Chapter 13
Octavia grumbled something unintelligible in response to the hoof that pressed against her side and roused her from her light slumber. She grumbled again and rolled away to stop the gentle nudging. When that failed, she curled up into a gray ball and covered her face with her long black tail.
“Tavi...” came a quiet voice.
"Go 'way..." she mumbled into her legs as she flattened her ears to the side of her head.
“Tavi, wake up,” the voice asserted in an annoyingly insistent way.
It was the kind of voice that made its intention perfectly clear, even through the tired haze that was looming over Octavia’s mind. She could tell by the repeated nudges and the inflection of the voice that it wouldn't stop bothering her until she acknowledged it. She grumbled some more under her breath about unholy demons before she begrudgingly uncurled from her position on the plush carpet and slowly sat upright. She rubbed a hoof across the side of her face and immediately winced as it passed under her left eye. The sharp lance of pain seemed to only make her suddenly aware of how much her headache had worsened since she had fallen asleep.
She shifted her gaze upwards with an accusatory glance, as if to say that she blamed this pony for all of the discomfort she was experiencing right now. She blinked and then rubbed her eyes more carefully this time to confirm that it was in fact Oliver standing over her with an expression that was a mix of shock, confusion, and frustration.
“What?” she asked with the air of an impatient foal when he refused to speak up. She turned her groggy gaze over towards the bed to see if Vinyl was still asleep.
Once she had confirmed that Vinyl was still gently snoring on the bed, she lifted a hoof to her mouth and then motioned with it for Oliver to back out of the bedroom. His expression shifted to that of mostly confusion, but he eventually complied after a menacing look from Octavia that was followed by a mimed shoving motion with her hooves.
“What the hell is going on, Octavia?” Oliver demanded in a not-very-hushed tone once the door was shut. “Why is your stuff downstairs, why are you two up here instead of recording and, most importantly, why in the name of Celestia’s royal flank is there a bloodied dent in the wall downstairs?”
“Will you be quiet?” Octavia growled under her breath as she stepped closer with such menace that he backed away several steps. “If you wake her up, after everything that she has been through today, I will physically harm you...”
“Okay, fine. Care to explain what the hell happened today? It looks like you two violently beat somepony downstairs. There’s even a dent in the wall outside of the studio from the door...” Oliver insisted through an exasperated expression that made it clear he was afraid he was going to have to fix everything.
“That’s because I did,” Octavia replied nonchalantly as she rubbed the right side of her face with a gray forehoof in a futile attempt to will the headache away.
“What?” Oliver demanded at the top of his voice before he stepped back several more paces and shot an apologetic look at the mare seething with anger in front of him. He started to talk again and raised his hoof defensively, but stopped before he managed to say anything intelligible. He hung his mouth open as he stared at her for a good minute, unable to form words properly. “S-sorry, being quiet... but what the hell happened to your face?”
“Is it really that bad? I got punched out,” she replied simply through a yawn and then chuckled at his shocked reaction. “You should really see what happened to the other pony...”
“You’re sporting quite a black eye there, Tavi. I already have a few ideas on what happened, though. I mentioned it already. Large dent in the wall with flecks of blood all over it? Might be relevant to the situation?” he added sarcastically before he covered his face with a hoof. “Are we going to get in trouble for this, Octavia?”
“Celestia, no. That stupid stallion started it. He made his way up to the studio and was waiting for us- well, Vinyl. He threatened Vinyl, punched me out when I realized he intended her harm, and then, when I came to, he was...” Octavia shivered from head to hoof as she struggled to put the vile act into words. “He was attempting to assault her, and no, I don’t mean that he was trying to punch or kick her...”
Oliver stared at her for a long moment with his mouth hanging slightly open. Octavia imagined that she could hear the faint whirring as the gears turned inside his head, and then he finally blinked several times in rapid succession before managing to find his voice. “W-wait, which stallion was this?”
