18
*Setup*
No matter what medical or scientific method may be employed, it is impossible for ponies to distinguish whether or not a specific pony has the eye power of a god of death. Even other gods of death cannot distinguish this fact.
Fluttershy’s imprisonment, day 2
Colgate woke up early that morning, even for her. She recalled that she’d been dreaming, but within moments of awakening the details of her fantasy world were stripped away from her, leaving the unicorn in a muddled and blissful haze. She tried to return to sleep but couldn’t, her already confused biological clock apparently throwing up its hooves in exasperation and giving up. It was nearly an hour before she realized she was lying in the darkness with her eyes open.
Thoughts came, unbidden. Where can we go from here? the blue mare wondered. When all this is over, can I really go back? She frowned and pulled her pillow over her head, but the thoughts continued. Everyone else has something to go back to. After Kira’s caught, L and Bon Bon will just go off on some other adventure. Jazz can go back to his life in Canterlot, Derpy can go back to her family, and Spike and Rainbow Dash still have their friends. Linky... She struggled for a moment. She has a coltfriend, right? She still has a life together with him to look forward to. But what do I have? After all this spying, kidnapping, torture... can I really go back to the way things were before?
Colgate groaned. She clenched her eyes shut and tried to regulate her breathing, desperately searching for the sweet oblivion of sleep. It was no use. All her thoughts, all her memories, it was all leading back to just one, inevitable conclusion.
I can’t do this any more.
It wasn’t a matter of right or wrong. She physically could not do this any more. Her stress levels had been running at maximum for several days too many, and it was starting to take its toll. She felt burnt out from the inside, both physically and emotionally. I need a vacation, she decided. Just for a few days. Just to get my head together. Around now, when L doesn’t need me so much. I’m sure she’ll understand. She does understand pony psychology, even if... Colgate laughed a little. Even if she doesn’t experience it herself.
The more she considered it, the more her confidence grew. “I’ll ask her right now,” Colgate whispered aloud. She crawled out from under her covers and stretched, yawning loudly. “It’s simple,” she continued, mostly to reassure herself. “I’ll just ask. It won’t hurt to ask.” She pushed open the door and stepped out into the hallway, trying to keep her hoofsteps as quiet as possible. Maybe my mother was right, she thought bitterly. I should have been a dentist after all.
The blue pony entered the main chamber to the sounds of wood striking wood. Though the lights had been dimmed, the room was fully illuminated by pulses and flashes from the crystals buried within the central abacus. Beads and levers shifted of their own accord, changing positions several times a second to create the clattering and tumultuous noise. Jazz stood by the machine’s side, staring up at it with a wistful expression. Colgate approached him cautiously. “What’s going on?” she asked over the noise.
The older unicorn glanced in her direction. “Minty is connecting to the central abacus in Canterlot,” he explained. “All relevant public records are being updated and copied to here. Of course, for security reasons, all files related to Kira must be entered manually.”
Colgate looked up at the wooden structure with a new sense of awe. “This happens every night?” she asked. Jazz nodded. “Don’t you ever sleep?”
“I sleep when Minty sleeps.” The grey pony reached out a leg and stroked the corner of the machine, keeping his hoof well away from the shifting beads. “The process takes less than an hour. After that, we can both return to our rest.”
The blue pony nodded and carried on her way to the L’s corner. As she passed around the abacus, however, she could immediately see that something had changed. The rows of screens were still alight with images of the restrained Fluttershy from various angles, but the pony who watched over them was sitting normally instead of in L’s slanted posture. Puzzled, she crossed over to the chair to discover a blue earth pony occupying the detective’s chair. “Linky?” Colgate asked in surprise. “Weren’t you watching Fluttershy’s cottage?”
The seated mare glanced her way, her eyes half-open. “Couldn’t sleep,” she mumbled. “Too much noise.” Both ponies looked at the still-whirring abacus. “Couldn’t sleep here either,” Locket added with a chuckle. “Same reason, I guess.”
Colgate gave a sympathetic nod. “Where’s L?”
“Sleeping. If she sleeps. Maybe she’s just stuffing her face again.” The earth pony let out a hollow laugh. They stared at the bound pegasus for a few seconds in silence. “Colgate?” Locket whispered, barely audible over the sounds of the abacus. “Thanks for being here.”
Colgate gulped. “Why?”
“We wouldn’t be able to do this without you.”
The policemare smiled gratefully, but inwardly winced. Tomorrow, she decided. I’ll ask for time off tomorrow. Feigning interest, she leaned over the desk and examined the notes in front of the screens. After pages of L’s unintelligible scribbles, as well as a few notes which literally read “Unintelligible”, Locket had ended the report with five extremely brief lines.
00:12 - “No.”
00:15 - “I don’t want to.”
00:21 - “No.”
00:22 - “No.”
00:24 - “Okay.”
---
A dull throbbing echoed through Twilight Sparkle’s head. She stretched feebly and tried to rub her eyes, her legs scraping on the hard surface beneath her. With a grunted effort she lifted her front off the floor and looked around. She was lying beside her desk, apparently having fallen from her chair sometime during the night; she imagined it had been pure exhaustion that kept her from waking. Sunlight streamed through the still-open window, hurting her bloodshot eyes. And the pounding continued - not only inside her head, but at her bedroom door. A brash voice added to the noise. “Twilight? You in there?”
Instantly the unicorn was on her hooves. “Just a minute!” she called. Stupid, stupid, stupid... In a flurry of magic she slammed shut the books left carelessly open on her desk and threw the Death Note into a drawer. She struggled momentarily with the far larger book of justice records, then in her panic simply pushed it out of view beneath the desk. She ran a brush through her mane to make herself a little more presentable, only for it to hit a knot and get stuck. Giving up, she left the implement where it was and scrambled back to the door, unlocking and throwing it open with a single toss of her head. She smiled weakly. “Good morning,” she mumbled.
