Guilt and Hate

by Mindblower

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen

*******

Twilight glanced around. She was in a library--a library so tall that the tops of the endless bookshelves seemed to stretch high into the sky. She couldn’t see the bottoms, either, for the same reason. She was suspended in midair, gaping at the vast array of knowledge and expertise in front of her. There was so much that Twilight hardly believed she would be able to read it all, even if she was given all the time in the world.

Using her mind to control her movement, she drifted across the expanse. She rose upward for half an hour, trying to spot the top of the tower, yet never seeming to be able to, and she even tried free-falling for what must have been two minutes before giving up hope of ever finding an end to the knowledge. Examining the spines of the books, she notice that they were all volumes of the same series--Indicina’s Journal.

Indicina... I’ve heard that before, Twilight thought, though her mental capabilities were impaired by an unknown force. It was like a thick wool blanket wrapped around her brain. Hate mentioned her, I think. But who is she?

Twilight picked up a book and flipped to the first page. She tried to read it, but the words seemed to be shifting around. She held the book up, trying to get a different perspective or maybe some better lighting, but the characters and ink simply dropped off the page, tumbling onto Twilight’s face and down into the infinite abyss. Twilight spit out a B and shook the book out. It dissolved to dust.

“Huh,” she remarked. She folded her forehooves. “Something tells me this isn’t my dream.”

As if on cue, the wall of bookcases bent backward completely, peeling away as if they were a strip of paper. Behind them was a single mare.

She was sitting at a midair desk, surrounded by parchment and quills. An earth pony, she lacked a horn to use magic, but this didn’t seem to impair her use of telekinesis to levitate multiple quills back and forth, pencilling in another volume of her collection of tombs. She was a pale white, but it was a pure white, like the first snow of winter. Even her mane was colorless--the only spots of black on her were simple outlines along her features and her fetlocks, as if she were cut out of a coloring book. She was sitting in an armchair much too big for her, but she looked perfectly at home. She wore a small smile as she continued to scrawl down notes.

She’s... beautiful, Twilight thought. She wasn’t aroused as much as awed by the simplicity and the purity of the pony. Something inside her, though, warned that this petite earth pony was far more ancient and dangerous than she appeared. Against her deeper instincts, though, Twilight inched closer to the white pony, and tentatively said, “Hi.”

The mare looked up for a moment, then shyly turned away. “H-... Hi,” she mumbled back.

“What’s your name?” Twilight asked more confidently, slowly approaching the mare.

“Indicina,” she said. “Who’re... Who’re you? Are you from outside?”

“I think so,” Twilight said, now at the opposite end of Indicina’s desk. “My name’s Twilight. It’s nice to meet you, Indicina.”

Indicina smiled, and her smile was bright and cheerful, like the dawn of spring. “Nice to meet you, too, Twilight. How did you get all the way in here?”

“I’m not sure. I’m just... here,” Twilight replied, shrugging. She pointed at the documents. “Did you write everything in the library?”

Indicina nodded. “Yes. I filled this entire space, from top to bottom, with knowledge of the outside.”

Twilight turned to gaze at the massive expanse, completely astounded. “Wow... That’s really impressive, Indicina.”

Indicina blushed. “I-It wasn’t all that difficult. I had help. It took a long time, too, but I have a lot of time. I don’t get many visitors.”

“Do you do this for fun? There’s a lot more to the world than books, you know. I learned that the hard way,” Twilight chuckled.

“I-I do this to help her. To help her keep everything in check,” Indicina said. “It’s very important. A lot of things would go wrong if I didn’t do this.”

“You stay here all alone, every day?” Twilight asked.

Indicina nodded slightly. “It’s too dangerous for me to... to go and help her.”

“To help who?” Twilight asked.

Indicina’s entire demeanor changed the moment Twilight asked that question, and she sniffled a bit, upset. “Leave me alone,” she mumbled. “You shouldn’t stay here. She’ll find you.”

“Who’s ‘she?’” Twilight persisted. “I want to help you. If you’re here against your will, then... Well, you just shouldn’t be!”

“Please, leave,” Indicina insisted, wiping her eyes. “She does awful things, awful, awful things to intruders. You’re not safe here. Once she finds you, you’re not safe anywhere.”

“I’ll leave, but once you tell me who’s keeping you here, Indicina,” Twilight said, levitating over to Indicina’s side. “I’m not going to leave you here all alone, no matter how dangerous it is.”

“You don’t know how dangerous it is,” Indicina said, trembling. Tears were leaking out of the corners of her eyes. “It’s too dangerous. It’s too dangerous, Twilight. Please, leave. Leave while you still have time. She’ll find you, Twilight. She finds everypony. She found me and put me here; she’ll find you and put you someplace worse.”

“Indicina, I’m not leaving you here,” Twilight said frustratedly. “Let me help you. I know that I can if you’ll just let me. We can make it out of here together.”

“But she’ll get you, and she’ll get me, and... and she’ll do awful things. Awful things, Twilight, to me, to both of us,” Indicina cried. “She’s scary. She’s scary, Twilight, so scary... I don’t want to think. I don’t want to know. I just want to stay here. I want to stay, Twilight, but you don’t want to stay. She’ll find you if you stay here. You want to leave. You have to leave!”

“Okay, I’ll leave,” Twilight sighed. “I’ll leave as soon as you tell me who she is. So that I can find her, and so that I can free you as soon as I can.”

Indicina hung her head, her expression showing nothing but pure shame. “She... She’s me.”

Before Twilight could ask what Indicina meant, she was blasted backward by a wall of force. The impact alone was enough to knock her out cold.

