Conquering Cold

by RationalCube

The Irony in a Name

Conquering Cold

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"I still don't know what I'm waiting for."
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Chapter 1: The Irony in a Name

Rational Cube was probably one of the least fitting names for a certain young stallion, who was shorter than most other earth ponies he knew. His mind drifted as he slowly made progress shoveling his walkway, a necessity considering the blizzard that was due the next morning. His mild scarlet fur didn’t really help with the cold though. It would have been so much nicer to be a black furred pony. Or maybe a taller pony. Or a pegasus- or even unicorn for that matter. Being an earth pony sucked.

For one, he wasn’t even able to shovel that well. His teeth were getting sore gripping the shovel for so long, and his boots were almost certainly frozen over at this point. If he were a pegasus, he wouldn't have even needed to shovel his walk. Celestia, that would have been great. Either way, Rational Cube still didn’t suit him very well. It was too mathy. He used to adore mathematics, but now… It was just kinda something that he never got around to doing. It used to be required- in school- but now that he was out of there, math was something that very rarely found its way into his daily routine.

He was glad that he was out of school. He could have gone for longer, he could have become an apprentice or learned a trade, in fact, he had wanted to do just that. His parents had been proud of him. He’d never really liked the south anyways, so he thought that when he finished grade school he’d move onto something bigger, and far away.

Ponyville sure was far away, he supposed. Well, not that far, but far enough. It was just about smack in the middle of Equestria, the three-dimensional triangle that whose corners were the south, Canterlot, and Cloudsdale. There were other cities and towns, of course. Manehatten was one that he’d been to for a very short time. He hadn’t liked it there. Too many ponies and not enough space. And then there were others. He could have run even further away, outside of Equestria. When he was in the process of moving, in fact, the short earth pony had debated going all the way to the Crystal Empire. That possibility was soon crushed when he found out exactly how much a train ticket would have costed him.

The little town that he lived in was nice, though. It had a nice little library in which he spent a lot of his time. He loved all- or, well- almost all of the books in that place. All of them but the books about the south. Sure, he had grown up there, but he’d been practically kicked out when his parents had-

The stallion shrugged his shoulders and sighed. He’d promised himself that he wouldn’t think about that. At least not for a while. He would have time enough in the future to come to terms with the facts. More time than his parents had given him. As he turned back toward his work, he faintly felt a strong wind blow over his near-frozen fur. He would have to finish shoveling the next day, after the storm.

Plowing through seven feet of snow was going to bucking suck.

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As the orange pony slowly made his way inside, he debated with himself once more. About his name- again. His parents had wanted him to be a scholar. Maybe a professor. His dad had been one, before he had moved down to Appleoosa with his mother. However, the young colt had preferred music over the more boring subjects. Language was running a close second, however, quite a bit in front of Mathematics and various types of sciences.

He wished he’d been named something that would fit his talent. Or his personality, for that matter. His old friends always used to laugh at him in Geometry class. He used to be able to draw circles easy, but straight lines never seemed to be his strong suit. Also, he was never very logical. At least he never used to be. How he acted used to be considerably affected by how he felt that day. He remembered that some days he would cry for hours upon hours, for no reason other than he was feeling a bit sad.

When he’d found music, however, his entire life had changed. Not only was he able to release his emotions in a safe- and not to mention beautiful- way, but he could also bring that joy to others around him. He loved singing most of all. He loved the feeling of being on stage, staring back at hundreds of smiling faces, and knowing all that happiness was created by a song that he had made with his own lips, teeth and tongue. That feeling by far outweighed the deeper, darker one that came up before going on stage.

Sometimes, when the stallion got stage fright, he would lay backstage, clutching his hind legs like a filly as he rocked back and forth whimpering the lyrics of a happy song to himself. Sometimes he would break down in tears. Sometimes he would throw up, and sometimes- very rarely- he would do nothing at all. Those were the best times. When he felt terrible and nervous, but when he knew that he would do amazing and he shouldn’t feel like he would let the audience down. He almost never did anyhow.