Rainbow Dash stared. Then she smiled. A small chuckle broke out of her, then another, rapidly growing louder until the pegasus fell onto her side and howled with laughter. Twilight stood patiently, her exhausted mind not fully comprehending what was happening. Then, in bits and pieces, she gradually became aware of the handle of her hairbrush at the corner of her vision. Realization dawning, she took a step back and turned to a mirror on a nearby wall.
Bathed in the light of day, Twilight was no longer a threatening sight. Instead she simply looked... well, messy. Her eyes were gummed and squinted from her sudden awakening, freezing her face in a perpetually confused expression, and a thick layer of drool had darkened one side of her cheek and neck. And her mane... oh, her mane! Half was stringy and plastered to the side of her head where she’d lain, while the other side stuck up, tangled and knotted, in every direction. Dividing the two, her favorite hairbrush was stuck right in the thick of it, jutting out at an absurd angle.
Twilight blinked. She stared a second longer, to make sure that this was really her that she was looking at, then turned back to her hysterical friend. Her cheeks reddened as Rainbow Dash’s laughter rang in her ears. Then, unexpectedly, she began to smile. Her eyes landed once again on the handle of her hairbrush, still caught in the tangles and folds of her mane, and she let out a giggle as well. Then, like a dam being blown into pieces, she let out a similar howl of laughter to the one that was possessing her friend. The pair built off each other and within seconds both of them were on the floor, laughing with relief and at the absurdity of it, feeling a flood of tension drain out of them both.
After nearly a minute of this, the multi-hued pegasus was the first to calm down. “Oh, wow,” she chuckled, shaking her head. “Twilight, it’s, like, two-thirty!”
“That late?” Twilight laughed, shaking her head happily. “I can’t believe it. I really let myself go for a while there. I think...” She paused, brushing a tear from her eye as she got to her hooves. “I think we both needed that just now.”
“Yeah.” Standing up as well, Rainbow Dash lifted up the small bag by her side with her wing. “I brought sandwiches. I guess you haven’t had lunch yet.”
“No, I...” Twilight paused. For what seemed like the first time in weeks, the unicorn reflected on the state of her body, and countless days of skipped meals and half-hearted cooking returned to her all at once. Glad to finally be noticed, her stomach roared impatiently. “I’m starving,” she admitted, and burst into another fit of giggles that Rainbow Dash wasn’t quite able to follow. “Thank you so much for this.”
“Hey, anything for a friend.” Twilight took a step forward, and ended up leaning on her friend as they started down the stairs. Rainbow Dash steadied her, her smile slipping into a more gentle look of concern. “Are you gonna be okay, Twilight?”
“I’m fine.” The unicorn nodded, resting her head against her friend’s shoulder. “I was in a rough place back there, but I think things are starting to look up.”
---
While the meal was less inspired than what she was used to, Twilight ended up eating far more than her share of lunch. Byuk had reappeared shortly after the pair had emerged downstairs, but after discreetly snatching half a sandwich he seemed content to drift lazily overhead. Once they were finished, the two ponies spent ten unsuccessful minutes trying to get the brush out of Twilight’s mane, eventually giving up and retreating to the bathroom. Rainbow Dash helped Twilight run a bath, then waited patiently in the front room while the unicorn tried to make herself presentable.
Finally starting to feel refreshed again, Twilight left the bathroom to discover Rainbow Dash reclining on the library stairs with a book. Upon closer inspection, the choice of reading material wasn’t one of the pegasus’ treasured adventure novels, but a textbook of advanced physics. “Well, there’s something I never thought I’d see,” the unicorn teased as she approached. “Why the sudden interest in science?”
Rainbow Dash turned a page, frowning. “Jazz said I have to learn some number theory before I can use the abacus properly, whatever that means. I figured this might help. I don’t get what all the fuss is about, though. I mean, numbers are numbers, right?” She squinted at the page in front of her. “I think I’m in the wrong section, though. What’s a quark?”
Twilight smiled, suppressing a laugh. “Did you just pick up the first book on mathematics that you found?”
“Well, yeah. Why, aren’t numbers all the same everywhere?”
With a slight giggle, the unicorn reached out and gently closed the textbook. “Maybe we should get you started on something a little closer to your field.”
---
And then, just like that, it was three hours later.
After amassing a large stack of books about numbers and counting machines, the two mares had lain down on a pile of cushions in the library’s center. Twilight had at first tried to talk Rainbow Dash through one of Spike’s old textbooks, but the pegasus had brushed her off, saying that she preferred to work things out on her own. Dash then chattered while she read, which Twilight doubted was conductive to learning. She sat close by with a book of her own, idly listening to her friend’s voice and answering questions when they came up. “Do you think the Wonderbolts have to know all this stuff?” Rainbow Dash was currently saying, skimming through a chapter on data sorting. “I mean, there’s tons of math involved in flying. Air speed and velocity and acceleration and all that stuff. But do they have to know it? I do all sorts of crazy stuff when I fly, but I don’t think about the math of what I’m doing. I just do it. One time, I went into a spiral so long...”
Twilight smiled faintly. Her eyes drifted over the pages in front of her, not really taking in the words as she read them. Something in the back of her mind screamed that she should be thinking about Fluttershy and the Death Note, but it seemed a lot quieter than it had been the day before. This is... nice, she realized. How long has it been since I’ve been able to just sit like this with a friend? She allowed herself a small sigh of contentment. I wonder if we’ll still be able to have moments like these... when all this is over...
Suddenly, a gasp sounded from overhead. A deep voice rumbled. “Uh-oh.”
Twilight looked up in time to catch Byuk vanishing through the nearest wall. She turned the other way. Mer was floating into the room from the other side, a deep scowl on her face. The pale god landed and stomped her way over to the two ponies, her bizarre hooves making metallic clanging noises on the floorboards. She came to a halt in front of Twilight Sparkle, bending down to stare into the frightened mare’s eyes. “Where is the Death Note?” she hissed.