“You know, that idiot who used to get into shouting matches with Vinyl. Brown unicorn—you tried to tell me to leave her alone after he stormed out—didn’t think to look at his cutie mark,” Octavia added as an afterthought. “I was a bit preoccupied trying to make his life hell.”
“Wait, it was Sharp Note? He tried to... you know? So you beat the ever-living crap out of him?”
“Is that his name? Yeah, I kicked the ever-living crap out of him to be precise. I might have slightly underestimated my strength and sent him flying into the wall at breakneck speed,” Octavia said with a slight smirk spreading across her face at the memory. “Bastard ran before I could kick him much more... Good to hear he left some blood behind; I was worried that I didn’t kick him hard enough.”
“Wait, back up a step. Used to? What do you mean by he used to get into shouting matches with Vinyl?” Oliver questioned with a confused expression as he tried to process all of the new information.
“I damn well hope that he’s done bothering her after the beating I gave him! He looked pretty scared as he ran away... That’s probably what caused the damage to the wall, by the way.”
“What the hell has gotten into you, Octavia?” Oliver demanded at the top of his voice as he stared at her in shock. “You’re casually talking about committing violence on another pony like it was a good thing!”
“That’s because it was; he bucking deserved it!” she yelled back without hesitation. “He tried to do unspeakable things to my frien- to Vinyl! You were so convinced that this ‘Sharp Note’ character was harmless that you never actually listened to what he was yelling at her, did you?”
Oliver started to reply but was hushed by a glare from Octavia as she continued while slowly advancing on him.
“He actually threatened her in front of the both of us while you were so preoccupied with inspecting your hooves in the hallway, and then he repeated the same threat again today before trying to force himself on her. I had precisely two options: I could ask him nicely to leave and hope that he left it at that, or I could force him to stop,” she stated bluntly as she turned her head to more clearly exhibit her bruised face. “He had already shown absolutely no compunction with using violence to get what he wanted, as you can see by my face, and he was preoccupied by trying to get his way with her through force. So, I made my decision and applied liberal amounts of force to get him to stop.”
“Are you certain that you did the right thing, Tavi?”
“Are you stupid or just acting it? He was trying to rape her!” Octavia shivered as she was finally forced to say the word. “I didn’t have time to try and consider any alternative course of action. He’s lucky that I didn’t do worse; I had half the mind to make sure that he could never try such an act again."
Octavia stared at him for a moment, but he didn't seem to have any more forthcoming arguments. She let out a breath that she hadn't quite realized that she was holding and shook her head softly. "If you would be so kind as to get my instrument from downstairs, I would really appreciate it. After that, you can kindly go to wherever it is that you slink off to when Vinyl is upset. This definitely qualifies as an instance where your presence isn’t needed.”
“I-I’m sorry, Tavi, you’re right. I was just a little shocked, okay? I’ll go get your stuff,” he replied but then halted halfway through turning around to leave. “Are you sure that you’re alright?”
“Yes, I’m fine, really. Your presence is not needed right now, so please just go,” Octavia insisted before she turned away to sneak back into the bedroom. She quietly pushed the door shut behind her and then turned to check on Vinyl, only to see the unicorn’s gaze locked on a point behind her. Vinyl was still tucked under the covers, but she had rolled to face the doorway. She had one eyebrow raised in a similar manner as when teasing Octavia; however, her face lacked the bright smile that accompanied such jests. Upon closer inspection, Octavia noted that Vinyl’s expression looked slightly distant. The unicorn’s eyes didn’t follow her when she stepped through the doorway; instead, they kept staring off towards the hallway.
“Oh hey, Vinyl. Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” Octavia ventured quietly as she took a step towards the bed.
“I-it’s fine... Did you mean that out there, Tavi?” Vinyl questioned in a worried tone, her eyes finally shifting away and focusing on the earth pony. Octavia hesitated before responding, having a hard time associating the tone of voice with the unicorn that she thought she had been getting to know rather well.
