22. What's a d!ck?
Rainbow hadn’t gone to bed early the night before that one. In fact, she stayed up until nearly eleven in the evening. Eventually, she did pass out in her sleeping bag in the back of her dad’s office. The rest of the night, she peacefully slept until she was awakening at seven in the morning. It was at that time she would be forced out of her comfortable sleeping sac and had to fly home. The filly was extremely tired when she woke up, and even more tired after a long, ten minute flight to her house. Almost the second she walked in the door, she crawled down the hallway and into her room, only to plop onto her bed and pass back out. Usually, she was used to sleeping in until ten or eleven in the morning when she returned from her dad's job, so waking up only twenty minutes later was awful to her. It was her father who had the responsibility of getting her butt up that early.
Gently, Rainbolt shook his daughter out of her short slumber.
“Rainbow…” he said in a calm voice. “Time to get up, Sweetheart… School’s starting…”
The little filly distastefully moaned as her father urged her to get out of bed. She turned around with an annoyed moan and put her hooves to her ears.
“No!” She protested. “I don’t want to! I’m not feeling better yet!”
“Rainbow…” He sighed. “Not only did you get your cast off last week, but you’ve been flying ever since. You’re not helpless….”
“You can’t prove anything!” the filly argued.
Rainbolt grabbed his daughter’s blanket and quickly ripped it from her. Her pink eyes shot opened as she jolted, sitting upward.
“Give it back!” she cried and tried desperately to grab at her soft treasure.
“Well…looks like you’re awake now…”
Rainbow became irritated and jumped from her bed. She reached out her hooves and tried desperately to cling onto her comforting, soft, blanket. Her father continued to keep it way out of her grasp.
“Nope! You’re grounded from blankets until you get home from school today!”
The little filly reached out further and further.
“No! I need sleep!”
“Rainbow… It’s going on seven-thirty…. School starts at eight.”
The little filly grunted and tried to grab at her love. Rainbolt remained firm and kept it in the air. He proceeded to fold it up and tuck it under his wing.
“Please, Rainbow… I know you hate going to school, and the first day is always the worst, but can you please be a good little filly… For me?”
The cyan pegasus sighed.
“Fine! But only because it’s your birthday!” Rainbow slowly rolled out of bed. “You should let me stay home to celebrate with you!”
Rainbolt chuckled. “Sweetheart, you going to school is my birthday present!” The stallion then felt a sudden pain in his heart when his daughter looked up at him with big, sad eyes as if she were insulted. “I mean, I loved spending summer with you, but I also enjoy some alone time!”
Rainbow rose to her hooves and stared at her dad.
“It’s not like it’s that much different…”
“Well… it sort of is… I rarely got any time to myself, so I think it’ll be sort of nice… You like your alone time, don’t you…?”
“Well, yeah, but you’re my dad!”
Rainbolt sighed. At that point, it seemed much wiser to simply drop the argument.
“So, you hungry, Dashie?”
“Yeah... What do we have?”
“Umm…we have cereal and some oats…Maybe some crackers.”
Rainbow sighed and left the room.
“Do we at least have sugar?”
Rainbolt left his daughter’s chamber along with the unenthusiastic filly.
“Uh, yeah… Just don’t overdo it, alright…?”
“I won’t! Promise!” The little filly smiled as she trotted down their hall and into their kitchen. Up in their cabinet rested a nice, big box of oats. Her father knew how to cook them just right with some water, sugar, and if she were lucky, cinnamon.
With a determined smile on her face, Rainbow flapped her at long-last repaired wings and levitated off the ground. She flew upwards and swung opened the door to the little cabinet. In there rested several boxes of unopened cereal and a large container of oats. Rainbow smiled as she took it down. She set the cylinder on the counter as her father entered to kitchen. Rainbow looked at her dad and smiled.
“Can you make me oats?”
Her father let out a sigh as he stepped onto the tiled area.
“When are you going to learn to make your own breakfast? You’ll be grown up and out of the house eventually. What’ll you do without me?”
“Pssh! That’s won’t be for like, another ten years! I have tons of time!” she chimed brightly, looking up at her daddy. “Besides, I know how to cook it, you just make it a lot better!”
