Canterlot Castle Dungeons
6 Hours Into Eternal Night
Rainbow Dash
Cold and wet, those were the sensations that filled Rainbow Dash’s awareness as she awoke.
“Uuugh. Where am I?”
Slowly, Rainbow gathered her hooves under her, a clanking sound echoing in the chamber, only to fall back down as pain filled her right foreleg.
“Aaah!!!”
She looked down in the dim light and saw that her leg was sloppily bandaged and set in a flimsy splint. As the pain receded, she looked around at her surroundings, curious as to where she was since the last thing she remembered had been Nightmare Moon’s magic flashing at her.
It was a cell.
At first glance, she could have imagined that she was at the bottom of an old well. It was cylindrical in shape, and she was laying on the cold and mossy cobblestone at the bottom, and at the top was an iron grate as high up as thirty hooves. A small oil lantern hung above her cell hatch in a chamber or hallway above her. Black steel chains were attached to all four legs and a slightly glowing metal ring surrounded her barrel, pinning her wings to her side.
She couldn’t see anypony else.
“Hello?” She yelled “Is anypony up there?”
Rainbow’s ears twitched as she fervently listened for the smallest of answers to her summons.
“R-Rainbow Dash? I-Is that y-you?” a small and frightened voice called. Rainbow could barely hear the other pony, but the voice was unmistakable.
“Fluttershy!! It’s me! Are you in a cell?”
“I-I think so! But i-it’s so dark in here! I c-can’t see anything!” She wept “I woke up, a-and it’s been dark e-ever since! I b-begged the guards f-for a light but they j-just laugh at m-me!”
Dash could hear her friend weeping, the anguish echoing from cell to cell.
“HEY!” A new and gruff voice shouted. “Quit your crying!” A loud metallic clanging filled the chamber and Fluttershy’s cries cut off suddenly.
Dash perked up and stood on her three good legs to stare up at her cell hatch.
“Let us out!” She yelled, her throat hurting from the dryness clinging to it.
As she looked up at the ceiling, an armored pony came into view.
He was unlike any pegasus she had ever seen! His coat color was a dark grey, with his ears tufted like a feral animal’s, and large bat-like wings protruded from the polished silver armor he wore. His yellow eyes were just like Nightmare Moon’s, slit like a serpent.
Immediately, just from looking at the pony, Dash knew he worked for the black alicorn herself.
“What kind of freak are you? Did Nightmare Moon dig you up from some pit in Tarturus?”
The pony’s eyes narrowed underneath the silver helm and a growl escaped his muzzle, revealing small pearly white fangs in the dimness of the dungeon.
“Silence Prisoner 0001!” he yelled down at her, his enraged shout ringing her ears in the confined space. “What and who I am is no concern of yours. Be grateful that her majesty allows you to live.”
He then turned and disappeared out of sight, his armored hooves clacking in descending noise as he trotted away.
“Come back here you coward! Let me out so I can smash your face in!”
Dash waited and was rewarded with the sound of hooves making its way back to her cell, she looked up and was surprised to see not the guard again, but a different pony, a unicorn, wearing a stained apron and carrying a bucket in his magical grip.
“Feeding time pigs."
To her horror, he upended the bucket and slop rained down on her. Drenching her colorful mane in a putrid collection of rancid leftovers. Rotten vegetables, fruit peppered with worms, and moldy bread mixed in with water drenched her, a putrid smell clinging to her coat..
“Eeeewwww!” she complained, lifting a hoof to clear some of the muck off of her coat. “What is this?”
The unicorn looked down in neutrality and stated plainly, “That’s your meal for the next twelve hours. Enjoy, I picked only the best from the local trash heap.”
Finished speaking, he turned around and Dash shook the muck out as much as she could before rearing back on her rear hooves, dragging the chains with her.
“Let us out! You can’t keep us in here forever! Princess Celestia and the Royal Guards will get you! You hear me!”
Silence.
Dash laid back down on the smelly floor and waited for an answer.
Nothing.
“Stupid guards…stupid unicorn…stupid Nightmare” she muttered quietly to herself. “We’ll get of here, you’ll see.” She promised.
