Chapter 2
A contest.
It was a ridiculous idea, Twilight now realised. But in the heat of the argument with Applejack the previous day it had seemed inspired: a series of athletic events that would put each brother through their paces. The pony that won would be worthy of being crowned the best big brother in the world.
No. Just no. Stupid.
Athleticism had almost nothing to do with the qualities that made a good big brother. Nor would winning in any way prove that that particular brother loved their sister more than the other.
She had reached all of these conclusions during her fitful sleep the previous night, and now, in the cold light of day, she could see the whole thing for the complete logical travesty that it was.
But she was still angry. Applejack had just been so arrogant to assume that her relationship with her brother must transcend all others. Twilight knew that family was important to her, yes, but she wasn't the only pony who cared about her siblings. And though Big Macintosh was a nice pony and a friend, he wasn't the pinnacle of brotherhood just because Applejack said so. When Shining Armor won, Applejack would have to accept that with a little humble pie.
And she was one-hundred-percent certain that Shining Armor would win.
Not that she didn't have respect for Big Macintosh's abilities of course. He was physically strong – almost impossibly so. But from what she'd seen, that was where his advantages would end.
Shining Armor on the other hand was a Canterlot Royal Guard with many years of military training behind him, and head coach of the Crystal Empire Equestria Games Athletics team. He would surely have the advantages in endurance, speed, dexterity and overall fitness, not to mention his trump card: magic.
They approached the large, flat field that was to be the venue for the contest, where Applejack was already waiting.
Various obstacles and apparatus littered the meadow that would be used for the upcoming games, which the farmpony had already taken to setting up. A small raised hillock overlooked the competition ground and would serve as the spot from which Twilight and Applejack would spectate and cheer their brothers on. Nearby at the edge of the field, one of the farm's older, smaller disused barns stood sentry, the paint peeling but otherwise in serviceable condition.
As they approached, Applejack caught sight of them and waved them over.
---
This was a dumb idea.
Applejack had spent the entire previous evening with that one thought stuck in her head. Even now as she dragged the last of the barrels into place, she knew that there was no way this contest was going to prove anything. But she’d seen red when she’d got into that fight with Twilight yesterday and she was still bitter even now. She had told Twilight how she could feel closer to somepony after a fight. Heck, she had demonstrated it. And then Twilight had just ignored her, like she thought she was making it up! Worse, she'd twisted it to say it showed how poor a relationship with her brother she must have. All because she couldn't accept she was wrong. The nerve!
So she had dutifully set up the events, and was looking forward to watching Twilight eat her words.
Because she was one-hundred-percent confident that Big Macintosh would win.
It wasn't that she didn't respect Shining Armor. He was a good leader and an honourable guy – she almost felt sorry for him being dragged in like this. But he'd been sat on a throne for a while now, and he was bound to have gone a bit soft and flabby. It was unavoidable when you were out of the swing of things. Big Macintosh on the other hand, he'd been working the farm every single day of his life. He was as tough as old boots, solid as a mountain and as powerful as a locomotive. Plus, he'd had experience of similar competitions from his younger days on the rodeo circuit, and that would give him the edge.
A noise brought her out of her thoughts. Two sets of hoofbeats approached from over the shallow rise and she looked up to see Twilight and her brother. She waved a hoof and beckoned them over.
Polite, if cool, greetings were exchanged between Applejack and Twilight, and Applejack bid Shining Armor a welcome to the farm. That left one competitor absent.
“Is Big Macintosh coming? Or does my brother win by default?” asked Twilight. She realised that a snarky tone had slipped in somewhere. She hadn't really meant it to and she tried to squash it.
Applejack gave Twilight a vexed look. “Hold yer horses, princess, he’ll be here.” She looked back in the general direction of the farmhouse, obscured though it was by the orchard and the gently rolling contours of the countryside. When no heavy hoofsteps could readily be heard she loudly called, “Big Macintosh!”
Almost immediately the sound of the workhorse’s heavy hoofbeats approached from beyond the low ridge. It was uncanny, Twilight found herself thinking. She wondered if this was a gift all earth-ponies shared. The ability to summon a family member on cue.