=====================================================================

*******

Olly sat at the window in the Fillydelphian hospital. He was flipping through a book he had absentmindedly picked up at the library. It was about a mare who was traversing a temple in order to retrieve a treasure--a typical adventure.

Psh, Olly scoffed to himself, gazing out the window. Smoke rose from the once-glorious, prosperous city of hope. Now it was half empty as ponies fled to safer regions of Equestria. The setting sun cast an eternal glow across the cityscape, giving it a wistful, golden glow. Olly adjusted the straps of the goggles on his forehead and the patch over his damaged eye. These... These writers, they don’t know anything about adventure. This? This is an adventure. Where you actually lose things. Things you care about, he thought.

Another brown unicorn, this one draped in a white coat and wearing a pair of spectacles, entered the room. “Is she in your custody?” he asked formally, pointing at a light blue pegasus that was lying unconscious on her back in a hospital bed. Her wings were stretched out to her sides at an unnatural angle and wrapped in newly changed bandages.

“Yes, for now, at least,” Olly said.

“These are for her,” the doctor said, levitating a chart over to Olly. “The prognosis is on the back page. She’ll be waking up soon, but she’ll still be disoriented.” He paused for a minute, unsure what to say.

“Thanks, doc,” Olly muttered absently, flipping through the pages.

The doctor left. He was one of the few in Fillydelphia, and had to tend to a multitude of other patients. He didn’t seem to mind. Of course not. He doesn’t ‘seem’ anything. He just goes about with the most monotonous attitude he can. As if it’ll make us feel better. Or, at least, not feel worse, Olly thought, grimacing. He glanced at the last page, reading it carefully.

After reading it, he shakily set the chart down. I was expecting this... but they could have done something... anything, he thought, gazing at Dash. He slowly turned his head away, then brought his hoof to his eye patch. Losing my eye was bad enough.

He sat in silence for a few minutes, pondering. Pondering his life. Pondering Dash’s, and the rest of his friends’. Pondering the world, and the state it was in. Pondering Harmony and Discord. Pondering lots of things. He didn’t have anything else to do but think. All of his friends were either piecing together their own lives or still in critical condition.

Hate’s poison was powerful. They hadn’t realized how much pain they were all in until they had tried to leave, to get as far away as possible from Hate and his darkness--that was when Dash collapsed. Olly had followed. It was lucky Luna found them, all so close together, and all in relatively good condition to boot. According to her, they’d all been relying on luck a lot lately. Well, duh, Olly thought. We’re still alive. Otherwise... well, I don’t even want to think about it.

Dash shifted, waking up. “Ugh...” she mumbled.

Olly glanced once more at the prognosis, sighed, got up, and ambled over to her. “Welcome back to the world of the living. My name is Oliver, and I shall be your guide. First, do you take the red pill, or the blue pill?”

“Green... thing,” Dash mumbled, half opening her eyes. She coughed weakly.

Olly levitated a cup of water off of the table, turned Dash’s head slightly to the side, then drizzled water between her lips. Most of it slid onto her pillow, but a few droplets of the vital liquid trickled down into her throat. “That better?” Olly asked.

Dash nodded, an almost imperceptible twitch of her head. Olly smoothed back her mane. “Feeling alright?” he asked.

“...Weird... floating...” Dash’s mouth formed words, but most of what came out was an unintelligible mumbling. Her eyes were glazed over; she probably wasn’t able to compute most of what was going on. “Others?” she asked quietly.

“Applejack is still trying to piece together what’s left of her family, remember? Rarity’s setting up shop, Twilight has been off-and-on for a few days, at least, as far as I know. Pinkie’s fighting off a few minor infections and should be good to go in a week, but as for Fluttershy, well, I... I don’t expect much,” Olly admitted. I’ve told her all of this already, but that was when she was still only half conscious, just before the surgery. Guess I’ll have to repeat bad news again.

Dash was beginning to lift out of the haze slightly. “You... Your eye,” she said, her voice still hoarse from disuse.

“Yeah, well, that’s what happens when you pass out over some loose rocks,” Olly said, chuckling slightly, once again raising a hoof to his eyepatch in an absent curiosity.

“Doesn’t hurt?” Dash asked.

Olly adopted a slightly more jovial attitude than he usually would, given the circumstances, and said with a sarcastic haughtiness, “As if! Why don’t I remind you how tough the crowd you’re dealing with really is?”

Dash laughed weakly and said slightly, “You’re... pirate.”

“...That’s right, Dash. I’m a pirate,” Olly said, his humorous attitude gone. “How’re your wings?” His voice caught on the word ‘wings,’ but he managed to hide it.

“They... don’t hurt,” Dash said after a long pause.

Olly patted her lightly on the shoulder. “That’s good.” Unsure how to continue the conversation, he said bluntly, “I’m going to have to go soon. Visiting hours only last so long.”

That was a lie. Luna had extended visiting hours ad infinitum for the Elements and their friends. Olly could have lived in the hospital if he wished. He just couldn’t stand seeing Dash like this. She was completely out of touch, lying on her back, dreaming an endless dream where the surgeons were able to succeed. They weren’t. They just weren’t, Olly thought bitterly. And now we’re going to have to pay the fallout for Celestia’s mistakes! Olly wanted to rear up and buck something as hard as he could. It was so unfair.

“Oh,” Dash said disappointedly. “Can’t... Can’t stay? A little?”

Olly nodded. “Yeah, I guess,” he mumbled. He glanced at the book, ‘The Adventures of Daring-Do.’ It was a best-seller a few years back, he recalled, though he didn’t know how he knew that tidbit of info. “Do you want me to read to you?” he asked, levitating the book over to show Dash.

