Underneath the saccharine veneer of Equestrian society there dwell the morbid, ominous realities unknown to most. Rainbow Dash and Big Mac are of the few who know something is wrong. Together they must stop the madness which threatens Equestria.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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As a veteran myself, I can understand that rage... I've had to fight it for well on a decade, and it never goes away. It really does get to you; you think about doing things to people that aren't right - you get a sick thrill over the thought of physically hurting others, and it makes you sick for hours afterwards. It got so bad one week that I physically evicted myself from my own house in fear of what I might do to my wife... You never truly leave the war-zone, or at least I never did.
Thanks for bringing this subject out there. Not many people actually know about Battlefield Rage.
Aside from the gratuitous cursing, this looks to be a good story.
A bit more profanity than I prefer, but still an interesting and promising start.
I have to admit I was a tad put off by the upvote/downvote ratio, but whatever people don't like about the story, it isn't the writing quality. Maybe something pointlessly horrible or egregiously out-of-character happens later on? Only one way to find out!
The writing style is unique, certainly, with character thoughts interjected at random giving the whole thing a quasi-stream-of-consciousness edge to it. Slightly confusing at first, but I learned to appreciate the way it gives a deeper feel for whichever character is the focus of a segment.
I also liked how the cruel corporate budgeting that derailed Rainbow's life was completely justified later on in the same scene. I do love me some hardcore budgeting.
Looks good so far. I'm really happy that I did that search for stories with AJ in them, because it came up with a bunch of stories that were 200-500 K words long, including this one.
Your writing style is interesting, with the dialogue being in italics and the characters' thoughts being in normal text (this is backwards compared to other writers), but you write well, and the story holds promise so far.
Good job!