“Mean what? Are you feeling okay?”
“Y-you called me your friend...” Vinyl replied simply after shifting her eyes away from Octavia and keeping them firmly locked on the bed sheets.
“Did you really mean that? After, well, everything that we’ve said to each other?” Vinyl asked to break the silence that had fallen between them.
“Vinyl... I can realistically say that you are my only real friend in Canterlot at the moment,” Octavia replied as she moved closer and sat down on the edge of the mattress. “We’ve had our disagreements, but you are the only pony who has shown that you actually care about me... not just what I can do for you.”
“What about Oliver? I thought that you two had been getting along rather well?” Vinyl asked meekly and risked a glance over towards Octavia. The red eyes that met Octavia’s for the briefest of moments were shimmering with uncharacteristic weakness that made Octavia want to gather the mare up into her hooves and hug her tightly until everything was better. The image of the normally confident and brash mare reduced to such timid and scared behavior was enough to make the anger against Sharp Note, which was already present from her conversation with Oliver, build up to a furious rage.
“That pony is going to burn for what he has done to you, Vinyl...” Octavia grumbled under her breath and ignored the shocked expression that spread across Vinyl’s face.
“As for Oliver, I don’t really know. He has been friendly, sure, but I’m not entirely certain what to think after the conversation that you apparently overheard. He made it sound like he was more upset that I had caused him trouble than anything else. That plus his blasé treatment of the incidents between you and Sharp Note make me really wonder about him,” Octavia replied with a quiet sigh and shook her head to herself.
“I’m sorry that I got you involved in this...” Vinyl mumbled and then reached a hoof out towards the heavily bruised area under Octavia’s left eye. “Does it hurt?”
“Vinyl, don’t you dare apologize for what that foul pony did!” she yelled in a harsher tone than she had intended. Yet, she did not back down and kept going with it as she suddenly stood up and used the position to glare down at the unicorn below her. “You did absolutely nothing wrong, and it was by no means your fault... I cringe to think of what he nearly did to you simply because I was not taking his threats seriously enough.”
“You can’t keep blaming yourself for everything, Tavi...” Vinyl said with a slight frown. “You tried to blame the accident with Resonance on yourself too, remember? You were right, this wouldn’t have happened and, more importantly, you wouldn’t have gotten hurt if I had just done something about it instead of simply hoping the problem went away. I was just too scared; I still am too scared...”
“Vinyl, blaming yourself isn’t going to help at all... Please just get some more rest, okay? Once you’re feeling up to it, we’re going to walk down to the guard station to make sure that they lock away that foul pony for a long time, alright?” Octavia said in a soothing tone as she stopped resisting the urge to comfort Vinyl and sat back down on the edge of the mattress. Her hoof found the outstretched white forehoof and grasped it gently to offer her support.
Octavia was utterly shocked when she turned her attention back towards Vinyl’s face and saw the unicorn’s eyes wide open in an expression of pure terror. Octavia immediately released the hoof and whirled off the mattress with a growl, setting herself into an aggressive posture that faced the doorway while looking for any sign of the brown stallion anywhere nearby. When her eyes failed to find him anywhere in the small room, she let herself turn back around with a confused expression.
“Please do not scare me like that, Vinyl. I was certain he had returned because of your reaction. What is the matter?” Octavia questioned and then sat back down on the edge of the bed.
“N-no... not there...” was all that Vinyl managed to squeak out as her lips trembled and she shook her head violently. The unicorn’s bright blue mane was quickly thrown into a state of disarray from the distressed flailing, and the expression of terror refused to abate. Octavia watched in horror as tiny tears flew out from the edges of Vinyl’s eyes, and then the unicorn curled up tightly.
“Vinyl! Not where?” Octavia asked desperately as she reached out and attempted to cease Vinyl’s fevered shivering long enough to grasp at the white forehooves soothingly, but she was unable to get Vinyl to relax at all.
