6. Canterlot
She could take it back
She might take it back
Some day
-Pink Floyd, “Take It Back”
A brown earth-pony was awakened by a hoof on his shoulder, plucking him from strange places in his mind. He grunted and dug his snout further into the soft down pillow. It wasn't fair, he decided: pillows always seemed to feel best when you had to leave them behind.
The hoof shook him again, rougher this time.
"Rockheart, wake up!" whispered a gruff voice.
The pony rolled onto his back and cracked open his eyes. The few candles at either end of the room were barely enough to give him something by which to see. Opening them further seemed a feat of will beyond measure.
When he realized that the voice belonged to Sergeant Wheatgrass, it got a lot easier.
The young stallion startled and threw himself out of bed, standing at parade rest with his dark-brown mane down over his eyes. Sergeant Wheatgrass's steel shoes made nary a sound on the carpeted floor as the senior guardspony—himself with brown coat and dark-brown mane—moved around the bed to eye him from head to hock.
"Her Royal Highness Princess Luna has asked for you," said Wheatgrass quietly, so as not to disturb the rest of the row of sleeping ponies in the open-bay barrack room. "Police that mane and tail, armor up, and report to the antechamber of the throne room."
Rockheart cleared his throat. "Yes, sergeant," he said simply. With that, Wheatgrass turned and strode powerfully out of the room.
Rockheart flipped his mane back down along his neck and shook out the tangles in his tail. He then got busy making his bed, pulling the sheets and blanket tight with his teeth and smoothing out the wrinkles with his broad hooves. His thoughts drifted to his dream, and the stallion just gazed blankly at the bare stone wall of the barracks room while muscle memory did the work. He could barely remember it now, but boy did he have the impression that it had been a weird one.
His armor was in his hooflocker at the foot of the bed. Taking care to be as quiet as possible, Rockheart opened the latch and pulled out his cuirass, helmet, and shoes. He liked his armor, and the weight of it on his body. It had been two months since he'd joined up, and he still felt proud to wear it every day. He hoped that pride wouldn't diminish with time.
He donned the armor with practiced ease, stepping into his shoes and letting the segmented shroud at the back of the cuirass fall down onto his tail, the plates on the flank concealing the cutie mark that had given him his name. Rockheart was working in private on a trick where he flipped the helmet onto his own head by tossing it into the air with his teeth; he was sure it'd impress the other guardsponies once he'd mastered his eye-mouth coordination. After laying the helmet upside-down on the bed and lowering his head into it, he shook off the last remnants of sleep and walked out of the bay.
The royal palace of Canterlot was a massive, labyrinthine complex, and when Rockheart had first arrived he'd thought he'd never internalize the layout of it. Everypony had been quite understanding and helpful, however, especially when they were assaulted by the stallion's enthusiasm for the job. To his initial shock, even Their Royal Highnesses had come to know him, though as he came to learn more about them in turn, it only seemed natural. They knew everypony in the palace: their names, their families' names, their jobs, their families' jobs, where they lived, birthdays, anniversaries, everything. They were goddesses, he figured, so it'd be a trifle for them to remember such things. What was more important to him is that they, in their incredible power, took the time and care to remember at all.
He now walked the marbled, bannered corridors with confidence, though, a proper member of the Palace Watch. The floors and walls in the public areas of the palace were made of marble and the ceilings were vaulted in granite, so red runner carpets covered the center of the corridors. This keep the clopping and clacking of countless hooves and shoes from making it impossible to have conversations in the hallways.
There were three other ponies waiting in the antechamber when Rockheart arrived, guardsponies each. Two were slate-gray unicorns from the Sanctum Watch, one stallion and one mare, and the third, another stallion, was one of the white pegasi of the Sky Watch. Holding mostly ceremonial posts in close proximity to the princesses and their daily haunts, the Sanctum Watch wore gleaming silver armor, nice to look at but not much use otherwise. The Sky Watch, being the branch of the Royal Guard with the biggest public presence, had armor of thin polished brass, providing all of the brilliance of gold for a fraction of the weight, which was an important consideration for pegasi. The brown-coated earth-ponies of the Palace Watch—ponies like Rockheart—wore armor of matte brushed steel, thicker and heaver than the armor of their counterparts. It was functional and no-nonsense, bearing no jeweled accents or plumed brush along the helmet. Rockheart was rather proud of this fact; it felt like an acknowledgement of the physical strength and sensibility his kind had.
The Sanctum-Watch stallion had a rose-colored star on his chest piece, denoting his rank as a captain. Rockheart marched up to the unicorn and saluted smartly.
"Guardspony Rockheart reporting as ordered, sir."
The unicorn returned the salute. "Glad you're here, son. I'm Captain Moonwave." He gestured to the other two with a hoof. "This here is Guardspony Updraft and Guardspony Giving Grace," he said, indicating the pegasus and other unicorn respectively. "Now follow me, all of you."