Big Macintosh approached with his usual languid gait. He dipped his head in greeting to Twilight and her brother before looking back at Applejack.
Something was wrong. There was a standoffishness in the air between his sister and her friend. He quickly looked up again, noted the field full of equipment, then looked back at Twilight and her brother, and finally back once more to Applejack, who was just now opening her mouth to speak.
He got there first.
“Nope.”
Applejack’s jaw hung open. He’d done it again. Her brother had somehow not only managed to get to four, he’d done so without being given either of the twos!
“Come on, Big Mac. Family honour is at stake!”
Big Macintosh closed his eyes, rolling them behind his eyelids. Applejack had a strange way, whenever she badly needed something from him, of trotting out a concept she called ‘family honour.’ It was a rare technique, and odd not least because it was entirely unnecessary.
There was no such thing as 'family honour' as far as Big Macintosh could see. It was an abstract construct superseded by simple fact: Applejack was his little sister, and he would always do everything he could to make her happy. But if she felt she had to invoke a mythical trump card to make her feel better about asking, so be it.
But as Big Macintosh looked around the field and deduced the purposes of the various apparatus, as well as the presence of the other two ponies, one fact was clear to him.
No good would come of this.
Unfortunately, it was also clear that Applejack's mind was set. So his options were: refuse and upset his sister now, or play along and watch as her friendship ended later.
What a great choice.
At least refusing now allowed Applejack to blame him. She would lose face and be angry beyond all reasoning, but she would be angry at him, not her friend. That was preferable. At least he would have a measure of control. He could probably fix their relationship given enough time. He could do far less if she ended up angry at Twilight.
He took a deep, reluctant breath, and prepared to become the worst brother in the world.
And then, for a moment, he made eye-contact with his opposite number. He'd never met Shining Armor, Captain of the Equestrian Royal Guard and Prince of the Crystal Empire, but he knew of him. The white-coated stallion was standing with a noble yet humble posture, but also with a look a vague uncertainty. He wasn’t blessed with his own almost prescient deductive skills, but he too was quickly coming to the realisation that all was not right. And in those seconds when they met each other's gaze, the beginnings of understanding passed between them.
A plan formed. Maybe, if Twilight's brother was the sort of stallion that look suggested, there might be a better option. It was a big risk, but something about the other stallion suggested it might be worth taking.
Unfortunately, even he couldn't tell what somepony was really like from looks alone. If this was to work he needed to know if Shining Armor was honest, honourable and trustworthy. And there were few better ways of judging a pony's character than by watching how they competed.
Big Macintosh looked down at his sister’s pleading face and reluctantly nodded.
“Eeyup.”
Applejack gave a little whoop of delight. She knew her big brother would come around. If anypony cared as much about family honour, it was him!
The Big Brother Best Friend Forever Battle Royale was underway.
---
There wasn’t even time for the two competitors to exchange greetings before they were forced into competition. Twilight and Applejack seemed determined to goad them into action as quickly as they could, and before they both could even stop to think, they were off and running.
There was an upset in the very first event – the barrel weave – traditionally one of Big Macintosh’s strongest rodeo competitions. Both stallions ran the gauntlet cleanly, but Shining Armor surprised everyone by posting a time of eighteen-point-nine seconds to Mac’s nineteen-point-five. Twilight’s theory about Armor’s military training standing him in good stead was holding true. There was some gloating. Applejack seethed quietly and bit her tongue.
Big Macintosh dominated the hay-bale toss, his bale travelling three meters further than Shining Armor's best throw. The tug-o-war was a similar affair, Big Macintosh using his immense strength to full effect as he inexorably pulled Shining Armor towards the boggy, smelly mud hole. When Shining Armor's hooves reached the very edge of the pit though, Big Macintosh simply stopped pulling and stood. A few token yanks failed to budge the farmpony even an inch before Shining Armor realised that Big Macintosh was actually choosing not to pull him straight into the muck, and allowing him the chance to concede graciously.
He gave a respectful nod for that, and got one in return.