“N-not the guards... I-I can’t...” Vinyl pleaded in a desperate tone. She finally ceased her shaking and turned her face towards Octavia with a distraught expression as tears streaked freely down the sides of her face.
“Vinyl...” Octavia started in a soothing tone but was interrupted by her own heavy sigh. “What are we going to do if you don’t want to go to the guards?”
“I-I don’t know; I just... can’t.”
“We cannot possibly leave this alone, Vinyl. If we let this slide he will come back,” Octavia insisted as she reached out with a hoof to push some of Vinyl’s disheveled mane out of her eyes.
“I know...” Vinyl whispered in a barely audible tone as she curled up even tighter. “I just can’t go back there... Please don’t make me.”
“Get some sleep, Vinyl,” Octavia barely managed to croak in response as she fought back her own tears at the sight. She finished gently straightening out Vinyl’s mane and ran her hoof gently across Vinyl’s forehead. “We’ll talk about it once you’ve rested up a bit, okay?”
Vinyl nodded weakly in response and began to let her body relax, but she suddenly tensed up again and shot a hoof out towards Octavia when the gray mare began to leave. Vinyl barely managed to catch the end of Octavia's black tail and grasped at it fervently before Octavia could finish climbing off the mattress. “Don’t leave me... Please don’t leave me alone.”
“I won’t, I promise, just let me get a magazine or something, okay?” Octavia answered as she climbed back onto the bed and waited for the hoof to release her tail before she ventured off for some reading material in the apartment. When Octavia returned, she went to lie down on the carpet against the dresser but was interrupted by an audible squeak of protest from Vinyl.
“C-could you, umm...” Vinyl started to ask in a frightened voice and glanced down at the bed next to her, but she was interrupted by Octavia standing up with a sigh before she could continue. Octavia climbed up onto the bed next to her and gently placed the magazine she had found onto one of the pillows.
“Shove over,” Octavia commanded through a slightly exasperated smile and settled into place next to Vinyl. After some hesitation, she stood up and pulled the covers away before lying herself down again and letting them fall back over her. “Is that better?”
Vinyl gave the slightest hint of a smile before nodding in response. Eventually the smile deepened and the unicorn sprawled out on her side facing away from Octavia while letting her back rest gently against Octavia’s side.
“Thank you... for everything. I don’t think I’ve ever said that to you, but I should have...” Vinyl muttered as she lifted her head up and then let it rest back against Octavia’s shoulder.
“Don’t worry about it, Vinyl... That is what friends are for... right?” Octavia responded as she shook her head lightly. She didn’t insist on making Vinyl give her space again despite the awkwardness of laying there with the unicorn pressed against her while she tried to read. Instead, she just let Vinyl take solace in her presence, figuring that Vinyl’s need was greater than her own awkward discomfort. “Sleep well, Vinyl.”
“Thanks, Tavi...” Vinyl responded under her breath and eventually slipped into a light slumber. Octavia turned her head over to glance at the sleeping unicorn with a slight smile. She remembered the only previous time she had witnessed Vinyl sleeping, and having the unicorn this close to her and pressed up against her side seemed to only make the sight even cuter.
It had to be some unwritten law of the universe that stated any ponies you knew were required to walk into the room at the most compromising moment possible. So, it stood to reason that she should have expected Oliver to return with her instrument as soon as the two of them were tucked under the sheets and she was smiling over at Vinyl’s sleeping form. She fought the desire to slam her forehoof into her face because of both the risk of further injuring it and of waking Vinyl. Instead, she settled with shooting him a glare that challenged him to say a word at the risk of bodily harm.
“You know, if you wanted some alone time you could have just asked,” he whispered with a grin as he set her double bass down just next to one of the dressers. He chuckled and turned tail to run away just in time to narrowly escape the thrown magazine.
