Twilight found herself unable to sit in the waiting room. She was far too anxious, far too concerned for her best friend in the emergency room. She began pacing back and forth, deciding to try and think about something else. She looked around the room, actually observing it for the first time. It wasn't really impressive. The walls, ceiling and floor were simple white tile, and the floor looked like it used to be carpeted.
"We gave up trying to clean the blood stains months ago" said one of the doctors. The ceilings were decorated with long, fluorescent light-tubes that occasionally released a soft buzzing sound. There were three rows of chairs, with two back-to-back rows in the middle row, so it was actually more like four. There were about 25 chairs. A few bookcases were placed against walls, containing either children's books, magazines, or things about pregnancy and childbirth. There were also a few small tables with more magazines on them.
Twilight was the only one in the room aside from a few doctors and two nurses who were all talking to each other. One of the nurses was nice enough to actually try to cheer her up. "It's good you got her here when you did. That cut was pretty bad." The nurse said as she examined the cuts on Twilight, and treated them with some anti-septic fluids, and a bandage wrapped around a particularly bad cut on her right foreleg. Twilight's main concern was still Rainbow's condition.
She kept glancing at the door, knowing Rainbow was somewhere down the hallway on the other side.
Where in Equestria is Luna with Scootaloo? Twilight thought to herself over and over.
About nine minutes after Twilight arrived with Rainbow Dash still on her back, Rainbow was moved from the E.R. to the I.C.U.. It felt like so much longer. The nurse finally began to explain what exactly was going on in there.
"They cleaned her wing and patched it up, which was the primary concern because of the bleeding. After that, they came to notice some spreading damage in her left eye. Whatever it is, it's moving towards her brain. They may need to cut into her eye to remove it if they are unable to magically. The burns were not severe, and will be treated last. I'm confident that she will be fine."
After what seemed like forever, but was probably five minutes, she heard soft, rapid hoofsteps down the hallway opposite the one Rainbow was down. She smiled as the little orange Pegasus walked through the doorway, beaming at Twilight. Princess Luna followed close behind.
Scootaloo ran up and hugged Twilight, saying "Thankyouthankyouthankyou! Princess Luna told me how you saved Rainbow and carried her all the way here! You're my hero! I don't know what I would have done without her! Thank you!"
"How are you doing?" Luna asked Twilight.
"My best friend, the one I care much more about than my own existence, is in the Intensive Care Unit. I could be better."
All three of them eventually sat down, Twilight wrapping a wing around the shaking Scootaloo and Luna sitting opposite to them. Apparently, Scootaloo was terrified of hospitals. Twilight just couldn't understand why. After more time passed, a doctor eventually walked through the door and wiped sweat from his forehead. "She will be fine. You may see her, but she is still partially under the effects of anesthesia, so you may want to wait."
After about ten more minutes, the trio decided it was probably long enough. Twilight stood first, lowering a wing to allow Scootaloo to climb on her back from the chair. Twilight walked through the door and followed the doctor to a seemingly random room, with Luna following. He opened the door, and Rainbow immediately lifted her head and smiled brightly at the sight of her savior and her daughter on her back.
Rainbow was lying on her chest. Her entire right wing was bandaged. There was also a bandage wrapped around her head and covering her left eye. There was no longer a black patch in her mane, and there were no signs of the burnt fur. There was an IV drip with a tube extending to her arm.
Scootaloo jumped off Twilight's back and would have landed on Rainbow if not for Twilight's magic catching her in mid air and putting her back down on the floor. She jumped up and down as she bombarded Rainbow with questions.
"How many Changelings did you get? Were they scared of you? How many did it take to bring you down? How many were chasing you?
How did Twilight manage to carry you all the way here? Was the Queen there? Did you get her too? Did Luna help?"
Rainbow smiled and chuckled at her daughter bounding up and down like a puppy.
"We will leave you all alone with each other." Luna said, smiling. "We really must be getting back to Canterlot. My sister must know what has happened, and that the Changelings are indeed here once more. We wish you the best of luck." Luna walked out and magically closed the door behind her.
Rainbow finally answered Scootaloo. "Easy there, kiddo. I didn't get any of 'em. The Queen was there, and she got me good." She said, pointing to her eye, then her wing. Her face flushed slightly when she mentioned that she was so easily beat."Twilight got a ton of those freaks though! It was awesome! You should've seen her, she landed and saved my flank at the last minute, and every time they tried to jump on her, she knocked them right back! Then, she started glowing, and..."
Rainbow continued with her story, giving every little detail all the way up to after Luna saved them. She put a lot of emphasis on the chase through the forest. Sliding under the tree, ramming the Changeling into another tree, knocking right through three more Changelings, jumping Ghastly Gorge...