Dash made a face, at least, as much of a face as she could make when she could barely move due to the influence of the medicine. “Those’re for leg meds,” she muttered.

“Huh?” Olly asked.

“‘Said they’re for Greg Beds,” Dash slurred, a bit louder.

“Pardon?” Olly asked.

“For eggheads!” Dash croaked, exasperated. She mumbled something frustratedly.

“Well, I don’t exactly have a dinner theater organized, do I?” Olly asked jokingly.

“Mmph, fine...” Dash said, turning her head to the side. “Read.”

And Olly did. He read for hours upon end, never stopping. Gradually, Dash did become absorbed in the adventure, to a degree--the magic-laced chemicals they gave her would last until the next day, at least. Olly was worn out by around the one-third point, but he didn’t stop, because around the third chapter or so, Dash had actually smiled, and was smiling slightly most of the time after.

It was a pleasant smile, if an absent one--the smile of a foal, really. But Olly knew it wouldn’t last. After tomorrow, Dash would know the truth. She would never be the same. That’s why Olly valued her smile so much, because he knew that it might be the last time he ever saw it. It would be the last time that Dash would actually be happy--in all likelihood, it was the last time he would see her as herself.

When he had first heard the original prognosis, Olly wondered how Dash would be able to live with it. Then Rarity, who had been particularly bitter and upset, pointed out to him that she probably wouldn’t. That’s how he was able to read for hours, until he finally had to call it quits to avoid falling asleep in his chair. He didn’t want to forget. Not like he had forgotten everything else. He wanted to have a fond memory of the mare he had saved--twice, in fact. Because, aside from his friends, who did he have?

“And that’s about it for tonight,” Olly said sleepily, dog-earing the page and setting the book on Dash’s nightstand. “I’ll fall asleep on my hooves if we go on much longer.”

Dash moaned in protest. “Just a little more?” she asked, though her voice betrayed how drowsy she was, as well.

“Heh, well, there’s always tomorrow, right?” Olly asked, tussling Dash’s mane. “It’s only a day away. We’ll read more, trust me. Maybe we’ll have the entire gang together next time. Me, Twilight, Fluttershy, Pinkie, the whole bunch. So whaddaya say?”

Dash smiled--not the sluggish half-smile that she had been wearing the entire time she was awake, but a genuine smile, the grin that could only be Dash’s. “Sounds good.”

Olly turned to leave, but Dash stopped him.

“Stay?” she asked, holding out her hoof. It was the most movement she had done all day. Buried in the drape of drugs flowing through her system, she knew that something wasn’t right, and that today was special, that today would always be special. And it was special, because it would be the last day that Dash was truly alive.

Olly turned, rubbed his eyes, and nodded. He sat down and leaned against Dash’s bedside, giving her company when none of her other friends could. A true friend, Olly thought. That’s what I am. A true friend.

Dash slowly drifted off, and with her left the rest of Olly’s hopes that he would ever see her smile again. Never. Not ever again, he thought dejectedly. Because tomorrow, she’ll know. She’ll know for real. And there’s nothing I can do to convince her to stay.

Wearily, Olly stood up. He walked over to the clipboard, with the final prognosis written on it. He read it again, two times, three, in hope that it might magically morph into something remotely resembling hope. But it didn’t, and it never would. Hope was a lost dream to Olly. To most of Equestria, at this point.

He levitated the clipboard into the air, turning to face the window. It was still sunset, with the bottom half of the sun dipped beneath the horizon, eternally hanging in space with nopony to guide it. Then he turned to the wall, where one of the doctors had hung a dartboard in order for Olly to test his depth perception. He gathered his fury and threw the board at the bull’s-eye full-force.

The corner of the metal plate sunk deeply into edge of the dartboard, but the prognosis was still visible. It wouldn’t change. Dash would.

And with that, Olly put on his jacket and stormed out of the hospital.

=====================================================================

*******

Twilight jolted awake. She was in a hospital bed and hooked up to a great many instruments, and the whole of her body ached. Her mind was foggy, probably from magical painkillers. But there was no doctor present. In front of her stood Big Macintosh.

However, his entire form was warped out of its usual proportions. He was much thinner, but leaner, as well, standing taller and straighter than before. His cheekbones were more prominent, and his hooves were metal-plated. His cutie mark seemed to have a strange, orange tint to it. But there was no mistaking those slitting orange eyes. It was Guilt.

Twilight wanted to scream, but Guilt rose a hoof to his lips, as if to say, Shh. His gaze, although cold, wasn’t threatening.

Twilight coughed and tried to levitate the glass of water on the nightstand to her lips, but her magic only managed to put a faintly purple glow around the object. Guilt extended his hoof, and the glass glowed orange before slowly lifting to Twilight’s mouth. My... My horn, she thought, swallowing. It’s gone. I can’t use magic anymore. The notion was chilling. Somepony may as well have blinded her or deafened her, or took out two of her legs. Magic was everything. She was Magic.

After she had finished, Twilight rasped with an underused voice, “Why are you here?”

Guilt brushed the glasses off of his face, and they clattered to the floor. He looked Twilight directly in the eye.

Twilight abruptly felt a rush of emotions inside of her. The pain of death, the horror of destruction, the thirst for blood, the bonds between family, the longing for eternal peace, and the hatred of everything and everypony flooded her system. She gasped, shutting her eyes tight. She felt that somepony was rearranging her entire mentality. It was a suffocating warmth that almost drove her damaged mind back into unconsciousness. Then, there was a final ‘pop,’ and Twilight fell backward onto her thin mattress.

