A nameless human finds himself waking up as a pony in his sleep, believing it to be a dream until Princess Celestia comes along and tells him his purpose. Celestia had grown a bit tired of the letters from the Mane 6, and used a spell to bring someone from another world, to get a different perspective on friendship in Equestria. The pony is more than happy to agree and sets off for Ponyville to make new friends and go on adventures while learning about friendship and whimsy, or at least trying to.
(yes this is a shameless self insert now shut up)
Chapters (4)
Nothing I didn't expect so far; the character representing yourself is aquainting himself with the denizens of Ponyville and befriending the primary cast members. You're doing well at that, and this isn't a boring self-insertion to read, like mine probably is. A piece of advice that could have helped me: Do not wait too much longer to introduce the conflict of the story, if there is one. People get bored of reading about some guy they don't know writing about something that's been re-iterated a thousand times. My story doesn't get interesting at all until the second half of my fifth chapter, and it's cost me dearly; people arn't getting to the meat of the story before they get bored, costing me valuable feedback and readership. All because the first four and a half chapters are introductions that are trope-laden. Good luck, and happy writing. I'll follow it through. P.S. don't say that this is a shameless self-insertion like it's a bad thing. It's probably a pretty good way to practice writing and probably prepares you to write more original works in the future. Not to mention, they're tons of fun to write.
+ 5 Points for Citizen Mane. Also I look forward to more.
I find it hard to really get to grips with this story. Whilst it is well written, and there are no major spelling and/or grammar mistakes to speak of, it just seems like every other HiE fic I've read. You can have my thumbs up for now, but the general feel I get from this story is "Meh".
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Pretty good so far, but don't just stick with the mane as your only friends in the story. Try to insert people like Ditzy Doo or Bon Bon,or even invite OC's to star in the story. Good start so far and aI hope to see more,
Self-insert? So you are just perfect in RL?
it reeks of mary-sueism
sorry
As far as I know, self-inserts are extremely hard to pull off. Even the best writers can make idiots of themselves trying a self-insert. But you, good sir, have done quite well so far. Have a mustache.
Starting to become a little cliche, but still pretty good for a self-insert. Have a mustache.
Well, still not bad, but one way to drag a self-insert down is to have everypony fall in love with your OC. Still, you are right in saying that Spike needs more mustaches. He can borrow mine.
Give more I love this story pleaaaaase
where is the next chapter?