The young stallion sighed as he opened his door. He sighed almost all the time now. It was another way he could let out his emotions. It was satisfying feeling the air rush out of his lungs. Especially now, as he could see his breath rise and float away towards the clouds. They were so high up, so free above him. He almost wished he was on one right now. Nopony would know where he was and they’d probably leave him alone for at least one bucking second. Not that anypony really bothered him. All he got were a few curious and judgemental stares, not really any confrontation.

As he stepped inside the warm house, he thanked his past self for putting the kettle to a boil. He’d need something warm after working out in that weather for so long. First though, he stood by the fire for a bit. thawing his boots and frozen fur, taking a towel to his dark brown mane. He sighed again as he took the kettle off the stove, pouring it in a nice tea mug he’d taken from Appleoosa. This time, remembering how much easier it had been down there, where it barely ever snowed. He sat on the couch and pulled a book from one of his shelves, fetching a blanket to keep himself warm as he read.

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Mornings always seemed to sneak up on the orange stallion, and he’d never really been a fan of them either. He pulled back his curtains and gave a yelp of surprise as he was momentarily blinded by a sea of white. However, as soon as his vision had cleared up and the dark blue spots floating around in his eyes vanished, he looked back. Stunned by how beautiful winter could really be, even in the middle of a storm. It was his second winter, his second year away from… his hometown. If he could call it that anymore. He enjoyed the solitude of living up here as well as the constant change of seasons. And the diversity. Everypony here was different than anypony down in Appleoosa. And a lot were quite a bit cuter. Like that one cyan pony Noteworth-

Rational shook his head furiously. “Ya wern’t gonna think ’bout that! Stop it!” He didn’t usually talk to himself. Much less yell at himself. But when thoughts like that came up, he felt the need to. The stallion knew it would do no good, he liked colts just as much as any colt liked a mare, but he couldn’t help pushing back his feelings after how his mother and father had treated him. And they weren’t even the worst.

The stallion held back tears for no reason as he made his way across the house. He started humming a tune from way back when. His first performance in front of an audience. He couldn’t remember the words after so long, only the tune. It was a lullaby, he knew that. He turned back and walked the other way, still humming the same tune. Rinse, and repeat.

Almost thirty minutes later, the stallion noticed he had long since stopped singing to himself. All he was doing was pacing back and forth, biting his lips in what could be described as anxiety. That was what the Ponyville’s doctor said he had. Post Temple Something Disfunction or something. Apparently it was a big problem and, not wanting to argue, the stallion took his medication each day. Only two pills. That was it. No more, no less.

He remembered a story the doctor had told him. About a stallion almost as young as Rational himself. He’d had the same disorder. Apparently in an attempt to make his disorder lesson, the stallion had started taking more and more without asking the doctor. Apparently he’d died. Debating his own fate, the scarlet pony felt a prick in his lips where his teeth violently ripped through the flesh, bringing him back into his own reality. He stopped, realizing he had been pacing yet again. He looked down and saw a drop as red as his fur slowly make its way to the ground, splattering in all directions as it landed on the wooden floor.

The stallion quickly rushed over to the kitchen, grabbing two paper towels from the rack and placing them firmly on the spot, making sure no excess drips were anywhere. After a minute or two, the stallion found himself calm enough to make his way back to his kitchen, searching his cabinets for his pills before quickly plopping two into his mouth. Then, slowly, he made his way back to the couch he’d read on the night before, plopping open a book in an attempt to entertain himself until the storm ended.

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The sun had already started growing low by the time the earth pony finished his shoveling, and the shovel along with his lips were caked in frozen blood. What did you expect? Biting on your lips would have no consequences? Stupid good for nothing-. His self-directed insults trailed off as he hopped back inside, quickly fetching his saddle bag from beside the door, getting ready to return his books back to Twilight Whatever-Her-Name-Was at the library.

Today wasn't quite as cold as the day before, but it might as well have been. By the time the red stallion got halfway to the library he could already feel sharp points as every move stuck an icicle from his fur into his body. He felt a strong wind again. Then again, and soon he saw snow coming down as well. Sighing in annoyance and cold, the young stallion started to quicken his trot to a gallop, forcing himself to make his way to the library before another blizzard could hit.