Rainbolt then looked at his daughter for a moment before smiling widely. “Alright, Sweetheart… I’ll cook this morning, but when you get into the sixth grade, you’re going to start cooking all by yourself.”
Rainbow smiled. Sixth grade? That was a full year from then! She didn’t have to worry about cooking for a long while.
“Okay, Daddy… I love you…” she said, nuzzling her head against his chest. The stallion gently wrapped a hoof around his foal and rubbed her back.
“No problem, Sweetie. Now, go get showered or something.”
Rainbow grunted. “But Daddy! I hate bathing!”
“Rainbow… If you want to go to school smelling bad, that’s your problem.”
“It’s not a problem. It keeps the other foals away from me.”
Rainbolt stared at his daughter a moment. He then blinked and shook his head.
“Just go be productive… And if you don’t shower, I’ll spray you done with my cologne.”
Rainbow did nothing but smile and nod at her father. “Okay Dad!”
On several different occasions, Rainbolt had masked his daughter in the masculine sent when she didn’t shower. It was rather strong, but she never seemed to mind much. She’d simply lift her head up and proudly accept several squirts to her neck and forehooves. She didn’t like the strong odor, but preferred it to showering by a longshot. After a few days of not showering, however, she was forced to wash no matter what.
As Rainbolt started cooking breakfast for his filly, Rainbow left the kitchen and bolted to her bedroom. As tempted as she was to go back to bed, she knew it would only make her more attached to her wonderful sheets and mattress once more. Instead, she went to her saddle bag and opened the pocket in it. Double checking her items was always a good idea. Miss Stormy would surely have work on the very first day, and coming to school with no pencil wouldn’t have been the best idea. She stared down into her opened pocket and examined her materials; paper, pencils, folders, a notebook, and…crayons.
The moment the pegasus remembered her colorful, waxy sticks, a grin spread across her face as she thought of an idea.
“Rainbow…” the stallion started, entering his daughter’s room. “Breakfast is ready. I put your sugar on so you don’t take too much…”
There, in the center of the room, Rainbow was scribbling something on a folded sheet of paper. A light blue crayon rested in her mouth as she continued to write. At the sound of her father’s voice, Rainbow spit out the utensil and looked up at her dad.
“Dad!” she chimed brightly. “I made you something!”
Rainbolt raised an eyebrow. “Made me something? Really?”
“Yeah….” Happily, the little filly raised her paper into her father’s view. On the front, it had the words “Happy Birthday” written in big, red letters. The paper itself was regular, boring, lined paper. The stallion smiled to himself and felt sudden warmth in his heart. Rainbow occasionally made him letters for his birthday, but every time she did it made him very happy. Simply to know she put effort into something to make him feel good was enough to put a smile on his face.
“Awe… That’s so sweet…” Dash simply nodded with a cute smile. “May I see it?” he asked after a brief pause.
“Sure!” Rainbow picked herself up off the ground and brought her father the miniature masterpiece she’d worked on. He took the paper in his hooves and smiled as he opened it. The inside was written in a soft shade of purple and covered nearly the entire page. There was a little drawing on the left side that could be depicted as him and Rainbow hugging.
Dear Dad,
I just wanted to say happy birthday and I love you. Thank you for cooking and cleaning and other stuff you do to make me happy. You’re the most amazing dad I could ever ask for. I don’t remember how old you are, but I think you’re like twenty-five or something. I don’t want to get sappy or anything, but you’re cool and I love you. I hope you have a nice day and have fun and stuff.
Love,
Rainbow.
P.S.: You should let me take off school.
Rainbolt smiled and occasionally chuckled as he read the letter. Rainbow was never that good with words, but he still felt melty when he read the sweet message.
“That’s really nice, Sweetheart…Also, nice try. You’ve had nearly three months off school.”
Rainbow sighed in defeat. It was worth a shot, anyway.
“I know… just trying…”
Rainbolt giggled. “Also, I’m twenty-eight.”
The cyan filly looked up at her father. “Wow, Dad… You’re old.”
