Prompt #12 - Special Delivery (Maud Pie, Trixie Lulamoon) [Adventure, Comedy, Random]
Prompt: In Equestria, there's no such thing as a "simple" rock farmer.
Maud Pie didn’t like to use pickaxes, trowels or shovels. She didn’t like to use tools to force the rocks out of hiding. She felt bad for them, she could feel how scared they were. That’s why her preferred method was digging a small hole with her hoof and gently extracting the rocks that she uncovered. Sure, it was a slow method, but it also made the rocks feel safer, more secure. And a happy rock is a strong rock.
Besides, the extra hours meant nothing to Maud. She loved rocks, and she loved farming them. The more time she could spend around them, the better. The fresh air, the open dirt fields, the one or two trees, the rock-crabs scuttling about… it was the very image of heaven to Maud.
But of course, it wasn’t all fun-and-games. Rock farming was a serious profession, and it came with its hard responsibilities and dangerous tasks. Farming the rocks was simply stage one of the process, but stage 2 involved cleansing them.
Sometimes evil spirits or dark magic would be trapped inside a rock for many, many years, only to be uncovered later by the Pie family’s farmers. They would need to be taken to the top-secret cleansing facility beneath the Pie family’s house in order to be cleansed in a long, complex ritual, that needed to be performed perfectly lest the lives of all present be rendered to dust and the land of Equestria be exposed to threats the likes of which they’d never seen.
Thankfully there were no such rocks found thus far on that day, so our story does not revolve around that. What it does revolve around is stage 3 – the delivery. Which was still a dangerous and by all means a lengthy task.
In Canterlot, they have fancy airships and paid delivery ponies to get the job done. The Pie family does not. Well, two workers they hired from a nearby town, but for the most part they must make all of their deliveries themselves, which would sometimes take them to faraway lands, to unknown terrain, or even into the heart of a dragon’s nesting ground!
It was all very exciting.
Maud stopped her work when she saw her father approaching her. “Workin’ hard as usual I see,” he said. Maud noticed he was carrying a familiar-looking purple bag on his back.
“What’s that?” Maud asked in her trademark disinterested tone.
“Somethin’ we found while clearin’ out the guest room for a new worker. Seems our last one left it behind an’ I was hopin’ you wouldn’t mind runnin’ a lil’ errand.”
“You want me to return it to her?” Clyde nodded his head. “Okay. But where?”
“Last I heard she was spotted in Ponyville,” Clyde said as he unloaded the bag onto the ground before Maud. “Maybe you could drop by your sister’s new home and spend some time with her.”
“Sounds nice,” Maud said as she looked down at the bag. “Are you sure you don’t need me here?”
“We’ve been pullin’ in good profits this year. I think you can spare a day or two off. Just make sure you pick up the mace on your way out.”
“I will.” Clyde turned to leave as Maud reached down towards the bag and hoisted it onto her back. She then followed after her father, stopping when she reached the family house. Just inside the front door was an assortment of tools, armour and weapons for the family to use. Maud grabbed the mace and a vial of holy water and then left for the train station. ‘This bag is heavy. What could Trixie have in here? Didn’t she approach us with nothing?’
The train ride was as relaxing as always. For some reason, whenever Maud would enter a cabin, ponies would all move to the back, offering her plenty of free spaces to choose from and the chance to be alone with her thoughts.
Maud’s mace sat beneath her seat and the important delivery she had to her side as she watched the passing scenery outside of the window. A reflection of three stallions behind her caught her eyes and she turned around to see who they were.
“You’re a Pie, aren’t ya?” the middle stallion asked. “Off on a little errand to deliver some o’ your premium, high-quality rocks to some bigwig up in Manehatten?”
“I’m getting off at the Ponyville stop,” Maud replied. “And I’m not delivering any rocks today. Unless that’s what’s in the bag. In which case I am delivering rocks today.”
The stallion scowled and took a step closer. “Look missy, maybe you don’t get who we are. We’re the rock mafia. We own the rock market in all of Equestria, an’ we’re tired o’ you simple farmer-types down at that barren wasteland you call a home cuttin’ in our business.”
Maud’s eyebrow descended by an entire millimetre. “Our home isn’t a ‘barren wasteland’. Plants can grow there, but that interferes with our digging, so we just mow it really close.”
“Do I look like I care?” the stallion asked, reaching a hoof forward and grabbing Maud’s chin. “Here’s how it’s gonna work: you take this train back where ya came from an’ tell your father that he’d better clear out by nightfall. Him and his entire family. Capiche?”
“But I have a delivery to make,” Maud said simply.
“Don’t you get it? We don’t freakin’ care! You stupid-”
Maud detected the stallion’s increasing blood level and spotted his hoof rising in an aggressive manner. Before it could so much as move an entire inch Maud slipped out of the stallion’s hold and headbutted his gut, winding him and sending the stallion flying backwards.