What? Twilight held her breath and tried not to move, keenly aware of the presence of the pegasus just a few feet away. Rainbow Dash continued to chatter, unaware of the shinigami’s presence or her friend’s sudden panic. What is she doing here? Twilight wondered, gulping silently. I thought she was supposed to stay with Fluttershy. With a small nod of her head, the unicorn gestured to Rainbow Dash and smiled weakly.
“...a perfect circle. The kids I asked said they couldn’t see because the sun was in their eyes, but that’s kind of a success, right? But then Cheerilee told me...”
Mer turned towards Rainbow Dash and then stared a few seconds before comprehending. “Fine,” she muttered, backing away. She took to the air again and folded her forelegs in front of her. “Make her leave, or I will make her leave.”
A familiar tension gripped Twilight’s body. She squeezed her eyes shut and fought to control her breathing, doing her best to keep an outwardly calm appearance. Bad, bad bad! ...Okay, stay calm, Twilight, she told herself. I can do this. I’ve been in worse situations. I just have to tell one of my best friends to leave in the middle of a study session without being weird about it... oh, shoot! She looked towards her friend and tried to smile. The pegasus kept reading, too engrossed in her story to notice her friend’s discomfort.
“...and I said, ‘What are friends for?’ But I guess she thought I was talking about something different, ‘cause she tried to ask me out to dinner right after. Can you believe that? It came totally out of left field! I mean, less than a month ago I heard Sassaflash was-”
Mer mimed tapping her hoof. Twilight gulped. “Rainbow Dash,” she said, cutting the pegasus off. “Why are you here?”
“Huh?” Breaking out of both her chatter and her reading, the pegasus didn’t immediately understand the question. “What do you mean?”
“Well, it wasn’t for the books,” Twilight continued. “If you’re going to get better you need focused study and practice. But instead, you’ve spent the afternoon talking to me.”
“Well, yeah.” Rainbow Dash put her head to one side, looking slightly offended. “So what? What’s wrong with friends wanting to hang out?”
Twilight clenched her teeth. I’m talking myself into a corner, she realized. Please, Dash, your life is in danger! “Under normal circumstances, nothing,” Twilight stalled. “But...” In desperation, she said the first thing that popped into her head. “Did you come here because L asked you to?”
Rainbow Dash started to respond, then hesitated. “Well...” she said, a little more slowly. “She did mention that she thought you were taking Fluttershy getting... I mean... that you were taking things pretty hard.”
Inwardly, the unicorn smiled. Jackpot. “That’s strange,” she improvised, thinking on her hooves. “She said something similar to me about you.”
“What?” Dash’s brow furrowed. “Why me? I mean, I’m not happy about it, but I’m not...”
“Exactly.” Twilight lowered her head and leaned forward conspiratorially. “Dash, I don’t think it’s our welfare that L’s concerned with. Doesn’t it seem like she doesn’t trust either of us to be on our own?”
The pegasus’ lip quivered. “Why wouldn’t she trust us?” she said, starting to sound hurt.
At her friend’s tone, a pang of guilt shot across Twilight’s heart. “You shouldn’t take it personally, Dash,” she said quickly. “I don’t think L trusts anypony. It’s her job not to. But if she went far enough to hide cameras in my bedroom, I don’t know what else she’s capable of.” Have to end this fast. “You never know, Dash. Maybe she wanted you to come over here so she could safely search your house.”
As this sank in, the pegasus quickly tried to hide a blush. “I... I should go,” she said, jerkily standing up. “I have stuff to do.”
“I understand.” Reaching out with her magic, Twilight pulled a book bag from a nearby shelf and quickly selected two books to put inside it. “Here you go,” she said, standing up and placing the strap over Dash’s neck. “These should keep you going for a while.”
“Thanks, Twilight.” Looking a little jittery, the pegasus made her way to the door and stepped outside. “I’ll see you around sometime.”
“Rainbow Dash?” The pegasus looked back. Twilight smiled sincerely. “Thanks for being here.”
With a final nod, the multi-hued pony spread her wings and rocketed off into the sky. Twilight watched her leave, an uncomfortable sense of guilt washing through her. We’ll do this again sometime, Dash. I promise.
“A pointless display,” Mer said as soon as the pegasus was out of sight. “You should have simply told her to leave.”
“Hey! Just... just give me a second, okay?” Twilight closed the door, then sat down and rubbed her eyes. “Even if suspicion wasn’t an issue, you’ve already taken one friend from me. I’m not letting you make me lose another.” She snorted softly. “I guess I couldn’t expect you to understand that.”
A pair of hooves slammed down on either side of her, making the unicorn jump. Mer snorted frostily into the mare’s face. “Twilight Sparkle, I am not in the mood for games. I am going to retrieve what is rightfully mine. Either you will tell me where it is, or I will tear this building apart looking for it. For your sake, do not make this difficult for either of us.”
There was a pause. Slowly, Twilight raised her head. Instead of the fear she had been expecting, however, the god saw only cold fury. "How dare you," Twilight hissed. "How dare you say that. You come into my home, threaten my friend, demand something that isn't yours, and then you have the nerve to try to intimidate me? Well let me tell you something, Mer. I've spent years staring down monsters a lot more frightening than you. I've banished and killed creatures for a lot less than what you've done. So don't try to push me around, because I have as much power over you as you have over me. After all..." She grinned wickedly. "It's not as if I need Fluttershy alive."
Mer growled, then hesitated. "You wouldn't."
Twilight tossed her mane. "Why not? If you're going to threaten me, I might as well do the same to you. Try to threaten me or my friends again, and I'll write Fluttershy's name in my Death Note even if it's the last thing I do."
The pair glared at each other for a few seconds longer. Finally, Mer broke her gaze and turned away. When she spoke again, her voice was softer and without malice. "It doesn't matter any more," she muttered. "We no longer have reason to quarrel. Fluttershy has given up ownership of the Death Note."
