*Bang bang bang* "Sean!?"
"Carmine?" I slowly walked to the front door. A quick peek through the peephole saw one of my few friends standing outside with a messenger bag. I unlocked it and pulled it open, "Carmine, what's up?"
Before he could answer I could see a faint streak of bright blue hair peeking its way out of his bag, "John told you to look that show up too...I think we have a similar problem...you mind?" He waved his hand inside.
"Uh...I really-"
"I already know..." I tilted his head towards his bag, "Just let me in." Carmine pushed past me, reaching into his bag, "John really screwed us over." When her turned around her had a small mare with a neon blue mane.
"Whoa..." The mare said looking around, "Mind if I look around?" She jumped down and ran off.
"Sean...Vinyl Scratch."
Carmine flopped back on my couch, "So yeah, shit's crazy." He lifted his legs just as Vinyl walked under him, "She likes to do that...."
"Yeah I do." She laughed as she trotted around my living room.
"Anyways....so far even Kenny said he had one...everyone John told about that stupid show got one." Carmine ducked as Dash flew into the room, "Jesus! They can fly!?"
Dash flew out with Vinyl chasing after, "Yeah...they ca-"
"Hello!" Rose walked in, "Who's this? Can I finally go home..."
Carmine was frozen, staring at the mare before picking her up, "Sean...why do you have two? Sean...answer me. Sean!"
"....Okay so maybe I-"
"Rainbow Dash said he did it..." Rose snitched, "So, who are you?"
Carmine slowly lowered Rose into his lap, staring at me with the fury of a norse god. "You do realize what I will do to you if you do it again, right?"
I swallowed hard, "Y-yeah...so...what-"
He stood up and handed me Rose, "I have to work...you take care of Vinyl, I'll try and figure this all out...delete the fucking program or hide it. If you do it again I will take them all away and smash your fucking computer.... Got it?"
"Yeah." I said with a slight tremble, "Got it."
Carmine just shook his head, "I'll drop by later. I'm sure I can figure this out...even if I have to do something stupid to do it." He walked out.
"Hmmm is he single?" Rose asked from my grip, "Cause that. That is a stallion with presence."
I just turned her around and looked her in the eyes, "Traitor..."
"Kidnapper..."
I grumbled something as I took her under my arm and walked her to the back yard. I'd set up a little garden for her since she showed up. Five days of ignoring me and she had already caused the plants to grow insanely fast. I set her down, "Rose can we-"
She just gave my shin a quick buck and trotted off. My suspicions about being quick friends was utterly shattered when she started berating me for forcing her to leave her garden unattended. Needless to say she was not a fan of mine.
I watched her drag the hose over before fumbling with the spigot. She was amazingly strong for being so small. Stronger than Dash at least.
I left her alone and walked back inside, I had learned to leave the door open and to stack things for them to jump higher on. Needless to say Rose never slept in the same room as me but she seemed to enjoy the couch, while Dash had taken to curling around my head each night.
I walked into my living room when a blast of dubstep burst from my office, "Jesus!" I had no idea my speakers could go that high!
I rushed into my office, Dash was plinking off the walls while the mare Carmine had dropped off was bouncing up and down on my keyboard, "Du-u-u-ude this things- got some bass!"
I quickly reached the computer and shut it off, "What the hell?! How did you even-"
I was cut off by a soft aura surrounding the button before cranking the volume back to max, "I- can- use- machines!" She said, her glasses bouncing up and down her muzzle, "Totally- gotta- get one- of these!"
It felt like my teeth were vibrating. I quickly grabbed Dash and ran into the hall, throwing the door shut and muffling the noise, "What the hell...she's gonna go-" Dash bit my hand, "Oi?!"
"That is DJ Pon3! Why'd you pull me out!?" She popped free of my grip and tried to move the doorknob, "I freaking love DJ Pon3!"
"Insanity..." I pulled the door just open, Dash flew in and was gone for a while. Leaving me alone with a house full of blaring music and an angry gardener. I decided to grab my laptop and go sit with Rose outside. At least maybe I'll have some quiet for a few minutes.
