“Ugh, seriously? It’s not that hard, Twilight!” Rainbow Dash smacked a hoof against her face and groaned into it. She’d been giving Twilight flying lessons for the better part of a month, and Twilight still couldn’t get the basics down.
Rainbow Dash wasn't known for being a patient pony. When things came easily to her and not for others, it was easy for her to become frustrated. But for the most part, she'd stuck with Twilight and tried her hardest to get her to show improvement—but to no avail. Every single day, they'd gone out to this field and practiced. Rainbow Dash would watch as Twilight attempted to get off the ground, give her some pointers and encouragement, and would witness as it all went down the drain and her friend plopped back down to the earth.
It was more than disheartening on her spirit. Could she really be that bad of a teacher?
“I’m sorry, Rainbow,” Twilight said, standing up on wobbly hooves. That was the fourth time she’d fallen flat on her face, just within this practice session. “I’ll try harder this time.”
Rainbow landed in front of Twilight, frowning. “I’m starting to think this is a lost cause,” she muttered under her breath. Then, louder, she said, “This time, make sure to flap both of your wings at the same time. That’s what keeps you balanced.”
Twilight nodded her understanding, screwing her face up in concentration. She beat her wings once, twice… The ground beneath her hooves dissolved, replaced with an airy emptiness. She dared not open her eyes now. That always led to her freezing up and falling back down to the ground.
“Keep going!” Rainbow couldn't believe how high Twilight was getting. For once in all the time she'd been working with her, she was actually getting somewhere. If she could maintain it, then they could go on to the next step! Excitement coursed through Rainbow Dash as she cheered for her friend.
However, on the other end of the spectrum, Rainbow’s voice had broken the calm spell that had fallen over Twilight. Her friend hadn’t sounded this lively in weeks. Twilight’s heart started beating faster, and sweat beaded down her face. If Rainbow was this pumped up… how high had she gotten?
Twilight tensed, and couldn’t stop herself from cracking an eye open. Big mistake. The alicorn’s wings locked up at once, and she only had time to gulp before she was falling back down to the earth. Wind tore at her fur and burned her eyes.
“Hold on!” Rainbow exclaimed from somewhere above, and it was mere seconds before strong hooves wrapped around Twilight’s midsection, halting her descent. But despite having only been falling for a short time, it felt like so much longer.
For Rainbow Dash, her victory was short-lived. She was tired of watching Twilight fail over and over again, no matter how hard she tried to get the pony to learn something. It was starting to wear down on her own confidence. If Twilight couldn't fly after a month had passed, it seemed unlikely that she ever would. And that would be a reflection on Rainbow Dash, not Twilight.
Rainbow dropped Twilight on the ground. “That’s it, I'm done.”
“W-what?” Twilight managed from her spot on the grass. She trembled from the adrenaline still coursing in her veins.
“I'm sorry, Twilight, but I can't handle this anymore. I'm not cut out to be a teacher, I'm really not.” Rainbow Dash waved her hoof in the air. “I think you should start looking for another pony to teach you.”
The pegasus spread her wings and took to the air. Twilight flinched at the burst of wind that lashed back at her, but she knew it wasn't done on purpose. Rainbow Dash seemed to be more upset with herself than anything.
Once it’d died down, Twilight poked a hoof at the ground and said, “This is my fault.” She glared back at her wings, useless as ever. “Stupid things. I didn’t ask for ‘em.”
Twilight sulked for a few minutes more before deciding to head back home. She was used to the stench of failure at this point, but Rainbow quitting was something new altogether and it dragged her down far more than a simple flight problem. Rainbow Dash was the Element of Loyalty and a pony with a lot of confidence. If she thought she couldn't teach Twilight how to fly, then nopony could.
Spike greeted her from within the library, “Hey, Twilight! How was practice today?”
She collapsed into a chair and planted her muzzle into the wooden table. “Terrible, I’m never going to learn how to fly.”
The soft tapping of baby dragon footsteps sounded in Twilight’s ear. “Don’t you think you’re being a bit… I don’t know, over-dramatic?”
“No!” Twilight snapped her head up and looked at her dragon assistant. “Rainbow’s one of the best flyers in all of Equestria, and she just told me I needed to look for a new teacher! If she thinks I’m a lost cause, then there really is no hope. Princess Celestia will be so disappointed when she finds out...”
“I think you’re making this into more of a problem than it really is,” Spike said, crossing his arms over his chest.