“I’m not old!” he argued. “You can call me old when my mane turns gray and I get wrinkles!”
“You’re still old.”
“Maybe in comparison to you I am…”
Rainbow looked up at her father a moment before smiling. In her opinion, twenty-eight did seem like a lot, and in her mind, her father was still old. If he was delusional enough to believe he was young, then that was his problem, and he would have to face the consequences later on in life.
“Whatever you say, Dad!”
Rainbow flew next to her dad as they soared onto the grounds of her school. The outside area was littered with a whole bunch of colts and fillies of all different ages and sizes. Most were running around, hugging their parents goodbye, or talking with missed peers. Rainbolt and the unenthused filly landed on the large patch of sky supporting the prison.
“I hope you have a nice day, Sweetheart.”
“Not likely.” the filly bluntly stated.
“Hey, come on. Go in with a positive attitude, and the rest of the day will be better. Nothing ruins a good day like a negative attitude.”
Rainbow did nothing but grunt to show her frustration. Slowly, the stallion leaned down and gently nuzzled his sweet daughter. She blushed heavily when he landed a soft kiss on her cheek.
“Dad, you’re embarrassing me!” she squeaked and shuffled away from her caring parent.
“Sorry… I’m just trying to make you feel better…”
“No, I’m sorry…” She let out a long sigh before quickly hugging her dad. “I hope you have a nice day, Daddy… I’m sorry I haven’t been in a good mood this morning.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to. I was always a sourpuss every time I had to face a new school year.”
Rainbow smiled. “Thanks, Dad…”
“Anytime, Sweetie. So…anything else before I buzz off?”
The pegasus simply shook her head, and with that, her father shot up into the light blue sky with a quick "Goodbye". She was again left alone to defend herself against the large school. Not even a moment had passed when Rainbow heard an obnoxious, familiar voice from behind her.
“Well, well, well… If it isn’t Rainbow Crash….”
The filly turned around to lay eyes on two colts she never thought she’d meet again. One had a shabby, extremely light brown mane with a dark brown coat. His eyes were a pretty shade of blue and he wore an unattractive smirk. His partner had an unappealing shade of orange for a coat and painfully long, brown bangs that swooped in front of his green eyes.
“What are you two doing here?” she asked, slowly gaining cockiness in her tone. Ever since she’d drilled them both in a race at Summer Flight Camp, she’d gained tons of pride. To see them at her school was something she hadn’t expected.
“Our parents got together and moved.” Hoops said with smirk before blowing his messy, brown mane away from his green eyes.
Oh, great. Just what she needed to start her school year off; two annoying colts to share her class with. What more could she ask for? She even muttered the words, “Oh great…” under her breath.
“So…” Dumbbell, the idiotic partner of Hoops started off. “Was that your dad back there….?”
“Uh, yeah, why…?”
The two colts stared at each other for a moment and started to snicker. The filly began to fill with anger as her father was being laughed at behind his back.
“What’s so funny?” she asked in anger.
“Oh, nothing…” the orange colt said with a chuckle. “It’s just, he looks really gay…”
“Gay…? What’s gay mean?”
The two colts glanced at each other, trying hard to suppress their laughter. Was she dumb or something?
“It means he likes to suck dick.”
Rainbow tilted her head and raised an eyebrow.
“What’s a dick?”
It was then the two colts could no longer hold it in, and both burst into volatile laughter. Maybe, she was a little stupider than they originally thought.
“You seriously don’t know?” Dumbbell teased harshly.
“Well… I mean, yeah…Like, what is it? And why would you suck it…? Is it a food?” she replied, then felt oddly embarrassed.
One shot the other a smug smirk.
“Well maybe you should ask your daddy! I’m sure he would know!”
“A little birdie told us you’ve been motherless your whole life!” Hoops added on. “No wonder! You’re dad looks more like a mare than a real stallion!”
“Hey!” Rainbow snapped angrily. “You can’t talk that way about my daddy! Nopony does! I’ll beat you both up!”