The unicorn's eyes widened. "Really?"
"Yes." The god nodded sadly. "I convinced her to do it. She turned down my offers to free her; perhaps she believed any evidence of her powers would bring suspicion back to you. She forced herself to wait, in pain, wishing death upon herself. This... is not what I intended. Giving up her identity is preferable to this.” She held up a hoof as Twilight opened her mouth, cutting off the unicorn’s questions. “She remembers nothing. All of her murders, the existence of myself or the Death Notes, even your identity as Kira... all of it has vanished from her mind." Her face contorted in a grimace. "All that remains is the love that she projected onto you. That is something the Death Note cannot change. Without that, I would not have been able to talk her into it."
Twilight bit her lip, staring thoughtfully at the ceiling. "She gave up her memory of being the second Kira... for me?" This... this changes everything!
"Unfortunately." Mer sighed. "Have you touched Geldus' Death Note since last night?"
"Um..." Twilight blinked through her memories of last night and that morning. "I don't think so. I only used mine."
"Then the Note is unclaimed. Good." The bony shinigami settled herself on the ground again. "You were right, Twilight Sparkle. I should not have brought the Note into this world. You ponies are not ready to bear its power. It will only bring you pain." She sighed. "Now tell me where you have hidden it, so that I can return it to the King of Death. As I should have done from the beginning."
"Wait." Twilight began to smile, still chewing thoughtfully on her lip. Her thoughts of L and the Death Note, previously subdued, were now dancing with new possibilities. Plan Epsilon. I always thought it was too risky, leaving too much to chance. But with Mer and a second Death Note, maybe, just maybe... "Fluttershy's memories... are they gone forever?"
Mer snorted. "Do not think that you can outwit us, Twilight Sparkle," she said, some of the temper starting to return to her voice. "Your pony psychology will do you no good. Her memories are not sealed away within her mind, waiting to be unlocked. The Death Note has carried them away, as if they never were. Unless she gains ownership of another Death Note, her knowledge of these events will never return. And I will ensure that that will never happen." She rose into the air again, talons starting to extend from her hooves. "Now do not waste any more of my time. Lead me to the Note so that we may put this painful business behind us."
"Hang on a minute." Twilight looked up at Mer and smiled, both with relief and something else the god didn't recognize. "I can save Fluttershy. But I'll need your help."
Mer's eyes narrowed. "This is another trick," she said. "If you had a means of saving Fluttershy, you would have done so already. Now that she has been released, she will be safe."
"No." Twilight shook her head. "L won't be pacified that easily. Fluttershy’s memories of being the second Kira may have vanished, but the evidence against her hasn’t. Now that L has her in her hooves, she'll keep her locked up and never let her go. But there's a way to save her," she added hastily as Mer's scowl deepened. "We can still make it out of this. But it's going to take both of us working together. All I need is Geldus' Death Note, for just a little longer." She stared into the shinigami's eyes with her most determined expression. Slowly, she raised a hoof out towards her. "Will you help me?"
The god stared, not comprehending the gesture at first. Then she lowered herself to the ground and stepped forward, tentatively bumping hooves with Twilight. Her touch sent a tingling coldness down the unicorn's entire leg. "What is your plan?" she asked.
"Um..." Twilight closed her eyes. Concepts and timelines were still spinning in her head, the implications of Fluttershy's sacrifice still echoing through her. "Give me a few hours," she said. "I have a lot of preparing to do. Meet me at sunset in the woods near Fluttershy's cottage. I'll have the details worked out by then."
"...Fine." Mer rose up and spread her wings. "I will hear your plan then. But if you do not arrive..."
"I will. I promise."
"Promise?" Mer mouthed the word to herself a few times before turning away. "A word for fools and ponies. I do not trust you, Twilight Sparkle. Do not think that this changes that." With a wide sweep of her wings, the god vanished through the library wall and soared away into the sky.
Once the otherworldly wingbeats had faded, Twilight released the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. She sank to the floor, pressing her hooves against her temples. “Okay, Twilight, think!” she instructed herself. “I have a new plan. I have until sundown to make it airtight. I just have to make sure this makes sense...”
---
“I don’t get it.”
Twilight rolled her eyes, unintentionally causing her spade to spin in midair. “It’s not important that you understand right now,” she said to Byuk, righting the implement and continuing to dig. She squinted in the fading light at the hole she’d made near the base of a large tree, trying to measure depth. A large bag lay by her side, containing both her own Death Note and the enchanted police records book. “Just let me finish this quickly. Even this close to the border, the Everfree can be very dangerous once it gets dark.”
Byuk scratched his head in confusion. He looked around warily at the forest surrounding them. The clearing they were in was barely large enough for the pony and the two gods to stand together; it had taken a lot of coaxing from Twilight to convince the dark god to stay with her. The ground was littered with tiny, tooth-shaped stones, which the unicorn had to step around as she worked. Through the treeline he could barely make out the lights of Fluttershy’s cottage. Somepony was evidently living there in Fluttershy’s absence, which was why Twilight had insisted they take the long way around.
Mer floated nearby, not looking at either of the others. A thick stack of papers was clutched in one of her hooves, Geldus’ Death Note on the ground in front of her. She spoke quietly. “And if I do as you have asked, Fluttershy will be safe?”
“For the last time, yes,” Twilight snapped. She turned to face the pale god. “Is that so hard to believe?”
Mer frowned. “I do not understand your plan,” she muttered. “This will put you in great danger. I cannot believe that it is as simple as you claim.”
“That’s because I have something you don’t, Mer.” The unicorn smiled, almost sympathetically. “I have faith in my friends.”
The trio stood in silence for a few seconds before Mer sighed. “If you say so,” she grunted. “Then return the Note to me, and we can part ways.”
With precise deliberateness, Twilight bent down and picked up the Death Note in her mouth. She raised it up towards the pale shinigami, who carefully took it with her free hoof. Twilight cleared her throat and spoke. “I relinquish ownership of this Death Note.”