"DROP THE GUN MAN, NOBODY HAS TO GET HURT!"
Dash... Such a fangirl.
This chapter was nice, as always. I'd love to see some LONGER chapters, though.
3583750
READ THE STORY OR I'LL DO IT
*Grabs Sean*
"JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?"
3583755 *CLICK* "I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS MAN!"
Every pony in this story is now as chubby and small as the picture. It's canon, no questions asked.
The gun only goes away when I get a new chapter..Kapeesh
3583755>>3583761 ALRIGHT!! LET'S FUCKING DO THIS!!
*Spawns several guns and blades*
I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE~!!!
*points one of his guns at himself*
3583922
Calm down there Waldorf...
Eh... Shoot him, I don't care.
I can only imagine your pain as you write this.
3584073
So you want the story to end...then why are you even here...Fuck it then...
3584083
Nah, I like the story I just want ta see what happens if Sean gets shot.
3584077
If this story doesn't help my others than it's fucking useless...but Carmine is fun to write, cause he hates the whole situation as much as I do.
3584087
The story would end....
Lol... get Princess Celestia in on this so she can work her magic and get everyone back... xD
If Sean is going to sit outside with Rose, I sincerely hope he has a good warranty on his laptop.
*Kicks door open*
THE HELL WAS THAT SCREAMING!?
*Sees hostage situation*
What in the fu…oh, what's this?
*Reads paper*
Ah.
*Turns to audience*
You really should. His other shit's pretty cool.
3584241
FUCK THIS SHIT- *Pulls pin* FUCK DENVER- *BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*
FUR! and you call me weird.
Least I haven't pull any weaponry on you.
Erm - why is Carmine an ass?
This was a pretty good chapter until he threatened one of his supposed friend with senseless violence and property destruction.
And yes, it was senseless - the logical next step on discovering he clicked the button twice is to ask _why_ he did it, not immediately start spouting threats as to what'll happen if he does it again. I'll grant you, there is a time for that, but that time comes only after Sean has explained himself, and it seems like there is a possibility he'd do it again.
Another, minor, annoyance - Rose Luck also being a bitch. Now, fair enough, she blames him for her current predicament, so it makes sense she doesn't like him. But antagonising the giant being that houses you, feeds you, and upon whom you are completely dependent on ever finding a way home? Genius!
...
And, whilst I did like the rest of the chapter, there wasn't all that much 'rest' of it to like.
I look forward to your next, longer chapter.
Well, that took no time at all. To read, that is. What I don't get is why his 'friend' was so pissed off. It's not like the two ponies at the apartment are his responsibility.
Eh..
3583922
-Looks up from story-
Eh? What's all this-
-Sees insanity-
. . . Right then. Ending this now.
-Takes a deep breath-
FUS RO DAH!
3584446 Oh mother-*gets knocked away like a ragdoll, a stoic anime expression on his face*
3584446
YOU CAN'T KILL WHAT'S ALREADY DEAD! *Click- BANG. Thud*
Send me a Link to that Page, So I can Collect them ALL.
3584298 Totally agree on the "senseless asshole" part :/
3584465whaaaat the f***********ck *bang*
3584729>>3584298
Carmine has been his friend for years, so he's going off of prior knowledge about what he would do.
All he needed was Rose telling him he did it on purpose to know he would do it again. His threats were mostly bluffs save smashing his computer.
And Rose doesn't owe him shit, if anything it's the other way around. Sean hurts Rose then guess what: he would lose all support from everyone else.
This chapter was kind of confusing, actually. Probably just me, though.
So that last sentence. Looks like a re-write of three or four sentences or something. I don't know. Makes my head hurt though.....
Nice chapter, and even though it was short, I don't think it was rushed. It had plenty of info, and story so, it was good. Nice job. Short chapters are usually disappointing.
3585175
Okay, I'll grant you prior knowledge. I'm not sure what sort of prior knowledge could be used to draw that conclusion from the given information, but I'll give you "knowing how Sean works". You probably aught to convey that rationale to the reader, however.
