"Yeah, yeah, another won't hurt," Vinyl cheered over the booming music. The stack of tiny glasses atop the bar in front of her was a true testament to her disorientated state.
Octavia giggled, sluggishly waving a playful hoof. "Aw, fine, for my little Scratches," she snickered. Then, she downed the clear liquid in her other hoof, shaking her head and snorting when it was gone.
Vinyl eyed her over with a grin. The night was young, but even in the dim blacklight-lit bar, she could tell her marefriend was partying. Her sepia mane and grey fur were carelessly rustled and messy, and her face never dropped that sloppy grin. "Aw yeah, now that's how we roll!" She turned down the bar to face the busy bartender. "Hey! Another round, S'il vous please!" she shouted with a hiccup.
A thump came from her side, but she paid it no mind. The bartender did, however; his eyes flew wide as the clear bottle of brew fell from his magic, shattering on the floor. Vinyl gave him a wary glance, grinding her teeth and snarling. "Dude that's good stuff you're wasting!"
He didn't answer - he was too busy throwing off his tie and apron and rushing over to her. She backed away, falling from her plush purple stool. What she landed on, however, was not the hard plaster tile that was supposed to be beneath her. She landed on something cold, something plump and curvy, something that seemed like it should be alive. A quick glance down to her hooves revealed a slumped grey mare with blue lips and a glazed gaze.
Immediately she fell to the Octavia's side, placing her ear next to her marefriend's drooling lips. Silence. She raised a shaking hoof and poked the mare's cheek. Stillness. Everything about her had stopped - her breathing, her blinking, and when Vinyl pressed her ear to the still mare's chest, her heart.
***
She awoke with a start, jerking up and off of her hard bunk. With an unceremonious thud she collapsed to the floor in a heap, waves of pain crippling her from any further movement. Her nose had barely missed a direct impact, but that didn't stop the horrible knives of agony the rippled through her face.
"Oh my," she heard a voice say. "I was told you were a heavy sleeper, but I didn't think..."
Carefully tilting her head up, she peeked open one ruby eye. Through the blur that clouded her vision, she could make out a tall, white stallion dressed in a nice green suite with a light cyan tie that covered his auburn fur. His striking blue mane was neatly combed, and his tail was brushed and groomed as it shimmered in the morning light. He seemed prepared for business - exactly what kind, Vinyl had no clue, but she frowned nonetheless.
"I...um..."
"Here, let me help you up," he said with a gentle smile as he extended his hoof. The DJ carefully took it, raising herself up to her own hooves once more. "My sincerest apologies for startling you Ms. Scratch."
"Right, uh, don't worry about it," she groaned, twisting her neck for the loud cracks that it entitled. Sitting back down on the cot, she batted her eyes at the captain. "So did you need something?"
"I did in fact," he said, taking a seat beside her. He smelled of deep cologne and hair gel. "I needed something two days ago. But I swear, the administration on this ship is so slow. I got the new brig records only last night; I'd have come sooner had I known."
"Known what?" the DJ asked. A long yawn drawled out of her throat. She stretched her arms left and right with a little, wide grin.
"Known that you were in here." He in turn had his own grin on his face. "Though I suppose I should have seen it coming. I saw the bar records a few days ago..."
"Oh, um...well ya see-"
"It's all right," he said, shushing her. "I remember our dinner a few nights ago, and well, quite honestly, I'm not dumb. I could tell just how bad things were between you and that charming cellist of yours."
"She's not mine anymore," Vinyl huffed with pouty eyes.
"I guessed as much. How are you feeling? From the looks of your hooves, I'd assume not so well."
Vinyl looked down to her hooves. They were scratched, scarred, with little lines of crimson running down them. "Oh this? I was...drunk. But look, I'm not really myself when I'm drunk," she explained in a defensive tone as she tucked her hooves between her plot and the bunk.
"Are any of us? I could guess that that too would be the reason for the bit of stability I'm seeing, hmm?" he asked, cocking his head with his patented smile.
Vinyl's cheeks filled with heat. "No offense captain, but I'm not a filly, so I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't treat me like one."
He thought this over for a second, before saying with a wry wink, "I beg to disagree. You may only grow up once, but you're a filly twice." A little chuckle slipped his lips.
