“Twilight, what have I done? Why did it have to end like this? The last thing you saw me do was hurt you, the last thing you heard me say was full of hate and lies. No, I don't even deserve to regret anything. I just.. .All I deserve is pain. I feel it all now... It hurts Twilight, it hurts so much.” She spoke softly to herself, laying in the dark. The emptiness she felt before, completely replaced with the dull pain of guilt. She had long since lost the strength to scream or cry, now all she could do was let the pain wash over her as she awaited the death promised by Guilt. Then, slowly, she noticed her shadow growing in front of her. Fear shot through her body and she shut her eyes tight. It's... It's Shield! I'm about to die.. Oh Celestia I'm about to die! Her body began trembling as the presence she felt drew closer, her legs and wings burned with the urge to run, to get away, and she almost tried. She sighed, quelling her shaking body as she again focused on the pain of guilt. No.. that's exactly how it should be. I deserve this ending. I'm ready. Twilight... I- I'm....
“Not yet.” A soft voice spoke up from behind her. Her eyes shot open, a dim flickering light illuminated the darkness, her shadow dancing on the floor. Slowly, she turned to face the source of the voice. It was a young stallion with orange coat and a golden mane. His light blue eyes were light with a certain life that had died from Dash's own eyes. A dull white light filled the expanse that seemed to go on forever.
“Who are you? What do I have left? What else could there be left of my heart? Please, just let me lay here, waiting for Shield. I'm ready to accept my punishment.” In Dash's eyes could been seen the pain the raged deep inside of her. She felt it wholly and powerfully.
“Rainbow Dash, I am Hope.” For a moment, anger flared in Dash's eyes, but the pain quickly snuffed it out.
“How can you still be alive inside me? What do I have left to hope for? I don't want hope. No, I don't deserve it. So just disappear with Love and leave me alone.” She collapsed back to the floor, gazing downwards and ears low.
“Rainbow Dash, hope is not about what you deserve it's about what you want. So tell me, what is it you want?” She raised her head, looking deep into his eyes. 'What do I...want?'
“I want... to die. I want to pay for what I've done.”
“Rainbow Dash, I do not have much time. What do you want?” She began to feel tears building up in her eyes.
“I want to die.”
“What do you want Rainbow Dash?” She lightly shook her head, tears beginning to roll down her muzzle.
“What do you want?” She opened her mouth, her throat was tight, chocked with held back pain and sobs. Hope's face became angry and impatient. He walked up to her, she cowered down beneath him shrinking her appearance. Her lips moved silently, the words dying on her tongue. He shouted at her with a challenging glare.
“What do you want!?”
“I want it all to be okay!” She looked up at him wide eyed before the sadness overwhelmed her. She bowed her head and cried, weeping at his hooves. He smiled down at her.
“Rainbow Dash. Those are the most honest words you have spoken to yourself in a long time.” She continued to cry on the floor. Why is the truth so painful? It hurts so much. I have no right to want anything. I felt so guilty when I spoke, and so sad.
“Rainbow Dash, you have both hidden from me and hidden behind me. It's painful to hope when you have nothing to hope for or when you don't deserve hope, and It's easy to hide behind distant hopes of the future. You pushed the painful truth of the present away for the sweet hope of tomorrow. You used me to hide from your pain and what was causing you pain. It's time to stop hiding.”
“But, what do I have left to hope for? I hurt the ones closest to me. I pushed them all away. I killed my heart and soul. I can't love or even connect with another pony ever again. I- I can't even feel happy any more.” As she spoke her voice became higher and choked from the tears. She looked up pleadingly at hope, who returned with a look of pity.
“Rainbow Dash, He will be here soon. You can no longer use me to hide. When he comes, I will die and soon you will follow.” Dash put her hooves on his, looking up at him from the floor with renewed anguish in her eyes and voice.
“Y-you can't... you cant go... I need...” She stopped and her body went limp. “No, I don't deserve to live and I have no reason to go back now. Once you're gone... there will be nothing holding me here. It's been you all along hasn't it? The reason I came this far? The reason I didn't stay in that small dark place when I first came here? The reason I kept hiding and lying to myself? It was because I still had hope. Without you... I can die.” Darkness began rushing slowly growing towards them from all sides like and ominous fog. Dash suddenly felt fear rising in her. This time, he truly was coming for her.
“I-I have to know.. why is he doing this? If I die.. so does he.” Hope shook his head in disappointment.
“You already know why.” Dash nodded knowingly. She knew, she knew exactly why. I can't handle the truth for even a second, Shield has had to take that pain forever. It's better that I die, for both of us. Hope stepped back from Rainbow Dash, backing up from her. The darkness was licking at his hooves now.