The stallion to his left responded by throwing a kick towards Maud, who had vanished before his very eyes. “W-Where did she go?!”
“I’m here,” she told the two confused ponies as she karate chopped their shoulders from behind, knocking them both out. She walked past their unconscious bodies and took her seat, resuming her leisurely view of the outside of the train window. “I like trains,” she said to nopony in particular.
Upon her arrival in Ponyville, Maud found the town to be very different to how she remembered it being. There were strange lizard-like creatures crawling over town and hanging onto the walls of houses, and the residents were running around screaming in panic.
She stopped one of the screaming residents in her tracks – a green unicorn mare with a lyre for a cutie mark – to ask her for directions. “Have you seen a blue unicorn today?”
“Blue unicorn? Oh, yeah!” the mare excitedly said as she pointed towards a building just down the lizard-infested street. “She lives there! I think she’s free now, so you can just go on in.”
Maud looked over the town one more time. “Is this normal around here?”
The mare nodded. “Yeah, pretty much. We’re only panicking ‘cause it gives us something to do.”
“I see,” Maud said as she moved past the mare and into the street. “Thank you.”
“No porb!” the mare replied with a wave. She then cleared her throat, took a deep breath, and resumed her running around and screaming.
Maud ignored the lizards as she passed them by, save for the one that leapt towards her with malicious intent. She smacked that one in the face with her mace. As she reached the building indicated by the green unicorn, Maud raised a hoof and knocked on the door.
“Coming!” a voice called out from inside. An unfamiliar one. The door opened and Maud’s eyes widened by two centimetres as she beheld the blue unicorn mare on the other side with a toothpaste mane. “Hello. Can I help you?”
Maud calmed down and reverted to her normal look. “Oh. It seems I got the wrong pony. Sorry.”
“Oh.” The two stood in silence for a couple of seconds. “Well… can I still help you?”
“I’m looking for another blue unicorn called Trixie.”
The mare put a hoof to her chin. “Ah! I do believe I know who you’re referring to! Unfortunately, I can’t help you much there. Trixie passed through here some time ago and I can’t say I’ve seen or heard from her since then.”
“Do you know where she went?”
“I don’t, be she took the road leading to Baltimare, so-” That was all Maud needed to hear. She turned and left. “Ah, wait! That was months ago! She could be on the other side of Equestria by now!”
Maud didn’t care. She had a delivery to make, and she was going to- Maud quickly dodged to avoid the acid spat towards her.
She had a delivery to make, and she was going to make it!
“Ah, sure! I remember that chick!” the construction stallion said to Maud and her put his hoof to his chin in thought. “Let’s see now… I’m pretty sure she said somethin’ ‘bout headin’ up north. Maybe she was on her way to Horseshoe Bay? Mare looked like she could use a vacation, y’know?”
“Hey! Look out below!”
Maud nodded. “Thank you.” She turned around and walked away, the heavy girder falling above her stopping as she lifted a single hoof into the air. She threw the girder to the side and continued on her way.
“Oh, yes yes, I remember zees mare!” Maud didn’t know how she got roped into a full-on spa treatment at Horseshoe Bay, but at least now she was finally getting some information out of somepony. “Yes, she vas very demanding! Had a lot of tension in zose shoulders, let me tell you!”
“Where did she go?” Maud asked as the masseuse applied some pressure to her back.
“I believe she said she took ze train to Appleoosa! Silly girl wanted to go to Los Pegasus but took ze wrong train, jaa?” Maud, confused by just what dialect this pony was speaking, simply nodded in response. “So, how do you like ze spa treatment?”
“It’s adequate,” Maud said in a flat tone.
The massage ended promptly. Maud looked up to see the masseuse looking at the mare in horror, before turning around and running away with a foreleg over his eyes, a stream of tears following behind him. “I’M A FAILUUUUUUURE!”
“… I had better get a train to Appleoosa before it gets dark,” Maud said as she climbed off of the massage table and left the towels behind before leaving.
“The ‘Great ‘n’ Powerful’ Trixie?” Maud nodded in confirmation. “WOOWEE! Lemme tell ya, that was one dynamite gal!”
Maud shook her head. “Trixie carried around fireworks, not dynamite.”
“No, ah mean she was smokin’!”
“Trixie didn’t smoke, though I suppose she could have started.”
The stallion facehooved himself. “No, what ah mean was, she was attractive! Beautiful! Sexy! Amazing figure! Kinda mare ah wouldn’t mind bein’ trapped in barn wi-” The stallion stopped abruptly and twisted his face as if to hold in a scream.
“What were the two of you talking about, Braeburn dear?” a little buffalo said as she appeared from behind Braeburn.
“L-Lil’ Strongheart! W-We were jus’, uh… talkin’ ‘bout the sun?”