The DJ rolled her eyes; she couldn't think of anything else to do. "The humor's nice and all...but it's not really helping."
"I never meant to be funny - that was an accident," he said. His smile never left his lips once. "What I mean to say is that we never really stop learning. So to say that you aren't a filly would mean that you've learned all you need. And this may just be my opinion, but I highly doubt that that is your case."
"As if it's yours..."
"I never said it was," he said with a gentle nudge. He fell to his hooves and headed towards the door, saying over his shoulder, "Come, I think you and I need to have a little chat."
***
"Lyra...did we really have to sleep in different beds?" Bonbon asked as her marefriend casually trotted out of the steamy bathroom, a white towel bound around her mane. "It seems...well..."
"Well what?" the unicorn asked with a huff. She made her way around Bonbon's bed, to her own, jumping on it with a hollow thump.
"It seems like you're just..."
"Just what?" Lyra squinted, gazing harshly into her marefriend's cyan eyes.
Bonbon bit her lip and shifted on her sheets. She took in a deep breath, but instead of speaking, looked out behind her. Light was flooding in through the deck windows freely, lighting up the room with an orange glow. "It's just that you're being cold," she eventually said, turning back around. "And not just to Vinyl and Octavia...but to me too."
Lyra snarled, whipping the towel from atop her head. It flew to the bedside table, draping itself over the clock and lamp. "I'm being cold? Me? Look at yourself. I just made us sleep in separate beds. I thought that's what you wanted, after all. A break from me," she said. She crossed her forelegs and turned away, her chin high.
"Lyra, how could I want that?" Bonbon leaned in, extending her hoof with a hurt expression across her face.
"How? More like why. Maybe if you paid attention to me, instead of Octavia and that oaf of a DJ, you'd know the answer! Seriously Bonbon, is it just that they mean more to you than your own special somepony?"
"Now that's not true," Bonbon said with a scowl. "I love you dearly-"
"You don't show it! It's always Octavia this, Vinyl that... they're over Bonbon! And I'm afraid we will be too if you don't quit!"
There was a stiff silence. Not even the gentle rocking of the ship could alter it, nor the soft sound of rolling waves crashing against the side.
"We came here for us," Lyra said, her tone much quieter. "We came here to be together. We came here because we loved each other, and we wanted to spend quality time together. What don't you understand about that Bonbon? I want to spend time with you, not policing them..."
Bonbon searched for her words, gripping the sheets beneath her and tugging them close. "I...You would just turn your back to our friends?"
"They're not our friends anymore," Lyra huffed. "They've been dragging us down, don't you see? They're destroying our relationship, all because they couldn't keep their own together. It's so...so stupid! It's their fault. And now, Vinyl's going to give herself alcohol poisoning, and Octavia's going to become a hermit, and if you keep trying to help this failed cause..."
The cream pony scrunched her face up. Her cheeks flushed red, and her lips pursed. Squinting, she said, "Lyra Heartstrings. They are not the ones destroying our relationship."
"But-"
"Get out. Go on, get out. I don't want to deal with you right now." Bonbon pointed to the door.
"So that's it then? I knew it...I knew you cared more about them than me!" Another bitter silence befell them, sucking the warmth from the air. A tear trickled down the corner of the unicorn's eye, creeping down her cheek and dripping to the floor. She hopped down from her bed and sauntered to the door.
"That's not true either-"
"Fine!" Lyra snapped. "It's over, I get it!"
"It's not," her marefriend said sternly. "I just can't put up with anymore stress right now, and you're not helping."
Lyra ignored her, whipping the door open with her magic, and slamming it shut behind her. The mare, now alone in the room, sighed and rubbed her temples.
"It's not over..." she grumbled, shaking her head. Of all the ways to start off her day, it had to begin with this. She couldn't catch a break; everywhere she turned there was drama, the was heartbreak, there was lunacy. She growled, stomping her hooves down on the floor and storming over to the door.
When she reached it, she stopped, taking in a deep breath. "No no, Bonnie, calm down. There is a much better way to deal with this," she told herself. Patting her mane down into place and fixing a bit of ruffled fur on her side, she regained her composure and reached out for the door handle.