Now all she had to do was figure out where her other four friends were.
It seemed that even here, in the dark depths of the madmare's dungeon, Rainbow Dash was still number one.
Canterlot Castle, Celestia’s Chambers
7 Hours into Eternal Night
Twilight Sparkle
“Twilight! Twilight! You have to wake up!!”
“Nnnnhh…don’t want too…”
“Come on Twiliy! You have to get out of here!”
“Got to…elements…Moon…”
“What’s she talking about?"
“I don’t know Shining! But we have to get her out of here before Nightmare comes back!”
Nightmare? NIGHTMARE!!!
Power, raw power sheared through the room at the speed of light. Magic pulsed ominously as it was channeled through the bejeweled crown on her head. The nightmare was shaking in fear at the might facing her. With this power, Twilight could do anything. The possibilities were endless, the potential was there and it waited for her to make a choice.
Punish, or Heal?
It felt like a test.
Twilight knew she did not command the elements, such deep mechanisms embedded in the world did not answer to a single pony.
But it wanted Twilight to choose, it was giving her the choice.
What should she decide? The alicorn had taken her teacher, tried to kill her, and endangered the world, surely those actions warranted punishment?
And yet…Twilight could see the trembling figure and something rose within her…compassion?...sympathy?...pity? It could have been all of those or none of them.
In that moment, as she towered above the alicorn, Twilight did not see the black specter as an enemy, but instead saw somepony else. A pony that was afraid, and wanted to love and be loved in return.
What would Twilight want, if in Nightmare’s position?
Who was she give judgement?
Twilight made her decision.
The elements would heal, not punish.
Twilight channeled the awesome power given her and extended an olive branch to Nightmare Moon.
Something unexpected happened.
An error?
A correction?
Twilight knew naught which it was.
All she knew was pain as the healing magic slammed back into her own body, the magic inside her warping and twisting into a new shape.
The elements still relayed what they were doing to her, even as her mind began dipping into the realm of dreams.
Heal.
Restore.
The choice was no longer hers.
“Uuggghh, what happened?”
Twilight could feel her eyelids crack open weakly, the sudden influx of light blinding her as she adjusted to her surroundings. She was laying on something soft, and she could see the familiar contours of the castle ceiling, the solid white stone soothing and calm.
Familiar? Solid? Isn’t the Castle of the Two Sisters a crumbling ruin?
“Twilight?” a deep and recognizable voice asked.
Twilight blearily turned her head and the blurry face of her brother, Shining Armor, came into view. As her eyes focused on him, and his figure becoming clearer, she saw that he was nervous and that he had a deep concern for her was written all over his face.
“Shining?” she asked feebly “What are you doing here?”
Another familiar face came within her sight next to Shining, pink and relieved, yet fear underlined her usually happy features.
“Cadence?”
“Twilight! You’re awake! We were so worried!”
Cadence quickly wrapped her in a protective hug, pressing Twilight down into the softness whatever she was laying on. Twilight felt confusion take over her, this wasn’t making any sense.
Shining frowned in bewilderment at her, assessing her last statement.
“What am I doing here?” he asked, his brow creased in concern “That’s what I should be asking you Twiley.”
“What do you mean? Aren’t we in the Everfree Forest?”
“Twilight…you’re in Canterlot Castle.”
“WHAT!” she screamed, attempting to get up but Cadence easily held her down in Twilight’s weakened state.
“Listen to us Twilight!” Cadence demanded, holding Twilight down firmly. “A black alicorn going by the name of Nightmare Moon and an army of lunar pegasi have taken over the castle! We don’t know why you’re here, but you must escape!” The love alicorn said desperately, her face the very epitome of worry and concern.
Twilight gaped at her, her jaw dropping as she processed her foalsitter’s words.
“NO!” She shrieked “That’s impossible! We used the Elements of Harmony on her! Nightmare Moon should be gone!”
Twilight starting pushing at Cadence with her forehooves more forcefully, trying to find out what happened. The pink mare obliged, letting Shining take her place.