Rainbow didn’t want to admit it, but she felt tears starting to invade her glistening eyes. Why would they say that about her father…? Was it the small amounts of affection he gave her as he left the school grounds? Was it his vibrant, pastel colors? Did he give off some sort of vibe or something…? Maybe, it was simply the rude, immature colts that wanted something new to make fun of.
The two colts simply snickered at her empty threats and walked away with some sense of triumph in their hearts. Rainbow stood there, doing nothing but simply watching them walk away. She let out a sigh and made an attempt to wrap her mind around everything she’d just heard. Although she was overflowing with anger, she still was a tiny bit curious…
What was a dick…?
Rainbolt sighed happily as he went through old boxes stored away in his closet. Maybe reflecting on life wasn’t the best thing to do on his birthday, but it was certainly something to ease his boredom. Besides, he hadn’t gone through his old mementoes for a very long time. With his room cluttered in old memories, he pulled out the fifth box that morning. It wasn’t too heavy, or too big, but did catch his attention nonetheless. The stallion set the cardboard box on the floor and slid the lid off. When his yellow eyes set on the memory below him, he took in a gasp and smiled. Inside the box, there was a large, dusty book with cobwebs forming at the edges. Rainbolt almost instantly remembered the cover and lifted his prized possession out of the box with a smile.
“My old photo album…”
Rainbolt smiled as he slowly flipped opened the cover of the aging book. The very first page displayed him and his siblings as very young foals. Rainbolt smiled at the picture of himself wrapped up in a blanket with a bottle in his mouth. Next to him was a picture of Sunshine, who had the most adorable smile as a foal. She was in a pink diaper and was sucking on a pacifier cutely, lying on her back in her crib. His other sister was shown in a little diaper with a smile spread on her face. She, however, was covered in gooey fudge and had a tangled, messy mane. Then, in the bottom right corner was his brother, who was a surprisingly adorable foal. He was smiling gleefully with a teddy bear wrapped in his hooves. Rainbolt simply sighed and turned the page. The content on that page made his smile grow. It was a photo of him, all his siblings, and his mother and father. Rainbolt was only two when the photo was taken. He was smiling widely and being held in the arms of his father. Prism Streak was standing proudly, and his brother was standing next to Sunshine Blue with a smile. It was a strange sight, but was oddly heart-warming.
“I bet Rainbow would like to see some of these…” he thought aloud, as he continued scrolling through fond memories. His beamed brighter as he turned the page and saw him and his eldest sister hugging when he was only six. Even he had to admit he was a cute, little colt. At the time, his rainbow mane was tangled and his smile was awkward. A few other pictures were of his parents kissing each other and holding new-born foals in their hooves.
Rainbolt then flipped a few more pages, getting closer to pictures of him as a teenager. He smiled and blushed as he landed on one that brought back tons of memories. He was forcing a smile, showing off the bridge of metal that covered his teeth. His hoof awkwardly wrapped around his older brother, who was forced to hug him back. He used to remember his mother saying “Now act like you love each other” when she’d take pictures. Although the smiles were often times faked, there were still emotions deep within their hearts. It may not have been love, but it was most certainly an emotion.
Rainbolt flipped through a few more pages only to lay eyes on something…he didn’t exactly remember putting in there. For on one of the last pages, there was a picture of Rainbolt and Firefly lovingly hugging each other. Large, genuine smiles were plastered on their faces. Just by looking at it, one could tell how deeply in love they were. Rainbolt felt his eyes start to water as he closed the book and tossed it aside. He let out a long breath and stared at the ground as he remembered how it felt to be deeply in love with somepony.
“I’m going to die alone…” He then looked up and took in a long breath. As he knew, moping about his troubles wouldn’t get him anywhere. If anything, he needed to something productive to get his mind off the subject.
Rainbow’s day sucked, to under exaggerate. It had started with Windy boasting about her new cutie mark and how great it was. Rainbow didn’t find anything interesting about it. The mark was nothing but a cloud with some wind going through it. And she thought my cutie mark was useless…
The day continued out, growing increasingly crappy. Miss Stormy assigned them an essay, explaining how summer break caused young foals to struggle in school. That was a subject Rainbow had no intentions to write about. With questions circling in her mind, she didn’t want to write about anything. She didn’t want to do a lick of work, but Miss Stormy had other plans for the young filly.