But when she opened the door and peered down into the hall, she was greeted with nothing but silence.
***
"Breakfast is on me," Starlight said with a grin and a wink. Vinyl followed him as he cantered into one of the various topside lounges. This one had the peculiar name, The Wayward Sail, chalked onto a blackboard that stood at the entrance. She sighed and went in, examining the plain, rustic surroundings.
The floors were wood, the walls were wood, and the ceiling was wood. The glazed, auburn planks added a cozy, cabin like feel, and did wonders for trapping the cool breeze that was constantly flowing. Both ponies inhaled deeply as a large gust filled the room, pressing the ashen red tablecloths to their circular tables. Vinyl and Starlight took a seat at one of these tables - one close to the back bar - and with haste, snatched up the menus at the center.
Vinyl cracked hers open and examined the laminated page, her eyes racing down the choices and her lips quivering, trickling with the slightest trail of drool.
"I don't imagine you have had a hearty meal as of late?" Starlight asked, peering up from the top of his menu.
Vinyl shook her head as she continued to examine her options. There was a large, cheesy faux omelet. Then there was the warm, steaming breakfast panini with crisp greens and scrumptious cheddar. And of course, at the bottom of the page, there was the breakfast wrap: a toasted, golden tortilla stuffed to the brim with leafy greens, fresh spinach, succulent mushrooms, and juicy tomatoes. She nodded at this with an eager stare.
"I didn't think so," the captain said with a chuckle. He was nonchalantly scanning over his menu. "The brig never does feed well. But, then again, you shouldn't land in there in the first place."
"W-Well it wasn't my fault," Vinyl said, slamming the menu closed and looking away.
"Oh? Then how did you land in there?" he asked.
"I - It was my ex's fault," she said with a huff.
Starlight almost chortled, but bit his lip and softened his smile. "That lovely mare you were with? Octavia, I think it was. What happened?"
Vinyl sighed and turned back to the table. "We, uh, just weren't right for each other..."
"Is that so? Well I'm terribly sorry to hear it," he said. His smile faded, replaced by a kind gaze. A waiter approached; he was the only stallion working, and had just finished wiping down the bar.
"I hope I'm not interrupting," he said.
"Nonsense." Starlight offered him a light smile. "I'll have the breakfast salad, nothing more thank you."
The stallion nodded and turned to Vinyl. "Yeah, I want the breakfast wrap and a glass of scotch," she said. The waiter smiled, spun around, and receded behind the bar once more.
"Scotch? This early?"
"I need something," she said with a sigh.
"Do you? Do you really? What, then, happened at my table those few nights ago?" He leaned on his hoof, an expectant yet kind look in his stare.
Vinyl blushed. Her eyes flew about and her lips fumbled, but in the end she said, "Just...memories."
"Strong? Must be," he said, "to cause something like that. But why the alcohol? What prompted it, I suppose I'm asking."
"If you don't mind, it's private," she said, turning her face to the wind.
"I do mind actually. Ms. Scratch, you've gained quite the reputation around the ship for your drinking. I get the records, you know," Starlight said. Eyes darted, his expression fell from kind and soft to stern and piercing. "It's not every day I get a complaint about a ship wide drunk. And I get even less brig admission reports."
Vinyl did not look back, but instead sighed and let the wind kick her mane back. "So I had a bit too much..."
"I've been following you, you know." Vinyl snapped her head around, her lip drawn up in a snarl. "No no, not literally. But I've followed your records, your actions. I even know about your little fracture there," he said, pointing to her bandage nose.
She blushed and grazed the rough gauss bandage with her hoof.
"You've gotten drunk on more occasions than I preferred to read about. And at my table, you shattered a full glass of bourbon. Then you created quite the ruckus with your...ex." Starlight's tone softened and his lips eased up from their frown. "Now you've got a shattered nose and managed to get yourself locked in our fine brig due to a fit of misplaced, drunken anger. Ms Scratch...It's not private anymore. I don't want this aboard my ship, and..."
"And what?" she asked, looking back to the bar. The waiter was giving them sly little glances ever now and then, failing in his attempts to be inconspicuous.
