Scootaloo didn’t dream that night. It took her a lot longer than usual to get to sleep and even when she did she would wake up and shift around repeatedly. By the time the sun had risen, she felt groggy and even had a slight headache. She felt the tree trunk beneath her and sighed. “Stupid tree…”
Yawning, she stood up and flapped down to land near her scooter. Least they’re good for something, she thought bitterly. She was about to reach for her scooter and then she paused. “Oh no! My job!”
Seeing that the sun was much higher than it should be on her mornings, she jumped onto her scooter and bolted away from the trees. Slowly, memories from the previous night came forward. She shoved them aside knowing they wouldn’t help her in any way. She made it to the building where her boss normally waited for her. He was there along with a stack of papers. She skidded to a halt and started breathing heavily while doing her best to give the scowling guy a friendly smile.
“I—”
“One more day. If you are ever this late again I will let you go,” he said sternly.
She gulped, actually believing him this time. “Y-yes sir.”
He kicked the papers to her and actually helped her attach the company wagon. “Now get to work!” he barked and she was off.
Stupid job, stupid tree, stupid… crusaders!” she thought harshly and hurried to get her work done. She hurried for the first few houses, hoping no ponies would be complaining about the late paper. After the next ten, she realized that nopony seemed to mind at all so she did her job at the regular pace. The last place on the list was always Twilight’s library, she left it on the welcome mat and scooted over to a nearby bench. Panting for breath and wishing she had a bottle of water or something to quench her thirst, she sighed. “Stupid job.”
For a while, she let her mind drift from random thought to random thought trying not to think about what happened the previous night. She could only distract herself for so long though. It was truly a depressing feeling to be alone again. But what choice did she have? Her friends were too… she couldn't think of something, but she knew that going back to them wouldn’t work.
Wait, I have Rainbow Dash! She can hang with me. Her spirits brightened considerably. Not like I have anything else to do today! At least that’s what she thought. There was something nagging at the back of her brain, other than ‘find some food’, but she couldn’t pin it. She shrugged and hopped back onto her scooter.
On her way to Rainbow’s cloud home, her stomach began to rumble. She ignored it and simply speeded up. I’ll find food for you later, stupid stomach. Her environment shifted from homes with thatched roofs to green plains and hills soon enough. She looked up to the house for a few seconds, then back down to glare at her wings. Stupid useless wings! Her only option aside from magically sprouting better wings was to call up, but what if Rainbow didn't want to be bothered? A sense of doubt started to form at the front of her mind. Maybe it hadn’t been the best idea to come here.
“Boo!”
Scootaloo jumped so high she nearly hugged a cloud. She fell down quickly and was about to scream when she landed with a thump. She looked around and noticed a certain pegasus was holding her and chuckling very loudly.
“Geez squirt, a bit jumpy, huh?”
“Rai-Rai-” She tried speaking but coughed a few times and shook off her nerves. “Rainbow Dash!”
“That’s my name! Last time I checked at least…” They both giggled and she set Scootaloo down on the ground. “What’s up?”
Scootaloo flopped onto her side. “Oh lots of weird things.” Dash nodded and sat down on the ground, stretching but ready to listen. “I ended up in this weird shop that had super huge baby things.” Dash stopped stretching for a few seconds but then shrugged it off and kept going.
“Heh, that does sound weird,” Dash said, unusually quiet.
Scootaloo didn't seem to notice and kept going. “And then Sweetie Belle told us she was this weird, uh…” she wracked her brain to think of the phrase, “…well, big baby thing so I kind of snapped at her. But that’s just wrong! We formed the club to find our cutie marks and grow up, bleh, stupid baby stuff. Right, Rainbow?”
Rainbow finished her stretches and went quiet for a few seconds. “Heh, sure sounds dumb to me.” She said with the same air of confidence that the mare always had.
Scootaloo grinned, glad to know she had done the right thing. Maybe she could help her teach Sweetie a lesson and then things would go back to normal. Then she blinked when she noticed that Rainbow looked ready to take off.
