Pinkie and the Necronomicon cookbook.

by Mrchibivampire

CHOCOLATE CAKE OF DOOM

Pinkie opened up the book and tried to find its register, where all the recipes could easily be found, but she found no such thing. “Ermh, Mr book?” she asked carefully.

“Yes, master what is your command!?” the book shouted.

“Do you have a recipe for chocolate cake?”

“If a recipe for chocolate cake is that which you desire, then you shall have it!” The book shouted.
Suddenly the pages light up and two red beams of powerful magical energy shot out from within its pages. The beams crashed through the roof and high into the sky. The roaring pillars of occult energy slowly settled and the book opened up to page 45 “The chocolate cake of doom! the book roared. “It contains neither milk nor gluten products, so everyone can enjoy it.” The book added.

Pinkie studied the recipe.
First preheat the oven to 265 degrees.

• 2,2 pounds of chocolate, chose what kind depending on what flavor you want.
• 4 cups of virgin blood, the younger the better.
• 2 teaspoons of salt.
• 1 teaspoon of baking powder.
Add the soul of one lobster. The taste will greatly increase If said soul is stolen from a lobster that is in the process of getting cooked by a yellow dog who is attempting to make the ultimate sandwich.
• 4,5 cups of flour.

Mix all ingredients until they are as smooth as a heavily decaying corpse. Then pour the batter into the form and put it the oven for 45 minutes. Once cooked allow it to cold down for 10-15 minutes before eating. Serve with a glass of cold milk with a slight hint of fermented goat piss.

Pinkie just stood there, thinking about what she just read. It took a minute until she came to a conclusion. “That sounds like a real treat and Dashie loves chocolate cake! Thank you, Mr Book!”

“Anything for the master!”

“Please call me Pinkie, all my friends do.”

“Anything for, the Pinkie!”

Pinkie quickly gathered all the ingredients. “It’s a good thing I just happened to have all the ingredients just laying around in the kitchen!”

One hour passed and the whole bakery was overflowing with the wonderful smell of chocolate cake. Rainbow Dash could smell it from the sky so she flew even faster, so that she could get her tasty treat quicker while it was still fresh out the oven.
She knocked on the door and Pinkie greeted her and led her into the kitchen. “Take a seat, Dashie. I’ll have slice of cake ready for you in a minute. What would you like to drink?”

“Anything will be fine. Just hurry up! That cake smells so good! What kind is it?”

Pinkie disappeared into the kitchen, to plate some of the cake. “Mr, Book will tell you!” she shouted.

The black book teleported from the kitchen and onto the table, in a dark flash. Dash was surprised by this and almost fell out of her chair. “Mortal one! Prepare your tastebuds for the chocolate cake of doom! The Pinkie, have been working very hard on it! So the least you can do is to enjoy it with your life!” It roared.

Dash’s eyes widened and a shiver went down her spine.”Brr, I don’t like that book.” She then carefully pushed the book off the end of the table.

The book landed on the ground with a thud. “Ouch!”

Pinkie came out of the kitchen. She was carrying a tray with two thick slices of cake and two tall glasses of milk. “There you go, Dashie. Enjoy!” Pinke barely had time to sit down before Dash had viciously attacked her slice of cake.

“Wow, this tastes awesome!” Dash said in between bites.

“Glad you like it, I got plenty more!” Pinkie said with a big smile.

Half an hour passed and Dash had just finished her third slice of cake. She finished the last of her milk and sank into the chair. “Blargh! I think I’ll skip dinner tonight.” She said, patting her full tummy.
Suddenly Dash’s stomach growled loudly and a loud belch bellowed out her mouth. She quickly covered her mouth with her hooves and her cheeks flushed a bright red color “I'm so sorry, Pinkie! That was not cool of me…” She might not be the fanciest pony in Ponyville, but burping out loud by the table is still a no no. “I don’t know where that came from.”

“Oh, Silly! It came from your tummy!” Pinkie giggled.

“Well thanks for the cake, Pinkie. I wish I could stay a little longer, but I got some clouds to take care of.” Dash waved to Pinkie and flew off into the sky.

Pinkie got up and cleared the table.
She grabbed Mr, Book and walked up the stairs that lead to the hallway, which in turn lead to her room. She placed Mr, Book on her desk. “Thanks for the help, Mr Book! Also, do you have a real name?”

“I’m known by many names!”

“Well… Do you have one you prefer?”

“Hmm, you may call me Sebastian!”

“Oke Doke Loki!” Pinkie jumped into the air and divebombed into her bed, somehow managing to perfectly covering herself with her blanket in the process. “Good night, Sebastian!”

“Good night, Pinkie!

Pinkie quickly fell asleep. She snored audibly and judging by the way her body was twitching, she was greatly enjoying everything the dream land had to offer.