“Wha-?” Vinyl mumbled quietly at the sudden movement but seemed to quickly fall back to sleep after no response from Octavia.
Octavia sighed and glanced forlornly at the magazine. It hadn’t been terribly interesting, but at least it hadn’t included any nasty articles about her. Most importantly, it had been distracting her from the awkwardness of her current situation. She couldn’t very well get up and fetch it, as that would most definitely wake Vinyl, and she certainly couldn’t ask Oliver to fetch it after throwing it at him. The sounds of his hoofsteps clacking against the wood near the front door of the apartment and of the door shutting shortly afterwards cemented the fact that Oliver was not an option.
She sighed quietly and gave up; she let her head rest on her forehooves and decided she might as well take a nap. It was better than just lying there and trying to ignore the sleeping pony nuzzled up against her side.
Unfortunately for Octavia, she hadn’t considered the possibility of waking up with Vinyl wrapped tightly in her hooves to be a serious one. So as she stirred from her slumber and became aware that she was exactly in such a position, she barely managed to prevent herself from recoiling in surprise. The only thing that could have possibly made this whole situation any more awkward would have been if Vinyl woke up while she still had her hooves tightly wrapped around the unicorn’s chest, a position normally reserved for lovers. Octavia, for the life of her, couldn’t figure out a way to extricate herself from the situation without waking up the sleeping mare.
“Hey, Tavi, I didn’t know you cared,” came a playful voice from below her chin, followed by a quiet giggle.
Octavia groaned inwardly. Of course Vinyl was already awake, why wouldn’t she be? She let out a sigh and gave Vinyl a playful shove out of the tender embrace.
“I am glad to hear that you are feeling better, Vinyl,” she responded icily while she shook her head.
“Oh come on, you think I can wake up with you cuddling me like that and not say something?” Vinyl asked as she rolled over to face Octavia with a devious grin. She then fluttered her half-lidded eyes several times before bursting into a fit of the giggles.
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. It was not my intention for us to wind up in such a compromising position when I decided to take a nap.” Octavia responded as her face flushed with heat. “I don’t suppose an apology and the request for you to drop it would work?”
“I gathered that much by your reaction, Octobutt, and you really should know me better than that by now. It’s fine really, if you felt this way about me all along you really should have just said so,” Vinyl responded as she tried to stifle her giggles and twist her face back into the alluring expression. “It would have explained so much about our little... spats.”
“While I’m glad to hear you acting like yourself again, Scratch, I really would prefer if you dropped it,” Octavia replied with an annoyed tone that caused Vinyl to immediately cease her laughing. “I put up with your insistence on lying so close to me as you slept, despite the discomfort it was causing me. I figured at the time that, with how hurt and vulnerable you sounded, you needed the comfort more than I did. Please do not make a mockery of my good intentions...”
Vinyl reached out and grasped Octavia’s tail with her hoof to stop the other mare from retreating off the bed. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I was just trying to lighten the mood a bit. I appreciate you staying with me; I don’t think I could have slept comfortably alone after... what had happened. I could tell by how tense you were that you weren’t really comfortable with it, and I appreciate that you stayed with me anyway... Since it was you that drove him away... it made me feel safe to have you right there next to me.”
“I was just trying to distract myself from the fact that I’m going to have to tell you a rather painful story,” Vinyl added weakly as her hoof relaxed its grip on the black tail. She used the hoof to wave away the beginnings of a question forming on Octavia’s lips and shook her head lightly. “I woke up quite a while ago, but you were out like a light, so I let you keep sleeping, despite how late it was. It gave me some time to think... If I’m going to try and insist that we don’t go to the g-guards, then I guess I should at least have the decency to explain why...”
Vinyl once again raised her hoof to shush the gray mare before she continued. “It’s not a story I like to tell; I don’t even think Oliver knows the whole thing. The bits he knows are mostly pieced together from things that I’ve accidentally let drop over the years. So, please recognize that this is difficult for me, okay?”