Something shifted. There was no fade out, nor even a blinking out of existence. The moment the last syllable left her mouth, Twilight’s view of Mer changed. It was like the sensation of staring at an image for twenty minutes and only then seeing the frightening face concealed within, but in reverse, and just like that Mer could no longer be seen. For a second the stack of papers and the Death Note hung unsupported in the air, side by side. Then those vanished as well, and with the faintest movement of icy air the shinigami was gone.
“Finally,” Byuk said before Twilight had fully recovered. “I’m not sorry to see the back of her, I can tell you.”
Twilight closed her eyes and concentrated. “I can remember her,” she said at length. “I can’t see her, but I can remember her. At least, I think I can. It looks like my hunch was right. So long as I own at least one Death Note, I keep my memories of all of them.”
“That sounds about right,” Byuk confirmed. “But that makes what you’re doing here make even less sense.” He gestured to the bag and the hole in the ground. “Why are you trying to get rid of your Death Note? You won’t be able to use it if it’s buried.”
“I’m not getting rid of it,” she reassured him, picking up her spade again. “This is just to keep it safe for now. When I want to give up ownership, I’ll use the words ‘throw away.’”
“That’s a little disrespectful,” Byuk mumbled.
“No, Byuk. Listen carefully.” Twilight faced the god and stared into his eyes. “When I want to give up ownership of the Death Note,” she repeated clearly, “I’ll use the words ‘throw away.’ Can you remember that?”
The shinigami’s mouth moved silently. Then, realization dawning, he smiled. “I think so,” he said conspiratorially, nodding. “So all this is...”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Byuk,” Twilight teased, continuing to dig. “If it was that simple, it wouldn’t have taken somepony like me to think of it.”
---
Fluttershy’s imprisonment, day 3
"Colgate!"
The shout echoed down the corridors of the base, only arriving faintly at the ears of the policemare. She slouched sleepily in the kitchen, nursing the cup of coffee that was her breakfast. Slowly she started to look up, uncertain if she'd heard anything. As the distant voice repeated itself, she brightened up a little and shouted back. "What is it?"
"Fluttershy is talking."
In an instant Colgate was on her hooves. She ran down the corridor, coffee forgotten, and skidded to a halt as she entered the main chamber. The detective was hunched in front of the screens showing Fluttershy's chamber, one hoof resting on the buttons of her microphone, the other wrapped around a cup of artificially-flavored slush. Despite the early hour, Spike and Derpy had also responded to the call and were already standing behind her, the dragon resting on the pegasus’ back so he could see. L didn't react as Colgate leaped into a chair beside her and stared intently at the screens. "What did she say?" the blue pony asked.
"She asked for a drink of water," L replied. "I am waiting to see if she will do it again."
Colgate gaped at her. "You mean you didn't..."
"Of course I sent her a drink," L sighed. "Bon Bon will be arriving with it shortly."
Just as the detective finished speaking, the door in Fluttershy's room swung open and a black-clad pony entered with a bowl. She held it up in front of Fluttershy's face. The bound mare lapped at it cautiously at first, then strained forward and drank deeply. Bon Bon lifted the bowl up to help her drink, then took it away when she was finished. "Thank you," the pegasus said weakly. "I was very thirsty."
L pressed a button on her microphone. "Miss Fluttershy," she said, her artificial voice filling up the tiny room. "Are you ready to talk to us now?"
Fluttershy automatically tried to look around, lowering her head as far as she could and swiveling her ears. When she failed to locate the source of the sound, she whimpered a little and started to speak. "Yes," she mumbled. "I'll tell you anything. Please, I just want to go home."
"Fluttershy, do you know why you are here?"
Amazingly, the bound pony's voice became even smaller. "Yes."
L raised her eyebrows, though the rest of her face remained motionless. "Why is that?"
"Because..." Fluttershy squirmed a little in her bonds. Her breathing changed again, becoming a little more forced, as though she were about to burst into tears. "Please, mister police pony. I don't know how it happened, I just don't!"
Colgate glanced at L, puzzled. When L did not return the gesture she turned to Derpy, who looked back at her with an even more confused expression. "Just answer the question, miss Fluttershy," L continued, ignoring them both.
"Because of... Photo Finish."
Colgate covered the end of the microphone with her hoof. She opened her mouth to comment, but Spike beat her to it. "Photo Finish?" he asked L. "The photographer? What's she got to do with this?"
"On the surface, nothing," L replied. "Photo Finish disappeared from her home in Canterlot several weeks ago and has not been sighted since. A missing pony's case was filed shortly after, but as Photo Finish is prone to sudden disappearances, it was not widely covered."
Colgate stared. "How do you know about this?"
"It's my job to keep track of crime, Colgate. All crime. And unlike you, I have no jurisdiction. Speaking of which..." L gently removed Colgate's hoof from the microphone. "Miss Fluttershy, where do you think that you are?"
"In a police station in Canterlot. Where else would I be?" Fluttershy sniffed. “Please, mister police pony. My animal friends need me, and my friends will wonder where I am...”
Colgate wrinkled up her nose. “Is this seriously what she thinks police stations are like?”
“This is the only mare I know who’s literally afraid of her own shadow,” Spike answered her. “So probably, yeah.”
L looked upwards thoughtfully, then spoke into the microphone again. “Miss Fluttershy. When you were first brought here, you screamed and begged for us to kill you. Then you stayed silent for a full day. Now, you wish to talk. Can you explain this?”
“I was scared,” Fluttershy freely admitted. “I didn’t know what was going on at first. And I thought that if I said something when I wasn’t supposed to, you might... punish me...” She visibly turned pale at the thought.
Colgate covered the microphone again, her face twisted in irritation. “That’s insulting,” she hissed. “And that can’t just be normal paranoia. Who’s been feeding her stories about the Guard?”