The earth pony probably looked like a complete disaster by the time he made it to the library. Snow covered every inch of his body, not to mention the big chunk of red snow that was growing wider every second around his cut mouth. His deep brown mane had stayed more or less intact, however. He burst in the door, hearing a cry of surprise from what sounded like purple alicorn who ran the place. Before looking around to see who exactly had made the noise, he remembered manners and quickly stuttered out “Ah- A- Ah’m sorry, be right back” He took a step outside, shook himself off, and made his way back through the doorway, careful not to come in too quickly or leave the door open for too long.

It was then that the earth pony realized that the noise had not come from the alicorn, but from her assistant dragon, Spike… or something. He made his way back inside, taking off his iced-over boots while mumbling apology after apology to the young dragon, just barely catching a glimpse of battered hope in the assistant’s eyes. “Ah’m sorry a-a-again. Ah did- didn’t mean ta startle ya. Ah just- What’s wrong?” The helper looked close to tears when the earth pony asked that question.

“Oh, it’s just nothing. Twi’s out in the storm, that’s all. You can go to the fire if you want, I’ll stay down here and… wait. She’s probably at one of her friend’s house, if you want. I’ll be fine” Spike sniffled more than a bit. Rational could tell that the young dragon was scared for his friend, but he didn’t really know what to say. The pony slowly made his way to the back of the library where the fire was, dropping his books in the return bin on the way there. Looking back, he could see Spike take a seat next to the door, waiting, like he was probably doing before the earth pony had barged in. He’d been so rude to the poor little dragon.

Soon enough, the red earth pony noticed himself drifting off to sleep in the library. It was too late to go back to his house, and Spike had long since stopped waiting for Twilight. He was still worried, but she must have found her way to one of her friend’s houses by now. He made his way through the now dark library towards one of the couches he sometimes read in. On top, he could faintly hear the sound of another pony snoring. Probably somepony who had been there before the earth pony or had made his way in while he was drifting in between sleep and the waking world in the other room.

Careful not to touch the sleeping pony- earth pony, judging by the faint outlines in the dark- the earth pony made wedged himself in the small space beneath the couch. It would keep him warm enough through the night, and the faint weight of the couch on his back provided him with a sense of security. After a couple minutes, the red pony started his journey to sleep yet again.

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Rational Cube was woken pretty rudely to say the least. The feeling of another pony landing on your head is not something that most ponies want to be woke up with. “Ow! What was thet fer…” Still half asleep, the red pony attempted to rub his head in displeasure before realizing he couldn’t move his arm. At all. He was trapped under something heavy to say the least. Terrified, the pony’s eyes jolted open, only to see next to nothing as only gray pre-dawn light filled the room. He squirmed in fear, wondering who would kidnap him, who would bring him here. Nopony even loved him, they wouldn’t even get ransom money. He let out a cry for help into the night, feeling the pony who had been violently thrown on top of him toss and turn as well. He was completely oblivious to the fact that he was, in fact, perfectly safe inside a library.

After a few more minutes of terror, the earth pony calmed down. Nopony was going to save him, and he wouldn’t ever get out of what was keeping him hostage. At least not until someone let him out. Slowly, he opened his eyes again, giving his eyes enough time to adjust this time. He needed a plan of escape if he ever wanted to get out of here, and he might have already ruined his chances by screaming so loudly. After a while, he saw rows of books upon books, and a diagram of the stars on the ceiling. Who would keep these in a place where they would kidn- Oh.

Rational breathed a sigh of relief as he took in his surroundings. He wasn’t trapped. He was in Twilight’s library. Also, he could get out from under from the couch just fine. If only the bucking colt who’d fallen off the couch would move from above his head. He felt his cheeks and ears heat up in embarrassment before he closed his eyes and rolled back into sleep.

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Author's Note:

I guess it's time for me to get around to actually writing my first fic. Thanks guys for reading this, I plan to continue it if people actually like it. Or maybe if I just get bored like I did today. I just kinda wrote the first thing that came to my mind. I wanted a pony who moved from the south who did a lot of music, but the only pony who remotely fit that criteria was Braeburn, who I didn't really want to put into here.

Anyways, this chapter probably really sucked. Thanks for reading it though. Please, PLEASE rate it and comment on how I could improve. I tried mixing my own experience with anxiety and panic attacks, and as a heads up they can become pretty dark.

Thank you once again, and I hope I can keep writing this story~