After starting her crappy essay, she was sent out to lunch with the rest of the fillies and colts. She sat in a remote area away from everypony else. Not only did she not have any friends at school, but she didn’t want to be approached by the two irritating colts or her dreaded enemy. She dined on nasty leftovers and potato chips. When she returned from lunch, she was given a math quiz to see how much she remembered from the summer. Surprisingly enough, she failed. Math was never her forte.
The day continued to inch along slowly with long reading passages, a history lesson, and hardly any free time. Finally, after a long six hours in school, three dings released her from the awful prison. The moment the clock hit two, all of her peers left the room. She, however, had to remain seated and wait for her dad to come get her. There, she’d get started on any homework that was assigned to her. Unfortunately, she was given the kind of teacher that would give her homework on the very first day of school.
Silently, Rainbow sat at her desk and tackled her worst assignment; finishing the essay. She always hated writing assignments. The topics were boring and uninteresting, but she knew she’d have to get it done eventually. She knew if she let her grade slip, she’d be grounded for a little while, and that was something she did not want to see happen.
As Rainbow examined her paper, she felt nearly defeated when she realized she’d only written a little over a paragraph. Why did life have to be so cruel? Why couldn’t she have just finished the damn thing at school?
Reluctantly, the young filly started her assignment with dread in her heart. She put her sharp pencil to the paper, but was immediately stopped by a stallion opening the door. Her pink eyes darted from her unfinished assignment to her father. She smiled and instantly tossed her paper back into her saddlebag.
“Dad!” she chimed happily.
“Heya, Sweetheart. How was your day?”
“Eh… okay…” she lied and threw her saddle bag onto her shoulders. “How was yours?”
“Pretty good…” he admitted. “I got bored halfway through the day and made some cupcakes.”
Rainbow smiled. “What kind?” Slowly, the father and daughter abandoned the classroom.
“Chocolate. Our favorite.”
Rainbow smiled. Her day may have been quite crappy, but that was at least a decent way to end it.
“Chocolate frosting, too?”
“You bet!” He licked his lips at the thought of it. “I haven’t tried one yet. I didn’t want to eat one without you.”
Dash grinned as they continued down the hallway. She truly did have one of the greatest fathers alive. The duo made their way down the hall in silence and exited the double doors at the end of the hallway. There, they both stared into the clear, blue sky. Rainbolt turned to his daughter, and nodded to her with a grin. She nodded back, and they both proceeded to shoot up into the atmosphere.
Rainbow took a bite of the sweet, tasty cupcake before her. The cake itself was soft and moist, but deliciously topped with a creamy, white frosting. The delicious treat was easily penetrated by the filly’s teeth and sent a storm of sweet flavors into her hungry mouth. She moaned as the flavors filled her mouth. Yet again, her father’s cooking didn’t let her down.
Rainbolt was also munching on the well-baked treat. He’d learned the simple recipe from his mother, and held onto it ever since. He always did enjoy cooking with her as a teenage colt.
“Wow…this is really good…” Dashie commented as she popped another bite of the delectable treat in her mouth.
“Thanks, and I know…So,” the stallion swallowed another bite of the cupcake. “What’d you do today?”
“Well… Miss Stormy made me write an essay on why summer was bad or something like that…”
The stallion simply chuckled. “I bet you can’t wait until this school year is over… I know Miss Stormy hasn’t exactly been your favorite teacher…”
“Yeah…she hasn’t…” Rainbow smiled, thinking back on more of her day. “We also took a math quiz… It was on everything we learned before we were let out for summer… I failed it.”
Rainbolt rolled his eyes. “Well, at least you have something to put in your essay about why summer’s bad and everything…”
“I guess…” she started hesitantly. “Oh, and remember those two kids I told you about that went to Summer Flight Camp with me?” Her dad thought for a moment.
“Actually…you told me about quite a lot of foals from Summer Flight Camp… could you be more specific?”
“Remember the two colts I beat in a race that got me my cutie mark?” she reminded him in a some-what prideful tone.