“The elements of what?” Shining questioned, his concern obviously increasing, but he then shook his head and picked Twilight off the bed gently. He held her steady as she swayed uncertainly on her hooves, still slightly disoriented.
“Twilight,” Shining said, addressing Twilight in a nervous but inquisitive tone “tell us what happened in Ponyville. We got a report from a squad of guards that Nightmare appeared there first, before she took over the city.”
But as he spoke, Twilight had instead stole a glimpse over at Cadence and noticed her wings were wrapped in bandages, noticeably broken. She gasped and rushed over to her, searching Cadence for more injuries.
“Cadence! What happened to your wings?!” Twilight cried, dismayed at her friend’s injury.
Cadence grimaced but shook her head, “I’ll explain to you later, but first tell us about Ponyville.”
Twilight took some calming breaths and then spoke to them of everything, sparing no details. The prophecy, Ponyville, her friends, Nightmare, and the elements. She watched as they both became enraptured with her tale. Cadence seemed very interested in Twilight’s initial discoveries and Nightmare’s first appearance in the town hall, while Shining paid closer attention to Twilight describing their journey through the forest and the elements themselves. She began describing her short duel with Nightmare when Shining interrupted her.
“You fought Nightmare Moon!” Shining screeched at his sister, his eyes widening in shock.
“Not really,” Twilight corrected, wilting under Shining’s stare “it was more like a chase, I just successfully dodged her enough and caught her off guard with the elements.”
“What then Twilight?” Cadence asked, her brow furrowed in thought “You activated these elements and then what happened?”
Twilight sat down on her haunches and tapped her chin with a hoof, trying to recall the memories. But the memories slipped through her mind like water running through a griffon’s claws.
“Well…” she began “I don’t…really recall. I felt this huge surge of magic, and the next thing I know I’m waking up here.” She shook her head, her mane flipping across her face as she closed her eyes and let out a sigh. “I need to know what Nightmare told you. We must find my friends and the elements, that’s the only way I know how to stop her.”
Shining cocked his head suddenly to the side, his face scrunched up in thought as he realized something.
“Wait,” he said “are your friends two earth ponies, two pegasi, and a unicorn? Nightmare mentioned some civilian prisoners when she imprisoned all the guards.”
“Yes! That’s them!” Twilight answered, staring at her brother intently as if she could find out their fate by just staring at him. “What happened to them, where are they?”
She watched in growing frustration as Shining and Cadence shared a quick glance at one another, their faces morphing into different levels of anxiety, before Cadence looked back at her and spoke reluctantly.
“We’re…not really sure. Nightmare said that five prisoners with that description were in something called a cistern, but the castle dungeons don’t have anything like that. After Nightmare took over the castle, she bound our magic and sent us up here to you. I am assuming that Nightmare brought you here herself after what you just told me.”
She paused reluctantly and looked at Twilight in the eye, her lips quivering as she spoke her next words, as if not sure what to make of her thoughts.
“I don’t know what her game is Twilight, but when she captured us and sent us up here, Nightmare told us she was making Shining and I the personal servants of –“
Cadence’s horn suddenly lit up and her mouth closed shut, her own magic silencing her. Twilight watched in horror as she struggled to speak, but to no avail. Eventually, she stopped trying and the magic released her.
Shining watched in alarm as well, thinking about what to do as Cadence struggled. He turned to Celestia’s desk and picked up a parchment and quill, trying to pen whatever it was they wanted to tell her, but his magic slammed his hooves to the floor as soon as he tried to write.
“Hmph!” Cadence snorted in frustration, glaring up at her horn. “She enchanted the inhibitors to use our own magic against us! I cannot believe this!”
Twilight was shocked at her statement and parted Cadence’s mane with a hoof, revealing a shiny blue inhibitor at the base of the pink horn that she had not noticed before. Twilight looked over at Shining and he showed her his own inhibitor, parting his blue mane and shaking his head sadly.
“These prevent us from leaving the castle, or from disobeying her without causing each other pain.” He said despondently, his body posture sagging in depression from his predicament. “And,” he added “preventing us from telling you what lie she told us apparently. I don’t know what her angle is, but we must be careful around her. Nightmare is as stable and balanced as a dragon. There’s no telling what she’s thinking, she’s insane Twilight, don’t ever forget that.”
