Fallen
The puddle rippled as she ran pass, the wind of the forest submerged in screams stalked her every move, teasing and chasing. The storm above her raging a war that no pegasi could control.
Her only comfort was her long swirling mane of pink blocking her from looking behind.
Each step she took grew in pain, draining her of any hope of reaching the forest clearing.
"Got to get home, got to save my friends," the words chanted from her lips, she lowered her head.
"Oh, who am I kidding, I can't do th- eeep!"
A clasp of daggers gripped her hind leg, tripping her.
The shadows of the forest had caught up, taking her fear and consuming it, ever increasing in its strength.
She clamped her eyes shut, a feminine cackle swept through the air.
"Of all the ponies in Equestria, the Element of Kindness is all I have to defeat and the balance of the worlds will tip."
The blades in her leg dug in deeper causing Fluttershy to gasp as her leg flamed in pain.
"Too easy."
Fluttershy risked a glance behind her, dark and empty, but as she knew looks can be deceiving.
She stretched her hoof forward in vein attempt of pulling herself free, but she was too weak and any energy she had was trickling away.
She was so close, her friends need her.
Another grip took her hoof, more warm, soft and comforting than the last, pulling her. Slowly she began to close her eyes, a sense of safety overcame her. A quiet gentle chuckle sounded near her ear, her mane was being lightly stroked, as the forest started to sweep circles around her.
"Oh my dear, nothing can harm you dear daughter of -,"
* * * *
Fluttershy woke up with a start, a large bang had made her jump.
She began to glance around, she was home. She looked down at the floor and sighed, the blanket on the floor moved, but before she could squeal two little ears popped out.
"Oh my goodness, Angel!"
At that moment a rather angry looking rabbit had jumped out from under the blanket, dressed in striped green pajamas with a carrot pattern stitched onto the right pocket. He glared at Fluttershy, arms crossed, tapping his foot angrily.
Fluttershy jumped of the bed, and started to stroke him tentatively.
Angel growled and shuffled away, his eyes piercing hers.
"I'm so sorry Angel bunny, I didn't mean to. I... I... I had a bad dream, it was scary Angel... I must have kicked you off!"
Angel nodded, and turned away crossing his arms.
"Oh Angel, how can I make it up to you? Oh I know."
Fluttershy ran down the stairs and into the stores were she kept the food for all the animals, humming she selected a few items and raced back up to Angel, by which time he had removed his pyjamas and stood on Fluttershy's bed for a better view.
"I know how much you like apples,"
Fluttershy smiled offering the apple in her hoof, to which Angel had sniffed and swiftly battered away, sticking his tongue out.
"Oh dear, maybe a carrot?"
Again Fluttershy offered the food, and again Angel battered it away.
"Angel you have to eat something or you will be ill, try some tasty green beans."
Angel bounded away to a set of drawers which he opened, taking the paper, quill and ink, he began to draw, his concentration evident by his little tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth. When he had finished, he picked up the paper for Fluttershy to see.
"A banana? Oh no Angel bunny, rabbits can't eat too much of that it'll make you sick."
Angel tapped his foot
"But- "
Angel leapt forward closer toward Fluttershy, tapping his foot again,
"But- "
This time Angel tapped his foot with anger, sending the quill flying.
"I suppose a little bit wont hurt, we could share."
Angels face lit up.
"Wait here Angel, I got to go to the market. I wont be long."
With that she grabbed her basket and ran out the door.
* * * *
"Um, e- excuse me sir, I know your busy and all but- "
The stallion behind the counter was in deep conversation with a mare who stood behind him, he was seemingly to busy to notice Fluttershy, she tried again none the less.
"Sir? Excuse me. I just need, oh never mind ill wait."
She smiled nervously then glanced around. It was then she started to think about lasts night dream, how frightfully real it had all seemed. She looked at rear hoof, the pain that had ricocheted through it had been unbearable but yet there was no mark. Who was that mysterious mare that had sought to cause it.
Fluttershy was in deep thought, she failed to notice the stallion behind the stall having given up trying to get her attention had turned to serve another pony.