“No, Spike, this is serious! Princess Celestia will probably banish me from Equestria when she realizes how much of a failure I am. Especially since she’s halted my studies until I’ve learned how to fly! I’m not even allowed to check out a book from the Canterlot Archives until I can do it, it’s that big of a deal.”
“Wow, that sounds serious.”
Twilight sighed, hanging her head. “It is, Spike. And that’s why I need to break the news to her right away. There is no other pony that could teach me how to fly if she can't, so I might as well accept that.”
“Are you sure about that?” Spike asked, unsure.
“Yes. Now, take a note.” Twilight cleared her throat as Spike hesitantly grabbed parchment and a quill.
“Dear Princess Celestia, I regret to inform you that I am completely unable to fly. My mentor, Rainbow Dash, has come to this conclusion as well, and has quit. I’m afraid this is what it amounts to, and I’m sorry to be such a disappointment. I'm prepared to receive my due punishment. Your faithful student always, Twilight Sparkle.”
Spike frowned. “I don’t think this is such a good idea, Twilight. Haven’t you stopped to think that maybe Rainbow Dash just let her frustration get the best of her? I’m sure she’ll come around.”
“Just send it, Spike. If Rainbow changes her mind, she’ll tell me.” After a while, Spike shrugged and lifted the parchment, letting a fiery belch devour it. The wisp flew out a nearby window.
“I wish you’d listen to me more often,” Spike commented dryly. Within moments of his statement, he belched again and another letter replaced the one he’d sent. The dragon opened it.
“My most faithful student, Twilight Sparkle. There’s no need to be sorry. If your mentorship under Rainbow Dash’s wing wasn’t working out, why didn’t you tell me sooner? I’ve made arrangements for another pony to try their hoof at teaching you. She should arrive tomorrow, and I expect you’ll have more success this time. And remember, I await the good news. Princess Celestia.”
Spike set down the parchment after he’d finished reading. “...I wonder who the new pony is.”
Twilight looked as if she was glowing with happiness. She jumped up and down with a grin before pulling Spike in for a hug. “She’s not angry with me! Yes!”
“Put me down, Twilight!” He grabbed at his sides. “I don’t feel so good…”
The alicorn placed him on the ground and continued her joyous dance. Not only was Princess Celestia not disappointed in her, but she was sending another pony to teach her. Maybe this pony would be more experienced in teaching and finally be able to get her off the ground! Spike burped and another letter appeared. Twilight stopped dancing and stared at him as he opened the second one.
“I almost forgot to mention which pony you should expect. My apologies. I’ve contacted Spitfire, the captain of the Wonderbolts, to be your flight teacher. She is perhaps the most talented in this regard. I’ve enclosed a photograph of her so you know who to expect come morning. Princess Celestia.”
Twilight gasped and snatched the letter from Spike. She re-read it and pulled out the picture that had been included. “I can’t believe this! The captain of the Wonderbolts? I've never even had a real conversation with her!”
The alicorn gulped as she recalled the most recent instance she’d seen her up close—the time she’d gone to the Wonderbolt Academy to deliver a care package.
“…She’s going to kill me!”
Hot stars!!!!
Phew! It's not Soarin! Otherwise I would have caused you an uproar of people replying to me!
I look forward to more of this. This is a pairing I actively like seeing more of.
4013328
I'm the same way. There needs to be more TwiFire... I barely see any at all. I'm glad you've enjoyed the prologue, though.
4013326
Do you dislike Soarin' and Twilight shipping?
4013344 Yes. Soardash all the way motherbuckers.
Yay , uncommon pairings are awesome.
I could have sworn that Twilight met Spitfire in Hurricane Fluttershy though?
4013388
Yes, but they didn't really get the chance to talk or necessarily get to know one another. Still, I understand what you're saying and will re-word that passage a little. Thanks for letting me know!
(Also, uncommon shippings are awesome.)
I've seen this ship once or twice, never really got into it, but I've never had a reason to be turned off of it (Unlike, say, Twilight x Rainbow Dash ) so I'd like to see where you're going with this.
Though I am curious about the possibility of Twilight x Wild Flower, but that's not here or now.
Now calm down, Twi, keep in mind Dash is the impatient type. Also, it's possible the problem is with the teacher, and not the student.