“Of course...”
Vinyl flashed Octavia a forced smile and pulled the gray mare into a gentle hug before she wriggled off the bed, leaving a slightly confused Octavia to stare after her. “Before we get into that, let’s grab some food, alright?”
“That sounds like an excellent idea, Vinyl.”
“I’ll just go and make us some ‘breakfast' now, okay?” Vinyl asked as she walked around the bed and stopped in the doorway. “I’ll be just in the other room. We can have a good cuddle afterwards if you really miss me that much.”
Octavia fought back a giggle despite herself, and Vinyl stopped in the doorway to wink back towards her. "I heard you laugh..." Vinyl called teasingly before disappearing with a mischievous laugh.
Octavia looked curiously around the room. After hearing Vinyl refer to how late it was, she realized that she had no idea of the actual time. The heavy curtains on the windows were drawn rather tight, but they didn’t seem to be leaking any light into the room. Her roving eyes eventually fell upon the red display of an electronic clock. Despite having slept for what must have been only a few hours, she felt much more rested than she would have expected. She let out a quiet groan when she realized that getting to sleep tonight was going to be problematic.
“Hey, Octypus! You coming or what?” came a bright voice from the opposite end of the apartment a few minutes later.
“I’m coming, Vinyl dearest!” she called back loudly, her voice dripping with sarcasm as she crawled off the bed and made her way towards the kitchen. Vinyl certainly was a hoof-full, but she was glad that the unicorn was feeling at least a little better.
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So this took longer than I had hoped, but we got there in the end. The next chapter has been started already and we're making progress.
I'm aware that some readers might think that the characters feel out of character in this chapter. I strongly disagree, any interactions that seem "off" are intended to be like that. Because, well, it's not exactly sunshine and rainbows right now.
I don't really think either of them are acting OOC, they're friends. Simple as that. Awesome chapter.
That's strange, this chapter didn't pop up in my favorites. I saw in my feed that it had updated, otherwise I would have missed it.
2513322
Yeah it didn't pop up in my favorites, either. Weird.
2513322>>2513329
What the hell?
2513336 Same here. If it weren't for the email saying that it updated, I'd have no idea that it did.
Nope, no OOC here. Excellent chapter and I feel like the story as whole is moving along quite nicely. You've got a good pace going on here and I could see this going for, maybe, 8 to 12 more chapters easily. Plus, this is still one of the most unique takes on TaviScratch that I've seen/read and will always be one of the best and one of my favorites.
2513387
Well, time to bother Xaq, we found a bug apparently.
2513399
Thanks, and the characterization was clearly thought out for this chapter, I'm just being slightly defensive because of comments in the past.
2513199
The nice thing about writing background ponies like Vinyl and Octavia is that they have no "character" to be out of. Fans somehow decided Vinyl is a dubstep pony, but she can just as easily be a producer who can't play any instrument or a jazz musician.
Great work as always though, I'll look forward to 14 whenever it arrives!
2513336
I third that remark. Fortunately, my feed told me so anyway.
I love this scene, purely BECAUSE you shifted the tone so much. The ending of the last chapter deserved, nay, required it to do so, and now we can see out two leads without all the armor and posturing. It's refreshing, and it almost feels a bit too intimate, like we're not supposed to be able to see this side of Vinyl. But, as with the unicorn herself, Tavi's presence reassures us that it's okay to be there and that it will all turn out okay in the end.
Well done, and as per the norm, I can't wait for more.
2513426
Sadly it doesn't stop people from yelling OOC. I wasn't referring to that, though, I meant more in reference to how they're portrayed in this story. Things are supposed to feel very different in this chapter, and that means sometimes you get comments complaining about OOC ;/
2513434
This is so weird! I had a 502 while trying to publish so I'm assuming we hit a glitch in the matrix of some sort. Sent a bug report to FIMFic, and we'll see what happens.