"Wow Twilight, I never knew you were so awesome!" Scootaloo said excitedly.
"I keep telling you, she's the third coolest pony around!" Rainbow said back, lowering a hoof to mess up Scootaloo's mane. Looking back over to Twilight, Rainbow finally noticed the Cyan feather in her mane. "Umm, Twi... you've got a little something in your mane." Rainbow said, beginning to blush.
Twilight reached into her mane and found the feather. Pulling it out, her face immediately lit up red. She laughed nervously.
"Gee Twilight, I never knew you felt that way." Rainbow teased. Scootaloo looked confused. She had no idea what the feather meant.
"Well, I could always give you one of my feathers to make up for it." Twilight teased back. The two began laughing quite excessively. Scootaloo still had no idea what to say.
"Oh, just keep it you silly filly." Rainbow finally said.
"Can somepony please explain to me what's so funny?" Scootaloo asked.
"Oh, that's right, I never told you how Pegasi show affection. Basically, When A Pegasus really really likes somepony, they offer a feather for the other pony to wear in their mane. It's a way of showing relationship and love." Rainbow explained.
"Oh, so if there are two Pegasi... or a Pegasus and an Alicorn, they both offer a feather?" Scootaloo more guessed than anything.
"Exactly." Twilight said staunchly.
"So does that mean you and Twilight..."
As if on queue, the same doctor that led Twilight into the room in the first place opened the door and entered.
"I don't believe I have introduced myself yet. My name is Hopeful Cure." He was a light tan-ish Unicorn with a caramel mane. His Cutie Mark was a beaker filled with a purple liquid, with hollow purple bubbles excreting from the top. He wore a white lab coat (at least it looked sort of like a lab coat) and square-lensed glasses.
"I oversaw the treatment of your friend here. There were a few complications, but hay, you're alive and kicking."
"Yeah, no thanks to you poking me in the eye with that horn of yours." Rainbow said accusingly.
"I thought I already apologized for that! I was only trying to help get that... thing out of your eye. It looks like it worked to me. Again, you're alive and kicking. Anyway, I came in to give you a full report on the damage, as you both may need to make some decisions. First off, there is no way you will be flying for at least three weeks, and that's with the wing alone." He said to Rainbow.
"Wow. Guess those flying lessons will have to wait, huh Twi?" Rainbow said, smiling nervously at Twilight.
"That's seriously your first concern? If anything, I thought it would be something like Wonderbolts training, or maybe how you and Scootaloo will get to your cloud house every day." Twilight responded.
"Oh horseapples! How are we gonna get home if I can't fly?"
"Well..." Twilight started. After a moment, she let out a deep breath and continued. "You and Scoots could... come live with me and Spike for a while..."
"That sounds awesome!" Scootaloo said, once again jumping into the air and hovering for a moment by rapidly buzzing her wings.
"Well, it does sound pretty cool. Are you sure about this?" Rainbow asked to Twilight.
"Of course! As long as you don't act like Applejack and Rarity did during my first slumber party..." memories of her former friends stung Twilight's eyes. Rainbow immediately felt this in her best friend, and sought to change the subject.
"So, uh, how about this eye?" Rainbow said, pointing a hoof to the lame eye.
"Unfortunately, we have no idea. We have never seen this kind of thing before. Well, there was something a little similar that one time... anyway, your eye began to discolor. We found some sort of magic in there, and it was spreading backwards towards your brain. Luckily, me and one of the other doctors manages to magically remove it. The damage is very unlikely to be permanent, as the last time we looked, it was beginning to recolor. I still wouldn't risk anything for a while." Hopeful explained.
"The wing was a bit of trouble, with all the bleeding, but again, a few weeks and you should be able to fly again. The burns were easily healed with magic, and we even managed to save your mane. You will be fine with time. I recommend you get some rest." He finished, and turned to walk out the door.
"Wait." Twilight said to Hopeful Cure. "Is it okay if... I stay here for the night?"
"Rainbow? It will be your decision." He looked to her for approval. She nodded excitedly, smiling at her new lavender roommate. "And of course your daughter can stay as well." He said before finally leaving the room, turning the lights off, and leaving the door open just a crack.
"Anyway, to answer your question from before, Scoots, me and Twilight are just friends." Rainbow said. Twilight felt her heart tug a bit from the statement, although she was unsure why. She didn't realize that her face was already turning red.
"Then why are you letting her keep that feather?" She pestered on.
"Because it's a best friends thing." Twilight quickly answered. Bothe Rainbow and Scootaloo looked at Twilight's red face, puzzled. How did she know Rainbow was about to say that exact same thing?
"Come on girls, the doctor said Rainbow didn't want to see us." Came Fluttershy's familiar voice from down the hallway.
