An ice cold prison
Sombra lifted his head once again feeling the familiar cold chills, the tiny ice droplets felt like needles when they touched his fur,if he was bleeding he wouldn't have been surprised.He could no longer feel his back-hoofs from the torture of the ice cold floor and his eyes blurry from the long sleep he had been through, the only part of his body he could move where his front hoofs but even then they where in chains on the wall, the chains themselves made of ice and enchanted by a lock only a goddess could break.
As if automatic Sombra,after his eyes had become accustomed once again to the snow realized the situation he was in and pulled against the ice cold shackles,making the sound echo to rest of the small dark cell. It was of course to no prevail,even he knew that nothing could break the chains only she could. And Celestia,Luna and Cadence never would.
If only he had not been defeated by that putrid unicorn and her five much lower friends,not forgetting that dragon.Right now he would be crushing her beneath his hoof ,watching her take her last breaths and watching her life slowly slip away.Then of course he would once again become king but with more land,those who ignored his will would be punished,to the brink of death and the beautiful unicorn mare Twilight sparkle would me no more.The mere thought of it made sombra smile.
"And i would take back what is mine" Sombra grunted to himself realizing his snout was not frozen and not expecting any answer than the voice of the wind when he heard a slight rattle of chains nearby.
"W-who's there?" asked the charcoal unicorn to the darkness curious as to who it was
"why would you care?" replied the voice with a few more rattles of the chains,its voice in a raspy tone as if it had been crying.
The voice seemed somewhat familiar the unicorn,was there a chance somepony else got sucked into this prison cell as well? If anything it could be one of his slaves, them being depressed and not being able to torture them for an eternity would be a real pain though.But if it was one of the main six or better Twilight sparkle the torture would be more bearable slowly breaking there sanity.
Sombra's small train of thought stopped as he heard more of the pony rattling its chains,fiercer this time almost determined to get out.
"No matter what pulling you do you will never get out of there you hear me!?only an abomination called a Alicorn can break it"
"really?............thanks" said the disembodied voice rasply again which was followed by a small clicking sound of chains being pulled off the wall.
"Your a alicorn?" groaned the former king almost saddened it was obviously one of the princess's torturing him about being stuck here alone and cold.
WHO DID THEY EVEN THINK THEY WHERE? NOBODY MESSES WITH KING SOMBRA!!
But then Sombra realized he was in prison,reality hit him hard.Still he wasn't going to be mocked without a fight.
"You may be a princess,whoever you are,luna,Celestia,cadence I don't care but just leave now! I WILL be king one day and even in this state you wouldn't want to mess with me......so just leave!". A long awkward silence filled the small cell,the former king looked out into the darkness almost waiting for it to leave.
Finally getting frustrated the charcoal unicorn thought carefully,even though these chains where enchanted Sombra had found a way around it and could do small spells like mind reading and levitation.
"Leave!" groaned the unicorn again before using a light spell and filling the cell with a bright light revealing no other than Twilight sparkle.
Sombra looked shocked at the Alicorn Twilight he knew the purple Alicorn was powerful but powerful enough to get upgraded to the state of a Alicorn? that was something he would never receive. Suddenly another thought filled the unicorns mind why on Equestria was Twilight even here? she didn't know where he was imprisoned the only reason she would be here was if she was a prisoner........
"What would be the point of leaving?" Asked the lavender mare replying to the question;her position quite awkward as though she was hiding something.
"All my friends have turned against me,even my mentor they hate me now and theirs nothing i can do about it i might
as well just stay here and freeze to death"
Sombra was confused. What did she do that was so bad she got sent here? in the ice cold prison Sombra had accepted as home;sobbing even more the alicorn still sat awkwardly,covering her eyes.
"What did you do...." asked the charcoal stallion curiously
"do you want to see?" asked Twilight angrily showing her green,purple mist flowing eyes staring right at him.
"and how?" the stallion said even more confused......twilight was like him.
The purple alicorn moved out of the shadows and sat next to Sombra her old enemy
"do you really want to know?" she sighed realizing her state and the mess she was in.
"what ever but what did you do that was so.....evil???"
"massacre,I wanted power simple i guess that's what happens when you play with dark magic not even knowing your using it...so is my life"
Sombra didn't say anything, he was just happy he wasn't alone anymore, in the way that hes not alone in the prison and that he's not alone in mind
Interesting story I liked it. I think you have potential to write some really good stories, ya just need to keep at it and you'll get good. :P
Needs a little help with formatting, but its a very interesting idea.