Everypony looked at Spike, who shrugged. “How should I know?” he said. “I don’t know anypony who’s been in prison.” Beneath him, Derpy started to speak, then seemed to think better of it.
A loud knocking echoed through the chamber, which caused the grey pegasus to instantly perk up. “The door bell!” she cried excitedly, turning on the spot and galloping towards the entrance. Spike protested loudly as he was carried off, having to grab handfuls of her mane to keep from being thrown from her back. Derpy screeched to a halt and peered at the little stratoscreen set into the wall by the main door. From the grove of trees above them, a hidden camera beamed down the image of two ponies huddled nervously by the trapdoor. “It’s Twilight and Rainbow Dash!” Derpy yelled back towards L. “Can I let them in?”
L paused for only a second before leaning towards her microphone again. “Miss Fluttershy, a meal is being prepared for you. We will continue this conversation after you have eaten.”
Taking that as her cue, Bon Bon rose to leave the room. Fluttershy broke into a fraction of a relieved smile. “Thank you,” she breathed.
With a flick of her hooves L turned off her microphone, then pressed a button on the main stratoscreen that turned all the screens on the desk blank. “Let them in,” she called towards Derpy. As the pegasus opened the trapdoor, L took a long, slow sip from her cup and swallowed loudly. She turned to Colgate, her voice dropping. “Fluttershy’s behavior concerns me,” she said quietly. “Her actions do not make sense.”
Colgate resisted the urge to scowl. “She’s a trapped and terrified pony. What were you expecting?”
“Something more consistent.” L frowned, her brow furrowed in thought. “During her first day of captivity, Fluttershy would not stop crying and talking to herself. She seemed fully aware of the severity of the situation then. But during her second day she was virtually catatonic, and it’s only now that she’s built up the courage to even ask for water. Why?” L took another sip of her drink, for once looking directly at Colgate. “How can she be naive enough to think that feigning ignorance will work, yet committed enough to take it to this extreme?”
While the two unicorns pondered this, the great iron doors creaked open. At first, nopony emerged. Then, with a slight nudge from Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle shuffled her way into the base. She kept her head bowed, not looking anypony in the eye. Rainbow Dash followed, sticking close behind her and looking nervously back and forth. When she reached the stand where the abacus stood, Twilight stopped. Trembling like a foal with her hoof caught in the cookie jar, she raised her eyes towards L. “Hi, everypony,” she said quietly.
“Twilight Sparkle.” L’s voice was louder than usual, but there was no anger in it, only curiosity. “I specifically asked you to stay away from the base. I assume you have good reason for not complying with my request.”
“Y-yeah.” Slowly, Twilight turned her head to take in the other ponies and dragon in the room. “L. Colgate. Derpy. Spike. I’m here because...” She choked. “Because...”
“You can do it, Twilight.” Rainbow Dash spoke softly, but firmly. “I’m here for you. Just tell them what you told me.”
Twilight nodded. She steadied herself and stared at the ground. After several deep breaths, she spoke.
“I’m here because... I might be Kira.”
---
Dear Princess Celestia,
I have to go away somewhere for a while. Maybe for a few days, maybe... longer. I won’t be able to send you any letters while I’m gone, and I’m very sorry for that. Please don’t worry about me, and trust that I’m in good hooves.
Today, my friend Rainbow Dash helped me remember something that, thanks to Kira, I nearly forgot: your friends will always be there for you. It’s one of the first and simplest lessons I ever learned, but it’s also one of the easiest to lose sight of. Every day, we face lots of situations that we think our friends wouldn’t understand, or would have no interest in helping with. But a true friend will always have your best interests at heart, and even if you don’t see the problem in the same way, there’s no trial in all the world that isn’t made easier by facing it together.
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle
Next episode: The Dollmaker!
This is going to be one helluva plan; can't wait to see how it turns out.
i.imgur.com/xtoFms.jpg
Oh yes! A update!
I'm sorry, I've read this entire fanfic, but seriously it's literally, scene for scene, just "Death Note: BUT WITH PONIES." Very rarely is there are variation of plot points and some dialogue is straight up lifted of the manga, along with actual characters. I mean, really? It's just so boring and predictable, not to mention that you had to make Twilight act widely out of character to accomplish it.
It just seems to be a waste of time and writing to be honest. I mean, crossovers are meant to cross OVER two separate series/franchises. You don't see "Doctor Who" episodes and story-arcs written, only to have all the characters turned into ponies. People (at least attempt) original stories, while combining what makes both series so great.
This...
This is just "Death Note"...but with ponies.
Another incredible chapter!
Is this going to be like the manga or are going to put a spin to it? I hope for the second because you keep blowing my mind!.
Oh god, I can tell this is going to be the most complicated plan Twilight as ever come up with.
661841 I highly doubt it is as similar as you claim, given the fact that I have been working with Nonagon on this matter. As a prereader for his chapters, I frequently make suggestions on how to twist and alter the plotline and have always advised him to disregard the storyline of the Death Note in favor of creating his own. Since I have been doing that for quite a while, now, and since I have seen what he plans to do in later chapters, I can say with confidence that this story is significantly different from the anime it is partially based off of.
This also brings to mind some of the comments said above, on how many of the characters, Twilight in particular, are radically different from their Death Note counterparts. I noticed one saying how Twilight openly admits that she's a monster where Light always has retained some notion that he is fighting for good. There are always ways to improve, of course; I can't properly express how much effort it took to convince Nonagon to call Rarity 'Rarity' in Reunion and earlier chapters instead of 'Diamond Edge,' and speaking of Reunion... to quote Nonagon, 'hoo boy.' That was a battlefield of a chapter.
And all that aside, it's a very good read. Even if it was just a 'Death Note: WITH PONIES' story, I would still read it just because the individual scenes are entertaining, and sometimes just a single paragraph on its own can make me laugh. One thing that's always stuck me about Nonagon's stories is how good a sense of humor he has, and how refreshing it can be to read during such a dark story. Sometimes I look forward to the good laughs in a chapter rather than the storyline.