:That's probably just whatever fancy painkillers they got her on." Came Applejack's unwanted voice.
"But he said Rainbow only wanted her daughter and Twilight in there!" Said Pinkie Pie.
"We are not leaving her in there with that... that... purple pariah!" Said Rarity.
"Hee hee, alliteration!" Said Pinkie.
Rainbow let out a sigh. "Twilight."
"I'm way ahead of you." Twilight said back to Rainbow.
She pointed her horn at the door and released her magic, causing the door to fully open and the doorway itself to be blocked off by translucent purple magic.
"You know, you could've just shut and locked the door." Said Scootaloo.
"Aww, where's the fun in that? Then we wouldn't be able to see the looks on their faces!" Twilight responded. Both Rainbow and her daughter giggled.
When the four ponies outside finally reached the door, Applejack tried bucking the barrier, to no avail.
"You let us in this instant!" Rarity commanded.
"What're you gonna do about it, fancypants?" taunted Scootaloo, as she stuck her tongue out at her best friend's sister.
"You little brat!" She yelled.
"Hay! Don't call my daughter a brat!" Yelled Rainbow Dash.
"Come on, if she doesn't want anyone but Twilight and her daughter, we should respect her decision. We should just leave now." Fluttershy said coyly. The other three turned and stared at her. She stared right back. Before long, they were all leaving the hospital, with Fluttershy staring them down like animals.
"Well, that was certainly interesting." Twilight observed. "I wonder if they noticed the feather".
With the door shut and locked, Scootaloo climbed up on the hospital bed, next to her mother. Twilight pulled up the unused hospital bed, but made sure to keep it about a hooves distance away from Rainbow Dash's bed, to prevent awkwardness.
Despite this, it wasn't long before Twilight found a Cyan wing draped over her. Twilight returned the favor and put her wing over Rainbow's, and they fell into a blissful slumber.
I wish to know why Twi's friends are being cunts
3973868 Have you read the entire story? It has not been mentioned clearly yet. You know what that means? I don't expect you to. In fact, if you did, I would be disappointed in myself for not being confusing enough.
Oh, and some people here are uncomfortable with the C-word. Just saying.
3973880 Srry habit, anyway I still wish to know wat these hints are since i didnt catch them idc if you pm me but i'd like to know mostly because i feel a bit lost
Luna doesn't use "we" to address herself
3973888 Yes, she does. If you've seen the episode Luna Eclipsed, she NEVER says "I". She always says "we", even when addressing herself. I think it has something to do with her still kind of having Nightmare Moon inside of her. Or it could just be from the Canterlot speak.
3973880 The main cast has been acting out-of-character for the entire story so far. You don't have to be so condensing to one of your readers idly wondering why that is.
I think I know what is going on. I'll wait till the reveal though.
Yep.
This is a new chapter all right.
3973868
My guess is that it has something to do with changeling, meaning, one disguised himself as Twilight and acted like an jerk in front of them, but instead of them being suspicious of that behaviour like Twilight was with Cadance, her friends reveal just how much they trust her and think she is an good pony by immediately assuming that was the real Twilight and not an changeling,and instead of talking to her to see if there was any issue that explains the behaviour or try to talk things out, they immediately revoke their friendship...so yeah, they are big jerks in this story.
3973896
If you're ever in a country with a monarchy or something of the sort you'll notice that the royalty speak the way Luna did in the episode. Not so much now because language has evolved, it was just something to seperate royalty from the "peasants" I believe.
3973880
I'm going to have to agree with 3973868 but I am capable of waiting.
Still calling OOC till we get an explain
3975178 *sigh* have you maybe considered that I meant for them to be OOC?
3974517 Not a bad guess.
3973989 I wasn't trying to be, but the point is: no one is meant to know 100% yet. And I enjoy being confusing.
3975275
Fine fine I'll shut up about it, I just like to know the reason behind why stuff happens.
It's why it can be incredibly hard for me to read incomplete stories sometimes.
Srry for the grief, can't wait for next chap
3973896 She only did that in Luna Eclipsed, in all the other episodes she's using modern talk and not Old English
3975344 Do not worry, you will have your answer eventually.
3975347 If you think about it, she's not shown talking in very many episodes. I have not heard her say "I" a single time. However, you are correct when you say she begins talking more modernly. But she still says "we".
3975360
Um... Season 1 episode 2... Just sayin...
I don't know why, but the feather thing always makes me cringe in cuteness. It's so... interesting.
3975360
It seems pretty clear to me that Chrysalis or some other changeling has been impersonating Twilight and sabotaging her friendships. I'm guessing RD just escaped the worst of it by pure chance, since she seemed to be just as confused as Twilight.
