Two years after the arrival of the Muscle Wizard...
I grinned at my work. It had taken me two years of hard work and flexing, but I had turned this old, decrepit castle into a fortress perfect for my unique magic.
It was now a combination of a library and a gym. Two years of hard work and general manliness had resulted in my growing in arcane power. I flexed my arms, now noodles. One of the spells that I'd had to invent was 'Muscle Compression;' I invented it mainly because I had reached a level of hugeness that made it difficult to eat. Just as it seemed as if I would have to levitate food into my mouth like a pussy, I came upon a spell that shrunk things down. After tweaking the spell a bit to simply compress my muscles permanently, keeping their strength and reducing size, I could make myself look like a total weakling.
Although, my arms weren't really noodles. They were lined with taut muscle, and I had a well-defined six-pack. While my muscles were so small, I couldn't wear my favourite robe. So, I'd raided the town and came away with a lot of yellow fabric. I used it with my magic to make a jumpsuit, with a black stripe. I now felt like Bruce Lee. I perused the nearest book, a history book. Something appeared which made me frown.
"What's this? Nightmare Moon..." I gripped my pipe, summoned from Summon Manly Item (I had about a dozen porn booklets, a steak, and a bear-crocodile-gorilla, which I'd killed in a brutal fistfight) and puffed it, forming a cloud of smoke that resembled a flexing, muscular arm. "Hmm... A thousand years will she be imprisoned... I'd say, given these history books, that the thousand years are up." I grinned; it was time to demonstrate the power of Muscle Magic.
Ponyville
Twilight looked at the orange mare with green eyes. She seemed to have a lot of muscles, although not as many as the positively gargantuan red stallion, who seemed to be built like a house.
"So this, ah, 'Muscle Wizard,' just came through and made all these craters?" The mare grunted, lifting the weight that she seemed to carry with her all the time..
"Yep. Sent Pinkie Pie through the wall; she got out in a couple of hours. Pinkie Pie's skull is thicker than rock. Crazy girl." She shook her head with a smlgith grin on her face, even as she lifted a barbell that probably weighed as much as her whole body. Twilight stared at it and her muscles with a reserved, kind of weirded out expression.
"Um, why are you lifting that thing all the time?" Applejack grinned.
"Land sakes, miss Twi, you're askin' a lot of questions. I'm doin' it in order to prove that ah can beat that darn Muscle Wizard. He gave me this as well." She tossed a book at Twilight, who eagerly grabbed it. "Somethin' about me bein' his 'rival in muscles,' or summat. Big Mac's got one as well." The huge red stallion nodded, from his position of bench pressing two cows.
"Eeyup." Twilight nodded.
"Right! It seems as if you've got it all under control, so I'll see you later." Applejack frowned.
"Whoa, hang on there, sugarcube. Y'all leavin' without havin' a lunch?"
"Bwuh. I ate too much pie." Twilight panted, groaning about indigestion. Then, she hastily rolled out of the way of a huge barbell falling from the sky. Spike glared at the sky.
"Hey, watch it! You could've hurt somepony with that!" A sky blue mare flew down, picking it up in a hand.
"Heh, sorry. I was borrowing Bulk Bicep's equipment- poor pegasus' still in hospital, after the Muscle Wizard got him." Twilight's mane sprung out of place slightly at the mention of 'Muscle Wizard.'
"Okay, who is this Muscle Wizard, exactly? I mean, I know a little bit, but not all that much." The mare looked at her strangely.
"Yeah, he showed up like six months ago. Bulk tried to challenge him, but one look and he was sent flying! Then, he glared around, and said: "I hate pill-poppers. GAIN HUGENESS HONESTLY!" Twilight and Spike were bowled back by the sudden increase in volume. The mare rubbed her head awkwardly.
"The name's Rainbow Dash." Twilight raised her head.
"Ah, you're Rainbow Dash."
Ponyville town hall, in the Evening.
"...presenting, PRINCESS CELESTIA!" Instead of Celestia, it was revealed to be...
"YOU!"
The huge figure grinned, waving a hand. Twilight noticed that it had muscles that were giant. She glared at him.
"HELLO, PONYVILLE!" His voice boomed across the meeting hall. He then quietened down, looking at Twilight.
"I have not done anything to your Princess; I just got here. BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT! I'm here to make all you puny magic users... HUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGEEEEEEE! HURHGLABLARGLEBLAH!" He raised his hands in supplication, sinking to his knees, bellowing random syllables. Suddenly, he sprang to his feet again.
"You unicorns are SOFT, like uncooked bread! I will teach you... TO BE HUGE!" With that, he flexed, and Twilight noticed that magic was building up around him.
"THE NIGHT SHALL LAST FOREVER!!!!" Applejack turned around. Standing there was the dreadful Nightmare Moon!" She lunged forwards, landing a punch on the goddess. Unfortunately, it passed right through her, the goddess moving over to the Muscle Wizard.
"Ah, hello. What manner of being are you?" He shrugged.
"NIGHTMARE MOON! DO YOU DARE TO CHALLENGE THE MUSCLE WIZARD?!" Nightmare blinked.
"What." He flexed his muscles again.
"FALCON PUNCH!" This earned a blink.