In the end, if you don't enjoy it, then that's your business. If you really think it's as similar as you say, though, then your thoughts are clearly misguided.
663868
"I highly doubt it is as similar as you claim, given the fact that I have been working with Nonagon on this matter."
1. Twilight finds the Death Note in almost the same exact manner as Light, along with having the SAME epiphany.
2. Ryuk appears.
3. Twilight begins to kill ponies as Light did, getting ponies attention that there is someone out there giving punishment to the wicked.
4. Twilight's adversary is named 'L' and tricks her in the exact same manner he tricked Light.
5. They play chess instead of tennis.
6. Rairty is 'Naomi Misora.'
7. Ray Painter is 'Raye Penber.' (Oh, come on! They don't even sound that different!)
8. Ray dies in the same manner as his counterpart.
9. Flutterhsy is 'Misa.'
10. Fluttershy has the same plan as 'Misa.'
11. Flutterhsy screws up the same way Misa did.
12. Twilight has the same plan as Light, which is to say that she thinks she's Kira.
Oh, that too, they both call themselves Kira. Even though it makes no sense that they both call themselves that.
There;s more, but those were just off the top of my head.
Again, They're much to similar for my liking an I will be off.
664247
It's a fair comparison. I started this story with very different intentions than I have now, and it shows. I've always been fond of absurd crossovers, and the stories of My Little Pony and Death Note are about as fundamentally different as they come, so it became a game to see how many parallels I could draw between them. Now that I've established that the crossover is plausible, I'm focusing on expanding it as a story in its own right. If I were to start this story from scratch, season one would be significantly different, and probably a lot better for it.
The goal at the moment is to take a Master Quest approach to storytelling. It follows a similar enough story that the reader thinks they know what's going to happen, which makes it all the more surprising when things unfold in a completely different way. Problems are solved in different ways, different characters live and die, and I can guarantee that the endgame will be completely different. Changes grow more pronounced over time; I've already laid the groundwork for several original subplots and characters. Just sort of a shame it took so long to get to this point, I suppose. I've resolved not to make the same mistake in my next project.
It does baffle me a little when people point out I'm being particularly faithful to the manga, though, seeing as I've never read it.
664358
Gaaaaaaah. You want it to be like the original. You don't want it to be like the original. You want the same characters. You want different characters. You want a retelling of the old story. You want something completely new. Everypony make up your minds!
664351
"The goal at the moment is to take a Master Quest approach to storytelling. It follows a similar enough story that the reader thinks they know what's going to happen, which makes it all the more surprising when things unfold in a completely different way. Problems are solved in different ways, different characters live and die, and I can guarantee that the endgame will be completely different."
Alright, this is actually a reasonable reason for them being so similar, but for my liking, it takes much too long for the differences to appear, when if they're satisfying in their execution. Which I, unfortunately, did not believe they were, since Twilight killing both Rarity and Pinkie still seems incredibly impossible for her to do. Even if she says she regrets it and calls herself a monster, Twilight would never stoop that low, considering how much she loves her friends.
Not to mention that they're the only friends she's ever had besides her brother in Canterlot.
Again, while the twist WAS surprising, it wasn't well executed in my eyes. HOWEVER, I will say that the scene with Sweetie Belle was well executed and I congratulate you on making such a touching and believable scene with even Fluttershy being WILDLY out of character not ruining it. Sweetie Belle went out saying what she believed and it was touching, so, well done.
Again, this story isn't badly written or anything, but just the incredible similarities between both series is too much for me to wait and see the differences. It just isn't worth it in my eyes.
HOWEVER, when this story ends, I will finish it to see the differences.
664532 This is fair. My argument was based off of you saying that the story was 'scene for scene' like the manga/anime, which it clearly isn't, though I will admit it shares more overall storyline similarities than I care for. Although I can't say for sure whether some dialogue is exactly the same or not, nor do I want to be enlightened on the matter, I do know that it is different enough to be what every fanfic should be, a good read. And as for the massively OOC characters, well, it's extremely difficult to avoid such things in this kind of crossover. I don't like using that as an excuse; however, I personally think having Twilight be a mass-murderer is much better than the alternative, which would be to create an OC to be Kira in her stead, or even worse, to make Pinkie Pie the mastermind of it all.
664469 Sorry, Nonagon. Your primary mistake in this entire writing project was writing a crossover. Following your own fantasy canon is hard enough without adding not one, but two others.
I think people should understand that in this story, the whole Equestria and all of its inhabitants are OoC in the basis. In the canon Equestria of the show, there isn't so much and so deep crimes, no murder, not so much bad crimes. We can understand that if there was, the characters couldn't be entirely like they are in the show. I haven't read the mangas myself, so I can't say about the similarities. But in this story, I recognize the characters, partly like they are in MLP show. To conclude, I liked this story so far and am looking for the next chapter; can't wait.
664469
better question is what do you want this story to be? I like things to not be perdictable, while its understandable if there are twists and turns along the way. Shouldn't expect to please everyone, along as you do your work proud.........
664247
You also missed that in the scene where pinkie died, its the exact same as in the Death Note movie, where light gets a friend killed to take the blame off himself (they were in an art gallery)
710260 WOah, there's a Death Note movie? How come I haven't seen it? You gotta tell me, man...
726324
It's a death note live action movie, it differs to the normal anime storyline but has a lot of similarities, and there are about 2-3 death note movies (blame the japanese dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png )
A little over three months ago, I was a relatively new brony on Equestria Daily. Generally I'd turn on the "No Fanfiction" mode, but for whatever reason this day I did not. I saw a story update that used the cover art for this piece and burst out laughing. I had no idea what I was looking at. I just had to see what I was convinced would have to be a trainwreck.