Shining Armor went on to be victorious in the push-up contest, reaching one-hundred repetitions a full fifteen seconds ahead of Big Macintosh. He was also victorious – although just barely – in the ball-bouncing competition, in which neither stallion put on a particularly good showing.
After that came rope-tricking, and though Big Macintosh was a little rusty he quickly found his old form and showed all present why he’d once taken first place in the All-Equestria Rodeo. Without using magic Shining Armor put on a rather pitiful display, and though this was the one event on the roster in which victory could only be judged subjectively, Twilight had to concede that Big Macintosh was the winner. There was some gloating. Twilight seethed quietly and bit her tongue.
In fact it vexed Twilight considerably. She had noticed that throughout, Shining Armor hadn’t used his magic once, even though doing so would have meant easy victory in several events. In another time and place she would have respected his restraint and sense of fair play, but right here right now, she needed him to win!
Archery was next, and even eschewing magic and donning unfamiliar forehoof bracers, Shining Armor managed an almost-perfect one-hundred-and-forty points, a stray gust of wind the only reason his final arrow fell beyond the bullseye. Big Macintosh had never handled a bow in his life, and initially put the bracers on back-to-front until Shining Armor kindly corrected him. In the end he managed to put up a respectable score of ninety-five.
The events continued with the balance of power shifting constantly, and neither stallion able to pull out a real lead over the other. As the number of contests remaining dwindled and the scores remained almost even, the once-encouraging cheering of the two sisters gradually degenerated into insistent shouts and desperate screams for victory. Both brothers began to exchange awkward looks as the hysteria only seemed to increase.
In the penultimate competition, both Shining Armor and Big Macintosh took to the long-jump and posted identical distances. So identical they were, that there was then a heated argument between Applejack and Twilight which – Shining Armor couldn’t believe it – came down to them fighting over the placement of individual grains of sand in the pit. It was, apparently, crucial. Big Macintosh was one point behind. To have any hope of winning the competition, he needed to win this event and bring the scores level going into the final.
With the girls finally distracted, Big Macintosh made eye contact with his opponent who looked back and gave an embarrassed shrug. Everything he'd seen of Twilight's brother thus far gave him cause to hope a little. He had been fair, honest, and a very good sport. But he still needed his co-operation. Many things could yet go wrong.
Big Macintosh half-turned and cocked his head subtly towards the vacant barn a little way off.
Shining Armor, taking his meaning at once, followed quickly and pulled the door mostly-closed behind them once they were inside.
Hidden and out of earshot, they both visibly relaxed.
“Don’t think our sisters even introduced us," began the farmer. "Name's Big Macintosh.”
“I’m Shining Armor. Nice to meet you.”
Big Macintosh's optimism increased. It spoke volumes that the other pony had left both “Captain,” and “Prince” out of his introduction. But Shining Armor evidently wasn't interested in pompous airs and graces. In fact, he seemed fairly down-to-earth. That was one major worry allayed.
“Reckon our sisters have gotten a little too worked up over us.”
“Yeah,” said Armor glancing back through the mostly closed door. He could still make out both ponies hunched over the sand pit, arguing over whose hoofprint that had been. “It’s kind of embarrassing, but I think Twilight’s doing it because she thinks somehow this’ll prove I’m a better brother than you.” He looked back sheepishly at Big Macintosh. “Sorry about all this.”
Big Macintosh nodded, satisfied they were both on the same page. “Don’t think much good’s gonna come if one of us wins,” he ventured carefully. If Shining Armor had an ego, or a defensive desire to please Twilight in the short term...if he believed that victory in this tragic contest was still a worthwhile endeavour...there was no hope.
Shining Armor looked back and nodded gravely.
“No. It's not." He looked at the ground and his face became a mask of concentration. Big Macintosh was about to give him the next prompt, but Armor spoke up again. "If only we could show them...”
Big Macintosh nodded slowly and smiled a little. His new friend was getting to the end much more quickly than he’d expected. He'd hardly needed to steer him at all.
Shining Armor’s head raised slowly as inspiration struck. It was a crazy thought, and he hesitated to voice it lest the farmpony take offense. It was going to take some explanation and some convincing, but it might work.