"Falcon wha-" Suddenly, the Muscle Wizard zoomed forwards, gauntleted fist alight with fire. The fist connected, and Nightmare Moon was knocked through the building. He then turned to Applejack and grinned, his moustache finely oiled and gleaming.
"Applejack, my rival! Shall I fight with you later?"
"NNOW HANG ON-" He grinned and ran through the hole in the wall, after the goddess.Applejack stared at Twilight.
"...Well, that happened." Twilight's mane has now completely disshevelled. She turned.
"Hang on girls, to the library!"
"perfect for me unique magic."
"smlgith"???
What word is that meant to be?
So he falcon punched Nightmare Moon in the face and made Ponyville a town of fitness nuts? I've heard weirder things.
Well okay then! For the convenience of the plot i'm going to pretend I know exactly what's going it.
4026552 Muscle Wizard kicked Snowflake/Roid Rage/Bulk Bicep's ass and somehow got some of the town to try and live up to his manliness by growing muscles and working out.
ROFLMAO!!
4021714
I'm now imagining Muscle Wizard doing an Old Spice Man impression just to screw with someone's head, maybe Cadence at her wedding.
But they would require only the most nutritious source of food available to maintain their hugeness levels: Humans! That's the OPPOSITE of what we want!
I have no idea what this is.
I have a feeling you forgot space or a symbol somewhere... But never mind. I will keep posting this video since it is relevant, while Muscle Wizard hits us with his dry wit.
...Yus, so much Yus.
Falcon Pawnch is best Pawnch
Hahahahahaha! Oh you.
Well, might be a while before Discord but I'm excited if and when he breaks out a Chaos Dunk!
HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE
4026608 THIS IS HUGE! also quite funny.
THIS, THIS IS WHAT I CALL SOME SERIOUSLY AWESOME SHIT HERE.
On a side note, this NEEDS to happen at some point.
fc03.deviantart.net/fs37/f/2008/253/5/f/Falcon_Punch_Collider_by_Greennite.png
4026620
This video basically inspired Rise of the Muscle Wizard.
Do you feel proud?
4026540 Kinda reminds me of that story where the elements get switched with their human male body-building counterparts or whatever happened.
Well, that happened...
Wait, it says at the start that he arrived two years ago, but RD says he came in six months ago. Fix your time stamps please.
The Muscle Wizard needs a tower the size of a small moon.
4027289 He walked into ponyville and put pill popping pegasus into hospital 6 months ago. He fell into ponyville 2 years ago. Keep up hon. Muscle Wizard has to appear in ponyville every so often to keep track of his rivals in hugeness.
4026730
I hit him, with my dry wit.
HUGE!
I'm confused by the last section of this chapter as it wasn't clear to me what happened until I read it multiple times, but this story is awesome!
KEEP MAKING MORE CHAPTERS! ... if you don't mind
whoa hold the fuck up here. You said it took Muscle Wizard two years to build the castle.
The first quote says other wise. Did I miss something here?
4028222
>implying he worked on the castle 24/7
I....I... wha? Wait..WHAT?!.......AWSOME!
Basically my reaction to this chapter
Now we need to see a stacked flutter shy
And she needs to be the biggest of them
Would make my dad
4028222 I pointed that out too! Total continuity error!
I like the rivalry with the apple-family.
4028222
He is the muscle wizard on his way to be the hugest, such silly things as linear time progression are just playthings to his hugeness. He flexed and time flowed faster around his castle so he could build it and train more while less time passed in the rest of the world!
4026540
He's grown more Scottish (and therefore manlier,) over time.
"Smlgith" is the most superior and manly adjective. For instance, bacon is smlgith, bearsharktopi are very smlgith, and this fic is exceedingly smlgith. Only a True Man can pronounce it.
4030931 Truly Dik Dik Van Dik was the best dub name change EVER. Still surprised they took Gazelleman and just made it dick 3 times with a van in the middle.
4031018 wat?
4031026 Gazelleman had his name changed for the English dub to Dik Dik Van Dik.
i.imgur.com/9qQffoE.jpg
Also surprised anyone else remembers Ultimate Muscle.
4031039 realy?
4031045 Yeah. They did it since dik-dik is a name for a small antelope of all things. Can you think of a time changing a name for a dub was funnier?
Oh my god my sides! Ina laughing so hard right now! This is so god damn funny dude! You HAVE to continue it ASAP. This story is going down a very cool and unique path.
4068186
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/714/772/bb9.png
Hold up...Where's the random tag?
4026620
damn, beat me to it
4068319 no doubt! Looked up the character. He's in Darksouls as well!
...... Awesome.....
Armstrong from full metal alchemist would approve this
static.giantbomb.com/uploads/original/1/19821/694167-armstrong.jpg Armstrong approves!
Christ Almighty, he's like some sort of unholy combination of Armstrong, Mr. Torgue, and Macho Man Randy Savage!
4530569 ALL HAIL MUSCLE WIZARD! MENTOR TO THE GREAT CHUCK NORRIS!
SOOOOO MANY GIGGLES!
5367730 WHY CHUCK NORRIS WRITES TO HIS MENTOR I HAVE ONE HERE!
? . . . . I cant read this its in some kind of . . . ? ? ? Fist Langauge?
MW:GET PUNCHED
what?
*My face gets flattened by the fist but is uneffected*
Really mate?
I would kill for a spell like that.
Sooooooo, six months or two years?