That’s better, she heard somepony say. I’ve had quite the time coming here, Magic. You should thank me for my effort.

You’re in my head? Twilight asked back, propping herself up.

Of course I’m in your head, Guilt answered, snorting, and you’re in mine. I have temporarily bonded our conscious minds to each other. Must I spell it out for you?

What are you doing here? Twilight snapped, glaring at Guilt.

Before I answer, I must ask, do you know where you are? Guilt retorted.

I-In Fillydelphia, Twilight said, looking around. In a hospital.

Very good. At least you aren’t severely impaired like some of the other invalids I’m going to have to deal with, Guilt said. He glanced over his shoulder for a moment, then said, I am here because I want my brother back.

Isn’t he with you? Twilight asked.

Tell me; what’s the last thing you remember? Guilt asked.

...Fluttershy defeating Hate, Twilight said after a pause.

Hmph. Then my assumptions are true, Guilt said. He rubbed his eyes. Oh, what a mess this is...

What mess? Twilight asked.

Guilt laughed, though it was only a thought--his lips didn’t move in reality. Still, despite only being a thought, his laugh had a chilling edge to it that could only have come from a trained assassin. The mess that your ‘friend’ Celestia has laid out for the whole of Discord and Harmony both. The tide has turned, Twilight, and not for either of our benefit.

What do you mean? Twilight asked, confused.

I don’t even know what I mean! Guilt growled. I’m still trying to get the details myself. But if my hypothesis is true, then not only all of Equestria, but my brother, as well, is at stake. I’m here to make sure that he is safely returned to my custody. Whether that means I owe my allegiance to Harmony or Discord, I care not.

And how do you plan to do that? Twilight asked.

By cooperating, Guilt said.

Sirens could be heard from downstairs. The multitude of hoofsteps rushing up the stairs seemed to shake the hospital.

Guilt grinned. There they are now. Remember this, Twilight: Equestria is dying. Luna has been incapable of minimizing the damage Deception has caused. Carefully cross-examine all you are told over the next few days, because most of it will be lies.

How can I trust you? Twilight challenged.

Guilt laughed again, and it was same, biting laugh as before. How can you? I’m your mortal enemy. But I also am the only pony in Equestria willing to look at this issue objectively. Perhaps you should try that, as well.

“Stop where you are!” a guard captain yelled as his squad burst into the room. They quickly restrained Guilt, but he didn’t appear to offer much resistance.

Be careful what you think, Guilt solemnly said before he was escorted out of the room, and for a brief moment, actual pain flashed beneath his smug grin. Then it was gone, as were the guards, and Twilight was left alone with her thoughts.

=====================================================================

*******

What if... What if I can’t trust them? Twilight thought. She had been tended to by doctors and shown her medical status. She was assured that she was fine, but she wasn’t. Physically, maybe, but psychologically? Her horn was gone. There was no way to grow it back, not even with a spell; she would have to live the rest of her life magicless. That was what terrified her more than anything else.

There was also a slight hum in the back of her mind--she couldn’t place it exactly, but it was akin to the distinct feeling of somepony’s eyes boring into the back of her head, and it put her on edge. The feeling improved and worsened at irregular intervals, but she was able to ignore it most of the time, forcing it under the rest of her jumbled thoughts.

Twilight’s conundrums were interrupted by a nurse escorting Rarity into the room. She thanked him, then turned to Twilight. “Hello, Twilight. Are you alright? I heard that awful heathen Guilt paid you a visit earlier.”

“I’m not sure if I’m alright,” Twilight admitted, staring at the sheets carefully tucked around her midsection. “I need to know what’s going on, Rarity. I need to know everything that’s happened. Can you do that?”

“Of course, darling. I’ll do my best, but there are some questions I still have myself,” Rarity answered truthfully. She pulled a brush out of her saddlebags, levitating it to Twilight’s head and beginning to brush her tangled mane. “But first things first, darling; I can’t give a proper explanation to somepony whose mane is so tattered. Too distracting.”

Twilight sat silently and obediently as Rarity brushed her. Rarity never once inferred it was because Twilight couldn’t use magic; she simply tended to Twilight’s hair, but a deep, angry burning in Twilight’s heart told her that she should have been doing it herself. I just don’t know how, not yet. I’ve been a unicorn all my life; I’ve never had to go without magic for a long period of time. Now I have to adjust to being an earth pony? That just isn’t fair.

As Rarity brushed her, Twilight noticed something strange about her general demeanor. She seemed subdued, as if she was trying to distract herself from something. She didn’t look tired physically, but she was much, much quieter than usual, and she seemed to take everything much slower, drawing out each moment to its limits. I guess there’s nothing wrong with it, Twilight thought, it just doesn’t seem much like Rarity.

“And... done,” Rarity said, putting the finishing touches on Twilight’s mane. “Now, what did you want to ask me, Twilight?”

“What happened after I fell unconscious?” Twilight asked.

“Well, I only know all of this secondhoof, but after you fainted, Celestia executed Guilt,” Rarity began.

That explains the new body, Twilight thought.

“After that, Hate somehow went berserk,” Rarity continued. “He simply melted into a puddle and was beginning to suck up the surroundings. Celestia dove into it to buy some time, and Fluttershy followed her, hoping to put an end to Hate once and for all. However, they urged Dash, Applejack, Dash, and Olly, who were all injured at the time, to see themselves and the rest of us safely away. Luna detected the enormous amounts of energy that were released at the time and flew to the scene, but by the time she arrived, the battle was already over. Fluttershy is currently one floor above us, comatose, and I haven’t seen Celestia yet, though Luna assures me she’s alright.”