“Look, Scootaloo, I’m sorry to just take off, but I kind of need to meet Twilight. Do you mind if we also do your lessons next week?”
Scootaloo’s spirits instantly soured, but she had learned over time how to hold back certain body signs. It came in handy when she needed others to not notice her distress. Her smile didn't waver and her ears never flattened. “Uh, sure! Heh, I’ll keep practicing like you showed me!”
Dash nodded and was about to take off, but then she gave her a nervous grin. “Stay sweet, Scoots!” She dashed off, nearly causing a rainbow explosion in the process.
Once Dash was out of earshot, the filly threw up her hooves in irritation. “Great! Now what do I do today?” She angrily asked the grass before her. “And… stay sweet? She’s never said that before.” Unless she meant to keep my skills sweet? Her thoughts went nowhere though so she gave up on that. Tapping her hoof on her handlebars didn’t get her anywhere either so she dashed off.
She tried doing some tricks on her scooter, however her fatigue from before had completely taken over her body. One jump on her scooter later and she was already exhausted. I can’t hang out with my friends or ride around on my scooter or hang out with Rainbow! So what can I do?!
She wracked her brain to think of something that would be secluded away from others and wouldn’t take much energy. She did remember that Rainbow had said reading Daring Do was fun, maybe she could rent a book from Twilight. If Rainbow loves reading, it can’t be that bad. Plus I’ll see her there! Sweet!
She started walking her scooter in the direction of the library, with a new plan to read, of all things, for fun.
“Twilight?” She called up, not seeing anypony around, she shrugged and sat in the public viewing area. She tried to spot a section that would have the books Rainbow talked about, figuring the two were upstairs.
“Is somepony here?” Twilight called.
“It’s me Scootaloo!” she called back as Twilight popped her head over the railing. “Sorry to bug you and Rainbow, but I wanted to check out a book.”
“Um, Rainbow isn't here, sweetie. But I would be glad to get you a book to check out!” Twilight sounded like a school filly, or even Pinkie Pie, while she practically bounced down the stairs.
Rainbow’s not here? She thought that was odd but shrugged it off, maybe she wasn't here yet even though she was quicker. “I was just kind of bored and was wondering if you had any Daring Do books.”
“I sure do! Which one did you need?”
She scratched her head, watching the mare smile at her. “I guess the first one? I’ve never read them before.”
“Oh, alright then!” Twilight said, humming an odd tune as her magic kicked in. The book slowly floated down and Scootaloo snached it up. “Did you need anything else?”
“Um, no I guess not. Did Rainbow already show up, by the way?”
Twilight’s smile faded while she blinked a few times. “I’m still not sure what you mean, Rainbow Dash hasn’t been here all morning.”
Scootaloo furrowed her brow. …What? “But she said she was gonna see you today,” she said out loud before she could stop herself.
Twilight looked down in thought. “I don’t remember needing to see her later today. Still, things with Dashie can sometimes get—”
“Why’d you call her that?” Scootaloo asked, thinking it was a weird thing for Twilight, of all ponies, to say.
Twilight blushed slightly but shook it off. “Habit, its a lot easier to say Dashie then Rainbow Dash all the time, or I guess Dash. At any rate, it’s possible Rainbow needed to see somepony and mixed up the names. I couldn’t imagine her lying to you.”
“I guess everypony makes mistakes. Alright, thanks for the book, Twilight!” Scootaloo began to carry it out the door.
“Oh, no problem! Just make sure to bring it back in a weeks time!”
Outside, Scootaloo had darted off, hoping to catch some glimpse of the cyan colored mare. Even if she didn’t have practice for a week, it would still be nice to see her once in a while. After searching outside for an hour, she decided to try the mare’s closest friends, starting with Fluttershy. The book could wait, even if walking her scooter took forever.
“Hey, Fluttershy, you seen Dash?”
Fluttershy jumped a bit but composed herself when she saw who was there. “Oh, Scootaloo. No, sweetie, I’m sorry.”