"And something tells me it's not what you want either." He sighed and leaned in. "What is the reason for all of this?"
"I don't need another pony running my life and treating me like a filly," Vinyl said, backing away with a sneer. "I'm sick of it, and won't take it anymore. Not even from you, captain."
Starlight leaned back in his chair, pushing the menu away and taking in a deep breath. He closed his eyes, slouched, and bit his lip. "I don't doubt it. But that's not what I'm trying to do. Listen to me, please. I only wish to help."
"Yeah, well...I don't want 'help'." She looked back over at the waiter, who was preparing two loaded plates to be brought out. Atop one was a crispy green salad, and atop the other sat her steaming breakfast wrap. She shook her head at it, gripping her stomach. Pain rippled up through her gut, but even still, her appetite had faded. Her eyes quickly shifted to the little glass of burgundy liquid that sat next to the plate, small trickles of water dripping down its cold sides.
"So you insist that you want to drink, break vital parts of your body, and end up in jail? All for what? For losing your marefriend?"
"It's her fault all of it happened in the first place!" Vinyl yelled, pointing a hoof to Starlight. "Jail! Booze! Everything!"
"Now now, no need to get upset," he said, waving his hooves down slowly. "Look, our food is here. I imagine we're both famished. Let's eat a bit, shall we?"
The waiter took the two ceramic plates from atop his outstretched wings and set them down before the two ponies. The savory scent of fried mushroom and spices wafted through the air. He then put the glass down next to Vinyl's wrap, the small cubes of ice clinking like little chimes.
She took no time in tearing apart her wrap, unceremoniously ripping into it and yanking a huge chunk out. Chomping down on it, she let tiny chunks and spittle fly with an ungracious snarl on her face.
Starlight took in another deep breath, the wind blowing through his mane. "All right, let's take a good look at this. You're an alcoholic." Vinyl opened her mouth in protest, but he raised a hoof to her. "And, something about alcohol makes you blow your top, no?"
She huffed and slumped down.
"You're keeping a secret, and it has to do with Ms. Octavia. You freely drink, but can't stand her drinking. As well, you are sensitive of ponies interfering with your life. I think it's fair to assume that I'm correct here?" There was silence. The captain took a large bite of his greens, giving the mare across from him a soft gaze.
"I guess," she muttered, crossing her forelegs.
"Good. It would then be fair to say that it has serious repercussions on your life." He bent down for another bite, but stopped, his mouth open and his eyes fixed on the mare across from him. Vinyl had taken up the glass with her magic, bringing it to her lips.
"Wait," he said. "Before you take a sip from that drink, I want you to think. That is why I've brought you here, after all - to think. Think long and hard about what you're about to do."
"I know what I'm about to do, thank you," she said, shaking her head and pressing the cold glass to her dry lips.
"If you did, I doubt you'd do it," Starlight said, once more bringing a halt to her movements. "I do not know what has happened in the past, but think about the present. Let us propose, for just a moment, that you hadn't taken a single sip of that blasted drink whilst on the ship. Where would you be now?"
Vinyl leaned forward, squinting her eyes and biting her lip. Her face was turning a deep scarlet, and her muscles tightened.
Gulping, Starlight quickly said, "Think about it. Is it worth it?" Then, there was a pause, a stillness that weighed heavy on them both.
Vinyl leaned back, resting her drink back on the table.
"There we go," Starlight said in a soft, calm voice. "Progress. Let us talk, for just a moment. No anger, no sadness, just talking. Is that all right?"
She picked up her wrap with her light pink magic, bringing it forward and taking off a significantly smaller bite. "I...sure. Whatever."
"Good, good. How has the cruise been so far?"
"It's been...fine," she said, gulping down her bite and slowly taking another.
"That's lovely. And the food? We serve only the best, you know." He offered a small wink.
"It's good, too."
"Interesting enough. And the music? How is it? Your friend, Lyra; she's quite the musician. Classical music, I find, always washes my stress away, wouldn't you agree?"
"Yeah." Vinyl took yet another small bite.
"My personal favorite - classical piece, that is - would be the Art of Fugue, by Johann Sebastian Buck. Might I inquire yours?" he asked with a gentle grin.