Twilight nodded. “What about Dash and the others?”

“Dash collapsed a short distance away from the battlefield,” Rarity said, pursing her lips. “She almost bled out. Hate’s poison in the first battle seem to have targeted the nerves in her wings, but they also cut through practically everything else. She couldn’t even feel them near the end, much less use them. She had surgery a few hours ago to try and repair the wings, but the results haven’t been released quite yet.”

Twilight swallowed. Dash’s wings, my horn... How come one of us hasn’t died yet? It’s a morbid question, but one worth asking.

“Applejack is trying to gather her family and repair their lives here, in Fillydelphia. It’s an all-day job, I’m afraid, and she has her own injuries to attend to. She’ll come around to visit probably tomorrow, I believe. Pinkie is unconscious, but stable, and she should come around in a day or two. Olly is fine, save a damaged eye that’s going to be replaced by a glass one for now, and I’m trying to start a new boutique in Fillydelphia,” Rarity continued. “...That’s about it for all of us. We still haven’t heard directly from Scootaloo or Vengeance, but Luna’s been hearing about more rebellions south of Fillydelphia. Vengeance apparently has a way with words.”

“Rebellions?” Twilight asked.

“Ponies are defecting to the side of Discord. The griffons and buffalo have so far sided with Harmony and the Princesses, as has the majority of the west and south Equestria. The dragons and portions of eastern Equestria have raised the flag of our enemy,” Rarity continued angrily. “It’s despicable. They’re allowing Vengeance to manipulate their emotions and turn them into slaves.”

“You said the dragons have chosen to defect. Did Spike?” Twilight asked.

Rarity paused, sighing. “...He did, darling.”

“What...?” Twilight breathed. “B-But that’s impossible! He’d never leave me! He wouldn’t...!” She sat up in her bed, unable to comprehend the news. She wiped her eyes. “I raised him.”

“Most of our friends did defect, Twilight,” Rarity said sorrowfully. “Hate didn’t kill them like we thought he did. He evacuated them outside of the town days before we arrived, using their absence as a tool to provoke us. Vengeance gave them a choice, to either join her or to go to Fillydelphia. She must have used powerful magic in order to persuade them to abandon us,” she said bitterly. “What a way to rub salt on our wounds,” she muttered aloud, staring into the distance resentfully. “We fought because we thought they killed our friends, only to find out they were never friends of ours at all. They’re traitors.”

“Rarity?” Twilight asked, slightly worried. “Are you alright?”

Rarity snapped to attention. “Oh! Sorry, dear. Where was I?”

“I don’t think you should take their defecting so personally,” Twilight said, despite how much she, too, was hurt by the news. “Vengeance probably brainwashed them. She’s powerful enough to attempt something like that on a massive scale; I mean, think of the Daymare and the Dreamscape. Don’t judge them too harshly until we’ve gotten a chance to see them for ourselves.”

Rarity nodded. “You’re probably right, Twilight. But it is an unsettling prospect, all things considered.”

“...I’m not going to argue with you about that,” Twilight said after a brief pause. She thought for a moment, then asked, “What about Sweetie Belle? Is she alright?”

“Sweetie Belle is fine,” Rarity said quickly.

“Is she really?” Twilight asked, noticing the speed at which Rarity answered, as if she had rehearsed it. “Rarity, tell me the truth.”

“Would it be okay if I’m... not the one to tell you?” Rarity asked quietly. “It hurts to talk about it.”

“Okay. But she’s alive, right?” Twilight asked.

“...I’m not sure,” Rarity said after a pause. She levitated her brush back into her saddlebags and said, “Do take care, darling. Luna should be visiting in a few minutes. Be kind to her, Twilight. She has endured the brunt of the Revolution.” She trotted out of the room.

Hmph. She’s quite emotional, isn’t she?

Twilight flinched, startled by the monotonous, yet familiar voice that invaded her mind. How are you still here?! she hissed in reply.

Our minds are one, Magic; I can hear and see everything you do when I so choose, Guilt said, his tone of voice suggesting slight amusement.

Great, Twilight said. So you can just pop in and out at any time?

And read your subconscious thoughts, Guilt said. Such as, right about now, you’re thinking about anything and everything you don’t want me to know.

Twilight swore. He was right. You’re probably grinning, too, aren’t you?

Guilt laughed, but this time, the laughter was genuine, something Twilight hadn’t heard from him before. However, his laugh still had an icy undertone to it, just like any other time he ‘spoke.’ Oh, I was only kidding. For now, it’s only two-way telepathy. My innermost secrets would most likely drive you insane.

There’s no doubt about that, Twilight said sorely. You had me going there for a moment. It’s like asking somepony not to think about elephants.

Hmm, yes, Guilt said.

So where are you now? Twilight asked.

In prison. Where did you expect? Guilt asked.

Anywhere but, actually, Twilight replied. You really let them capture you? Why?

To earn trust among the higher officials. Although Luna has the final say, she also has a cabinet of officers to complete the busywork of running a nation, and each of them has an annoying amount of influence in her decisions. Safe to say, they are rather ignorant of the situation, and I doubt they will let me anywhere near you and your friends without thinking I’m in their complete and utter control, Guilt explained. Hence why I need you to put in a good word for me.

Twilight snorted. Really? You try to kill me and my friends, and now you’re asking for a favor?

Allow me to continue, Guilt said. First, Spike didn’t defect immediately--it took a large amount of pressuring from Vengeance, more so than she’d usually spend. However, no magic was involved; only words and Vengeance’s natural talents. Secondly, although Rarity doesn’t know this, Dash’s results were disclosed a half an hour or so ago. Her wings, I’m afraid, are irreparable.