The rumbling of hooves first faint in dynamics, gradually increasing in volume seemingly coming closer.
"FLUTTERSHY!"
A voice yelped,
"Fluttershy?"
Her side was prodded, snapping her back to attention, ducking her head in response.
"Are you okay sugar cube?"
A familiar voice spoke full of comfort.
Fluttershy looked up, a mare with vibrant orange fur and a mane as golden as wheat looked at her, her eyes full of concern.
"I'm fine Applejack."
She looked around, all of her friends were here, staring at her with what looked like anxiety and excitement.
"What is it?" Fluttershy questioned.
"Princess Celestia has come to Pony Ville"
A purple alicorn grinned, her wings tucked in to accommodate a young dragon on her back. Fluttershy smiled back at Twilight, and asked,
"Then why are you all here, you should be with the Princess."
"Oh but darling, we simply can't greet her without you!"
A dazzling white unicorn intervened, she wore a lilac scarf around her neck.
"Me?"
"Yes you darling."
"Oh I'm sure she wont mind to wait a little, I need to feed Angel I promised him-"
"No time! We can't let Princess Celestia wait," Twilight explained.
"But I promised him, you see I upset him this morning and -"
A blast of air nearly swept her of her hooves, she instead turned her head away protecting her eyes, a trail of rainbows remain suspended in front of her, slowly fading away. In a split second Angel was sitting in front of her, his eyes spinning round his head, quickly he recuperated and stared at the blue Pegasus.
"There, lets go already!"
Her rainbow mane flowing in the wind.
"Rainbow Dash! Its okay sugar cube, take your time."
"Thank you Applejack, excuse me sir may I just have one banana?"
Fluttershy handed over a bit to the stallion, who took it grumpily. She gave Angel half, who took it greedily.
"There lets go!"
Rainbow Dash grabbed Fluttershy's hoof and flew, causing her to drop the other half, that was quickly collected by a pink pony with wild poofy mane, she consumed it just as fast.
"Hmmm, I love bananas! Not as much as chocolate milk or cupcakes, or cupcake flavored milk!... Guys wait up!"
The pony bounced behind the rest of her friends heading toward Pony Ville's border.
* * * *
"Welcome back to Ponyville, your majesty."
A circle of ponies bowed to a majestic alicorn whose mane shimmered, and blazed full of colour swirled in the sky, bringing only thoughts of sunshine and warmth. She bowed her head.
"Always a pleasure Princess."
She smiled as Twilight blushed, evidently still not yet used to her title.
"And a pleasure it is to see your friends too."
She said looking at each pony in turn.
"Applejack, how is business at Sweet Apple Acres?"
"Oh, um, its mighty fine of you to ask, your highness. Sweet apple acres is good, in fact we have sold more apples than we have in along time, ma'am."
Celestia chuckled
"I'm glad to hear that. And you Rarity?"
"Oh my goodness, it has been amazing, Princess. I have had so many orders-"
"Excuse me your highness?"
Twilight interrupted, stepping a little closer, her ears back. Celestia smiled.
"Yes Twilight?"
"I do not want to be rude, your highness, but why is it have you come to Ponyville?"
"Why to see my dear sister."
"Your sister?"
Twilight tilted her head.
"Yes my dear sister of the night, how is she?"
The ponies mumbled to one another, Applejack stepped forward slowly, flicking her hat up making her face more visible.
"Uh, princess, you see-"
"She isn't here!" Rainbow dash yelped, flapping her wings she took of into the air hovering above Applejack.
"WHAT?!"
Celestia lowered her head, a confused look spread onto her face.
"I was so sure she said... "
Celestia mumbled to herself. Her ears twitched, she looked up, shock spread through her face.
The rest of the ponies looked up.
"LUNA?!"
Above them a shadow loomed closer gaining speed has it moved toward the earth, its dark mane sparkling, looking out of place in the bright blue sky, as air rushed through it it moved out the alicorns face her eyes closed.
"Luna!"
"Rainbow! Gather up some clouds bring them down to the ground.Quickly!"
