Corporal Andrew White has served as an ODST for longer than thought possible, and he has seen things that would drive any normal man to insanity. Hours after returning to his platoon after recovering from an injury on the planet Reach, he is thrust into combat yet again for humanity. Will he make it through the last hours humanity seems to have, or will he be killed in action in a valiant last stand?
(be gentle it is my first story)
Edited by : ZamboniPony, and M1_A4_Abrams they have been a big help
Chapters (6)
Needs some editing and fact fixing but not a horrible start.
The last bit makes no sense though. AJ kicks the shotgun and the rifle fires. No sense. Let alone the fact that any good soldier would keep his booger hook off the trigger until ready to fire. Basic firearms training that is practically beaten into you during boot and AIT.
Same with taking the helmet off. Just got attacked, so lets ditch part of my armor and get knocked out.
Anyhow, like I was saying. A good editor and some fact checking and this story would be pretty good. Neutral rating so far, but hoping to turn it into a thumbs up. I'll be watching.
*sings* Helljumper Helljumper, where you live! oh, sorry. Was watching ODST recruits getting fragged like noobs. Netflix has a Halo movie apparently.
Awesome
Looks good so far but why would she be hostile since ponies and human beings have never been in contact therefore not knowing how to react or what a gun is
Thank you for the comments. They are not as bad when I first uploaded a story and had someone just pick apart the description alone and not anything with the story. I will do my best to make this story enjoyable.
Saw this while browsing, immediately interested as an avid halo fan
>>ColTill if there is anything that you notice from the halo universe that needs adjusted please tell me, I really want this story to be the best it can be
. Especially since it is one of the more difficult crossover types out there, I want to do this right.
A few spelling errors, and I half expected the bright flash to be covenant
Good work
4555333
and I have been doing the best i can to catch them.
Thank you, very much
What happened?
5018977
Happened to what?
5042680 rest of story...
5045528
I have been working on it I just get ideas then change them completely. Then I am trying to get grammar errors fixed without an editor since nobody has responded to my requests when I ask.
5046666 no time to be Editor but can help look for errors... Maybe this weekend though...
5047868
Thank you that would be great! I will let you decide what way to inform me of my errors, if that is okay. Thank you again!
5047901 email? drumunkey007@gmail.com
5047939
That is perfectly fine with me I will email you with the email you can send stuff to
Not on computer so no editing until Friday but I can spellcheck
it's because I have no time to sit at my PC until weekends
you have my attention
Right poor foehammer or is it forehammer?
good story but you need to slow it down and fix your grammar
I am going to be his editor... Bit can only work on weekends sadly
5054019
It is Foehammer good sir
5056811 ah thanks was a bit confused and now i'm going to play some halo:CE
5058688
.
Welcome
wow that was a wile.....nice you painted the UNSC ODST fairly well good job
5278496
I tried to pick up the ODST mindset. It wouldn't be the same if he isn't like an MA5 with the safety permanently off.
5283927 i was thinking how about you spice the story by adding one to three more ODST
5287151
I wont spoil anything but soon explanations will be given and it will hit the fan so sit tight. And I hope you will like where the story is going.
5287366 i am
5291406
I am happy you like it.
There is a lot of errors like grammer but its also the plot
5620613
I have been working on fixing them as best I can
5622212 your doing good
5682952
Thanks I am trying my best. I have kept my halo knowledge and mlp knowledge in mind as much as possible
5682987 it shows, I see the ponies being pushy with stuff and him being a preferred loner until he decides to let them in gradually
5683123
I am beginning to get more ideas for this next chapter. But the next chapter is almost ready for proof read and the ideas I have are good for this chapter. But will not have to be pushed back until later.
5685367 just take your time you never rush a good story
5686649
that is why I haven't sent my chapter to my editor yet. It isn't where I want it at yet.
Why did shining randomly decide to wreck the library?