To their mild surprise, instead of walking through the throne room, Captain Moonwave marched past them and started down the corridor which ran around the outside of the throne room's walls. The three junior guardsponies fell into step behind him, naturally falling into single-file progression.
Moonwave led them through the quiet stillness of the palace at night. All of the servants were home asleep, and most of the night-shift Palace Watch were manning the ramparts or the outer grounds. Soon, the marble of the floor beneath their hooves shifted in color from salmon to white. This denoted entry into the Sanctum, a place of study-rooms, arcane laboratories, compartmentalized libraries, and the personal living spaces of the Sun and the Moon. Strict noise discipline was observed even during daylight hours to assist studious ponies visiting the Sanctum.
After a bit of travel through the Sanctum, the four of them approached a nondescript arched wooden door with wrought-iron banding and a simple ring handle at mouth level. Two Sanctum-Watch unicorns stood at attention on either side of the door. The guard on the right saluted as they drew nearer.
Captain Moonwave returned the salute. Rockheart idly wondered if officers ever got sick of having to constantly do that. It hadn't been the first time.
"Is Her Royal Highness ready for them?" asked Moonwave.
"She said to send them in as soon as they got here, sir," replied the unicorn.
Moonwave shrugged. "Good enough for me," he said, and cocked his chin at the door. "Well, don't keep her waiting, ponies! I dunno what she wants with you, but once she's done with you, you can consider yourselves as you were." He nodded once to his collected subordinates, and then resumed his making his rounds through the Sanctum corridors.
The unicorn on the left used her magic to open the door, and the three visitors filed in. The door closed behind them, giving a nearly inaudible click.
The walls of Princess Luna's study were nothing but bookshelf, and each shelf was full to capacity. In the center of the room was a low mahogany writing desk with a stack of paper, a quill, and an inkwell, and seated on a cushion at the desk was Luna, Goddess of the Moon. A cheery fire crackled in the fireplace at her back, haloing her in warm, flickering light. Her mane seemed to be made of stardust, and her coat shimmered between dusky purple and near black as she moved.
She looked up at the three ponies before her, and in the instant those eyes lifted, all three ponies fell into a deep bow, bending a foreleg and dipping their heads low.
Rockheart intensely studied the fibers of the elaborate carpet next to his eyes, suddenly quite nervous, his heart pounding. What would the Night herself want with three low-ranking guardsponies? Where they in trouble? That was it, wasn't it? There had been something he'd missed in training! If only he'd studied the Royal Guard Hoofbook more closely, and had done a better job of acclimating to the whole—
"Please rise, guardsponies!" came Luna's soft voice. Rockheart had heard that Luna once used to be able to nearly knock ponies over with the power of her voice; he was glad she'd worked on toning that down.
The three of them came up to attention, locking their legs and lifting their heads in unison. Rockheart looked out of the corner of his eyes to the two others on his left. That had gone well, almost like they'd practiced together.
The princess tittered quietly, holding up a hoof to hide her mouth. "Oh, come now, be at ease," she said. "None of your officers are watching, nor are we at court; there is no need to keep up appearances here."
Rockheart relaxed, but not too much. Princess Luna was acting friendly enough, but his heart was still hopping around his ribcage. He was staying silent, and thankfully, none of the other two had spoken either. It was always a good idea to keep one's mouth shut when in doubt. That had been drilled into him way back when—
"Now then," said the alicorn, bringing a paper to the center of the desk with a hoof and looking down at it, "I have before me... Giving Grace, Rockheart, and... Updraft, is that correct?" She looked up at them, eyebrows lifted.
"I am Giving Grace, Your Royal Highness," said the unicorn mare, taking a step forward.
Rockheart took his cue from her. Uniformity was always good. "I am Rockheart, Your Royal Highness," he said, stepping forward as well.
The pegasus then stepped forward too. "I am Updraft, Your Royal Highness."
Princess Luna giggled again, looking less like a ruler of the night and more like a young mare after a night of bar-hopping. "How adorable you three are!" she laughed. "Please, please, we are all friends here; there is no need for the theatrics of parade in my humble little study. Call me Luna for tonight. It'll save us all some time." She gave a warm, disarming wink to them.
The brown earth-pony relaxed a bit more. She certainly seemed in a good enough mood, so that was a good sign.
Luna looked back down at her paper. "Now, on to the next question: all three of you were humans once, correct?"
The three guardsponies exchanged a quick look, nodding a little to each other, then Updraft said "Yes, Your—er, yes, Luna."
"Splendid! So we come to the final question before we get down to business: you three were all... warriors, back in your human lives? Soldiers?"
Again, the answer for all of them was yes.
Luna shifted the paper aside with a hoof and leaned forward a bit. "Now, this isn't a question I need answered—merely curiosity on my part—but I would be pleased to know your human names and where you served."
