To the? Now I know how Raindow Dash felt when she was taken out of the hospital before she was able to get to the good part.
Not sure if this is going to be some awesome mature fix that just has one or two scenes with Daring Do just having a romp with a sexy rival or she gets raped by that Aztec monster whose name I can never recall.
I loved the intro, could use more fics like this honestly. The whole not looking back because she felt some blood on her back leg creep her out, having other ponies on her making her uncomfortable, seems like a really nice ocd quirk.
If you could deliver a true mature adventure story I'd follow you just for that. Sex and Gore are very misleading as they give a bad mental image of what the fic may or may not be about. I'll give the benefit of a doubt and go with more Indiana Jones level of story telling then just a quick clop fic of Alquizoto whatever his name is raping Daring Do being not only on her but in her with in ways she never knew one could pull off.
Too little to really comment, but I like what I've seen so far. I've not read a proper grimdark adventure since EQD made passing stories like Fillystata and For Want of a Dawn and Blood is Thicker with their new selectively moral pre-reader staff they brought in that year.
Keep doing what you're doing. Let me know when you get more done. I'd like to see what kind of proud story you'd make of this.
As promised, my opinion: A very good and suspenseful start that grabs the reader's interest. However, one suggestion would be to add a bit more background knowledge/exposition regarding the colt. What is this order? What is his rank/caste? Where is this taking place? I understand if you are purposefully leaving these questions unanswered to create suspense, but I feel like I am missing something when reading this chapter.
A very good start. It is slightly disheartening that more people aren't reading this story but then again the unwashed masses would likely prefer something like Byte size to this.
None the less great job. I will continue reading when time permits.
To the? Now I know how Raindow Dash felt when she was taken out of the hospital before she was able to get to the good part.
Not sure if this is going to be some awesome mature fix that just has one or two scenes with Daring Do just having a romp with a sexy rival or she gets raped by that Aztec monster whose name I can never recall.
I loved the intro, could use more fics like this honestly. The whole not looking back because she felt some blood on her back leg creep her out, having other ponies on her making her uncomfortable, seems like a really nice ocd quirk.
If you could deliver a true mature adventure story I'd follow you just for that. Sex and Gore are very misleading as they give a bad mental image of what the fic may or may not be about. I'll give the benefit of a doubt and go with more Indiana Jones level of story telling then just a quick clop fic of Alquizoto whatever his name is raping Daring Do being not only on her but in her with in ways she never knew one could pull off.
Too little to really comment, but I like what I've seen so far. I've not read a proper grimdark adventure since EQD made passing stories like Fillystata and For Want of a Dawn and Blood is Thicker with their new selectively moral pre-reader staff they brought in that year.
Keep doing what you're doing. Let me know when you get more done. I'd like to see what kind of proud story you'd make of this.
I like where this is going, you've got me interested.
On a side note, I noticed quite a few missing commas. I would imagine that you'll fix that soon, it's just that it mucked up the flow for me.
Great job!
A good start! With a few mistakes. But everyone makes some mistakes!
As promised, my opinion:
A very good and suspenseful start that grabs the reader's interest. However, one suggestion would be to add a bit more background knowledge/exposition regarding the colt. What is this order? What is his rank/caste? Where is this taking place?
I understand if you are purposefully leaving these questions unanswered to create suspense, but I feel like I am missing something when reading this chapter.
Okay.. this was fuckin' amazing. I definitely cannot wait fer more!
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Well....not gonna...well maybe...TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!
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Yeahh, you did.
..but still. Byte Sized is still a awesome story so far, too.
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Also I'm gonna start quoting people that have read this from Byte...
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Ha ha.. okay, then.
Man is Daring cheeky in this shing
So funny how she's just toying around with poor Skane throughout the chapter.
A very good start. It is slightly disheartening that more people aren't reading this story but then again the unwashed masses would likely prefer something like Byte size to this.
None the less great job. I will continue reading when time permits.
Someone call for an editor? Or is that old? 'Cuz I'll take the job for a minimum wage of you actually bloody update sometimes.