Hee stop it Matt, you're gonna make me blush.
2513322 ditto
2513322>>2513329>>2513387>>2513482
Didn't pop up for me either. I only saw it cuz it was in the Featured Box.
Great chapter though. Nothing really to say but different synonyms for great and antonyms for shitty. Can't wait for the next.
2513515
Yush, same here.
2513336 Same here. I've noticed from time to time that some stories don't appear for some reason.
But it does appear if the "view all favorites" is selected.
story checklist.
1. epic. Check.
2. epic. Check.
3.epic. Check.
4.epic. Check.
5.... to I really need to keep going?
I d'awwww several times while reading this chapter. It was so neat to see them becoming friends. Maybe even closer.
What normally would have been a shitty day typing up business reports and other papers has been made wonderful with this new chapter. Many thanks.
Vinyl letting her armor down is both a refreshing and agonizing process, as while I am glad to see it come down, I am now insanely frustrated that I have to wait until next chapter to find out the whole story. Kudos for making a character that's portrayed well enough that I'm looking forward to their backstory.
Oliver's sort of half-hearted response, while annoying, brought a new dimension to his character; made him feel a bit more fleshed-out, as he obviously has his imperfections.
Looking forward to the next installment.
How very touching.
OCC? Quite the contrary, the characterization is spot on.
Remember, we are talking about fanon characters here, so you can be a little liberal with the interpretations, ya hear?
Keep up the good work chap.
Good on ya!
2513814
I can't really try to convince you otherwise, without dropping story spoilers etc. Just going to say that if that's the kind of reaction I was aiming for with that part of the story. I would encourage you to keep reading.
2513770
Good to hear you're enjoying it so much. There's a lot of small characterization stuff going on in this chapter and it's good to see readers picking up on it.
2513831
Yeah I know, just being defensive because of bad experiences >.<
wow
every time we get a new chapter of this, it shocks me just how much better you've gotten since starting
like damn
as for the notifications thing, I go by my Emails first anyway, so I didn't notice an issue...
also, no OOC here, the whole thing is flowing very naturally from where I'm sitting
2514073 Then perhaps she should pay penance, such as say losing her horn, no?
Pfft, you just brought back my cynical side again. What's next? Eradicate and exterminate the worthless sub inferior vermin of the planet?
2513814 Just. Enjoy. The. Damn. Story.
Or are you in fact wanting to force your own canon inside?
Bloody you if true, if not, then be a lad and explain.
I am being an arrogant prick about this, but whenever something like this comes up over fanon, it just rubs me the wrong way.
2514073
I am unable to respond to this comment properly, because spoilers. I will just say that I do not wholly disagree with your comments and hope you continue to read, because your reactions may prove amusing to me as the story progresses. I like it when comments show readers reacting in the ways that I was aiming for. :3
2514193
I appreciate that you enjoy the story enough to leave these comments, but I would prefer a less confrontational comment style in my story if you don't mind. Thank you for the support, I just try to be very reasonable about it and if they don't like the story that's up to them.
2514250 Sorry. I get defensive when anything I hold dear is threatened.
I do not idle by while something I value is annihilated before my very ideas.
I tend to be rather vocal about it, as you can clearly see.
But my apologies for any misdemeanors of mine causing any trouble.
So uh, ciao?
2514309
Is cool, I just don't like people getting upset at each other over my story. Even though it is immensely flattering.
Good sir, have we finally entered the shipping phase? Have we, after thirteen chapters finally entered the romance we were promised? Because I for one would be more than ok with this.
Also, more amazing work. Your chapters are always worth the wait.
Live, Learn, Let go
~Cosmic
2514315
It's fine, you bring up a valid point, but it's not the direction I chose to take it in. Having Octavia straight up leave while an option, didn't seem like what I felt like she'd do. As to who needs to respect who, well that's a fun discussion because respect is in the end a two way street.