There was silence for a moment, Vinyl staring at the cool glass.
"I, uh, I guess the Moonlight Sonata. Tav loved that one..."
"And there we have it," Starlight said, clapping his hooves together. Vinyl's eyes shot wide, and she slammed her wrap down on the plate with a loud crashing sound. The bartender shot up, frantically searching for the source.
"My apologies," Starlight said with a nod. He shook his head, rolled his eyes, and got back to work. "See, Ms. Scratch, I knew that you didn't despise her, nor did you blame her for everything. I'm not a stranger to relationships."
"It's just a song," she grumbled, turning away and hunching down.
"Ah, but it's so much more, don't you see? For starters, it's not your preferred music, am I correct?" She reluctantly nodded. "You remember it by name. See, it's her song. And...you like it, don't you?" he asked, bending over to see into her ruby eyes. They were glossy, with tiny droplets forming at their base.
"Y-Yeah. So what?"
Starlight sat back up and looked out to the ocean. The never ending expanse of rolling waves seemed to be just that: never ending. On and on they rolled, their soft crashing music to his ears. He sighed and smiled now, a motion he was aware of constantly repeating. Even still, he nodded and chuckled to himself.
"I have a question for you. One last question, and then I must be off," he said, turning back to her. She looked up, her tearing ruby eyes shining in the morning light. "Is that glass of poison worth more than somepony you love?"
She looked at him, then down to her drink, then to him once more. "I-I..."
"If you want, I'll be here again tomorrow. If you're feeling comfortable enough, why not meet me here. We can...talk things over. I'm just a friendly stranger, sure, but sometimes it helps to talk to a stranger."
Silence once more.
"That sounds nice," Vinyl eventually said, wiping her eyes and stiffening her back. Clearing her throat, she slowly began to regain her composure, looking Starlight dead in the eyes.
"See? That's all you need - somepony to talk to. Don't worry, you can trust me," he said. With a muffled chuckle, he continued, "I'm sure you don't, but you can. Ten tomorrow, and I'll be here. And maybe you can tell me what the real trouble is. What you're keeping locked up."
"M-Maybe," she quietly said.
The captain smiled, standing and heading towards the door. "I look forward to it, Ms. Scratch. By the way," he said, just before he rounded the corner, "stop by the reception desk tonight. I'll have a key to an empty cabin waiting for you."
She smiled. "Thanks captain."
"Of course. And please, call me Starlight. We're friends after all, are we not?"
Vinyl gave one small nod.
"Good. I shall see you then." With that, he walked on into the midmorning breeze.
The mare, now alone, turned back to the glass in front of her, giving it a wary look. Licking her lips, she imagined the cool sensation as it would glide down her parched throat. But then, she turned away, leaning into the wind and sucking in deeply. Biting her lip, she tried to focus solely on the vast sea before her. But her eyes drifted to the glass once more, examining it, taking in its tempting form. The bitter aroma filled her senses, and she swore she could hear those little ice cubes clinking away.
Groaning, she leaned in, gripped the glass with her magic, and guzzled the whole thing down in one burning chug. Writhing and snarling, she slammed the empty container back onto the table, pushed herself away, and hopped down from her chair.
She rounded the corner of the restaurant and disappeared into the day.
Yeah, this is what you waited for. Whatever.
I got the review from Ponychan back. And...I'm intimidated. Heavily intimidated. After reading it, I feel like the engineers of the Titanic.
So I'm doing something that makes even me sick: I'm giving up. I'll continue the story, of course. But I give up on my goal of EqD. Plain and simple. I'll go back and fix some things, little by little until my enthusiasm wears out (and it's dangerously low as is).
And before you ask, "Well Lynked, isn't your story worth it to you?" Yes. It is. But so was the Titanic to those engineers.
Anyways, there's only three chapters left in this thing. I'll try and get started on them soon.
Edit: I'm feeling weird lately, so excuse this please
Hmm. I take it people were a bit harsh on Ponychan? I have very little experience there. Its hard to say until you finish this, but as it is right now I see no reason why this wouldn't be able to be accepted on EqD. I don't know if you already have tried submitting it there, and the pre-readers do have quite the reputation. So they might send it back at first with some constructive criticism. I'm sure though that you could get it on EqD if you wanted. But that's just my two cents.
