With Malus Aforethought

by Schismatism

Chapter 1 - Apples to Oranges

"Right, so we want the maypole just about there, with enough ribbons f'r all the fillies an' colts..."

"Rightyo! One maypole, coming right up!"

The sun was shining hot over Sweet Apple Acres that morning, still beaming down with an almost unrelenting heat, despite the Summer Sun Celebration's conclusion almost a month and a half ago. August was fast approaching, and with the eighth month of the year came that most vaunted of celebrations (at least to some): the Apple Family Reunion. Ordinarily, these were every hooffull of years, but last year's had been... less than ideal. Hence, the Apples had simply taken a mulligan, so to speak. RSVPs had already been received from most of the nearby relatives, though some of the farther ones had declined, mostly on the basis of having their own business - still, this year's promised to be almost as grand.

"How're the plans for the rodeo o'er there?"

"Lookin' good!"

After what could be politely referred to as last year's 'debacle', Applejack wasted no time in asking her best friends to assist in the setup this year, and not a one of them demurred. After all, they reasoned, it wasn't as though they themselves had a terrible amount of work: Rarity's fall line of fashion was nearly complete; Pinkie's Nightmare Night setup was still a speck on the horizon, and Twilight Sparkle's studies were... well, she could be convinced to take a break from them. Even Rainbow Dash got in on the assistance, promising in an uncharacteristically studious display to ensure - through a lengthy sheaf of bureaucratic paperwork - that all the storms would be cleared up well ahead of time.

"All those apples for the party stocked and stored?"

"Ee-yup."

Finally, to help resolve what concerns remained, Applejack had taken the liberty of starting a full week in advance. It would, of course, leave a bit of applebucking to catch up on, but with any luck, that could be handled right after the reunion, especially with everyone a bit more rested and relaxed. Any sort of disaster was prepared for, any sort of potential problem handled readily ahead of time.

Well, aside from a certain pegasus prankster dumping a load of water on everyone's heads.

Assorted shrieks and groans rang out, along with the standard accusatory statements: "Dangit, Dash, what the hay was that all about?!" "My hat! It will take simply forever to dry!" "Um, why did you...?" And so on, and so forth. In response, the rainbow-maned pegasus simply replied with her cheeky grin, "Hey, it's a hot day! You all looked like you could use a bit of cooling off."

Twilight sighed, looking around at her fellow suddenly-drenched workers, before casting a spell to hasten the evaporation on everypony. "I'll admit that we're all getting a little hot out here," she agreed, observing a few frazzled (and now damp) manes, not to mention the sheen of salt on Applejack and Big Mac. "It's just past noon, and we might as well pace ourselves; we are ahead of the game, after all." Her checklist unrolled, showing to all that they were halfway done the preparations.

For a moment, Applejack considered declining, then shook her head, water droplets spraying from her ponytail. "Yeah, that sounds about right," she agreed begrudgingly, looking around at the others. "It has been a pretty long mornin', so I guess we can say we're done for today. After all, we got a week to go, and most've these things can sit fer a while." Things like apple snacks were almost guaranteed to all be done on the last day, but with Sugarcube Corner assisting, they were almost guaranteed to be complete in no time flat.

"Thank you, dear," Rarity smiled lightly, tossing her once more expertly-coiffed mane as her horn ceased to glow. "While I'd love to stay and help in this dazzling weather, I truly do think I might be able to get more done in my own workshop. And of course, I simply must complete my work on Fleur's request..." Her head tilted slightly, as she asked in hopeful tones, "Are you certain you won't need us for anything else today?"

"Nah," came Applejack's weary response. "We're pretty much wrapped up - oh right, here's for yer help." Two baskets of apples were brought to each of the five impromptu assistants, with a grateful nod by Big Mac; Pinkie Pie in particular seemed thrilled, promising to make all sorts of apple-themed treats for tomorrow. "Oh, an' that reminds me, we'll be gettin' your barrels of apples over to Sugarcube Corner in a day or two. Just keep an eye out, aright?"

"You betcha! I'll be keeping BOTH eyes out, and I bet Gummy'll have an eye or two to spare, and so will Mrs. Cake and Mr. Cake, and so will Pumpkin and Pound, and I'll make sure that we have plenty of milk to go around!" This, naturally, was the response from the constantly-hyper Pinkie Pie, her frazzled mane barely touched by the deluge of water from a few minutes ago. "And when I get back there I'll make sure that we've got lots of banners, and I bet I can find some apple-shaped balloons, and all that and more!" Typically enough, the 'pink menace' was absolutely thrilled at the thought of any celebration, let alone one so big as this.

So, with that morning's brief bit of work and planning completed, the five non-Apples wandered back to their homes and businesses, knowing well that the next few days would be calm, relaxed, and easy.

---

Applejack wandered through what seemed like an endless orchard in a pitch-black night, her voice calling out to any who might hear. "Hello? Anypony out there?" Alas, nothing seemed to respond beyond a faint echo. "Y'there, Applebloom? Granny Smith? Big Mac? ...Girls?"

No response was incoming, and Applejack's hackles began to rise. Shivers rolled down her spine as she looked about at the unfamiliar orchard, the fruit seeming... off, somehow. This certainly wasn't Sweet Apple Acres, not with these in it: there was a lemon tree, there was a cherry tree, there a lime...

In a blink of an eye, Applejack found herself surrounded by piles of fruit, a cornucopia in every way but one: there, bananas rolled across the plain, followed by bouncing pears and peaches, plums sailing through the air to a merry tune of brass instruments. There, a pile of grapes sang happily, bouncing along like the parasprites of a year or two ago, and in the background, cranberries splashed into a pond with the crash of cymbals.

It took her a few moments for the pony's addled brain to recognize what was wrong with this picture: there were no apples. Not a single example of the fruit littered what she knew in the back of her mind was a dream, be it a tart green or a bright red or even, impossibly, a blue: every other genus was represented but that.

Whirling around in a panic, Applejack flew through openings in the overwhelming mounds of fruit, looking for that one familiar sight - before her eyes widened, taking in a glimpse of what lay before her. There, in an unblemished clearing, lay a single, golden apple, glistening in a sourceless light.

Somehow, the farm pony knew that she had to reach it, had to grasp it, as though it were the last apple in existence. A rainbow of colours rushed past as she lept with her heart singing in panic, the golden fruit taking up every last thought in her semi-conscious mind, and with hooves outstretched--

---

THUD.

The orange-and-blond pony groaned as she hit the floor hard, her eyes spinning momentarily as the room came into view. The sun peeked through her blinds, just past sunrise: sure enough, Applejack's internal alarm clock was as flawless as ever. Normally, it didn't come with this sort of rude awakening, but usually, she didn't have nightmares, either... "What in tarnation was I dreamin' about, anyhow?" Those memories were slipping past her like snow on a warm summer morning. "Must've just been the preparation gettin' to me, or something."

With a loud yawn, she cocked an ear to hear the birds chirping outside, the rest of the farm mostly still. "Well, they seem happy, at least," she muttered to herself, leaning over to pull the blinds up and let the morning into her room. The warm breeze helped to clear up the remnants of the night, bringing it with it the redolent scent of oranges.

"Ah, that's a bit more like--" Applejack paused as something twinged in her head. "That ain't..." In an instant, Applejack rushed to stare out at the lovely morning, hooves atop the windowsill, and took in the sight of a beautiful, flowering orange grove.

Author's Note:

Aaaand here we go! The first fanfic that I'm actually planning to publish, on the grounds that I've got most of the plot figured out in a frighteningly quick manner. It won't actually be too long, but I'm planning to have a lot of fun with these ideas.