What? Twilight asked.

They’re irreparable, Guilt repeated, at least, by standard magics. Given the opportunity, an advanced magician could repair them. An advanced magician... such as myself.

Wait, hold on a moment. They weren’t able to fix her wings? Twilight asked. It’s simple transmutation and necromancy. Anypony could do it.

Not many ponies are Elements, my dear Twilight, Guilt chuckled. You are not on the same playing field as the common pony, you know. You are superior.

I am equal to every other pony in Equestria, and they are equal to me, Twilight said firmly.

There was a long pause, and Twilight wasn’t sure if something had happened to Guilt, or if he lost their connection. After a few minutes, though, there was an awful, grinding noise, as if somepony was rubbing two pieces of rusty metal together. A thin line appeared on the wall in front of Twilight, and a window was revealed as if somepony were brushing aside curtains of space and time.

Through the portal was Guilt. He was in a clean stone prison cell, wearing a yellow jumpsuit rather than the maroon vest he had been wearing earlier. He glared at her viciously, utterly disgusted by her last statement.

Equality is a myth, he said harshly. It’s a dream, an ideal thought up by ponies to disguise how unequal we are all in reality. Don’t be naïve.

You should take your own advice. You look like you have a nasty habit of ignoring all the good ponies do for each other, Twilight argued. Everypony is equal, because our positive and negative traits balance out. I could be better at art than somepony, but they could be much better at sports than I am, or wrapping up winter. In the end, our individual traits don’t matter.

Guilt rolled his eyes in contempt. Indeed. You seem like you have a nasty habit of immediately assuming I’m wrong! he snapped, standing up. Twilight noticed he had a blinking ankle bracelet on, probably a tracking device. I am twenty-five thousand years old, Magic. I have been at the very top of society, and the very bottom. I have seen everything there is to see in this miserable nation, and the very notion of universal equality is complete and utter balderdash. You are a newborn foal compared to me. I have lived for millennia, Magic, and I have seen and experienced much more than you could ever hope to. How can you possibly state that we are equal?

Once I’ve realized my Potential, I could easily beat you in a fight, Twilight stated. ...In the end, that’s all that really matters, right?

...You are smarter than you look, Guilt said, carefully examining Twilight. He paused for a long time before finally saying, Don’t forget my offer. Repairing Dash’s wings would be foal’s play if I were given enough time, and her consent in the matter.

How can I trust you, though? With the life of my friend? Twilight asked. Why couldn’t Pinkie Pie or Luna fix Dash’s wings?

Luna is not a powerful enough magician to attempt the procedure even with her fragment of Magic, and Pinkamena lacks the years and years of experience with surgery necessary to succeed, Guilt began. You should probably also ask yourself how many times I could have killed all of you while I was patiently observing the hospital. Obviously there is something more that I want, and that it no longer involves the goal of Discord, which now is to simply do away with you at the soonest opportunity. I, however, have my own agenda I intend to execute.

The window in the wall began to close as space once reverted to its original, unaltered state. Twilight received one last, cold stare from Guilt’s orange eyes before the window closed.

If you still wish to cling to your pathetic illusion of equality, that is your business. However, I would carefully think what that implies, for equality and a functioning society are mutually exclusive terms, he stated calmly. The only ponies that are truly equal are those who have passed on.

And with that, Twilight was once again alone, wondering just whose side she was truly on.

=====================================================================

*******

Applejack shivered in the shadow of the hospital. Rarity had told her that Twilight had just woken up, and she had enthusiastically rushed to the hospital before remembering a promise she had made, a promise that turned the originally happy journey into one of crushing sadness. A promise she had made to Sweetie Belle just before she was released from the infirmary.

“You’ll come visit, won’t you?” she had asked.

“Sure Ah will. Promise. Ah can’t let you alone all by yerself fer long. You’ll git into trouble, like ya always seem to,” Applejack had said jokingly.

“And you’ll bring Apple Bloom, right?” Sweetie Belle had asked, looking up at Applejack earnestly.

Applejack wasn’t sure how to reply then, and she was still pondering the question afterward. The doctors theorized that, after she had fled Hate, Sweetie Belle had a stroke, possibly from the smoke in the forest fire. Twilight’s spell failed when she had lost her horn, and Sweetie wasn’t able to get enough air to stay awake, according to them. That made sense, except for the fact that Luna and her team found Sweetie Belle miles away from the forest, seemingly unharmed, save her being covered in soot and dirt.

Afterward, when Sweetie woke up, her memory didn’t seem to work properly. She remembered events from before the war just fine, but everything afterward seemed to be distorted--she she had a hard time properly recalling facts, such as which ponies were dead and which were still alive. She was fine otherwise; she was healthy, active, happy, and her short-term memory functioned perfectly fine. Applejack and Rarity, who were the only ponies able to help at the time, tried to rehabilitate her, but nothing seemed to work. The doctors they brought her to deemed the disease permanent and untreatable.

Rarity was crushed and infuriated, storming out of the hospital and vowing she’d find a cure. Applejack simply promised Sweetie Belle that she’d visit as often as she could. That was a couple of days ago. Rarity swallowed the pain since then and had simply tried to shut Sweetie Belle out of her mind, as if she couldn’t stand the thought of having a disabled younger sister, but Applejack knew that she was actually avoiding Sweetie Belle because she couldn’t stand hearing the names of the ponies her sister thought were still alive and well. There was too much pain surrounding those words for her to bear. So she left, and she didn’t come back.