“I’ve got an idea...”
“Eeyup.”
Shining Armor gawped at the large red stallion stood opposite him. He’d taken him to be a pleasant, honourable gentlefellow, but perhaps a little slow on the uptake. Now, with a dawning sense of awe, he realised that wasn’t the case at all. Applejack's brother had reached the same conclusion some time ago, and had led him there perfectly. You sly dog, he thought. He had a better grasp of strategy than some Generals he knew. Had it been an ambush, he would have walked right into it, but it was clear that Big Macintosh simply had no interest in getting one over on him. They both realised there were more important considerations afoot.
But there was a significant hurdle still to overcome. He looked seriously at Big Macintosh.
"Do we trust each other enough for this?"
The other stallion looked back at him with the same apparently-lazy expression he'd worn most of the day, but now Armor got the feeling that there was actually much more going on behind those eyes.
Big Macintosh allowed his gaze to travel from Shining Armor to the barn door, beyond which he was disappointed to hear the sounds of argument still forthcoming. There were very few other options, but he wasn't going to go through with this if he didn't have complete confidence in the other pony before him. He was going to be entrusting him with the most important thing in the world.
He looked back into Shining Armor's eyes once more, scrutinizing closely for any hint of deception, malice or cruelty.
And found none whatsoever.
Big Macintosh raised a forehoof, spat on it and extended it to Shining Armor.
It was not something a Prince would do. It was not something a Captain would do. But Shining Armor hesitated not a second in returning the gesture in kind.
Hoofbump.
"Reckon we do."
---
Stood on the opposite side of the long-jump pit from Applejack, Twilight was gradually beginning to accept that Big Macintosh may have won by what Pinkie Pie would have called a 'smidgeameter.' A smidgeameter was apparently defined as 'the smallest unit of measurement in existence, divided by two.'
It wouldn't matter though. Shining Armor would win the final event, Applejack would have to accept he was the best big brother, and then they would both apologise and go back to being friends. Just like her theory predicted would happen.
She hoped.
She was about to formally concede the long jump when from nowhere a blue-tipped white-coated hoof swept across the sand and obliterated all of the marks which for so long had been the subject of such intense argument.
She looked up, astonished to see Shining Armor stood next to Applejack, who instead looked up in fury.
"Why the hay'd you go and do that? Mac won that jump fair and square!"
"He sure did," reassured Armour, as Big Macintosh took up his position next to Twilight.
"Well finally, some sense! Looks like it's all come down to the final contest then."
"Nope."
"Huh?" said Applejack and Twilight together.
Applejack glanced suspiciously at Big Macintosh opposite her, then up at Shining Armor to her side.
"What's goin' on?"
"Ain't gonna be no more competin'. It's a tie."
"What?"
Shining Armor spoke up, addressing both mares. "Well, we got talking and both felt like a change, so we thought we'd switch for a while." He looked down at Applejack. "Gonna be your brother for a couple of days. Alright?"
"What?!" She looked incredulously at her real brother.
"Eeyup." He nodded slowly, a smile on his face.
Applejack was not impressed. "That's–!"
"Genius!" Exclaimed Twilight. "A chance to independently assess the different characteristics of another older sibling and determine if they are worthy of the level of admiration ascribed to them!" To hay with an athletics competition of dubious probative value, this was a much more scientific way of proving who had the best brother! Twilight was almost giddy. "That's such a good idea Shining Armor. Did you think of it?"
"Uh...Twiley, you're missing the–"
Big Macintosh met his gaze, smiled and shook his head slowly.
He was right. Let them work it out on their own.
Applejack looked to the sky where the sun was already threatening the horizon. The contest had lasted most of the day, and it had achieved exactly nothing. That only served to annoy her even more.
"Come on then, your princeliness. Back to the farmhouse. Big Macintosh's got chores to do this evening, which means now you do instead!"
Big Macintosh opened his mouth to admonish his sister for her rudeness, but now it was Shining Armor's turn to catch his eye, smile and shake his head slowly. Big Mac nodded.
As both brothers were led away they exchanged one final look. A promise, that each would take care of the other's sister as though they were their own, and that they would trust the other to do the same.