She exhaled violently in annoyance causing several birds that had gathered around Fluttershy to scatter. “This is the worst day ever.”
“Oh dear, well everyday is a second chance. They can’t all be good.”
A wave of pleasant feelings washed over Scootaloo and for a moment she had forgotten where she was, but it only lasted a moment. And in that time Scootaloo had figured out that Fluttershy was using the same calm voice that Twilight was using, it again unnerved her. Not only was it the same tone her Mother often used to take, it was the same thing she would tell her on bad days. The filly closed her eyes for a moment to bite down her emotions.
“I guess so, yeah. Thank you, Fluttershy.” Scootaloo immediately perked up but was giving a fake grin. Fluttershy was no stranger to these types of smiles but merely nodded and smiled in return. She then quickly jetted off on her scooter.
Why does everypony I talk to lately have to talk like Mom?! Ugh. Her stomach rumbled all of a sudden and she sighed. I have got to stop skipping meals. Better make it to Sugarcube Corner, maybe I’ll see Dash there. She quickly applied a course correction and made it to the bakery in record time, her own records in her head that is. She found the establishment and walked inside. To her amazement she found Pinkie Pie working the register.
“Scootaloo! Hiya! What can I get ya?”
At least Pinkie doesn’t act like my mom. She cleared her throat and gave a quick scan to the treats behind the glass. “I’ll take two chocolate donuts please!” Pinkie smiled and handed over the treats. Scootaloo paid a few bits and took a seat over to the side.
Before she ate, she did a quick count on her bit bag. I’ve been spending more lately… or things are getting more expensive. Maybe I should just forage for food for the next few days. She didn't like the idea, but she had to make up for lost bits. Halfway through her first donut, she looked up to Pinkie. She knew adults, and she knew that most of them would get frustrated when doing chores or work, even she got that way. But Pinkie, she had always been happy to do any sort of work. Scootaloo munched away, wondering how she could always be so cheery all the time. At least that’s how Pinkie normally acted, but today she seemed a bit off.
“Hey, Pinkie?” Scootaloo piped up.
The mare blinked a few times and then quickly smiled and looked to her. “Yeah, what’s up, Scoots?” She cringed at that nickname but kept it to herself.
“It’s just… you look kind of frustrated. Are you okay?”
Pinkie blinked again and started to shuffle her hooves nervously. “Well, it’s complicated, Scootaloo. You see…” She trailed off, thinking it over and then sighed. “I guess I could just use a break is all. Between watching the twins, running the shop, paying bills, pranking ponies and giving Gummy a full body massage!”
Scootaloo wondered to the heavens above why exactly an alligator needed a massage.
“I just need a break, but I can’t right now. Oh well.” She shrugged and still had a smile, albeit a tired one.
Scootaloo nodded, feeling a tad sad that she couldn’t help out. Silence took over the bakery once more for a bit.
For unknown reasons, perhaps curiosity, perhaps on a hunch, Pinkie decided to ask a question to the filly. “So, how has life been treating you, Scoots?”
“Hmm, okay I guess.” She figured Pinkie didn’t need to know about the fight with her friends. Maybe I can ask her where Dash is when I’m done though.
“Hmm, are you feeling lonely?”
That was an odd question, the filly decided. Still she couldn’t just ignore it. She was feeling lonely so she nodded. “Sorta. Rainbow Dash kind of flew off from me and I’ve been looking for her I guess.”
“Huh, you know, me too. I needed to let her know a few things…” She looked back at her tail, of all things, and started wiggling it. “Usually my tail starts moving about when she’s causing pranks and mischief, but not lately.” She poked it a few times angrily but nothing happened. “Well, I’ll talk to her later.”
“But I need to talk to her now! This stinks.”
Pinkie shook her thoughts aside and began to think. “Why?”
“I just… have some problems and needed my big sister’s advice is all,” she said weakly before going back to eating her other donut to negate her nervousness.
“Hmm, you can’t see your big sister but you need advice,” Pinkie said with all the seriousness she could muster.
