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One year after Gorrog was defeated, Hell has returned and a new demon has brought back Gorrog from his sleep,
Kingdoms all around Equestria feel the Black Tide as it emerges from Hell, its strength soon shall be put to the test as the survivors of the First Demon War prepare for a far larger assault, as Hell returns with a vengeance.
(This story is the sequel to Equestrian Doom, you can read it but I'll try to make it understandable for those who haven't.)
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Haha! you already have me at this being a doom crossover!
not a particularly bad start, but there are a lot of errors here than most fan fictions than usual though. "stalwart was an excellent commander and the closet friend of..."
lol closet friend... I guess serving in the army is pretty stressing huh.
anyway can't wait for the cyberdemon's appearance!
<plays the theme of e1m1>
tenenen tenen tenen tenen tenenen - tenen tenen tenen teneeenn!
Well...
The Baron of Hell has appeared....
3510428
I'm not sure if I'll implement the Cyberdemon as my story takes place after Doom Three ROE so he is dead...
Excellent. A good start for what will hopefully be another good story!
3530540 thanks you very much Dominatus
The mare...Pinkamena?
3583366 perhaps, but I haven't decided, I really came up with her to show how depraved Little Horn is.
MMMMOOOOAAAARRRR!!!!!!!!!!!! Gorrog hath been stabbed? by what? surely not a wraith?
Well this should be most entertaining...
3643544 Yes it shall, but where do you think the story goes?
3643573
To hell?
3643598 Well... it sort of does, but I promise you, the ponies will see its fury again. Also your thoughts on my characters?
3643606
Hmm... I suppose that they will suffice, but we need someone... bigger. For once, I must beseech the return of a dead boss...
The cyberdemon must return.
3643623 Unfortunately I am unsure of how to do this, as this takes place after the events of Doom Three Resurrection of Evil so I assume he is dead, but I could always just have their be multiple...
3643644
Actually, demons do not truly die, but are reborn in the river styx after their mortal carcasses are used up.
There, now go nuts.
3643657 Ok, well I'll bring him back, due to popular demand, the Cyber Demon returns.
3643670
Yay!
3643672 I promise He'll have a personality, and be a true boss, as in walking through armies boss.
3643681
The true question remains:
On which side of the black tide doth he walk?
3643695 I do not know but I presume neither
I will try to keep my review brief, but it will encompass all the important aspects of your story.
No insult to you, but you need to run this by an editor. You struggle with proper comma usage and have a large amount of run on sentences. The pacing was a bit shaky to begin with but you eventually settled down. The story itself is not bad, I only wish I had more Doom knowledge.
This is just my hasty first read review. I will be going back for a secondary read through when I have more time. Hopefully I'll have more to say next time, and I'm sorry I made you wait so long for this little. Regardless, I award you a thumb up and a favorite. Don't stop writing.
3654279 Thanks final draft, any editors you might know who would be willing to help me?
3654279 Also, I have to make up the lore as I go along due to Doom having very little lore, beyond Demons on Mars, from hell. (If I am wrong I'd love to find some lore)
3659097
I think my friend told me there was a book or two written that were supposed to be canon...not like the movie...God no...
3659104 thank god then, the movie sucked. Also what do you think of Gorrog/ The Baron, did I do those characters well?
This story is a testimony to Doom guy's power. The fact that he managed to beat these demons so easily... Damn.
3723558 Thanks for reading, btw did you read Equestrian Doom?
3723619 No I haven't read the Equrstria's Doom. I marked it as 'read later' and never touched it. I'll probably go back and read it.
3725236 Well thanks for reading my story, any suggestions.
What is this a crossover of?
3783429 Doom Three mainly with elements of Doom 2, but due to a lack of lore, I've had to invent lots of my own head canon, mainly due to a lack of any lore, other than Demons on Mars
Personally I'm surprised that the demons haven't heard of Doom Guy. Considering he defeated an entire invasion force singlehanded, then took a stroll down to hell and killed everything he could get his hands on. Methinks he'd be well known.
3787014 They have, however this takes place roughly 100 years after Doom Three Resurrection of Evil. He is a sort of a legend at this point.
I'm getting a gut feeling that the 'Greater Demon' is Doom Guy given the fact that you said this takes place 100 years after doom 3. Then again that could just be coincidence or perhaps your referring to one of the head demons from Doom 3 or Resurrection of Evil.
3851883 Well I have a special plan for that so I will not reveal what or who it is for now, but I promise you this, it will be big.
Death! Blood! Gorey Glory! I love it!!!
3873042 Thank you.
I luv dis, bro. So tru ma man. Spank dat homie, no wat i meen?
3894296 What?
3895445
Ignore the supposed comment I made, I was hacked, and the person behind it did multiple things on my account that I would never do. That being said, I have never read this story, and I don't really plan too. Sorry, but it's the truth.
3895511 Ok, well have a nice day
The grammar in this chapter was horrible, (I will edit for you) but aside from that, it is very enjoyable to read!
P.S last chapters fight didn't have any "gore" to it.
Moar.
You had one job, Abkesh... One fucking job.
3908902 That made me laugh, thanks.
3910026
I try.
3911554 Well guys I'm considering a spin off series called Survivors of Fillydelphia, which is the story of a group of ponies who are struggling to survive the slaughter at Fillydelphia. Any thoughts?
3911787
I got none.
Well, maybe if the demons still occupied it...
Fillydelphia, I mean.
3911811 No it takes place during the siege, what do you think the ponies were doing during Gorrog's little nap, they were clearing a whole city, I did a bad job with the timescale but it takes them a few months to clear out roughly 1000 demons from the city.