Twilight maniacally demanded, Rainbow nodded zooming off leaving a trail of rainbows, her eyes squinted as she collected speed. Clouds of different sizes began to be put together, growing as it came zooming toward the ground.
"Fluttershy move out of the way!"
Fluttershy ducked in fear, letting out a small squeal as Applejack looped her hoof around her yanking her out of the scene,
"Th- thank you"
POOMF!
"Luna!"
Princess Luna had landed in the clouds, dispersing them as she made contact, the alicorn fell to the floor.
The princesses mane covered the ground, making what looked like a hole to another universe. The ponies ran instantly to be by her side, Fluttershy stayed in the background hesitating.
"Oh dear"
Luna strained to lift her head of the ground
"Dear sister, what happened?"
A course of mumbling filled the air, followed by a little gasp.
Every pony turned to look at Fluttershy. Her cheeks blushing, as she ducked wrapping her tail around herself.
"Fluttershy, what's this about your dream?"
* * * *
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I'm liking the story so far and looking forward to more chapters!
Although, there are a few minor problems, mostly with punctuation at the end of dialogue. When a character ends his/her line, be sure to add a period/exclamation point/question mark.
Also:
I'm pretty sure the town's name is supposed to be written Ponyville, not Pony Ville. And there should be a period instead of a comma
after "Fluttershy questioned".
One last thing, you might want to put indentations or leave a space in between new paraghraps. It makes it easier to read.
But, like I mentioned, those are minor stuff.
Keep up the good work!
3991229
I keep changing the form of this chapter every time I look at it ;-) there used to be a gap between every dialogue section e.g.
Thank you Leafall first of all for reading (yay :-D). I will go through it and change things so thank you for pointing it out for me
'... hope of reaching the forest clearing.
" Got to go home, go to save my friends," the words chanted from her lips....'
Thanks again :-D I'm glad you like my story
(oh and thanks for adding dreaming of empty chaos as a fav)
3991301
I know that feeling far too well...happens all the time.
Haha!
I'm glad my comment could help you!
3991527 Tada!
3996539
Yay!
(Sorry!)
I see you've fixed most of the stuff.
There are still some things, that I forgot to mention, or I didn't explain well, and those mistakes are still there...
First, let me give an example:
Now, if the dialogue actually ends, as in there is no "said Fluttershy", or something similar, do not put the comma there.
I can't really explain this too well, so let me show you:
Another example could be:
And now, the fix:
And with that I also fixed a couple of different mistakes.
And now, I see that you have a bit of a problem with where to put apostrophes. Try to work on that, look for the rules, and try to stick with them.
So, overall, you could maybe look for a proof-reader/pre-reader, or perhaps try teaching yourself.
But, like I said, the story has potential, and it could be even better without the mistakes!
Wow, this comment was long...
3996794 I don't mind long, it is useful
and now I see what you mean 
yeah sorry you had to explain it... again major whoopsy hehe
Thank you every pony!! 100 views hehe, wasn't even expecting that!!!!!
WHAT?! You NEVER feed a rabbit cabbage! It's too gassy for them!
3998047
I do an animal care course... 
you can feed it in proportion, and not all the time, flutters was trying to get angel to eat (same like you wouldn't feed loads of apple, carrot or a lot of banana its a treat) 
sorry, I will change it to something else. Didn't mean to upset :-(
3998047 I felt curious of your statement, so today at college I thought I'd complete more research from reading some scientific journals. I discovered cabbage can be fed to rabbits at room temperature and cut up into manageable sizes, obviously lettuce is a no no. Sorry I had to double check, I have still changed it.
Other than that,
was my story ok? :-S
3996794 Yet again, thank you
Fingers cross the next chapter should be finished soon 
This looks like it's going to be an interesting adventure for Flutters. Look forward to the next chapter.
4249150 thank you, I'm glad your enjoying it
4249691 I really like how the chapter ended with all eyes on Fluttershy. You can almost feel the panic building up in her.
4249697 I'm just adding the finishing touches the next chapter, and then edit it
but again thank you so much! 
I don't like this story, I love it!
Great job, especially for a first story!
But I guess I shouldn't be talking because I m writing my only story too...