That was the first time I ever read fanfiction, and it was, at first, entirely sardonic. But it isn't derision that drives a person to read 115,000 words in one sitting, and that's exactly what I did.
Now I spend most of my free time reading and working with fanfiction. I've even written 35,000 words of it myself. And as I was reading this most recent chapter, I realized that it's likely I wouldn't have discovered a passion for literature when I did, if someone hadn't been crazy enough to mash up Death Note and My Little Pony. So thanks, Nonagon, and it's great to see that the quality is only improving as the story progresses. Can't wait for the next chapter.
756254
This makes me so happy, you have no idea. Upcoming chapter is dedicated to you.
I read this story on docs and I thought it was great then. Since it's on fimfiction now, I can finally leave a proper comment on it. I've read all the comments both here and on Equestria Daily, I've heard all the complaints, and for the record I really can't agree with any of them. Maybe my own bias as a Death Note fan is shining through, but everyone else reading this and complaining are also Death Note fans, so maybe it is just me personally.
People say characters like Twilight and Fluttershy were OOC in this, but really, you explained and justified it well enough that I had no complaint. Given your premise, you pretty much had to make some changes like this, and you handled it as well as can be expected. People will still complain about OOC-ness, but I really don't know what they want from you. An arc like Twilight as she is in the show becoming the sort of character she is here could fill a whole other story by itself. Do they want you to fit another ten chapters before the prologue entirely dedicated to character development just to justify the character changes? I'd kill the pacing stone dead if you spent ages and ages on it. You changed a character to fit the story here, and you did all you could to make it make sense. I really can't ask for any more than you've already done.
The other major complaint I've heard is that it stuck too close to the source material, but I don't even see what the problem is there. Death Note: With Ponies may not be exactly the most creative of premises, but what else am I supposed to expect from a Death Note and MLP crossover? A human in Equestria story where Light and L meet ponies? No thank you. A story which just uses the Death Note itself being discovered by a character and doesn't draw any parallels? That wouldn't work because if you didn't try to follow the original series, it'd just be a story about Twilight finding a Death Note and immediately handing it over to Celestia to be locked away forever, or else a whole story of Twilight killing people with no challenge. Maybe a story which just has the Shinigami using their death notes to make war on Equestria, or something equally far removed from the pseudo-detective story thing the original did? Well then you'd have something that barely resembles Death Note anyway, defeating the purpose of a crossover. It might as well be an original story.
Really, when I see the promise of a DN/MLP crossover, I never wanted anything more than Death Note done with ponies, and the fact that you put an original spin on it anyway with the Golems and other such subplots was just icing on the cake. I have no idea what any of the rest of these people wanted.
Other complaints I've seen is that one guy one EqD complaining that Equestria never had crime on the show or anything and using minor details taken from some frames in Season X Episode Y as justification, but he openly admitted to never having seen Death Note anyway, and I really think his argument loses some ground if you're unaware of half of what you're arguing about anyway, and a lot of people have said that the fic is bad because you killed their favourite character or whatever, which just screams immaturity to me anyway. L was my favourite character on the original Death Note, but I didn't cry or refuse to watch the rest of the series when he died. I don't get it.
If it sounds like I'm making excuses for this fic, I'm really not. I genuinely think you've done an excellent job of blending these two universes considering what you had to work with. A crossover like this has to make compromises to include the right elements, and I think it's unfair for some of the story's more vocal critics to be complaining about the things they have been. For all the people raging about Twilight being cast as Kira, I'd LOVE to see what they would do as an alternative. Because if their answer is "OC pony Kira", I can tell you right now that I'd have not read their version.
Anyway, off to read the next chapter now.
Why is thy comment section filled with war one second im like wait i thought it was death note but with ponies then i was like why u care bout dem similies maan!The esquis- Exsqui-Um.. uhhh..Exsquisite Twist and stuff then ....... then- parallels,subplots,fundamentally,Umm da heck dem words mean? then Master Quest? Lol Wat.Then i was lik- DONE NO GOD DANG IT!-What im saying is this Awesome fanfic is just so Intriguing {or however you spell That word,}It made me keep goin 2nd fav fanfic eva! I really hope you keep prosecessing through this even if haters be hatin...Too.. many ..big words it.... makes me-..
Brilliant choice of words-Nonagon.
756254
It being late and me feeling lazy, I can't come up with much to say about this, I think, but... thàt is awesome, lol. I'm glad you decided to read this that day, sir.
As for me, I've always liked fanfiction well enough but never really bothered with much more than lemons, as I recall. Now I'm reading my first MLP fics, and after a couple fledgling fics and/or trial attempts, I'm enthralled with this. It's not saying much, but definitely the best fic I've read. I'm no literary critic, but I'm loving everything about how things are written and come together, and how they follow yet differ from the source material. Mister Nonagon has pointed out my interest in serious pony fics to me, or at the least, given me something wonderful to read.
...Anyway, I find I feel I have less to say about the content with each successive chapter, possibly because my biggest points of concern (Rarity, and the main concern I had regarding Fluttershy) are settled. Eh. Either way, I forgot to mention I was looking forward to this part. Oh, you magnificent fellow of mine, Nonagon... Show me some art. *continues reading*
MASTER. OF. DECEPTION. So much so, that confessing to a crime is deceptive. Wow.
802581
To put it simply; I agree wholeheartedly with everything you just said. Nice to see another supporter of DN/MLP who's actually watched/read both sides of the crossover and understands that things have to happen a certain way, that people may or may not like, for this crossover to make any sense.
My reaction when Fluttershy gets locked up and tortured
I really don't think you do anymore, Twilight. Not at this point. You certainly don't have the right to say that.
Oh come on! She's going to be imprisoned now. That's it, I'm not moving my junk around anymore. I'm gonna wait till she returns to her house before shattering reality on her
661841
This is exactly why it is so enjoyable to read: the ponies do the "Death Note"! Ponification of anything cool is even (a lot more than 20%) cooler !