That was why Applejack was simply standing outside the entrance to the hospital, trying to make up her mind. Sweetie wouldn’t mind if I didn’t go see her. She probably wouldn’t remember it anyway. But I just feel so bad for her... Her only company is the doctors and employees at the hospital, not any real friends. Both of her best friends are gone, and Rarity won’t even look at her. ...I guess I’m the only one who can help her right now. I need to be her friend when nopony else will.

So, Applejack hesitantly stepped inside the hospital, and showed her orange apple necklace to the nurse for identification. She slowly climbed the stairs up to floor three and made her way to Sweetie Belle’s chamber, then carefully pushed open the door.

Sweetie Belle was lying on the carpeting, doodling on a strip of paper. She was wearing a white hospital gown and smiling absently. Her eyes lit up when she saw Applejack enter the room, but her gaze was oddly unfocused, as if part of her was somewhere else. “Applejack!” she chirped, grinning and rushing up to her. “You’re here!”

“Uh-huh. How’ve ya been, sugarcube?” Applejack asked, pulling Sweetie into a hug.

“I’m okay. Did you bring Scootaloo?” Sweetie Belle asked, looking behind Applejack to see if anypony was there.

“Sorry, Sweetie,” Applejack said, smiling sadly. “She couldn’t make it.”

“Oh, okay. Tell her that I miss her, and that I can’t wait to get out so that we can go bowling,” Sweetie said.

“Bowling, huh?” Applejack asked.

Sweetie Belle nodded. “Yeah, just like the three of us used to, before the war. I wish Apple Bloom could come, too. That’d make it perfect. But... I don’t think I’m ever going to see her again,” Sweetie Belle admitted, staring at her hooves. “I wish this war had never started.”

“...Me, too, sugarcube,” Applejack agreed. She doesn’t remember everything, but she remembers what we’ve tried to tell her, what we’ve tried to drill into her mind.... sometimes. Sometimes, she might as well be that little filly living in Ponyville, going to school, and playing around with her friends. Now... Now she’s broken. It just ain’t fair.

They talked for a while more, telling each other stories and playing board games that were stored in the drawers of the small dorm which consisted of little more than a bathroom, desk, and bed. Sweetie told Applejack about her and her friends’ initial adventures in the ruins of Ponyville, and Applejack explained her limited experience in the Void. After a couple hours, though, Applejack noticed the time and said she’d have to meet up with Braburn and try to handle the family business. Sweet Apple Acres had been rapidly gaining popularity, partly due to the fluctuating food supply because of the war.

“Is Rarity going to come by? I miss her a lot, too,” Sweetie Belle said as Applejack put on her hat, adjusted her necklace, and prepared to leave. “I drew a picture of her, and I think she’ll really like it!” she chirped, holding up one of her scribbles.

“...Ah’ll mention it to her,” Applejack said, carefully steering around the truth. “In the meantime, Ah’ll look inta gettin’ you yer own apartment. Ah don’t plan on keepin’ ya here in this hospital too much longer.”

Sweetie Belle grinned, and for a moment, her fractured gaze was once again bright and intelligent. “Thanks! I can’t wait. And don’t forget to bring Apple Bloom next time, okay?”

Then the moment was gone, and Applejack quietly exited the hospital feeling emptier than ever before. She knew that on her next visit, Sweetie Belle would be expecting Scootaloo to be following her into the hospital, and she would be expect to be able to play with both her friends as if nothing had changed, as if the war had never started.

Because Sweetie Belle’s vision of Equestria would forevermore be what should have been, and not what actually is.

=====================================================================

[Note]: I do not own anything in this story that already belongs to someone else.
This story takes place BEFORE season two, but AFTER season one.
Please let me know if a link doesn’t work.
Illustration by Denial.

Comments

[Billy Symphony]

I am honestly sad right now after that sweetie belle part

[thaman]

I like Guilt being Mr. Exposition. Maybe we'll get some real answers instead of hearing cryptic messages (Hate) or just flat-out lies (Deception). Then again, who's to say that the Guilt visiting Twilight is actually Deception, or worse, Vengeance? As much as I want Twilight to side with Guilt, he may not be who he says he is...

Indicina answers one question but asks a thousand more. She is definitely important in this war... but how? Also, man the EoH have it rough. Twi is hornless, Dash will be flightless without Guilt's deal, Fluttershy is comatose, and Sweetie Belle? Man, that's tough, buddy.

Great (but sad) chapter. I thought I told you I couldn't handle much more gloom and doom! Curse you Mindblower! Just kidding, great job with the chapter!

[Csquared08]

So many questions to be answered, especially regarding Indicina, so many mind games that may or may not exist...

In any event, as suspicious as I am of Olly, he gains points from that hospital scene. That was a nice touch. It also reminded me yet again that as far as this story is concerned, Season 2 does not exist, so reading is still for eggheads

The EoH are in a tough spot. Rainbow Dash can't fly, Twilight has no horn, Fluttershy is in a coma... At least AJ got some sort of mini redemption-ish thingy with the Sweetie Belle scene.

And who would have guessed? Vengeance is wreaking havoc already

[Jirodyne]

Another wonderful chapter. Makes me wonder how much is left, and what is going to happen next!

[PonyBlaze]

Sweetie

How did Twilight's horn burst/disinegrate?

[Jirodyne]

754118 Earlier in the story, Discord put a curse on them so they couldn't use magic or fly. Celestia could break Twilight from the curse, who could then break everypony else out of it, but at a cost to Twilight. Sometime in the future, Twilight would lose her ability to use magic. During the fight with Hate, he mentions that he sped up time in his little pocket dimension, so the effect would happen sooner and Twilight collapsed. My guess is, the doctors found she couldn't use magic and removed it, or it wasn't mentioned but when the effect happen it had remove it.