Twilight scowled and looked back at Cadence’s inhibitor, her own horn lighting up.
“Well,” she grunted defiantly “I’ll just have to take them off then.”
But just as her magic connected with the inhibitor, the pink horn it was attached to began to glow. Cadence looked up at her forehead to see what Twilight was doing, only for her eyes to widen in realization.
“Wait! Twilight don’t-“
The next thing Twilight knew, a large and very hard barrier appeared in front of Cadence and slapped her away, sending her crashing across the room and into a chess-of-drawers, shattering the wood.
“Uuggghh…empty-skies!” she groaned out from the heap of fragments. “I should have known better, that would have been too easy.”
Twilight became aware of a small amount of pain assaulting her system, originating from her sides. Twilight glanced down to see what was poking her, confused as to why it felt warm and…feathery?
As she laid eyes for the first time on the cause of the new sensation, her usual calculating mind came to a complete grinding halt and shut down. Her purple eyes became pinpricks as she lifted up a lavender wing for the first time.
Wings.
Two of them.
Attached to her.
Her breathing picked up pace rapidly, her chest rising and falling in quick succession. Twilight could only gasp in only short breaths, turning her panicked stare across the chamber at Shining and Cadence, who looked back at her nervously. From their anxious posture, Twilight discerned that they had obviously thought they could tell her perhaps more effectively somehow, trying to avert a panic attack.
“Now Twilight,” Cadence warned, her voice bordering on concern and fright, “take a de-“
She never finished.
“WINGS!” Twilight screeched, the windows of the room visibly shaking at her scream “THERE ARE WINGS ON ME!”
She scrambled out of the rubble of the broken furniture and rushed over to Shining and seized him roughly, shaking the poor stallion who looked slightly frightened by his manic sister.
“SHINING! WHAT DID SHE DO TO ME?!”
“Me? I did nothing my little star.”
It felt like the temperature immediately dropped twenty degrees, Twilight’s heart stopping in her chest from the short statement. Her new wings folded tightly to her sides in shock and alarm.
That voice.
Twilight knew that voice.
Twilight dared not move, content to stay as still as a statue, her magic still holding Shining in a firm grip. Her brother was looking over her shoulder as if a ghost had appeared behind her. Shining’s face had paled, the blood draining from his usually vibrant features to make him look haggard and old. She let go of him, Shining slumping down where he was, still gaping at the dark mare Twilight knew was right behind her.
Dreading every movement, she turned around slowly, a cold sweat breaking down her back from the sudden fear that had taken ahold of the new alicorn.
It was her.
Nightmare Moon.
The imposing mare was standing directly in front of her, the wild blue ethereal mane billowing with dying stars. Her eyes were staring through Twilight and into her soul. A smile that revealed her knives for teeth graced the specter’s face.
“B-B-But,” Twilight sputtered, her ears folding back as she looked up at the alicorn looming over her, naught but two breaths away. “I-I thought…t-the e-elements-“
Twilight stopped, swallowing her words, although her incomplete sentence only seemed to make Nightmare smile wider, her eyes flashing with glee in the descending gloom that had descended on them.
But instead of smiting her then and there, as Twilight had thought she would do, Nightmare turned her muzzle at Cadence and Shining, although her eyes remained locked onto Twilight.
“Stay here until our return, clean up this mess and fix the state of the room. Twilight and I are going for a walk.”
She turned back to Twilight, her tail swishing back and forth excitedly at something.
“Come Twilight, there is much for you and I to discuss.”
Twilight didn’t know how, but she buried her fear and managed a few, defiant words.
“W-What makes you think I’m going a-anywhere w-with you?” she croaked in what she hoped was a rebellions tone.
Nightmare frowned at Twilight, a small sneer crawled up her face suddenly. But just as it appeared, it was gone as if it had never been there. A very mischievous, almost malicious, smile quickly replaced it.