“We were talking about a mare who passed through here called Trixie,” Maud said. “It seems he has strong feelings of attraction towards her.”
“Oh, ‘sthat so?”
“N-Now ah was jus’ jokin’ around!” Braeburn said, sweating as he backed away from the angry buffalo. “Huh? What’s that, pa?! Ya need mah help pronto?! Well, y’all heard the man!” Braeburn took off quickly.
“Oh no you don’t!” Little Strongheart shouted as she gave chase, leaving Maud on her own.
“Oh. Maybe the train station saw her leave.” Maud would have slapped herself for not thinking of it sooner, but she didn’t want to hurt herself. That would have accomplished nothing.
After finding out that Trixie had taken a train to Los Pegasus, Maud followed suit and found that Trixie was staying at one of the hotels there. The hotel itself was confusing, though, and she somehow ended up in the casino portion instead of the lobby where she was planning on waiting for Trixie to pass her by.
As Maud attempted to find her way out of this strange place, she felt something beneath her hoof. Looking down, Maud found a bit on the floor. “Oh. Somepony dropped their money.” Maud picked the bit up and looked around. There was a pony sitting at one of the slots right beside where the bit was located. “Did you drop-”
“NOT NOW! I gotta concentrate!”
Maud dismissed the rude behaviour and decided to simply place the bit into one of the empty machines and give it a go. She had never tried gambling before, and she was curious as to what it was like. She pulled the lever and watched the dials spin.
7
7
7
Lights went off, bells rang, and silence fell around Maud for a second before bits shot out of the machine and ponies crowded around her.
“That was boring,” she said as she turned and forced her way through the crowd of ponies. “Entirely luck-based, not appealing to watch, and the prize is too big and impractical to carry around.”
When Maud finally reached the hotel lobby, she asked the receptionist about Trixie. Unfortunately, it seemed that she had just missed her. Trixie had left the hotel and was heading for the train station. When Maud caught up, the train to the Crystal Empire had already left, with Trixie onboard.
“I’ll just have to wait for the next train,” Maud said as she stood at the edge of the platform, waiting patiently for the next train to arrive…
A cold breeze passed over her. Maud turned around and walked towards the indoor café situated beside the platform.
The Crystal Empire was big, and it was made entirely of crystal. Crystal walls, crystal light, crystal snacks, crystal clouds, crystal crystals, and even crystals ponies. Maud liked it. It was clear from the five extra degrees her lips curved upwards as she walked through the city. Though that bugged her a little bit; why call a city an ‘empire’? That just made no sense.
After asking various citizens about Trixie, Maud finally got a definitive location of where the mare could be found. The crystal pony she was talking to pointed a hoof towards a nearby fruit stand. No, not the stand. The Crystal Palace behind the stand? No. The other side of the town? … The Crystal Mountains.
Maud would have sighed, but she didn’t like wasting air. She thanked the nice pony and continued on her way.
Harsh winds. Slippery hoofpath. Lower oxygen levels.
The only solace that Maud found in all of this was that she was surrounded by rocks. Rocks, minerals, crystals… and even a few fossils in the sides of the mountain, likely not having been extracted due to risks of an avalanche.
Maud finally found a nice, large cliffside with a sign signalling the end of the avalanche zone and decided to sit down for a second. And with the second over, Maud stood back up and continued of her way. She took one step before suddenly realising that the world was spinning.
Her vision was blurry, her legs were tangled, and she could feel blood rushing to her head. Fatigue at such a time? Maud couldn’t believe she let something like that happ- Where did the ground go?
Maud could feel herself falling down quickly and could do nothing but watch as the blurry mountain above her grew smaller and smaller… and then she stopped.
As Maud’s vision corrected itself once more, a blue hoof was in sight, grabbing her own. Maud lifted her free hoof to grab a hold of the one saving her and felt light all of a sudden. The magical aura around her answered that question. She was being lifted by magic.
After being placed down gently on the cliffside, the mare who had saved her simply gave Maud an arrogant grin and small chuckle. “So, even Miss Supermare herself has some weaknesses?”
Maud felt herself heating up, but thankfully her body knew better than to show its own embarrassment for the world to see. “Thank you.”
Trixie could see no signs of red on the mare’s coat, but there was something in her tone of voice that gave it away. “Could it be that you’re blushing right now?”
“I think you’re imagining things,” Maud replied before reaching the bag behind her and setting it down before Trixie. “I have a delivery for you.”
“Oh, is that Trixie’s old bag?” Trixie asked with a curious gaze.
“My father found it in the guest room at our house.”
Trixie blinked. “Ah… Well, this is awkward.” Trixie’s magic opened the bag and revealed what was stashed inside: rocks. Loads and loads of rocks. From valuable to just regular old pebbles. “Trixie was planning to sell these to the rock mafia, before she realised how well your father paid.”