---
The walk back to the farmhouse passed in uncomfortable silence. Applejack knew she was being a poor host, but she just couldn't shake the foul mood she found herself in. Shining Armor didn't try to make awkward conversation, and instead simply walked amiably beside her until she deigned to speak.
But Applejack wasn't for speaking. Instead she was thinking.
She had to use this opportunity to prove that Shining Armor wasn't as good a brother as Big Macintosh, and she had to do it in a way that Twilight couldn't ignore. So, she would make a list. She would put Shining Armor, pampered Prince of the Crystal Empire, through an honest days work on the farm. He would do every chore and task that Big Macintosh did day in day out, and for every time he complained that he was too tired, or that his hooves were sore, or that his coat was getting dirty, she'd write it on the list. Then she'd present it as proof that he just didn't measure up. Twilight wouldn't be able to ignore that!
They reached home to the pleasant sounds and rich smells of wholesome home cooking. Applejack led Armor into the kitchen, where Granny Smith was even now beginning to serve up the evening meal while Apple Bloom sat quietly. Noticing the new arrival, the filly smiled and looked at him with bright, curious eyes, while Granny Smith greeted them warmly.
"Well howdy there, Applejack. Who's your new friend?"
Might as well introduce him.
"This here's Shining Armor. Big Mac's gonna be away from the farm for a day or two, and Shining here is gonna take over his chores."
Shining Armor exchanged friendly greetings with the Apple family.
"Yeah, don't get too attached," grumped Applejack under her breath, about to give Shining Armor a list of Big Mac's jobs to get started on.
Apple Bloom, though, had other ideas. "Welcome to the family! C'mon, lemme show ya around!" She leapt to Shining Armor's side, eager to give him the grand tour, and Shining Armor looked at Applejack as though for permission. A pang of anger struck and Applejack was about to emphatically refuse – he was here to work, not get comfortable with the family! – but found she simply couldn't.
Why was she acting like this? Why was she trying to be spiteful to a pony she knew had a good heart?
She looked at Armor with a carefully neutral expression and nodded. He nodded back with a gracious smile, and followed the enthusiastic young filly into the first room on the tour.
"Well, he seems like a real nice feller," Granny Smith said after their exit.
"Yeah. He is," admitted Applejack. Seeing her family welcome Shining Armor into their home had somehow stripped away most of her dour mood. "But he's no Big Macintosh."
Five minutes later, Shining Armor and Apple Bloom returned, both laughing and with delighted smiles. Apple Bloom looked at Applejack with the 'can we keep him?' expression that all young children knew how to perfect.
"So," said Shining Armor to Applejack. "You've got some chores that need doing?"
Applejack sighed. "Nothin' that can't wait till tomorrow. Come and eat up."
---
Big Macintosh hadn't been in the library for more than a minute before he was off and running. Using some kind of sixth sense he immediately noted the loose shelf that needed shoring up, the crack in the wall that needed to be re-sapped, a few obscure nooks and crannies that hadn't been cleaned in a good while – were those food wrappers hidden behind those books? – and the window where the seal had failed, letting in a slight draught.
Then, without any direction, he set about fixing all of them.
Spike was puzzled. Seeing Big Macintosh walk in and just start fixing things was quite surreal, and Twilight had to explain everything that had happened that day, including the temporary brother swap. Then he just shrugged and carried on. Surreal or not, crazier things had happened.
Twilight tried to make conversation as Big Mac worked, eager to begin delving into the mysteries of what apparently made him such a good brother. Try as she might though, she only managed to elicit his standard monosyllabic affirmative and negative responses as he consistently found yet another small job that required attention. Calling it 'talking' would have been generous.
It would have been frustrating if it weren't so confusing. Applejack's judgement was generally sound, but if this was Big Macintosh...if this was all he did, how could she possibly believe he was a better brother than Shining Armor?
After an hour, Spike couldn't take it any more. It really was surreal, and he began to get weirded out. Big Mac's quiet handyman routine was odd enough, but now he had to contend with Twilight's insistent questioning, and her desperate attempts at conversation so she could...well, he didn't even know what she was trying to do. Deciding he needed some fresh air and maybe a walk, he grabbed Shining Armor's saddlebags and left the library, heading for Sweet Apple Acres.
