Fluttermistress
The seven seas bow to her whim, the gates of heaven fall at her command, the universe itself bends around her very person. Her searing voice burns into the heads of those who dare to listen to even her softest tunes. Her unparalleled smile shatters the minds of anypony daring to lay their eyes upon her infinite and ineffable beauty. She defies the laws of physics as her very attendance in this world is far beyond our limited understanding. Her very being shines brightly throughout the world, radiating into every corner of our miserable existence, blinding us in our futile attempts to gaze upon her graceful body. With her very thoughts, she disintegrates worlds and enslaves every living creature. She takes your mind and soul with a single glance of her deeply entrancing eyes of unseen beauty. If however, she decides to stare upon you, you are forever doomed, being forced to gaze into her blistering depths, dying in the inside and yet having to endure an eternity of unimaginable torment. She is the mistress of life and death, she is... Fluttershy.
To speak her name means to be forever bound to her, to hear her calling means having one’s fate already written. To coexist in her presence is the highest achievable goal in our puny lives. To hear her true voice brings salvation and burns away our sins. Her might is unlimited and she is undefined by our mortal words, because they cannot capture her sheer magnitude. She is the queen of life and death, all shall bow to her!
“Fluttershy, are you down there?”
Who disturbed the mistress in her deep slumber? Who awakened the box of pandora? Who unlocked the seven seals of the gate to hell? Who had even dared to continue their pitiful existence in her proximity?
“It’s Twilight Sparkle!”
So the day has come when the puny princess shows up in her mountainous lair. The day has come when judgement shall be passed on that foolish mortal pony disrupting her slumber. The day has come when she would bring death and destruction to ponykind for so foolishly awakening her. The princess Twilight Sparkle had doomed herself to inevitable suffering. Her shadows were already waiting, defying Twilight with a false sense of certainty. This time, Twilight would meet her demise, down in these forbidden chambers, where damnation lingered around every corner. Twilight's eyes would be deceived by her beautiful lies.
“Fluttershy?”
The fear in Twilight’s voice only made her enjoyment grow, there would be a festival of pain. Fear was only a natural sign to be shown upon meeting the pony who had conquered entire dimensions with her sheer existence. She could hear the pathetic princess slowly trotting inside, her hooves giving away the traitorous sound that would make it easy for Fluttershy to defeat her. Of course by Fluttershy’s magnitude she wouldn’t even require the sound to be heard, but instead would defeat Twilight Sparkle as soon as that foolish pony dared to come down the stairs.
“Come down darling, I am waiting for you.”
Although the sound of steps did not decline in frequency, she could still hear the volume declining, giving away the angst of a mortal pony upon hearing her magnificent voice. Twilight’s fear was thoroughly reasonable, Fluttershy would not only defeat Twilight, but would also bring her the eternal damnation she deserved. For years she had pretended to be somepony who she wasn’t to lure Twilight into a false sense of comfort in her inconceivable plan. Of course she could have wiped the miserable Twilight Sparkle from the face of her world at any time, yet she had decided to torture that wimpy pony even more than merely through death. The princess would not only suffer eternal physical pain, but also be driven to the realm of insanity for Fluttershy’s amusement. With every step she heard, the smile on her face broadened a bit more as her excitement was already spreading through the dimensions of the multiverse.
“Fl… Flutter… Fluttershy, please answer?”
The laughter shattered through every part of Equestria, causing multiple disruptions in the continuum of time and space. Fluttilion black holes opened as a result, consuming the world around them and sucking up every undesired part of the world. Of course no normal number could even suffice the magnitude of her laughter, so she had conceived of a number that would kill any pony if it were to be spoken or even heard.
The last stairs had been trespassed, there was no return for Twilight anymore, if there ever even had been any. Like a small ant, Twilight would unknowingly work her way deeper into Fluttershy’s den. With every single Fluttercond going by - of course no measurement system could even hope to be sufficient for a goddess of her brilliance and devotion - , Twilight came a bit closer to the inevitable end Fluttershy had long foreseen for her. Even before the birth of the first ponies, Fluttershy had already prepared this day in her unimaginable foresight.
It was all set in motion. She had only made a thought, but the immense power behind her imagination had caused the laws of conservation of energy to fade. Only with the unimaginable power of her thoughts, she forced the entire universe to follow her command. She accelerated far beyond mortal possibilities, defying every single law of physics, as those were nothing but simple assemblies of letters to her. When she broke through the barrier of lightspeed, she created an infinitum of energies that would soon consume the entirety of the cosmos. Her hoof had immeasurable energy within it, itself radiating like Fluttilion suns.
“Ouch, Fluttershy! Why are you hitting me?”
Twilight was slightly confused to see Fluttershy like … this. Never before had she shy pony been as overly introverted as this. Fluttershy had buried herself in her shed for days, not letting any visitor inside, even when it had been her closest friends. Twilight sighed in disapproval: She should have never allowed Fluttershy to go on a trip alone with Discord.
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- Flint Sparks · 9.4k words · 39 5 · 972 views
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...My god. This... I got nothing.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Umm... what?
3621866
3621931
Yep, exactly
There is one question that remains for me:
How were you able to comment on this story even though it is not submitted yet?
3621939
Skeeter linked the story to me... So there's your answer
How he came across it? Hell if I know
3621866
... I don't get it.
3622055
A tribute to the site famous TWILIGHT SPARKLE FIXES EVERYTHING.
You know, that fic out lovely little Skype group convinced Between Lines to make.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3622058
Well, good stories are good and deserve to be praised, no matter where they came from. I am glad about that skype conversation of yours though, or else we would have one less awesomely comedic story :D
MANES INFINITE SPARKLE! approve of this story
3622248
The famous manes approves of this story? This gotta mean something !
3622377
MANES THE ONE!! Indeed
So weird... I just read TWILIGHT FIXES EVERYTHING, a second time yesterday. That kind of just creeps me out. Anyway, I like this story too. Good work!
3622456
Thanks. I did a dramatic reading of Twilight fixes Everything the last days, that is where the idea stems from
3622456
3622058
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lE_ooyr0c6c
His accent makes it even cooler :D
3622055
The great and famous Einhander commented on my story?
Best day evar !
Victory: achieved
3626568 I'm famous?
:0
3626954
255 followers, 3 awesome stories that reached the front page, thousands of views. Yes, I'd call you pretty famous
This was strange yet amusing.
3626568
I'm sorry, but this would only be funny to me if you got someone to do a dramatic reading.
3643508
I think I actually did one myself, I don't know, whether I should post the link though. My voice is strange
3645533
Ummm... DO IT!!! Besides, I don't care about those sorts of things, as long as it's funny in the end.
3646273
Okay, here you go. But BEWARE, my voice is absolutely STRANGE
It might or might not turn you to insanity and it might or might not even exist. It might all be an illusion of your mind, a single thought to keep you from realizing the truth, the truth that could or could not save your pitiful soul in those coming moments.
3646894
Best. Dramatic. Reading. EVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!