Sooo... because it would be socially unacceptable for him to take _any action whatsoever_ against her, she just gets away with being a complete and utter cow? And of course, I get that actually bringing harm to Rose is out of the question. But there are a myriad services and luxuries provided her that would be unpleasant, but not harmful, to be denied. And _that_ would garner the disapproval of those in the know?
Because asides from "sucking it up" the only other reasonable option is to dump Rose on one of his friends, and refuse to have anything more to do with her, which of course would result in the dissatisfaction of at least one person.
Are you _really_ saying he has no choice but to tolerate her abuse, or suffer the scorn of his friends? Really?
*Sneaks in to seans computer room and clicks on the program 17 times* finally some progress "what the hell are you doing in my hou" *punches sean in the face and runs away* "have fun sean
I feel like I missed a few chapters. Skipping five days and just saying Roseluck doesn't like Sean makes me feel like we missed a few rather important scenes. I mean, we went from seeing him scratching her in her sleep to her calling him a kidnapper and bucking his shin. Wut? I know you said that you would be expanding upon her character after this chapter, but why do we need to see this Carmine guy before we see that? What does he add to the story? Who is he? What does he look like? Why do I care? Why doesn't Sean punch him in the face for making those threats? All you said about him is that he is one of Sean's few friends and said he had a messenger bag. This chapter was meant to be an introduction, but I don't have any idea who this guy is!
admittedly its fun to watch doc here write a story he doesnt really like writing,And that he freely admits he thinks is shit
The hilarity ensues.
3585509
An introduction, not a familiarization, that's what the next is going to be.
3584095 I can see you don't really care about this story. It's a shame because none of these types of stories really have cared.
But that's fine. I'll check out your other stories that you DO care about and want others to see via this story that you DON'T care about.
3585975
Thanks?
But I kinda care about Carmine...he presents a chance for some depth and calling out of bullshit in the story. So...I like part of it I suppose....
"Hello Sean, I'm just here to threaten you with physical harm, destruction of property and to dump my responsibilities on you. Never mind that I could simply tell you not to bring any more ponies into the world as it would be a problem, or if I honestly thought that you doing this again was an actual possibility removing your computer immediately should be priority one as opposed to threatening you to not do it. For my introductory scene I must showcase my character at it's best; and through that character demonstrate how sad and pathetic and a person you are that a person like me is one of your only friends"
Quite the shift in tone, no? From miniature pony antics to threats of bodily harm in one chapter, not quite what I was expecting from the first two chapters. For the record though, if we are to ever like this Carmine character may I suggest that his main method of communicating with his friends not be one that induces the urge to stab him repeatably in the eye socket? Because the only thing I can take from his introduction is that he is something of a very unpleasant person in general if this is so important that it is necessary to threaten a friend with bodily harm to be certain that he will not do something, yet not so important that work takes priority over taking care of the pony who he brought into the world or otherwise attempting to resolve the problem.
If you would be so kind as to show some further details as to why dear Carmine would be in such a manner please do so, or give us a chapter from his perspective because otherwise this man is one whom we can only hate.
Have a nice day.
EpsilonWinter
So at first, Rainbow was so small that she was trapped inside of a cup. Then she went to sleep next to the main character and ever since seems to have a shifting sense of size with how you refer to what she does. For instance, she was asleep nuzzled against his cheek before, now she likes to curl around his head? How big are the ponies exactly? You seem to be having issues portraying them as a consistent size.
3584689 me too
Fuck...
3600793i was looking forward to reading it too.
3600854
Yeah well sorry...it wasn't fun to write, and these people are rather unpleasable. I might do a spiritual sequel*
3600889 or a rewrite.
reply to this comment if you do, ok?
3600909
Maybe I'll just go with my original plan, and hold the story hostage for some views on a different work....*Evil finger pyramid*
3600914 wait.
this has 500 likes. and only 26 dislike.
you call that unpleasable?
3600965
Don't ask...people get lippy in the comments and I'd rather not deal with them on a fic I don't much care about.