[Mindblower]

754118 This wasn't stated as clearly as I would have liked in Sixteen, so to all those curious, here's how it happened:

When Celestia gave Twilight temporary immortality for a short period of time, just long enough to get rid of the Thaumic Incindia, she knew there were going to be severe side effects, like there were when she lent her immortality to Luna in a similar situation. However, because of *spoilers,* Deception knows how to manipulate Celestia's immortality, so she gave Hate a spell that would accelerate and intensify the side effects. Twilight's horn disintegrated due to the spell Hate cast when he was close to death.

754154 Actually, it was Guilt who cast the Thaumic Incindia.

Hope this clears things up. Cheers!

[HikariToYami]

OMG, i seriously don't get how you can make everything this good. Not that i am compliaining mind you. Now i just want to know more!

I hope everything turns to the better soon, but Deception really needs to die that...

[zombylover10]

Damn spike defected.....I really want more info on olly now I love the guy

[PonyBlaze]

I see... My spacebar is so messed up right now

[frits191]

love this story! It's even better than Envy and Arrogance!
It's really well written and I was kinda choked up there in the end when you said that almost everybody of the main 6 where screwed

Great story anyway can't wait for chapter 18!

[Zelda Spectrum]

Wow...another great, yet very sad chapter. I think I feel a tear coming on.

Manly tears have been shed

[Csquared08]

717623 717913 718009

So because I can, I'm going to check up on all my predictions.

Prediction 1: "Fluttershy and AJ fully realize their powers next, AJ first."
Prediction 1 edit (made after chapter 3): "Also, just a hunch, but it seems like from this separation that maybe it's Rarity and Fluttershy who are next."

My hunch was correct. It was Rarity followed by Fluttershy. Of course, this only leaves AJ and Twilight, and since Twilight is Magic, I believe she will be last. AJ, looks like you're next.
1/1 so far.

Prediction 2: Sweetie dies.

While she's not permanently dead, she did die in... Chapter 15, was it? But Rarity realized her Potential, and Sweetie didn't stay dead. So she died, but then she came back. I'mma count it anyway
2/2

Prediction 3: Scoots moves closer to becoming Vengeance, or something of the sort.

Scoots released Vengeance. That qualifies, no?
3/3

Prediction 4: Olly remains ambiguous.

This one is more subjective than the others, but I still find Olly to be suspicious in that he seems to know a few things he shouldn't. Maybe that's just me, but I can't help being suspicious of him. Does that make him ambiguous? Perhaps. For now, though, I'm going to say he is.
4/4

Prediction 5: Deception begins to tear down Rainbow Dash, and just about succeeds by the time this part of the story is over.

Scoots released Vengeance. RD is close to Scoots. With Scoots on the dark side and her wings out of commission, RD is slowly being broken. She may pull through, but it's obvious that the potential for her breaking is there.
5/5

Prediction 6: All new OCs will be dead by the end.

Centime is our only new OC of any significance so far. He's dead.
6/6

I did not expect all of those to come true, nor did I want some of them to come true. I'm not sure how I feel about this...

[Frostwyrm]

Well, wasn't expecting all that with Guilt. Though, he is the most objective character in the series...
It will be interesting to see how he influences Twilight's decisions in the next few chapters.

I don't think I commented on the last few chapters, I've been busy on my own fic.
The death of Centime I was kind of expecting at some point, he didn't really have much purpose other than provoking an emotional response from the other characters.
However, Scoot's releasing Vengeance was totally unexpected for me - though in hindsight, the seeds for that were already there.

Feels like we're nearing the end of GaH, can't wait for the 'finale' - then on to Deception and Vengeance!
Frostwyrm

[Rapid Motion]

I got the feeling twilight is going to be able to use magic like Indicina (w/o a horn that is)

I got a feeling as honesty, AJ is going to have to break the news to everypony that doesn't know about the bad news.

As for the last thing on my mind, I have to bring up shipping. While I am not a huge shipping fan, I like what could happen here, Dahie and Olly would work nice with one another. Then again you could easily have bigger plans for both of the characters.

[Flutterstrucked]

Dang, I wanted to have a say in this before this chapter came out, but due to certain circumstances and about a week off or something, anyway I was just starting to think this: Past thought "Deception kills Olly as RD starts to really "Like" him, per-say targeting her or sumthing." But right now a small thought came into my mind. Small Thought: "Deception planned on making Dashes wings irrepairable, Dash loses wing, wing-loss "spirtually drain her" and what-not. An-" Wait a second, Flutters condition..........Dang, now Imma have to wait weeks or months till I read other chaps and stories. Curse you Internet for not being available everywhere!!!!!

P.S: Wow, I expected something happening to Sweetie, mainly from being brought back, and to think of it, If Celestia was there while Rarity was Reviving her, Celestia would probably be in Comatose too if she tried to stop her........

P.P.S: wheres Derpy, I'm not sure if she was K.I.A. or something else ( To lazy to check {:|)

[Jack Ass Knife]

779206 My opinion on Olly and RD exactly. It makes too much sense.

PS: What's so great about Derpy?

[GettingOutOfHoof]

Not Big Macintosh...

[CluelessDetective]

You really know how to tug on heart strings don't you? I'm about to burst into tears man.
I really like how you made it to where (Almost) everyone is questioning why they're the elements of harmony or the elements of discord. Olly hating Celestia.. Finally someone's getting the idea!
Still, bravo good sir.

[Rakdar]

Is Dash FLIGHTLESS?