“It's almost over, isn't it?” Her voice trembled, despite what she wanted, fear began to take hold. Suddenly, a shield as large as a wagon with an ornate eye at it's center appeared, floating over Hopes head. He smiled once more.
“What can I say? Hope is short liv..” All Rainbow Dash could do was watch helplessly and the shield slammed down on top of her hope, cutting him off mid word before all that was left were floating particles of light, quickly consumed by the darkness.
“No...” She felt any last glimmer of hope she may have had, die painfully within her. As she felt his presence grow closer, her emptiness was filled with only one desire. Run! She got to her hooves and backed away from the darkness that swept towards her like a tide.
“No! No!” She spun around and stretched her wings. However, the moment she took off, she stopped. The void had encroached from all sides. There was no where to run. She had no lies left to hide behind. It was over. She landed on the ground and closed her eyes. She felt an immense, cold sorrow wash over every fiber of her being as the darkness took her in it's grasp. Then, the next things she heard was full of malice, but soft and quiet, because it was right next to her ear.
“It's time.”
This whole fic has been a really well-designed breakdown of Rainbow's mind. Very possibly the best near-death experience I've ever seen put into an art form. If you can keep those last few chapters at the same level of quality, you will have my favorite upon completion of the story.
Oh, and Hope is R63 Applejack *goes back to see if the others are altered M6 as well*
3719464 thanks for the high praise and i assure you the last two chapters will no be a disappointment, though i am debating on if i should just do it as one chapter. also... oh, didn't even notice that, about Hope... subconsciously i may have done it to all the others as well, take a look tell me if i did
Hahaha... seriously, I cannot wait for the end to this. I mean... wow. I'm still hoping (ha) for something amazing to come out of nowhere and you already know my thoughts on how all this started, but... that romance tag still bugs me. One final two part chapter and you hope to squeeze some kind of romance when we literally saw Love die? We'll see, I suppose. If you try to shoehorn in something like that at the last minute it will diminish from the impact of the rest of the story, no matter how good the earlier chapters are. especially if you pull a Moffat (Dr. Who reference for any other geeks).
3719859 the romance is more of an undertone, sort of.. Gah! i can't enplane it without spoiling! just that romance is very important over all but it's in the background... i can say no more as i will incriminate myself
3719876
I don't mean to try and get you to say anything spoiler-y or anything, god knows I hate spoilers, but... background implies it's been going on this entire fic and... well... unless I'm oblivious to it (which I hope I'm not; having written ten separate romance stories myself) there hasn't been. The only thing I could conceivably think is that one memory we have yet to see the full thing of, where Rainbow is flying away from something, but if I remember correctly that was when she was a filly. We knew what she was flying away from recently when her heart gave out.
But alas, I guess I shall have to wait. Besides, I still need to go read Then We'll Run and do my review thing on that....
3719892 She's been thinking of twilight since the beginning, and Logic said that he liked her, and then she heard her voice when Shield was tempting her. Then when Guilt showed her the entire memory from why she ended up in the situation in the first place.... i thought it made sense anyway
3719909
I see where you're coming from with that, but I find it hard to call that a romance. I mean... kinda one sided. True, she's bee thinking about Twi a lot, but that, as far as the reader an tell, is because the last memory she was shown was of her fight with Twi. Logic liked her because of the given reason that she had seen through her lies and shields (and obviously because of how logical Twilight is), but that doesn't really imply a romance unless it had been hinted at previously. But, as I said, we'll see next chapter. I'll pass final judgment when all this is over.
3719909 Funny you should mention that, because Love has Twilight's color scheme, albeit faded.
All I can say now is; can't wait for the next chapter.
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3714818 to all my favorite and loyal readers of this story, i'm so glad you were all so touched by it and read it through to this point. Your comments gave me a lot of drive to get through each chapter and i really appreciate you all. Now, tonight is the night. This will be the final chapter, i hope you enjoy
Really grips you in at the beginning. Although I eyed a few grammatical errors, you're very good at describing Dash's feelings, and grasping a reader's attention.
3725355 you already read the first chapter? that was fast, and thanks for reading, I put your story in my read late because as i stated, i am currently writing the last chapter and it's really sad.. it's hard to write knowing how it ends and all
but rest assured i will get to your story tomorrow as i will much more time
There are tears in my eyes. I won't deny it. We all see where that goes. Excellent job so far. You have explained everything very well! There are only a couple of grammar mistakes that are not very distracting! Oh, and author, I suggest you to and read the Fic, Asylum in my Head. The reason I am here (and I'm happy I'm here) is because I read a comment saying this Fic is like that one with a link. I purposely don't think that, but I think you would like the other Fic so far anyway!
-Derpy 2