“Oh.” Maud nodded. “Then yes. This is a situation I would call ‘awkward’.”
“Well, guess you came all this way for nothing…” Trixie reached into her cape and pulled out a small wand. “We can’t have that! Now let’s see here…” Trixie tapped the wand against Maud’s shoulder and it poofed into a bouquet of flowers.
“I don’t really like flowers. I like rocks.”
“One second.” Trixie threw the bouquet into the air… and it vanished. Suddenly and without any logical explanation. She then pointed a hoof to Maud’s side. Maud turned around and found that she was now standing in a bed of roses made out of rocks.
“Oh. Wow.” Maud raised her forehooves and clapped once.
Trixie grinned and bowed. “Yes, well, contain your enthusiasm,” she said, knowing from experience that a clap from Maud was the equivalent of an applause from anypony else.
“But one problem,” Maud said. “How will I take these back?”
“Uh… same way you brought them here?”
“But it’s your bag,” Maud pointed out.
Trixie waved a hoof dismissively. “Trixie does not need it anymore. Go ahead and keep a hold of it.”
Maud looked down at the bag, and then back up at Trixie. “Are you sure?”
“Positive! The Great and Powerful Trixie has so many bags, she doesn’t even know what to do with them! Why, she is practically swimming in bags!”
Maud gave the mare a deadpan stare for a few seconds. “You’re a little obsessed with bags.”
Trixie narrowed her brow. “Yeah. I’m obsessed.”
Maud reached into the bag of rocks and pulled one out. It was a pink geode that glistened in the sunlight. “Here. It’s for the bag.”
“Trixie said that you could just take it,” Trixie said.
“It’s not rock candy necklaces,” Maud said, “But we should still trade something before we part ways again.”
“Rock candy necklaces?” Trixie asked.
“It’s something my sister and I do whenever we meet. She said that I should do it with all of my friends from now on.” Maud pushed the rock towards Trixie. “Your bag for my geode will have to do for now.”
Trixie simply stared in wonder before looking down at the geode. “But is that okay? Doesn’t this belong to the Pie family?”
“It’s mine,” she said. “This one came from my own personal collection.”
“You can- Look who I’m talking to. Of course you could tell,” Trixie muttered as she took the geode. “Wait. Trixie took them all from the barn.”
“Of course,” Maud said. “I treat my personal collection of rocks special. Rocks don’t like being put on display. It makes them nervous. They also don’t like being separated from their friends or family.”
Trixie sighed but smiled regardless. “Well, whatever. Very well then. Trixie shall accept this gift from you, and she shall drop by the farm again at some point to collect this candy necklace of yours!”
“Oh. Okay.” Maud closed the bag and hoisted it back onto her back. She couldn’t help but notice the cut on Trixie’s leg. “You’re hurt.”
Trixie looked down and then suddenly remembered what she was doing earlier. “Ah… How good are you at running?”
“I got the fifty-sixth place at my school’s sporting events.”
“That’s-”
“Out of fifty-six students. Why do you ask?”
As if on cue, the ground shook violently as a loud thumping sound thundered above the two mares. “Have you ever accidentally stepped on a mountain spider’s egg whilst hiking before?” Maud shook her head before Trixie grabbed her hoof. “Well then, this will be new to you.”
Maud looked back as she heard another thunderous sound behind her to see a giant spider approaching the two mares with a very angry look on its face, just before Trixie jumped off the side of the cliff, pulling Maud with her.
Maud returned to the rock farm in the late evening, whilst Celestia was just getting ready to set the sun. She opened the front door and dropped off her things. The mace covered in green goo was placed beside the dirty dishes in the kitchen, the empty vial that had been used to blind the spider queen was placed on a shelf with other empty vials, and the bag of rocks was set down in the living room so that Maud could remember to sort them tomorrow.
“Welcome back,” Clyde said as he lowered his book and looked at Maud. Her face was cut, her dress was torn, there was a trail of blood down her mouth and she was covered in green goo that didn’t look very appetising. “Rough trip?”
“No worse than usual,” Maud replied. “I’m going to take a shower.”
“Don’t forget to exercise any evil you pick up so the rock spirits won’t come a’knockin’ at night.”
“I won’t,” Maud said as she grabbed the emblem of Terra, goddess of the earth pony tribe, and proceeded up the stairs chanting prayers of sanctity.
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Rocks: Serious business.
Well they are. Coal. Shale. Diamonds.
Except diamonds. Diamonds are a scam.
4095676 Diamonds are just coal lumps putting on airs. Sure, they tell the girls they're their best friends, but...
Ah, Maud, ever the determinator. Good story. Maybe she should have signed up for the hot rock treatment instead of a massage.
Well, that was exciting. [/monotone]