If that is the case, then it doesn't say a whole lot for Twilight's friends that they immediately severed relations and started insulting her at the drop of a hat rather than try to talk things out with her or something. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that, even once everything is explained, Twilight won't be able to easily forgive them because of that. It wouldn't be the first time they've turned on her due to changelings (coughacanterlotweddingcough), and they've said some truly awful things to her.
In any case, this is an intriguing story so far, and I'll definitely be keeping up with it. I mean, come on, you had my attention at "TwiDash Scootadoption"
3975511 3973868 3973989 3974517
I think it's the other way around. The changlings kid - er excuse me - pony-napped the other three and replaced them with changelings. This way she doesn't have to worry about forgiving them later or being accused of doing something bad. Just a thought.
3975465 shhh, none of that ever happened... *wink*
No but seriously, it just seemed more fitting for her to say "we". If you don't like it, that's fine. IT'S JUUUUUST FINE.
A hem, aj isa boch, rarity is a whoe, flutters is the most understanding, pinkie ie pinkie, twi is dashing, dash 7s sparkling, and scoots is confuzzeled.
one of the other doctors and I...
Twilight and I...but this is Rainbow, and she's no stickler for grammar, so it's up to you.
The trick is to isolate the subjects. If they don't sound right by themselves, you need to change them. For example:
And likewise...
Once you have that down, you can put the subjects in any order you'd like...
All are technically correct, but some ways flow better.
Anyway...I hope that helps. I like this story a lot...like...a lot, a lot!
3977648 Uh... MY BRAIN!!!
3977680 Yeah, the Rainbow one was intentional, and the doctor one... uh... UH...
3983953 Ok. I'm sorry. I was just trying to help. I wasn't meaning to sound like a dick.
3983995 Oh I was just messin' around. I' not gonna pull a... uh, he who shall not be named due to a clopfic that got so many dislikes and he went crazy and deleted all negative comments...
Do you have a pre reader or editor? I'm seeing a lot of errors throughout and the actual writing could stand to be work shopped a bit to flesh it out; a lot of paragraphs really feel flat, in a "this thing happened, it looked cool, then more stuff happened" sort of way. It really lacks a lot of description to pull the reader in. The pacing is also nearly break neck.
The concept so far is good but you really gotta establish the reasons for the personality shifts. At the VERY least give us some breadcrumbs to argue about in the comments here.
It's definitely getting there, I'll be following this but really run this by the author's help group. That could only improve things.
3984831 You want a bread-crumb to fight over?! FINE!
Twilight, now a princess, is stressed.
She only has one friend supporting her, and the rest tormenting her... except Flutters
WHO WOULD GAIN FROM THIS
SHIFT INLACK OF FRIENDSHIP?!Could it be... someone close to Fluttershy?
Could it be... an old enemy?
Could it be... one of them?!
Could it be... NONE of them?!
Discuss.
3987425 wow. You seriously just raged out about constructive criticism. Take a step back and look at how utterly petulant that looks.
I'm fairly certain that I am done with this story now that it's got an author meltdown going. Good luck with this, though.
3987457 Oh no, it wasn't the criticism, I greatly appreciate it. It's just that the story is INCOMPLETE. Have you considered the possibility that you aren't meant to know yet? That it will be revealed in future chapters? You aren't the first one to ask about part of this story before you're meant to know the answer.
When does Twilight start being badass?
3987856 It starts in Chapter 3 and continues later... along with some badass Scootaloo.
3987856 Wait... I know you...
3987865 You do? From where?
3987889 *Sigh* no one gets the joke anymore... you were supposed to say "You're making a mistake..." but anyways, Didn't I just see you repost this exact story in the Rainbow Dash group? Thank you for that.
3987674 But that's the main point of my criticism, the issue is that it doesn't feel like there's a mystery to be unraveled here. It just comes off as confusing. It feels more like "I must have missed something or skipped something by accident" than "I am in media res, and I am excited to put the pieces of the puzzle together". Being that, in my opinion, it feels like the former it is more frustrating and actually disengaging for the reader in direct opposition to the effect I think you want. Hell, even a paragraph or two between scenes as a very limited (like two or three sentences max in italics) flashback/history tidbit would do wonders. I'll post an example of what I'm talking about when I get to an actual computer.
Do you have a story outline? If not then I really suggest one to organize things.
3988086 If you read some of my previous comments, you will see that I enjoy being confusing. As I've said before, it will be revealed... eventually. But hey, lets change the subject to something random! I'm feeling a bit Pinkie Crazy!
So, how about that Queen Chrysalis, huh? She sounds like Meridia, and she has holes everywhere!
Well, I have underestimated pony medical facilities, as that was the fastest recovery I have ever seen.