“If you will not come willingly,” she said, her draconic eyes flashing towards Shining and Cadence “we could always order your servants to carry you.”
Twilight sighed, she really didn’t want to be the source of further humiliation for her brother and his marefriend. Twilight did not really having a foalproof reason to refuse Nightmare Moon, considering how helpless her friends and family were. Twilight nodded at the black alicorn in reluctant resignation.
“Fine, I’ll go. Just…please…don’t hurt them, or my friends.” She grumbled, grinding out her manners like a tooth being pulled.
“So long as they do what we say and do not cause trouble, they have no reason to fear our wrath.” Nightmare told Twilight, smiling down at the smaller mare. “They need to know their place under our glorious reign, we do not trust or want Celestia’s useless captain. Nor do we find the puppet princess worthy of our notice. They are both much more useful as our servants.”
Ending her demeaning lecture, Nightmare turned around and exited the chamber, clearly expecting Twilight to follow.
Twilight began to go, but turned back to Shining and Cadence, who were glaring at the exit of the chamber Nightmare had just passed through. They then noticed her staring and their concerned expressions came back to greet her.
“I’ll…figure something out. Probably.” Twilight told them quietly, knowing it sounded more like a fervent prayer than a statement of confidence.
“Just be safe, don’t antagonize her. We don’t exactly have the upper hoof.” Shining warned.
“Twilight,” Cadence said, her face very, very anxious. “Nightmare is up to something, be on your guard. I’m not sure if she’s delirious or desperate, but she wants you to be something.” She lowered her head and shook it despondently, sighing in frustration. “I would tell you what she told us when Nightmare first sent us up here, but her magic is preventing us from telling you.” She looked back up at Twilight “Be careful. We’ll find a way out of this, I promise.”
And with that, Twilight faced back towards the open doors, knowing she could no longer delay the alicorn’s summons.
As she entered the hallway, she barely noticed the doors close with an ominous boom, like the shutting of a tomb. She looked up at her surroundings and was surprised at what she saw.
The castle had completely changed.
Where once the white marble that dominated the castle was sleek obsidian that twinkled like starlight. The once gold furnishings had been transformed into silver plating. The sun and moon decorations had been replaced by just a singular figure of a dominant moon. Most of the paintings that had lined the walls were gone, many of them had featured Celestia or prominent figures over the past millennium. Everything had been either recolored, replaced, redone, or removed. Nothing looked the same.
“What-But-How-Why?” all came out of Twilight in quick succession as she stared at the new decorations.
“This is our castle now, and it shall bear the likeness of our most mysterious night. We have no desire for the old furnishing to remind us of Equestria’s former ruler.” Nightmare said plainly. “The how is very simple, our magic is strong and such metamorphic spells are simple for us. In time, the paintings and statues will be replaced with more deserving figures.”
The lunar alicorn turned back down the hallway, away from Twilight, and started walking patiently towards what Twilight knew would lead towards the Royal Gardens.
She reluctantly followed, glancing at the new furnishings as she followed Nightmare’s large and menacing form, trying to figure out what was going on and trying to formulate a plan of opposition to take.
Twilight figured up her options, running through a mental checklist of plausible plans.
She couldn’t defeat Nightmare in a magic duel or by other conventional means. The alicorn was too powerful and she had already tried that in the old castle before using the elements, to disastrous results.
As much as she hated to admit it, Twilight could not depend on Celestia to come and rescue them. From what she had read, Celestia had needed the elements in the past to deal with Nightmare Moon, and Nightmare had them…somewhere. And since Celestia had not appeared, and Nightmare had insinuated as much, she was probably captured and imprisoned. Twilight would not even consider the option that Celestia could be dead, such morbid thoughts were demoralizing, and would crush her soul if she voiced them, even to herself. Twilight had to cling to the hope that she could find and free her mentor somehow, if she didn’t, Twilight did not know if she would have the courage or the strength to stand-up to Nightmare.
The Elements of Harmony were no longer an easy solution either since Twilight didn’t have the elements, not even knowing where they were. In addition to that, Twilight did not know where her friends where, another problem with using the elements. Twilight could only hope they were unharmed and she could somehow free them. The fact that Nightmare had them imprisoned in an unknown location didn’t help her position or any plans regarding the elements.