---
Forget the Crystal Empire. With food this good, Shining Armor was going to move Cadence to Ponyville and live on the farm! And it was so refreshing that the Apple family actually knew what a portion was supposed to be – not the two pieces of carrot and some parsley that the palace cooks deemed a meal. No, here his plate was generously piled high with the most delicious, hottest vegetable stew he'd ever had, not to mention warm crusty bread, cheeses, and then a luxurious freshly baked apple pie for dessert.
The fantastic cider didn't hurt either.
And Applejack's family were just wonderful. Granny Smith had some amazing stories, not to mention a sharp wit and a keen eye that belied her years. And Apple Bloom...well, she had a curiosity and enthusiasm that was so similar to his own sister at that age that every time she spoke a fond memory came floating to the surface.
Even Applejack, who'd been standoffish, was coming round. She was still a little cool, but she was at least talking to him now, and she'd even smiled once or twice.
With dinner over, Armor had cleared the table and washed the dishes without being asked. Then with that done, Applejack had invited him into the living room to sit for a spell with the family.
A knock at the door brought them both there first though. Shining Armor opened it and found Spike at the threshold, carrying his large saddlebags with a little difficulty.
"Hey Armor. Heard you were gonna be staying here, so I thought you'd want your stuff."
"Hey, bro. Thanks," he said, levitating the bags out of Spike's arms and settling them comfortably on his own back.
"You could have packed lighter, you know," the dragon admonished.
"Hey, you try travelling without an industrial strength hairdryer," joked Armor. "How's Twiley getting along?"
"It's...a little weird," admitted Spike. "Big Mac came in and started...fixing stuff up. Twilight's trying to talk to him and he's just...fixing. I think it's sending her a little nutty." He glanced furtively at Applejack stood at Shining Armor's side, who smiled a faint, distant smile. "How're you guys doing?"
Shining Armor glanced at Applejack. It seemed more appropriate to let her be the judge of that.
"We're gettin' along okay," she said.
"Oh, good." Spike looked a little anxious. "Look," he said looking at both ponies. "Whatever this is, can you guys just hurry and fix it so we can go back to normal?"
"Promise, Spike," said Applejack. Shining Armor nodded in agreement.
Spike turned as if to leave, prompting Applejack to speak up again. "Don't you wanna come in?"
"Uh...no. No, I think I've had enough weirdness for today. I'm gonna go find Pinkie Pie for something normal to do." And with that he was off, down the dirt track leading towards the street lamps of Ponyville, beneath the clear, cool night sky. They watched him go for a little way before Applejack had to close the door, lest the cosy warmth of the homestead escape into the evening.
"Do you think they'll be okay?" Shining Armor asked after a moment's pause.
"Spike and Pinkie Pie?" asked Applejack. She brought a hoof to her chin as though she genuinely wasn't sure. Literally anything could happen with Pinkie Pie.
"No, I mean my sister and your brother. It doesn't sound like they're getting along so well."
Applejack smiled a knowing smile. "Don't you worry none about them. They’ll be okay."
"Are you sure? I mean, Twiley can be a little...intense sometimes. And your brother...well...he seems kinda quiet."
Applejack's smile only increased and she let out a small chuckle.
"It's funny. Everypony who's met Big Macintosh takes one look and reckons they know everything there is to know about him. A hardworkin' pony, they'll tell ya, but quiet and a little slow in the head." Shining Armor opened his mouth as if to say that he didn't– but Applejack just chuckled again, taking no offense. When she spoke next, it was as though she was letting him in on a secret.
"Folks who know Big Macintosh – and there ain't many can truly say they do – know different. He might be a tad shy, but the main reason he don't talk much, is because he likes to listen. He listens, and he thinks. All the time. Honestly I don't know another pony in the world who does as much thinkin' as that stallion. He's even got books on thinkin'. And yet for all the thinkin' he does, he's never, not once, thought about himself.