“Oh, yeah… What about them?”
“They moved closer to our area, and now they go to school with me…”
“Oh…And that’s a…bad thing, right?” he asked hesitantly.
Rainbow simply nodded and took another bite of her desert. “They’re little bullies…” she said with a mouth stuffed with cupcake.
“Oh…I’m sorry to hear that…”
Rainbow brushed it off and looked at her cupcake. “It’s not like it’s your fault or anything…”
It was then Rainbow remembered something that had been fading in and out of her mind all day long. The two obnoxious colts had mentioned something called a dick. She didn’t know why she’d been so curious about the subject, but it just seemed significant. They talked about sucking it, which made it seem like a food, yet…the way they talked made it seem as though they meant it in a mean way. What food could you eat that could possibly get one made fun of so harshly…? It had also been annoying her that they thought she was somehow stupid for simply not knowing what it was. It was then she decided to get everything straightened out. Surely, her father would have the answers to her unasked question.
“Hey Dad?” she asked.
“Yeah, Rainbow?”
“Can I...ask you something?”
The stallion smiled. “Sure thing, Sweetheart. What’s on your mind?” Rainbolt quietly took another bite of his delicious, homemade treat and awaited the question.
“What’s a dick?” she asked bluntly.
As the words left his daughter’s mouth, Rainbolt’s yellow eyes went wide. His heart skipped a beat and he almost coughed on his desert. She…couldn’t have just asked what he thought she did… Could she…?
Nervously, the father swallowed his bite of sugary goodness and stared at his daughter with a blank expression.
“I…beg your pardon…?”
“What’s a dick?” she reiterated.
The stallion blushed and stared at his little filly with a heavy blush. His eyes were still wide and his heart beat heavily.
“Rainbow…I…” He thought for a moment… Maybe, if it were used in the right context, he could wiggle his way out of that one. “Sweetheart… What was the sentence?”
“I don’t know… A couple foals at my school just mentioned something about sucking dick… What’s that mean…?”
Rainbolt froze. His daughter… His sweet, innocent daughter knew nothing about sex whatsoever, and there she was casually saying the word “dick” as if there were nothing wrong with it. She…wanted to know… And eventually, he knew she was going to find out. She was nine years old, and there was no way he could hide the simply facts of life from her forever. Maybe he could just tell her a wishy-washy version of the process or something… He knew he could just tell it was a male’s private part, but she’d still be confused about the sucking and everything else.
Just face it, Rainbolt…this had to happen eventually. Be a good dad and tell her what she wants to know… it’s either you tell her, or she’ll find out from kids at school… And if kids at school tell her, it may be worse… Don’t you think she at least deserves to have a long talk with her parent about it? I think that’d be more meaningful than some snotty kids trying to tell her about it… They won’t be able to answer the questions like you would. Besides, I think she’d be a bit more comfortable learning this from me than anypony else… The stallion looked at his daughter and sighed. Come on…Just do it before she learns the hard way… I just hope this doesn’t kill her innocence…
“Rainbow Dash…” he finally said. “I…think it’s time you and me had a little talk…”
The filly cocked her head. “A talk?”
“Yeah…just a one-to-one chat… But I think we should go to your room…it’d be more comfortable in there.”
Rainbow was still rather confused. Why did they have to go in a completely separate room just to talk? It seemed rather odd, but surely her father knew what he was doing…
“Okay…”
Rainbolt removed himself from his seat and started to go down the hallway.
“Bring your cupcake, Sweetie…”
Rainbow obeyed, hopping down from her chair and galloping towards her own bedroom. Her father opened her door, and allowed her to go inside first. She hesitantly entered her chamber and felt a shiver go down her spine as Rainbolt closed the door behind them. That day, her room seemed darker and less comfortable to be in.
“Have a seat on your bed… We may be here a little bit…”
Rainbow looked back at her father and quietly made her way to her bed. She sat on top of it and quickly finished her cupcake off, never removing her eyes from her dad. With a quickly thumping heart, he sat on the bed next to his daughter. He felt his pulse rising and heat in his cheeks as he stared in the eyes of his innocent sweetheart.