Scootaloo almost chuckled at how serious the pink mare was being over the smallest of things. Her own issues couldn’t be that concerning to anypony, she was just Scootaloo. Nothing special.
“Hey I know! You could ask your mom! It’s what I do when I need advice, I just write to her.”
A piece of the donut got caught in Scootaloo’s throat, and she was forced to swallow it harshly. “Well…”
“How is your mom anyway? I haven’t seen her in ages!” Pinkie exclaimed.
Scootaloo wasted no time in replying. “She’s doing great! She just gets real busy is all.”
Pinkie paused but did not move. Then she nodded. “Well, that’s good to hear. I still remember throwing her and you that first party when you both moved in. You were so nervous!” Pinkie’s normally bubbly self piped up once more.
She’s dead… Scootaloo thought bitterly while she chewed on her donut much slower.
“I still remember you hiding under that table, I scared you good,” the mare replied with a sincere giggle of her own.
“Heh, yeah that was fun alright.”
She is dead.
“It was only one of my best parties ever! Oh, first you were all…” Pinkie continued to talk and talk about the party that Scootaloo knew all too well. The pink mare had somehow gotten over her exhaustion. Every mention of her mother made Scootaloo feel angry towards the party pony but she kept it well hidden.
She… I miss you, Mom.
“Oh, and then… Hey, are you okay?” Pinkie asked in a concerned tone.
“Wha? Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks for the donuts, but I better get going.”
Pinkie nodded and stared as Scootaloo left in a flash.
Poor scoots.... The entire town is babies.... Its anarchy!!
3884165
My advice is this: if you want to have another story about a foal having strange feelings and realizing that they're an infantilist, don't set it in the same universe as your other story about a foal having strange feelings and realizing that they're an infantilist. It comes off as cheap, exploitive, and fetish-driven, like yaoi stories where every single male character turns out to have a kawaii crush on another male character.
The original story irritated me because I don't like infantilism and I wasn't warned before I read far enough to realize what was going on. But that aside, it was a somewhat unique take on something that people typically write as explicit fetish material. That's what it had going for it--the unique way in which it was presented, exploring the character's psychology rather than her sexuality.
This one is the exact same idea retold with different events and words. It even has the same phrasing in the summary. Simply retelling your old story strips the new one of any literary value it could have had, because we already read this idea. People who are into the lifestyle will naturally enjoy it regardless and favorite it, but if you're trying to bring in a wider audience, you need to be more creative.
Also, I don't think this should have been rated E, but that's just my opinion. The way I see it, stories that center around things like this should at least be rated T even if there's nothing explicit, because you are dealing with some pretty racy subject matter that some people may still be bothered by. Presenting it as acceptable for anyone is disingenuous marketing.
That's just what I have to say about this. I'm not a fan of ab/dl stuff, but you're not a bad writer, especially compared to a lot of the other people who post these things. Your other story was at least an interesting take on the psychology behind why people would want to do such things.
I notice the new chapter has repeated use of the word "sweet". I get why you've done it, including its slight double meaning (there's a reason why nopony has referred to more than one pony as 'sweetie' in canon, and the word 'sweet' is rarely if ever said).
It's a creative use of language.
3885829
That the two descriptions are so similar is one of the reasons why I don't think Scootaloo is likely to choose that lifestyle. Scootaloo has a different problem (homelessness) that can be described with similar imagery.
3885863
But in the summary, we have this:
We have Scootaloo observing ponies preparing for and discussing their infantilist activities within the story, just like in the other fanfic, which contains identical descriptions of emotional turmoil experienced by the protagonist and which in the original leads to her having an interest in the abdl lifestyle. The author is also called abdlpony, which implies this lifestyle is one of the main aspects of his identity as a writer, and he used to have some other infantilist stories as well that he apparently deleted.
If we apply Occam's razor to all the information available, producing the simplest explanation of what the outcome will be given the large number of infantilism-related ideas within and surrounding this story, we can conclude that this is going to be a story about Scootaloo becoming an infantilist.
