he positioned himself in front of one of the stoves in the area.

As he worked and talked through what he needed, he noticed out of the corner of his eye the twins watching him. While they were quiet, the way they stared the whole time… it just didn’t feel right. But of course he was not gonna say that out loud even if Pinkie could possibly see that. If she made enough correct hunches so far, who knows how many she could dictate in the future? Hopefully not a certain one, but the idea of being figured out beyond his control was something he hadn’t considered yet.

Minutes later, he set out his creation for Pinkie. Real simple, just cheese with some mixed veggies inside. Granted, he hadn’t the idea to make the “proper” version, but one had to do with what was available. After he cut it up into slices, he served one to Pinkie who immediately took a big bite.

“Whoa, just gonna dig in like that?” he spoke up.

“I watched ya close!” she said after clearing her mouth. “Right timing, right amount of butter on the pan, right temperature… pretty good job!” She gave a nod as she walked over toward a shelf of books on the wall. Stepping onto a stool she reached up and grabbed one, walking back to Karl. “So you can cook, let’s see how you can bake!”

“Ooh, this is gonna be fun!” Bubble chimed in.

“Can we have cupcakes? Pleeeeeeease?” Surprise begged.

Karl felt his stomach drop. Oh this is gonna be hell…

It felt like an hour had passed, and an hour may have had passed given the batches of cupcakes he’d made and presented and how some of the other staff was starting to file in. Right now he was watching his last batch Pinkie had instructed him to prepare, seated on a stool so he could watch it easier along with the clock.

The twins continued to assault his hearing throughout even though the volume in their voices wasn’t high, and in attempts to keep his sanity in tact he’d been asking questions to Pinkie about the business.

While she was keeping up with normal sales and walk-ins, it had been a while since she did a catering or even hosting. Most business had shifted not only toward the other Corner in the more “modern” Ponyville, but also some of her local deals had faltered. Remembering her slip from before, he wondered if it had anything to do with what happened with DJ and her involvement.

He wondered how long he could endure this if the twins kept popping in and out. Some of the staff so far looked like they were visibly annoyed, but apparently the twins rarely went into the kitchen itself during business hours. Outside of that, Pinkie’s husband Thunderlane was seemingly too busy during the week with his job as Weather Manager to help watch over them most of the time.

A ding of the timer brought him out of his thoughts, and went to get his last batch out into the waking world. Bringing it to the counter where the other batches and his audience were, they were all smiling as he set it down.

“I think you can relax, I’ll fix these up!” Pinkie said to him, causing him to look on puzzled.

“Oh… kay… how’s it look?” he asked, flexing his arms. His answer was when she pointed to one of his earlier batches, seeing a good deal of treats taken. If the frosting on the twins’ mouths was any indication: happily scarfed down.

“Some kinks to work out like your organizing and also you pre-prep. However you can’t beat how precise those hands are of yours when compared to hooves!” She trotted around the counter, and he saw quickly she was on her hind hooves with a cupcake in each forehoof. “I think you’ll be a good addition!” She held out one to him, offering it.

“But… what position exactly?” he asked.

“Oh, what we need at the time! The chef on vacation, Vanilla Bean, he floats between being head baker and head chef!” She gave a wink as she declared, “At my businesses, we turn the steady into the dynamic! Anypony has lots of little talents they can contribute! Little sprinkles on their cupcakes of potential!” With a turn of her head, she looked over to one of the ponies on the line, a mare with a off-white coat and purple mane. “Right, Berry Tart?”

“Hmm? Oh! Yeah!” she called. “When I’m not busy making treats, I’m usually called up front to mix up some shakes!”

Pinkie turned back to look at him. “I don’t let any potential go to waste, even if the frosting on a cupcake isn’t that important to others: it is to me. Like any potential my staff can bring.” She held out the cupcake again, but also leaned in to whisper, “Plus I’ve noticed how you’re keeping it safe-for-work around my little chocolate chips, so I think you know how to conduct yourself.”

Karl stood still for a moment, more of that craziness coming out at him. But then again, she was essentially handing him a golden opportunity even if it did seem too convenient and like that Curse thing Karyn mentioned. He pushed that last thought aside as he put on a smile as he accepted the cupcake offered to him. “Well thank ya… boss.”

Comments

[Shinzakura]

9143067

and he's seen all these

...except for the ones I was editing while blindfolded.

[Deverer]

9216263
Do you write blindfolded also? Perhaps upside down and submerged in water too?

[Shinzakura]

9216276
With both hands tied behind my back, no less!

[DDDDDDDDD23]

Im glad someone finally called them out on it.

They probably have a set of background ponies that do the actual jobs of the mane six.
It is funny since it means that Rainbow dash, Applejack are pretty much muchers.

[DDDDDDDDD23]

It is good that they went to Pinkie Pie since her and maybe twilight are the ones that actually built their wealth instead of it being handed to them like the rest.