Also, if this is what I have been waiting for, I'm happy.
596733
To hell with those meanies, they wouldn't know good literature if it held them at gunpoint, forced them to remove their clothes and dance to this video. Your awesome stories are always welcome here.
p.twimg.com/As9YsYACEAA7g3A.jpg
596787>>596800 The folks at Ponychan weren't rude by any means. I've received enough actual criticism to warrant this story not EqD worthy.
As for getting back from EqD; this is my second time sending it in. I thought I had revised everything to meet the prereader standards, so I sent it back in. Now I get this, and all I can do is wait for that rejection. I suppose it's not all bad though. It takes the worry out of it. At least I know what's coming.
is it just me or is this pic from a crossover titanic
596815 I never said they were rude, doesn't mean they can't be harsh. Either way, well, I don't know what criticism you got, but... In my opinion I have read plenty of stories of lesser quality on EqD. Not much to do but wait for the reply from EqD then. You could always try once more should it get rejected a second time, after you work through the constructive criticism again.
If nothing else, I for one have enjoyed this story so far.
596820 It is.
596831 I suppose you're right. I don't know about EqD though. I don't have much hope for it anymore.
Thank you though. It's always nice to hear some encouraging words.
596863 ok, now i hear In my heart, IN MY HEAD!. that's a good pic
This is a great story, and I do feel bad that you think it won't get on EQD, this story is by far one of the best I've read. You write probably 6x better than I do and you are able to keep focused on it even though you lost hope. Hope for the best, and when you don't get it, keep trying.
Captain Starlight is best pony now.
596733 Well in my opinion this story is great. I'm working in a field where my daily works get judged and downvoted every time. I can imagine how it feels to have something really great in your own opinion and then someone else comes along and declares your work unworthy of, unfinished, not yet perfect...
But... do you know what makes my day? All those people who appreciate my work. Just a hand full but these are awesome people who keep me encouraged to work on. Where did it take me? ^^ I like what I do, I'm good at it and even if someone declares another of my works unworthy I stand my Ground.
I hope that somewhat helps a little.
Keep on rocking
Well, EqD isn't the be-all end-all of prestige. Granted, it's great to be there, but I believe there are plenty of awesome fics out there that aren't on EqD.
(Example? Memory Pending, by Kiroberos. Never on EqD, but one of my favorites on this site.)
The story's been excellent so far. Do take your time polishing this thing off; no need for a quality drop on the home stretch. Editing's an annoyance, though. Perhaps you should just take a break and come back to it in two weeks or so. Just my two cents.
Again, producing another chapter that beats out most stories. I can not wait until the next chapter. Only 3 more, so they probably contain allot. Also I just returned from the store, I have many cartons of Orange Juice and I bought you a 64 pack of crayons, I remember you said you liked crayons.
believe me, as one who reads the stuff that ends up on EQD (or if that isn't enough, all the other people who say the same thing), that this is easily the quality of the stuff that makes it onto EQD. A with everyone else, I have no idea what comments you got, how much the commenters read (your first EQD pre-reader only read the first chapter or so if I remember correctly, and this fix admittedly took a little bit to reach its tempo), or whatnot, but this is really really good. Please don't give up on it
Also, did you submit to EQD a second time?
>>Lynked Hey there!
I have been holding off from commenting for a while, unsure of what I felt about this fic. It has moved me in so many ways that some chapters just made my head spin. But now I know for sure what to say.
With the story not even completed I have laughed, cried, and screamed at my computer screen. Your proof readers are doing an amazing job at getting any errors that may have come by, either that or you are just that good of a typist, and the chapters are just long enough to sate a reader's hunger while leaving room for more.
There were some points where I have utterly despised this story down to it's very core. Days where I have wanted to send you an angry email. Then I re-read the chapter that pushed me there and I find myself enthralled all over again. It wasn't the story I was frustrated with but the characters and the struggles that they were going through.
I could relate so well I actually believed that it was the piece of literature that was upsetting me, not the events in said piece of literature. As if you personally came up to me and slapped me full across the face, it felt so real. You have an amazing gift for writing. For capturing the emotions and uploading them with the words they accompany.