“Okay, Rainbow Dash…” he started, wrapping a wing around her slowly. “We’re… about to have a conversation that’ll change the way you see life… If anything comes to your head that you want to ask, don’t be afraid to let it out.” Silently, the filly nodded. Rainbolt continued. “To start off… I’ll answer your original question. You want to know what a, ummm… dick is?”
“Yeah…”
The stallion took in a deep breath.
“Well… you know your… private place…?” Rainbow nodded. “Well…instead of having what you have, a stallion or colt has a dick… it’s actually called a penis, but…you know…” he looked at his daughter who was even more curious than before.
“How’s it different…?” was her second question.
“Well… it’s kind of shaped like this…” The stallion drew a phallic symbol in the air with his hooves. “Like, it goes outwards instead of inwards…”
“Oh…” was all she said. “So… why would they mention.. sucking it?”
“It’s kind of because… to some ponies, that feels good…”
“But…wouldn’t that be nasty…?”
“It is…” was all he said with a hot blush smeared on his face. “But… it just…Rainbow, do you…know what sex is?” it was a dumb question, but necessary at the time.
“Umm…no…”
“Well… it’s sort of how kids are made… If a stallion and a mare have sex, the mare will get pregnant and have a kid…”
“Oh… How do you do sex?”
Rainbolt hesitated before answering her question in the most modest way he could think of.
“Well…it’s kind of like… their privates’ touch, and after a while, it’ll end and then the mare will get pregnant…”
The filly cocked her head. “So…that’s what you did to make me…?”
“Well…sort of, yeah…” he blushed heavily.
“What’d it feel like…?”
The stallion couldn’t help but smile as he thought back on the night of his eighteenth birthday. “Well… It kind of feels good… But, don’t do it… It should only be done when two ponies love each other very much, and they want to have a kid.”
Rainbow chuckled. “Well…I won’t do that ever because I don’t want foals!”
“Good... I hope that’s true.” Rainbolt smiled at his daughter. To his shock, explaining everything wasn’t too hard.
“So... what’s gay mean? Hoops and Dumbbell just told me it means you like to suck dick…”
“Not exactly...” Rainbolt thought for a minute and smiled. “Actually, he was way off… Do you know how mares fall in love with stallions and everything?” Dash nodded. “Well, gay simply means you like the same gender. Like, mares fall in love with mares and stallions fall in love with stallions…”
Rainbow smiled. “That’s sort of sweet…”
“Yeah… It is…”
“Dad…?”
“Yeah, Dashie…?”
“The colts from my school thought you were gay… Are you?”
Rainbolt actually laughed at the accusation. “No, Sweetheart… I’m not… I don’t exactly roll that way…”
“So… if you were that means I could have two daddies?”
“Yeah… but sorry, I’m just not into other stallions… I hope I didn’t disappoint you.”
“No, I was just curious…”
The stallion warmly brought his daughter in for a hug. She wrapped her hooves around his torso as well.
“You know, if you ever have questions about this kind of stuff, don’t be afraid to ask me, okay…?”
“Okay… I will…”
Rainbolt felt his daughter breathing out hot air onto his chest. He smiled, looking down at her with pride. Even if that day hadn’t gone too well for either of them, the results were still pretty good. Luckily for Rainbolt, the explanation of the birds and the bees hadn’t turned out so bad. It wasn’t until a long minute had passed that Rainbow spoke up again.
“Dad…?”
“Yeah, Rainbow?”
“Does…sex make ponies sweat…?”
“I, uh…yeah, sometimes…”
She then thought for a moment longer.
“Does it make them moan?”
“Yeah…sometimes….why?”
The little filly looked up at her father with tears invading her eyes.
“Wh-what’s wrong, Rainbow…?”
“Daddy…I…I think I prevented Fluttershy from getting a little brother or sister…”
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Oh god...that last line...too much...
the hilarity, IT BURNSSS!!!!
Respawn:
4013500 No respawns allowed!!! "kicks from game"
.......... oh Christ, rainbow....... really?
I feel bad for rainbow
she must feel super bad , but still great charater
crap.