2514364
... maybe. That's the best you're getting.
Thanks for the praise, I suck at responding to it, but I'm trying to at least acknowledge it.
Great chapter, and I don't think they were OOC, in fact this character don't have a fixed personality, you can made them like you want, contrary to the Mane 6 fics.
As you've noted, the "OOCness" is part of the strained atmosphere created by The Incident. However I do feel there could be a little more cueing of the mental and emotional strain that's between them. Laughter starting and stopping too abruptly, smiles that come quick and go quicker, a sort of hollowness behind the words. Even saying that you're doing a pretty good job at actually conveying there are...complexities...here.
In general I don't find rape as drama to be the best policy, either in the story proper or as backstory. It's certainly emotionally charged (and reprehensible) enough, but it's somewhat low-hanging fruit because of that. That said it doesn't seem tremendously out of place here, except that, well, the guards haven't been called. Against Vinyl's wishes or not, if their justice system operates anything like ours Octavia's going to have to report it. It'd be a crime not to.
Overall, so far, I have to say I do prefer stories that take a more deliberate pace with shipping, so long as they have the material to support it. You're managing to hold that up! Don't screw up!
One copyediting niggle: I feel that allcaps shouldn't be resorted to for emphasis. There's already italics and bold; allcaps is reserved for Discworld's Death and acronyms. Not sure how good those look with this weird oversized default font thing stories have now though.
Oh gosh, I can completely see Octy saying something sarcastic like this.
Also, it's nice to see a new (or just more developed) side of Oliver, but it just makes me dislike his character a little more.
Overall, yet another job well done!
2514662
Thanks for leaving the well thought out and reasoned comments. There are parts that I don't agree with but I can't really expound upon because... reasons. It's good to hear well thought out counterpoints to some of the parts of the story and it gives me things to think about, so thank you.
2513425 on that note your story got off my features and had to re add it. I had though it stopped updating. on that note this is the third time a story i faved was off my list.
2515002
What, really? Some other people reported getting notifications, but didn't show as updated in the favorites list. That's a new problem.
2513322
Ditto
2515320
Well, I'm glad the other forms of notification were apparently working.
2513336
I don't think it popped up in anyone's favourite list
Regardless, I like this chapter. I don't know anyone that has been a victim of rape, so I don't know exactly how people would react, but I think Vinyl's reaction is realistic.
2513426
I'm starting to think you're stalking me... I see you comment in a lot of the stories I read recently
I saw this was updated in my news feed and I literally squee'd.
Amazing chapter as always! Keen as beans for the next one!
2514745
I feel like just leaving "Nice!" as a comment is unfair to the author.
Most stories I read either don't have any character development or it's incredibly shallow. You've actually got a real evolving relationship here, which is nice to see. I also liked that you haven't taken the easy way out of Vinyl's and Octavia's contentious relationship at the points you could have.
Looking over my comments from last night they do come off as...kind of overcritical. *cough* Not entirely intended; I am enjoying it! You seem to have a clear idea of how you're going to run the relationship development, which is more than I've ever had. Write on!
2513426
I C WUT U DID THAR
makes
Besides that, didn't see any errors in the chapter.
Why did this not appear in my fave updates? I only found this by looking at my news feed and finding that you have updated this.
Anyway, I see Vinyl's really opening up to Octavia. Looking forward to seeing just what the story is behind Vinyl and Sharp.
2517113
People downvote when they don't agree.
"I like pie!"
"WELL I DON'T!" *downvote*
2517126
Ah! That's as silly as arguing over which ice creme is better.
That being said. This is an adorable story. I'll admit that I thought that Tavi was taking her indignant rage out on Vinyl way to much at first, but these last few chapters have been really nice. I like how it's turning out so far.
2513336 it didn't appear to me until now, but it was a very pleasant surprise to see it there now :3
2517743
Wait it showed in your favorites now? o.o