From a huge fan of both literature in general and My Little Pony, obviously, I can say without a doubt that this is EqD material. No story posted there has made me cry myself to sleep while also giving me such joyous feelings that it feels as though I could fly in one beautifully written, flowing tale of our favorite ponies.
Keep up the good work Lynked. If not for your fans, then absolutely for yourself.
~< Anna 3~
I've never commented before. I've actually just made an account here last night.
So let me just say this; This is a fantastic story. I've read quite a few fics here and there, and few have had the emotional impact and depth presented in this masterpiece. The story is intriguing, the characters realistic, and all components of the tale come together to make a truly, truly wonderful story. I am absolutely overjoyed at the continuation of this story, and hope that you will continue to work ,not necessarily on this piece, and provide us with fics of such amazing quality. Know that I appreciate the time and effort taken to make this story so marvelous.
596733
Ponychan is too harsh to begin with. They're excessively 'ODC' about every fic they get their hands on. EQD doesn't expect 100% perfection. Ponychan users do. I've got a friend who wrote a fic that's become rather well known. My Little Avengers, by koolerkid. He sent it through Ponychan at first, and they were rather...I want to say 'cruel', but not entirely. They weren't nice, like proofreaders and prereaders should be. They treated it like a bunch of words where a 'good' proofreader will treat your work like it should be: art in progress.
Anyway, I ADORE this story, as I do any and all OctaScratch fic. And though you said there would be no iceberg, the proverbial ones have been crashed into left and right among our protagonists here, and I love it. I can't write shipping as well as others can, and this is definitely one of my favorites overall. Keep up the good work.
596733
Ah man, I was looking forward to waking up one day and BAM it's there on EqD.
Oh well, maaaaybe a next time? If so, you know where to find me!
598658 Yes, he does like crayons. A lot.
600401 I'm moderately new here too, and it was Moonlight Sonata that brought me here in the first place. I still think that it's one of the best stories there are for sentiments. I mean, I actually cried, after reading it. This was chapters ago, by the way, but it happened. And it wasn't just a read it and weep, it was about 10 min after, when I was pondering on a few of the sentiments, that I just came to tears.
602790 Yeah, he's a wizard with words, especially sentiments. I think that he's got more than 'EqD worthy' material, here. I think that, in his own way, he's the pony version of Orson Scott Card, or Terry Pratchet.
599569 You. I moved your tag till last, because I want to pat you on the back. I also want to say, quite formally, buck you. You just wrote what I've been trying to express for quite a while, trying to explain to myself, this is, in one comment. so while I want to cheer you on, I want to say, in big, bold letters, Buck You. Of course, with a nice happy face on the end, and with no hard feelings.
596871 So are you not going to read the story?
597312 Thanks. That means quite a lot
597415 I love your avatar
597425 That makes sense. Thanks for the encouragement.
597531 I know it's not, but it was my goal nonetheless. I wanted to see this story there, and I guess as any other goals, when it failed I was a bit let down. I'm fine now, I think. Though there's so much I have to do to edit this thing, I don't think I'll get around to it until I've finished the story.
599569 Wow, thanks I did in fact submit a second time. About five days ago I think. I'm not sure what to think as of now. Another author who I'm talking to has recently made it onto EqD, though he got no word of it. It was just put there. He sent it in, yes, and received the confirmation email, but nothing else. So I'm not sure what I should think right now
600401 Wow. That just left me speechless. I don't know what else to say other thank thank you. I really wish I could formulate something more, but all I can think to say is thank you
And it's mainly my prereaders that catch my errors I owe them a huge thanks.
601895 Masterpiece? Thank you for that I'm flattered. That is by far one of the best comments I've received so far.
602790 They did the same to this fic. It feels cold and harsh when they do that, I think
Thank you for the encouragement it really helps.
603118 Can do Maybe I'll try again eventually, but I don't know Eh. Oh well, no point in dwelling now is there
610060 I will read it. i have sett that story in to read later. I'm waiting until the summer to read it. one of the best thing to do in the sun is to read
610278 I could not agree more
I just want to say that I'm feeling great and not bitching, and have absolutely no clue just what the hell was going on earlier But I'm feeling good, and I like that. Please ignore my acting like it was the end of the world.
i finely read this story. good work. i hope you can say a bit about the real problem is in the next chapter. and were is the iceberg? I want the iceberg!