*starts writing a new fic.
Someponys gonna die tonight
Oh my God! Speaking of being gay, didn't you mention in the family reunion chapter that one of Rainbolt's sisters was a lesbian, or do I have a false memory?
Wow, this chapter was awesome
I feel sorry for Rainbow and her Dad to go through so much stuff, but man, there was definitely some comedy mixed in with the drama this time LOL.
IT'S HERE
I was not disappoint.
OP, I applaud you. Have several fluttershys.
Damn....Rainbow puts 2 and 2 together
4013730 no I'm pretty sure your memory serves you right. That is true
I had to cover my face in pillows so i didn't wake my family from the laughing
tis great keep it up
That ending! It was both cute and right into the Pride that is making family.
A cylinder of oats? Your talking about Quaker Oats aren't cha?
Soon...
.
I liked the feels here. And no Rainbolt, you won't die alone. <half hidden>
Of course Fluttershy has a sister; a sad, crippled, enthusiastic pegasis named Scootaloo
4014180 Dude I've been living one of those stories for 5 years now. I really connect with this story because it's pretty close to my actual life from 20 to 25.
4014180 For one thing, Rainbolt and Firefly were never actually married.
Also, I believe Firefly will never ever be good for what she did, but I do believe nobody deserves to spend a lifetime of suffering, no matter how bad they messed up.
4013730 Nope, it's true, and I was actually considering having Rainbolt mention it, but didn't.
4014152 I keep getting comments that tell me something is funny or certain parts make them laugh. I'm so confused
I don't even know what I wrote that was so funny, but somehow others think it's comical, and I'm seriously just wondering what I did....
Another great chapter; and that last line was absolutely hilarious. I can only imagine Rainbolt's response, and what happens when he meets Dreamscape again.
Is this also the Rainbolt's birthday chapter, or is going to be the next chapter?
Also, how long will it take for Rainbolt to see that the right mare was there all along? RainboltXSurpriseFTW
Well, Rainbow. If you want to know what a real dick is, just look at this idiot called UniqueSKD. He's the biggest dick on the internet you'll ever -
Oh, wait a minute...
DAMN IT!
Anyway, great chapter, and hilarious! Well done, Pizzy! Well done! Encore! Bravo! Congrats!
Oh...
my....
god....
can't breathe!
Damon, last line made me almost choke on a raisin English muffin.
Lolololol i was expecting a chapter like this to come eventually. It turned out awesome
. Loving the story!
4014841 I just found it funny that Rainbolt was so nervousness about telling Rainbow yet Rainbow had no problems with it
just entertained me
That last line made me laugh so hard!
Good job, as always!
lol
The birds and the bees. I've been waiting for this chapter for so long, and it was so worth it.
4014136 no, when he went to the social bar the first mare he went to waved him off and told him she was a lesbian.
4013730 The text above speaks the truth, read it a few hours ago
Lol this chapter, especially the ending!
4017088 Actually, Rainbolt's sister is a lesbian. The mare at the bar was too, though.
4017357 hmmm could you make them a thing?... SUB PLOT!!!
4017546 Well, my next chapter does revolve around Rainbow's extended family again, so I could if I wanted to.... Hmm... I'll think about it.
4017552 woohoo I made a thing happen
... Maybe
hahaha, I'm sorry. Please give me a second... Bwahahahahahahaha!
4013594
"No respawns allowed!"
:l
This is a sandbox server, right?
Aww...
Rainbow...
I did not expect that last line. This chapter was great!
Thats every parents dream for 'the talk' to be that easy like holy hell
Hahah! Another way cute chapter!
HA! Dumbell and Hoops are arseholes. BTW, hI Pizzy! Been a looooong time!
4024482 Hi
4017357 oh... Ok I just don't remember that part then
4026345 It's okay. Our memories screw us all.
Awww, that ending was cute.
*facepalm* why pizzy why? Lol that ending was great haha ... poor rainbolt btw when does griffin show up ???? Soon :D???
Well.... Time to talk about the sleep over. :\
4031910 Well, Rainbow's nine, and Gilda will show up sometime between the ages of 12-14