Your Human and You: The Nightmare of Gaia

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Comments ( 13 )

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Lelouch Vi Britania

Lelouch Vi Britania #1 · Feb 9th, 2014 · · · Ch 2 : Meet up at Table Mountain ·

I command this story to stop!

Praeco Nigrum

Praeco Nigrum #2 · Feb 9th, 2014 · · · Ch 2 : Meet up at Table Mountain ·

3917097 Might i ask why oh master Lelouch?

Brimstonne

Brimstonne #3 · Feb 9th, 2014 · · · Ch 2 : Meet up at Table Mountain ·

Ugh, whyd this site get a like system.

Buckwood

Buckwood #4 · Feb 9th, 2014 · · · Ch 2 : Meet up at Table Mountain ·

3917137 So that we'd be able to, at a glance, have an idea on how good the story is.

Or, I at least assume that's the intent.

[edit] And I'm also going to guess that people not familiar with the concept are thrown off by all of the Lelouching in the description, it sort of reads weirdly.

Lelouch Vi Britania

Lelouch Vi Britania #5 · Feb 9th, 2014 · · · Ch 2 : Meet up at Table Mountain ·

3917099
As a code geass fanfic, not too bad. As a pony fanfic, it should have pony in it, in my opinion, by the first chapter, or very early second. Also, the way your main character gets to what I'm assuming is equestria is fairly unoriginal and rather contrived. Other than that, spelling and grammatical errors.

Praeco Nigrum

Praeco Nigrum #6 · Feb 9th, 2014 · · · Ch 2 : Meet up at Table Mountain ·

3917321
3917319

First off i would like to apologize for my asshole-ish demeanor in my previous comment, so for that I am sorry.

Second I would like to point out that all of this was written on an IPad... while being constantly bugged by a very annoying younger cousin... So now I am going through very quickly and fixing all of my errors and such so that it reads much cleaner and with more fluidity...

Also I am going to fix the way the chapters have come out by placing the right information in the correct chapters... yay screwy working of a jacked IPad...

Trot C. Foxy

Trot C. Foxy #7 · Feb 9th, 2014 · · · Ch 2 : Meet up at Table Mountain ·

Granted the intro of him entering equestria could have been better, but I'll follow this for the sake of story.

Relyt23

Relyt23 #8 · Feb 16th, 2014 · 1 · · Ch 2 : Meet up at Table Mountain ·

Okay an idea for Cornelius's Geass. How about give him the ability that Wrath from Fullmetal Alchemist has. You know the Ultimate Eye. It makes sense because kings are known to be masters of battle and this is the greatest battle eye based ability I could think the Geass could provide right now. Of course later in you can always improve upon it.

RevengeS197