4013444
I've always had a soft spot for this shipping for some reason, though I'm not entirely sure why. But despite that, I'm glad you're giving the story a chance! I hope it doesn't disappoint. (I agree with you on the problem being with the teacher and not the student, though. Poor Twilight, haha...)
Thanks for reading!
This is a boat I have not heard of before. But I am intrigued....
4.bp.blogspot.com/-Cb8sCrhrXEY/UQBXfzoMCYI/AAAAAAAABe4/m4PsZ8SILAA/s1600/django-meme-generator-madam-you-had-my-curiosity-but-now-you-have-my-attention-1c91f2.jpg
4013406
True, she's seen Spitfire in person several times, but we've never seen them properly introduced.
Anyway, let's see more of the Scholar and the Flymare!
Not a bad story at all. For the most part your characterization is good, and the plot is engaging. Pacing pretty good as well. I do have one problem with the story though...
This seems rather out of character for RD. As she herself put it in episode 2, she'd never leave her friends hanging. While we have seen her get frustrated with things, I have a hard time believing the Element of Loyalty would just give up that easily, even after a month. She's teaching Twilight flying. She knows first-hand how difficult it can be for younger ponies (See: Scoots) and adult ponies (See: Herself), and I personally feel she'd understand that Twilight's going to have a tougher time of it, given she's only had her wings for a month. Granted, you may have a chapter later where she does cool down, reconciling with Twilight, but this really stuck out for me as a reader.
That being said, I do think I'll have to keep an eye on this one. Keep up the good work.
Wow, that was a painful read! Only Spike was remotely in character and that's only because of his lack of lines.
So let me give this straight, Rainbow Dash, a pony characterized to never give up on her friends dumps Twilight almost right off the bat because she's having difficulty learning. Twilight acts wangsty about her inability to fly and even worries about Celestia banishing her....despite being Princess herself now.
Celestia naturally doesn't even bother encouraging her to have more faith in her friend and instead has the second half of the ship waiting in the wings.
Other problems with this story:
Because you know, it's not like Celestia doesn't know the disadvantages of pressuring anypon- Oh wait she does!
Overall verdict? Neat shipping pair, no thought in actual structure with pretty out of character MCs. All in all it looks like the story is going to focus more on the ship itself to the detriment of all else, just to make things work. Rainbow Dash a loyal friend? Ha! Author ignores this entirely just to have an excuse to get Spitfire in the picture. On top of this, Twilight's characterization completely ignores the development she's gone through up to this point.
I think shipping characters for the sake of it isn't enough to make a good story.
4014692
I appreciate that you're pointing this out to me. First of all, I'd like you to know that this is by no means my best writing (especially the characterization), and I did exaggerate some behaviors on purpose. While the only tag on this story is romance, I did want it to have some comedic elements, which is the reasoning behind some of the character's actions. (Still, in the recent Discord episode, Rainbow Dash did just leave her friends hanging. Just something to think about.)
I'm sorry if you do think the story was painful to read. This is really not a good representation of my work at all, so I hope you don't think poorly of me as a whole. The prologue was only meant to get things started in a comedic fashion that might make it more interesting, not come off as poor characterization or that I didn't care for the characters and what they'd already been through.
I hope you stick around for at least another chapter so I can show you that I can write something that is worth reading. If not, I understand.
4014974
I'm inclined to agree. Please don't think that this story will be fluff-filled and completely pointless (as in lacking conflict) if you do read further. I understand the prologue was really short and may seem like things are going to be that way, but don't be deceived. On the other hand, if you don't like stories that focus only on a pair of ponies, this may not be the right story for you.
4014260
Thank you. I'll admit, Rainbow Dash probably wouldn't do that, but I don't think it's fair to paint her as the perfect representation of her element. I hope that if you do read more of the story that it'll be something you enjoy.
4015213
But it isn't comedic. It's just silly. Twilight might be a bit neurotic, but at this point, she's evolved past the "Oh no, the Princess will banish me!" freaking-out stage. Rainbow Dash might be impatient, but she's also experienced enough as a coach—and loyal enough—to stick with a friend who really needs her help. And the new Discord episode is hardly a counter example. The writers simply needed to get everyone but Twilight out of the picture as soon as possible. I'd also argue that Dash didn't see Discord as a threat, hence why she was OK with leaving the others to deal with his shenanigans.