* * *

Meanwhile over at Rainbow’s house.

Another loud belch escaped Rainbow’s abdomen. “Oh, that was some super tasty cake! I need to ask Pinkie for the recipe.” The clock on her wall hit 23:00 and a wonderbolt figurine flew out and made a silly noise.
“Well it’s time to hit the hay!” Dash hovered over to her bed and crash landed into it. She closed her eyes, but she was unable to fall asleep. She tried turning over, flipping her pillow and everything else one tends to do when they can’t sleep.

“Wahahahahahah!” Sebastian laughed. “The rainbow one will never sleep again! Thus is the curse of the chocolate cake of doom. Her body will slowly crumble away and once it reaches its limit. The rainbow one will die and I will reclaim a piece of myself. Hahahahah!”

Pinkie groggily opened her eyes. “Eurgh, Sebastian I know you are happy about the success of the cake and all, but I want to sleep.” Pinkie said still half asleep.

“Anything for, the Pinkie!” He shouted quietly. The night was coming to an end and once the moon had lowered over the horizon. Sebastian’s body began to glow in a creepy manner. His cover changed from a pentagram into three sets of dragon like eyes and a large mouth filled with razor sharp teeth emerged underneath them. “One step closer to the end.” He whispered to himself.

* * *

Meanwhile in the Canterlot hedge maze.

Discord laid in his patented cloud jacuzzi and simple enjoyed the wonders of being free. “Oh,” he moaned. “This is the life. Nice warm water, bubbles all over my body, a big glass of chocolate milk and of course, the joy of having completely forgotten about the evil book that I gave to Pinkie.” He slid deeper into the warm water and let out a deep sigh.

“Hm, something is missing. I feel like I have forgotten something important… Oh, well!” He snapped his fingers in sudden realization. “that’s right entertainment! You can’t enjoy a bubble bath without some fancy entertainment.” He stroked his beard as he thought about what kind of entertainment would entertain him the most.
“I got it!” He snapped his fingers together and a slingshot came into existence. He aimed it up into the sky and drew the string back. “Steady, steady.” He released the string and a tiny rock flew towards the top of the castle

“Ouch!” Celestia roared.

“Oopsie...that was not part of the plan.” Celestia’s mane turned into an ever flowing rainbow of fire and a big pillar of smoke emerged from within the castle.
Discord gulped audibly. “Well, scuba diving is fun!” He snapped his fingers together and in a flash of light he was covered in a scuba outfit. He dove into his jacuzzi and disappeared.

A very angry Celestia landed inside the hedge maze and she walked over to the jacuzzi. “I don’t recall there ever being a hot tub out here... Oh,well finders keepers!” She sat down in the jacuzzi and made herself comfy. Her mane returned to normal and she felt truly relaxed.

Meanwhile deep down in the jacuzzi Discord was having a bit of a problem. “Houston we have a problem. I have had a run in with Kraken and he is now chasing me.”

“This is Houston. Abort the mission and return to the surface.” Houston said.

“This is Discord again. We have another problem. A big white whale is blocking my only exit.”

“We need visual” Houston shouted.

“I don’t think that is a good idea, but suit yourself.” Discord flipped a switch and was now filming the white whale’s butt.”

“Ahh It's horrible!” Houston yelled before getting cut of by static.

A giant tentacle wrapped around Discord’s waist. “This is not looking good for little old me.”

To be continued……….maybe.

Author's Note:

Well Discord is in quite a pickle, but at least the cake was good.

Comments

[Hot Charge]

Ok, this is awesome. Can't wait for more. Loved the Adventure Time reference. Was calling the book Sebastian a Black Butler reference? I feel like it was but not entirely sure. Keep up the good work.

[Mrchibivampire]

3671272 Thanks for the comment. Original I was going to call the book Necro, but that felt a tad lame even for me. I choose Sebastian on pure random, but I have both read and watched Kuroshitsuji Aka Black butler. Most enjoyable I must admit.
Adventure time is so boss!

[MidnightFMare]

hahaHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh NRGL that was funny! white whale!
ha! i'm gionna use that! thanks! hahahahahaaaaaa!!!!
(keels over from laughter)

[Mrchibivampire]

3671800 Dangit I mixed up a freezer and a refrigerator..........wow that is bad even by my standards

Funny do you think a baker only uses daily eggs? We don't we need so many everyday that it's common for us to have loads of them inside a refrigerator or a cold storage. Speaking from experience I worked as a baker for a short period of time.

Or I could simply say screw logic this is a story about Pinkie Pie.

[Aprion]

Add the soul of one lobster. The taste will greatly increase If said soul is stolen from a lobster that is in the process of getting cooked by a yellow dog who is attempting to make the ultimate sandwich.

I totally lost it. oh god my sides hurt. i haven't laughed this hard in weeks.