Cadence and Shining were near helpless, their magic imprisoned and Cadence injured along with the servitude enchantments place on them. They could both easily be harmed or manipulated if Twilight started fighting Nightmare Moon.
Shining had mentioned that a Lunar Pegasi army had taken the castle and all of Canterlot. If that were true, then Twilight was severely outnumbered now. There would be little hope for help from the other cities. With Celestia missing and Nightmare in control of Canterlot and the celestial mechanisms, then the rest of Equestria would have to submit to the usurper in order to just survive.
Twilight was on her own.
The only plausible plan she could come up with was to wait for an opportunity, find and rescue her friends, locate the elements, free Celestia, and perhaps gather some useful information as she waited.
Twilight realized she would have to face Nightmare alone till then, and deal with the consequences of her failure with the elements.
She still didn’t know what Nightmare wanted with her. The logical thing Nightmare should have done was imprison or enslave her too. The wings, forcing Shining and Cadence to be her servants, and the obvious restraint Nightmare showed at Twilight’s defiance was unsettling, if not disturbing.
And that scared her.
... welp, she is so grounded.
yay
Well this is where I would say words of sapport but I have nothing. Maybe my OC Prince Dark Bane can help. The one before he was free from the darkness.
Prince Dark Bane: This is not my world so why should I care?
Dark Bane: Evil self you know it is the right thing to do.
Give up I've tried before and it's like trying to drown a fish in water.
the story is really coming along. Possibly wondering if you would use my Oc Shadow Star, who is a pegasi that is loyal to Nightmare moon, who has been in Cloudsdale and his family have been waiting for her return since she was banished to the moon
4331461 You better hope not, if Cadence's wings are any indication, you don't want Nightmare to "ground" Twilight.
Ohh boy I cannot wait to see Twilight's reaction to being Luna's/Nightmares daughter she completely freaked out with the one fact that she has wings let alone everything else. And she is so close to finding out your enjoying teasing us like this aren't you!
4331772 I doubt even Nightmare would do that to her own daughter... I think....
Seeing Fluttershy like that is enough to make the blood boil. When Twilight sees that, she'll screw planning and attack Nightmare. I've got a feeling that the Elements aren't as hidden away as Nightmare would like to believe...
4331790
No, but she would threaten her friends and family. She won't use force on Twilight because she doesn't have to. She'll use force on every pony else because she wants to. And Twilight will have no choice.
I almost want to believe even as she's nightmare, Luna loves Twilight at least a little, enough to not hurt her at least...but that A/N doesn't inspire confidence
Well now, this is surprisingly good - while the concept of Luna being Twilight's mother isn't entirely new, one that's decently written most certainly is. You portray emotions and atmosphere pretty well - both have been pretty intense so far, and I am looking towards the time when Twilight finds out about her bloodline ... things should be interesting indeed.
That aside though, there are some things I hope this story addresses - mainly, why did Luna become Nightmare Moon in this one? Because the addition of a newborn foal kinda changes everything. At least, I imagine she would hardly go Nightmare mode because her subjects didn't "love" her en mase - if anything that would be a blessing, because not having to waste time in courts and such, if few if any ponies came to visit her, would mean more time to spend with her daughter, which should rank far higher on her scale of importance.
Then there is the question of Twilight's father - who was he, and why didn't the presence of a loving family keep Luna from going Nightmare (And why did she keep Twilight's existence hidden)? Granted, it could have been a one night stand or something (or something bad might have happened to the stallion), but still - I hope this question gets answered.
Until that happens though, I can't feel any sympathy for Luna - the opposite, if anything. She had a foal in her life to take care of, her own flesh and blood that she apparently loved, yet she cast all that aside to go on her rampage, without consideration for what consequences that would bring on to her foal.
Until further information is available on the subject though, my feelings on the matter are that Luna doesn't deserve to have her foal back, because she already abandoned it once, harming it severally in the process to the point where it would have died if not for Celestia. If Nightmare actually cares about her daughter like she likes to pretend, she should honestly be groveling at Celestia's hooves for not allowing the tragedy that her own short-sightedness set in motion to manifest.