"He reads too. A lot. He's always reading, always learning, always thinking, and always listening. That don't leave much time for talkin', so when he does...he says what's important." She faltered for a moment, apparently uncertain whether to continue. When she did, she spoke even more softly, as though she was addressing no-one but herself. "He's always given me good advice, and I wish I could say I've always taken it. But even when I haven't, and I've had to admit he was right, he's never said 'I told you so.'"
She looked up at Armor. "Your sister is the smartest pony I've ever met. But Big Macintosh? He's the wisest."
She paused a moment, allowing her speech pattern to reset to a more normal cadence.
"Big Macintosh and Twi'll get along just fine, you'll see. As for you and me..." Applejack gave Shining Armor a cheeky grin. "Fair warning, your majesty: I'm gonna put you through yer paces tomorrow. I'd get some rest if I were you. You're gonna need it."
Another great chapter, I'm looking forward to seeing how this plays out.
Shit must be off the scale if Pinkie Pie is set as the baseline for "Normal"
This is some excellent characterization.
Now we need a montage of Shiny Teeth doing stuff on the farm
Your should be you're, I think.
3513366
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/7/3/29711.jpg
Normality at it's finest.
No offense AJ but you can't put a military man through his paces even if you try
I like the fact that once Big Mac and Shining Amour met, it was "Friendship at first sight". I even like the fact that they were being fare during the entire competition.
It's sad... But the fact that he turns to PINKIE for normality.... It's like turning to Discord if you want to be given a set of rules for a game. *shudder*
Just a reminder, Shining Armor's taken.
3513427
"Shiny Teeth" ? Care to elaborate on that one? Hehe
Brace yourself for the lolz.
I laughed when Spike said he was going to Pinkie for something normal. Great chapter.
AJ, Shining was Captain of the Guard. I doubt you can top anything he experienced during training. Count on Big Mac out smarting Twilight.
Wow, Spike must think things have gone really weird to go to Pinkie for normalcy.
This is perfect!
For a second, I was worried this was only going to be three chapters long and the competition was going to be the only thing that would prove who the better brother is. Glad I'm wrong.
Let the real Shenanigans begin!
Big Mac has officially entered (insert dramatic sting here) the TWILIGHT ZONE!!!!!!
3510588
Oh, is that what the title means? Well then this should be interesting... tomorrow, for now I sleep. zzzzzzz
Looks like Big Mac has a few ranks in Cleric.
Let the Cure Light Wounds casting begin... on the friend's relationships.
3513490>>3513606
Oh sure, because the concepts of rising early, strict regimentation, and hard physical labor are completely alien to a preindustrial farmer.
There's a reason farmboys used to run off to become soldiers and boredom was only half of it.
3514029 no no what I'm saying is that she's going to have a hard time puting him through his rounds because he's in the military
3513536
When I first heard Shining Armor, this popped into my head
3514036
Ah... Chip Skylark... *Hand on hearts* Bless this show... Hehe.
Maybe SA and BM should have just ignored the contest and gone to a bar or something
3510045
The penny finally dropping for Twilight is going to be priceless.
3510588
Ah, so that's what it stands for. I had guessed that the B.R. was Bragging Rights.
3513520
.
Calvinball, anyone?
3513366
Sure on any regular day Pinkie's "normal" is anypony else's zany antics.
But right now both Twilight and AJ are both off the deep end.
And when you compare Lesson Zero, Applebuck Season, and Party of One - which pony did the least harm to Ponyville while insane?
3514250
By Joe I think he's got it!
I really like this story. I'm eager to see the next part.
'Pinkie Pie' and 'normal' should never be in the same sentence together
Yes...
Come on...
Oh boy, here it comes...
Now just lean over and...
DOWNVOTE and UNFAVORITE!!
Ahem. This is wonderful and I eagerly await the next chapter.
3513453
Yes. Yes it should. Fix'd. Thank you.
Also that picture is going to give me nightmares. So thanks for that too. ;-)
3514250
When you put it like that
Our little ponies are quite mental, aren't they?
Can't wait for the next chapter. Great story
3513522
But Macintosh ain't...