614568 There is no iceberg
614577no
614595 Well, I didn't want to simply remake the Titanic. There's so much to do with this, and an iceberg would be so...bad.
614617 I just kidding about the iceberg. even you had joked about that for some chapters right now.
Rejection can be a hard thing to cope with. Each 'thumbs down' or negative comment can feel like a tidal wave of disasters when it's towards something you feel strongly about. At the same time, every time you see another 'thumbs up', a positive comment, or someone adding your story to your favorites it can be the most wonderful feeling in the world. I understand these two emotions and the feeling of wanting to give up when you push for a goal and get less than favorable reviews back.
I've read some goods fics, I've read some bad fics, I've read some that stared good, but I hit a point where I disagree with the direction and have no desire to read anymore. Very seldom have I read fics that I add negative reviews or even give a thumbs down. Have there been some? Sure. I wont say which for respect to the author's but there have been one or two. Needless to say, this isn't one of those. As I continued reading I felt more compelled to read further with each chapter. I tell my self to take a break, but wanting to know what came next pulled me back. I for one want to see more of this fic and see the ending. Good or bad, I can understand either occurring and it wouldn't change my enjoyment of it. If you enjoy what you're doing, don't let the negativity of others destroy this.
If a group doesn't like it because it's not canon enough to the story? Well buck them. For every bit of fanfiction there has to be liberties taken. If they are explained, make sense, and coincide with events then what harm is there? Writing canon is one of the things I do worry about. In my opinion, going against the grain of established personalities too far feels to be an insult to the original characters. But here's the brilliant thing about your story. Octavia, Vinyl, Bon Bon, and Lyra have no canon personalities or traits. They are empty shells waiting to be filled. I hope this makes sense at least but these are my bits.
620235 I don't think I've ever read a comment that I agree with more. You've expressed my own thoughts on the matter of likes/dislikes ans stuff of the matter.
You have my highest thanks for the complements too It's comments like these that really make my day.
620249
You deserve it, trust me. Among my own stories I've gotten two dislikes. They had me down for a moment, but I began to wonder more about why they disliked it. No comments were left, and there's no scoring system for the dislike. I look at them now and think that maybe some just dislike for the sake of it. Secret trolls?
620411 That's what I think. I don't understand the downvote trolling though. Maybe it's just me, but I hardly ever use the downvote option it seems wrong to do that to another author who actually put work into his or her story.
Now, I've downvoted some troll fics before...
620424 Same. I've only down voted I think one story. If I don't agree with it or care for it. I just leave it be. Everyone has a place they start, good or bad. Looking back at some of my own ideas (before MLP) I realize how horrible they were, but then I look at current ideas and feel an improvement.
620465 I agree. I do leave a comment on what was wrong sometimes, but I hardly ever downvote. For me to downvote, it'd have to be purposive insulting.
I can agree with you on that too. I was recently reading the first fanfic I ever wrote It wasn't pretty.
620511 Sometimes those are the best. I know my earliest idea were influenced by anime and video games (more so then now I dare say). I slap my self just wondering how I ever thought they could even be questionably good. Course Back then I wasn't such a freak about yuri themes and the like.
620571 Yuri eh? So now you are
Are you saying the earilest fics are the best? Because I disagree; My Castlevania x Pony crossover was strange...
632015 Thanks for pointing that out. I'm surprised no one else has done so
And yes, I've been told that it starts off quite boring That's something I'll have to watch out for in later stories. I hope the rest of Sonata will keep your attention
now, this comment is far behind the conversation, but here it is anyway.
This fic is excelent and im comparing it to some of the crap i've seen on EQD. In short your story is tragic and poigniant, that alone will loose it some fans.
Don't doubt yourself otherwise you become your own worse enemy, just yell "damn the torpedos" and take the path you want, i'll read what you post and i'll enjoy it. I have so far.
I really enjoy this story I hate all of the ponies right now though lol except the captain.