Great story, but I don't like the characterization that you have given Rainbow Dash. I understand you had to write that in to explain why Twilight would need Spitfire to teach her, but I think it would be a better idea if Rainbow just decided that she was not good enough to teach Twilight and recommends that maybe she ask Princess Celestia to send a better flight instructor.
k interesting... short... but good
RD seems a bit off... maybe make it where she was having a bad week or something, and she comes back when they were going to practice next and say that she did not mean it... or something... i dont know... but I understand why you did what you did.
needs to be longer... thats my major thing here....
im looking forward to the next part, hope to read soon!
4015213
As already pointed, Rainbow didn't leave her friends hanging for it wasn't one of her friends who had a problem.
Can you tell what purpose?
About my previous comment, it was more of a warning. Be sure this upcoming shipping part will have a solid basis and good reasons, as well as a step-by-step evolution, for too many stories and people tend to only focus on the kisses and "I love her mane" stuff
It's a nice story. You have a odd ship, but if you make it work then, it works.
I wouldn't worry about rainbow being OOC. You can argue she is out of character, but I can easily picture her getting fed up, frustrated and saying something that she either didn't mean or would latter regret. Really she dose it a lot. (You can also do some bits when rainbow comes back to help again, but now twilight is training with spitfire. Oh the havoc you can play with that. )
Your writing is good, or you write well enough that I can't find anything to complain about.
My only complaint is not a whole lot happens. I know it's a prologue, but I this is my pet complaint.
Yep, a bit OOC.WHERE THE LOYALTY DASHIE? :P
You know what's funny? People complain about Rainbow's disloyalty being out of character in this story, but she has abandoned / been prepared to abandon her friends multiple times in canon. (The whole group in Ticket Master, Fluttershy in Dragonshy, Pinkie and Rarity in Last Roundup, Pinkie in Mmmystery on the Friendship Express, and Twilight in Canterlot Wedding)
4017791 If anything, she is more likely to give up due to the reasons you mentioned. She has a tendency to get irrationally angry at minor things and storm off. This is a prime example of said incident. Sure she might come around after a while, but cooling off takes time and Dash would rather just go at her own pace. Will that's my opinion anyway.
But the story itself is good, and TwiFire is adorable when done properly.
<omg omg omg omg omg nuuuuuuuuuuuuu)
4015469
I understand. It was just the first example that came to mind. But there are plenty of instances where Rainbow Dash isn't the best representation of her element.
4015775
Don't worry, Rainbow Dash isn't going to be characterized this way for the entire story. I can see why you don't like the way she's been written so far, though.
4015781
Thank you! I'm glad that you like it so far. And about the length--I assure you, the following chapters won't be so short. This one only was because it was a prologue.
4015874
My reason isn't exactly as noble as I'd like it to be. It's kind of like how a person really likes or admires something, but it isn't meant for them specifically. (The Cutie Mark Crusaders in "The Show Stoppers" would be a good example of what I'm talking about. They were all talented in one area, but wanted to pursue something else.) I think the style of writing I'm trying to imitate is really cool and I wish I could pull it off in a way that works. Except, I'm terrible at it and should probably stop trying at this point.
I'm sorry if that doesn't make any sense.
As for taking it slow, I'll be sure to. I have the same opinion as you when it comes to shipping stories; if it goes too fast, it feels unnatural. I'll do my best to avoid that.
4016404
I'm glad that you're enjoying the story so far! Also, I agree that not a lot happened, but I promise a lot more of a satisfying chapter will come next.
4017791
Yeah, I didn't realize it was going to be that big of a deal.
4018382
Thanks, and I know what you mean. I hope I'll be able to write a good story for a ship I care about.
This is the start of something interesting.
Spitfire is my 2nd favorite background pony and Twilight is my 2nd favorite of the mane 6, so i think i will enjoy this fic.
Looking forward to the first chapter. (i say that because this is a prologue and not a chapter. Just my view on things. )
Oh Twily, you so silly!
Has promise and that's not just because it's a twilight x spitfire fic hope it's a long one.
Looking forward to more.
You have my curiosity. I'll be following this.
And, I'm gonna agree with some of the other comments and say that Dash was excessively cruel. I can understand getting frustrated, given her personality, but she completely gave up on Twilight, insulted her, and stormed off. That's pretty harsh by any measure, let alone doing it to one of your closest friends. Even more so because Twilight was making a genuine effort.
Seems like a ripe opportunity for a "What the hell, hero?" though. I do hope that at the very least Dash regrets what she did and apologizes later. Perhaps that's how she finds out that Spitfire is teaching Twilight?