The disconnect between AJ's view of family honor, Mac's view of it, and AJ's view of Mac's view of it, so wonderful.
I like that Shining is doing so well in the competition despite not using any magic. Those years of Royal Guard duty weren't so long ago, after all.
I love this plan and everything about it.
You know something is wrong when Pinkie is the normal alternative.
3514032
The problem there is that hard manual labour is a different beast to military training, they often deal with different muscles and even the most physically fit soldier won't have an advantage if the muscles being used are different to those they built up through training.
For instance, there ain't a whole lot of running in manual labour, I myself mostly had to carry heavy loads slowly over short distances many, many times. While digging holes I've had to break rocks that happen to be underground, which can take a while to do with a chisel bar, which is a long steel bar about 1.8 to 2 metres long with a chisel end and a flat end you can hit with a mallet, mostly just raise it then force it down, can take hours if the rock is hard and/or big enough, and there is the aforementioned digging of a lot of holes. I was working putting fencing in for a large property, involved a lot of hole digging, cement carrying, mixing and shoveling, and finally rock breaking.
The fact remains that while general fitness is something that helps, the proper muscles are required to do the job and do it well.
3513522 Dammit.
Oh well, still top notch writing.
3514359
"Pinkie Pie isn't exactly what you'd call 'normal'"
Acceptable?
3514645 Twilight's off limits. The Princess sees all.
Raoh is best big brother.
There we go, contest over.
THis story reads like an actual episode. I can see it playing in my head.
That's excellent. Now, get back to writin'!
3514645
Neither is Pinkie Pie...
??
3514895 Most military training has you hike with full gear on and assuming this is in an era where Equestria's army is basically like a roman legion they'd have to dig and do all sorts of manual labor to build bases and such. THe point is is that alot of what you would do on a farm such as breaking rocks and digging would be done by a soldier even now, my cousin was in the marines and he told me about how he had to dig holes and move rocks out of the way and other such things and how he had to hike across the arizona desert with 3 gallons of water in full gear, So i'm not saying that farm work is easy I should know since i've done farm work as well, but it still can't compare to some of the training a soldier would go through
Check this out!
http://askbigredmacintosh.tumblr.com/post/67533112664/a-friendly-discussion-about-the-best-big-brother
I can't even... Perfect unintentional fanart/cover-art or what?
3514250
Why, the one who caused the least damage was... Pinkie... Pie...
What the hell did I just realise?
3515469
I will concede that the digging of latrines and the building of bases is similar in some respects but the travelling of long distances in full gear has very little in common with farm work. Your opinion on the difficulty of military training is interesting, because my understanding is that a core part of the training is purely psychological, designed to strengthen your mind more than body. From my understanding, aside from the psychological aspects, the training mostly focuses on endurance rather than strength, and while that is helpful the fact remains that a soldier, while trained, is still a biological being that can't overuse a muscle without causing harm to ones-self.
The standard requirement for manual labour is continuing until the constant activity is made easier by the development of the particular muscles used. Your assertion that a lot of what is done on a farm is also done in the military is quite inaccurate as being in the military does not involve: picking, shearing, herding, fertilsing, plowing, tilling, seeding, milking, animal grooming, animal feeding, animal midwifery. These are things that are done on a farm and depending on time of year, nature of the farm (cattle rearing or crop growing or both), size of the property and what crops, you could be doing most of these things in a single day. There is also general upkeep and maintenance as well as some construction that sometimes occurs but those are hardly daily occurrences.
3515937 touche good sir
This is my favorite depiction of Big Mac I've ever read. It just makes so much sense; no stupid grimdark "deeply disturbed" Mac, overly shy (stupid FlutterMac), or just a boneheaded stupid Macintosh. I really hope the show does an episode on him.
3515861
Don't feel bad I pretty much realized it as I was writing it.
Arguably it just means Pinkie Pie has a narrower range of sanity than the rest of the Main Six. So both while her high point is a best somewhere close to "normal", her low point isn't nearly as bad as the others.
EDIT: Except for Rarity, who has yet to have a real freak out. Though I seriously doubt she'll prove an exception once she does.