While I'm sure all of us who are into ab/dl things appreciate you being so restrained and being big enough to admit when someone is a legitimate writer even when you hate the stuff they write about. (I can tell your being civil which is awesome) Ab/dl stuff isn't always sexual in nature, I suppose its community has not helped its image however. Most will see a fetish, which saying no one is into this when it comes to things of a sexual nature would be a lie. But I truly believe not all of us are into this just because it turns them on.
Also, so far I don't see many similarities to Taboo Feelings, any and all are there because this is a sequel to that story, at least I hope so... 3885829
3885898
We've already seen aspects of infantilism, and we are likely to see more regardless of whether of not Scootaloo joins in.
No, I'm becoming more confident that this will be a story where Scootaloo learns to accept that aspect of her friends' lives, but won't make it her own life.
And while I know as good as nothing of the lifestyle beyond what I can glean from these two fics, I can see that Sweetie and Scoots are not taking the same paths.
I can see the possibility of Twilight, or less likely Fluttershy or Rainbow Dash, taking on a caretaker role over Scootaloo, I also think Scootaloo is likely to reject the offer.
Finally, I made no judgements about the author's name because I have never heard of that acronym before. To me, it could have just as easily been their own initials or a random set of letters in the same vein as xkcd (chosen as much for their unpronounceability as a word as for any other reason). Even now, I can guess what 'a' and 'b' each means easily enough, and 'd' I have a hunch about, but 'l' is an unknown to me.
3885923
I have no doubt that there are a lot of reasons one would engage in such a lifestyle besides just getting off. It depends on the degree to which you're into it and what you do, I suppose. But nevertheless, society is not going to recognize a 35 year old man wearing Pokemon feet pajamas as 'normal' for the same reason that we can't shout "I clop furiously to Twilight Sparkle's delicious futa dick and fat pony plot!" in public places. It's socially abnormal, regardless of what its practitioners believe it should be regarded as.
And you can never unsee stuff like Deeker's website. It haunts you for the rest of your life and affects your perception of all related activities from that moment forward.
I don't think infantilism is wrong, personally, but the idea of wearing a diaper as an adult, period, is just icky to me. I avoid reading about it, though this story caught my interest for the same reason the other one did--it looked like it was about something dark or deep like sexual/gender orientation, or abuse.
Even more reason why it should be different. Sequels should be more than rehashes; they should add something new to the series. Think Terminator 2 vs. the original Terminator. Except with diapers, I guess... ugh, I don't want to think about Arnold in a diaper.
Just ignore the parasprite. If he really didn't like the material present in the original then I have no idea why he's reading the sequel. My guess is he just wants to nitpick about something.
In any case it seems like Rainbow Dash may be involved in the same sort of secret as Pinkie Pie, Sweetie Belle, and Mrs. Cake. And Twilight and Fluttershy may potentially be caretakers. It seems like, oddly enough, Applejack is the only noticeable authority figure that's not tied to any of that. Unless, she is.
Not to turn this into a joke, but you would be (or not be) surprised what Japan considers normal from time to time. Deeker is one of the examples that painted us in a bad, bad light aside from the obvious. I'm glad you think its not wrong though. I guess I can see how an adult wearing a diaper would be considered icky, but *shrugs* you don't have to be into it. Arnold in a diaper happened in Robot Chicken ha. As for being a rehash, I guess its a matter of opinion, I don't see one yet. If you see examples though that are clearly copied or rehashed from the first story then make another comment and point them out. 3886001
Well...
This isn't... a good situation...
No family anymore? Check.
Ponies acting weird around her? Check.
Strange business for 'big foals' in Ponyville? Check.
Scoots being reminded of the sour days of life? Check.
Poor Scoots.
I'm seriously awaiting her breakdown.
Dragon
3890123 Or you know she could slowly start becoming batmare.
3894011
Even better!!!
Dragon
3894011 Scootaloo as a caped crusader of the night? Now that sounds like a fanfic waiting to happen.
It already exists, It Runs in the Family. 3900170
3885811 Heavy: Entire Team is BABIES!