Liked the story. And yes, should you continue writing this story. I would be very happy.
3807700
ill continue it then! :)
3807942 YaY
SWEET MOTHER OF NIGHTMARE MOON! A NEW CHAPTER!! I NEED TO GET MEH MAGIC POP CORN MAKER! AND MEH MAGIC POP MAKER!! IT HAS OVER 40 NEW FLAVORS AND MEH MAGIC LAZY CHAIR *grabs magic pop maker and magic popcorn maker and hops onto the floating magic lazy chair*
3807942 SWEET I U!!! FOR CONTINUING IT :D
and oh by the way WHERE THE HAY! IS THE STORY SIMALLER TO THIS! I thought I favorite that story
3807942 nvm I found it ..... I might just go on www.roblox.com and ROLE PLAY THE SHIT OUT OF IT WITH MATURE RATED SHIT!! .3. ... BUT FIRST I need to get rid of this awkward boner O_O that I randomly got
Why the hate, this was actually pretty good
3810854
Thank you! i can't believe 10 pony's actually missed the like button! i worked hard on this
3810861 depending on how your next chapters go I may be able to get some people to read this
Good concept, poor excecution. And not just grammar/spelling, either.
3810863
thanks im thinking luna going into the dream world or something (kinda sounds like kirbys dream world lol) and seeing twilight go trough a disturbing nightmare about being a queen,and having absolute power. im thinking twilight could have too conflicting personalities or something these are just ideas though
whay do you think
3811014 As long as Twilight kicks some ass Idc
Soo... First, you really need to get an editor to give this a once-over. Second, you should definitely continue this.
and now for minor grammar tut:
there's: there is
their's: belongs to them
pony's: belongs to said pony
ponies: more than one pony
hoofs: no.
hooves: yes.
,: used to symbolize a short pause, and always followed by a space.
It would be sad if it was cancelled because it sure looks like it has a lot of potential.
Oh and I think Moon Shade's post rounds up what I wanted to tell you pretty well.
3827311
i wanted to continue this right away but im sick at the moment,thanks for your comments though!
A few gramma mistakes, but who am I to talk
I think you should carry on, I'd like to know where this is going
Please do go on.
this looks like its going to be good. please continue.
Please do continue as I love the Twibra fics
I like the set up. I'll be a keeping my eye on this
Very good idea. Keep going because I would like to see this go very far. There are not many fan-fictions in which we have a Sombra-Twilight shipping that actually makes sense and is interesting enough to read. And in which Sombra and possibly even Twilight are made/are evil and are able to see eye-to-eye and just 'click' with each other. However, I would seriously suggest getting an editor or two. This story has so many spelling and grammar errors that anyone even remotely interested at first would rather go find a different fan-fiction to read rather than trying to fight through the jumbled up words and letters. Even I can say that even though I am quite interested to see this continued, I almost left this story to find another when I kept running into error after error. But this is just a little bit of advice and encouragement to inspire you to continue. If done right, this story could easily rank up there with Past Sins and An Affliction of the Heart; Volumes 1-4, and Bride of Discord and Daughter of Discord. Do not give up, as I'm sure that there are many other readers that would love to see this story continued. Do not give up.
3959630
Thank you
I'm trying to continue right now but I'm starting to go to sleep....ow well
omg that is amazing
4163883
thanks
4167315 show a good bit of promise, keep up the good work
4167414
once again thanks
your support keeps me going :)
4167444 I can help you develop this more if you want, All I want in return is a follow
4167534 UH I already follow you, so do you return the favor? If not okay
4167545
jeez i was only joking!
ill delete
4167546 hey what April Foals Day without jokes or pranks
4167566
.....
4167618 so when shall we start
4167632
well this is it so far
..
ill message you!
4167637 I'll be waiting
Oh fuck yeah
Feed the never ending horde of readers...
*Edit*
No, Forget what I said,
CHOKE US WITH THINE GENIUS AND MAKE US SHAT YOUR INGENUOUSNESS INTO MORE AWESOME!
4215496
other some grammar mistakes, I would like to see more in the near future
At last a Sombra X Twilight story that does not have Twilight joining Sombra at the 'dark door' or what ever that illusion door is called, or have Sombra win and brainwash Twilight! Nice job by the way, you left so many loose ends and questions that get readers asking and wanting to know more without using the classic starting points most writers use.
i can help you with the story
i could help too.
Best story ever
MORE
when can the next chapter come?
I see some potential... but I would be unable to tap it for i am a beginner fanfic writer...
5273905
might, might not....wait and see
5299274 i am waiting XD