Very interesting story, I like these kinds of fics where Nightmare wins the second time around and the others are trying to desperately pick up the pieces. I especially liked your description of Twilight using the elements. Heal or Punish? If I ever write a fic where they activate the elements, mind if I use that?
Have a like and a favorite.
4332066 No I don't mind. I was always under the impression that the elements gave a choice. This theory was reinforced by Equestria Girls when Sunset Shimmer took the Element of Magic, and it turned her into a monster and turned on her, returning to Twilight. It's like a test, the Elements sometimes present the choice to see if it's bearer is worthy of using it. Exceptions are Discord, who presents himself as the very anti-thesis of harmony.
4332002
No matter the reason, it's safe the say any pity for Luna has gone down the drain, somewhere between blinding Fluttershy, and putting Cadence and Shining Armor into a Clockwork Orange-type conditioning.
Wanting to see nightmare win. Don't care about flutteshy being blinded, the stare is too much of a danger to keep around. Shining and Cadence are still the enemy so not really minding there postion. To me hasen't really done anything too bad for me to hate her.
4332646 It does, thank you for your input. I hope the other chapters are more describing and that I improved from the initial prologue. When writing that scene, I didn't want to bore initial readers with long descriptions of spells or the staircases. Plus, the vagueness makes it easier to work with later on and doesn't reveal too many plot points early on. My hope was to catch the reader's attention and keep them wanting more. But thanks again for both your advice and your manners.
4331772 the other grounded. being banned from leaving the house er, castle, etc.
i.imgur.com/EMrknJP.gif
The gif said it all...
This shall be getting interesting.
Interesting... Shaping up to become something good. I'm eagerly awaiting more. I especially can't wait to see Twilight's reaction when she finds out who she really is... granted, she won't believe NMM at first, that would be weird even with foolproof evidence staring her right in the face (*cough*wings*cough*)
And, as I said before, you better make Twilight guilt trip Nightmare into giving Fluttershy her vision back!
Why didn't Celestia tell cadence that nightmare moon was real? As a back up back up plan.
There are so many errors and simple typos that a decent editor should have spotted...
Twilight really needs to consider the implications of what it means that she seems to be an alicorn now, considering that she was trying to use the elements of harmony to HEAL/RESTORE. Depending on her answers to the following questions she might be headed straight for a stunning revelation.
Also, your story thus far raises some questions. What is an alicorn? How is it that you can take away their unicorn and pegasus magic so completely that they don't seem to be an alicorn at all? Can the elements of harmony make anyone an alicorn or is there something very difficult to notice that was wrong with Twilight that the elements corrected?
4754285
Probably figured she could handle her or that Twilight would succeed. which she almost did. Also, if she told Cadence what she did early on, then later revealing that Nightmare Moon was real would have raised some red flags. Could Cadence thereafter trust anything Celestia said that she had not tested herself? Would she really buy the real story and not think it fabricated? It would have made an ugly mess for Celestia to clean up to admit that at any other time than when the question was first asked and those circumstances may themselves have pushed almost anyone to avoid telling the truth about NMM. There's also the issue that the stories told were probably largely exaggerated to some degreedespite any accidental truth about the future return NMM and her actions then. Prior to her banishment we may suppose that the Luna personality? played more of a role than she does at the moment. NMM will happily take advantage of satisfying Luna's chief desire.
** usually when I comment on a chapter, that's right after I just read it and before reading the next one.
chest-of-drawers
placed on
Now there's a mental image. Chess set with the pieces in the form of assorted kinds of drawers. Using the undergarment definition o draws of course.
4332545 I like your mentality good sir. Have some bat wings for your trouble.
7220426
I have to admit that my opinion is a bit torn. On one claw, seeing NM win would be interesting and make an original turn to the story and on the other, I just want to see her pay for hurting Fluttershy, basically abandoning her child to go on a rampage and nearly killing said child by using dark magic.
Let us see where this story will go. It is a clucking go one so far.