Giving Grace was only too happy to answer. "My name was Petra Eliopoulos," she said. "I was a truck driver in the Hellenic Army, 31st Mechanized Infantry Brigade."
Updraft cleared his throat, holding a hoof to his mouth, then said "Dhanesh Sawardekar, my beautiful princess. I was a radioman in the 26th Infantry Division, 9th Corps, Indian Army."
Rockheart hesistated before answering, trying to get his pulse under control. "I was... Kyle Webster, Third Infantry Division, United States Army. Eleven bravo."
"Hm!" exclaimed Luna. "Interesting. I suppose you are the one, then, who for a time worked on something called a..." she snuck a look back at the paper she'd slid to one side. "... a 'Railroad'?"
A deluge of rapid-fire memories flashed through Rockheart's head. Maintaining his composure, he nodded once. "That is correct, Luna."
"Outstanding. We will get to that later, but for now, I need the help of all three of you. Please, make yourselves comfortable."
Luna's long horn began to glow, and then Rockheart felt something soft bump up against his back hooves. He craned his neck back to see cushions being set down behind each of them. Needing no second bidding, the three of them sat, once again in accidental unison. Luna gave another amused smile at that.
"How does it feel to serve in Equestria?" she asked conversationally. "Tia and I are certainly honored that it was us you chose to serve."
"I do not regret it at all, my princess," said Updraft. Rockheart and Giving Grace both nodded at that.
"I don't think there was a better choice I could have made," said Giving Grace with a smile.
"Heh, fits me like a glove!" added Rockheart. "Er, well, so to speak."
Princess Luna giggled again. "So indeed! Were the magical alterations to your coats and manes and eyes rather odd? I've been rather curious for a human perspective on what it feels like having that first spell cast on them."
"It was..." Rockheart looked to the other two. "...tingly. Strange. It didn't feel bad, though! Brown probably suits me better than orange anyway." The other two ponies just chuckled and nodded.
"Good to hear," said Luna with a smile. "To business, then! The sooner we finish, the sooner you can get back to your beds, right?" She got up from the desk and began to pace along the edge of the room as she spoke. "My sister had visitors at court today who had come straight from the Barrier. They related a rather unfortunate ordeal that they had gone through involving the loss of an air-carriage and a gauntlet of dangers as put forth by the Human Liberation Front. There was an encounter with Ponification for the Earth's Rebirth as well, I understand. The three humans escorting them were members of what is known colloquially as the Railroad, a militia of sorts, given to taking ponies and Bureau supplies safely across inhospitable terrain. The three humans lost their lives. All of this happened across a stretch of road roughly one hundred miles long. One hundred miles from a Conversion Bureau to the Barrier, and all this takes place. It is worrying, as you may imagine."
The guardsponies remained silent. Luna gazed blankly at the bookshelf by her side for a moment before continuing.
"Tia and I have no jurisdiction in the human world. We cannot dictate how humans act and we cannot involve ourselves in, support, nor sanction any human-created organizations, whether they be for the benefit of newfoals or not." She sighed. "Would that we could, but we cannot take sides, even if the sides we would take are obvious to all.
"The ponies who visited us mentioned that the areas directly in front of the border are a sort of war zone, a hotbed of conflict for humans who feel that they have no place in Equestria, or that there is nothing for them here. Soldiers." She regarded them with sad eyes. As Rockheart looked into them, his heart truly settled. Kindness and regret were there, deep and smooth.
Luna gently stomped a hoof on the carpet. "But soldiers have come to Equestria, many of them, I am certain, and you three are proof of it! Even former members of this selfsame Railroad serving right here in the palace! Tia and I have determined that we must try to reach out to these souls, to find what keeps them there, or what repels them from here. When all is said and done, it must still be their decision and theirs alone to accept our offer, but if we can assuage the reservations even one human harbors, then it will have been worth it.
"We need your help, my stalwart guardsponies, to think as they think, to speak what they need to hear. Tia and I wish for you to recall your time as a human under arms and to give us insight into the warrior's mind. From this, we will fashion a new broadcast and provide it to all of the public-address media that have opened their resources up to Equestria. For your assistance, we can offer no reward beyond the satisfaction that you have helped potentially deliver some former comrades into the safety and fellowship of Equestria, and to ease this fear of peace that we ponies find so baffling."
The goddess's ears drooped, and her head lowered a bit. "I wish we could do more, believe me, but this is a matter for humans alone. We can only provide them the choice and the facts, as we ever have."
The moon goddess lifted her head, and a small smile played across her lips. "And the main fact is the same: we would like for them to choose Equestria."
Rockheart smiled and nodded at that. The other ponies did as well.
* * *
Elsewhere in the palace, Sugar Spoon and the two newfoals slept soundly in beds of silkbird down. They had thought it would be days, or perhaps weeks, before they could gain audience with either princess, but to their surprise they had been given some time to speak at the very next morning's court. In the meantime, Gavel, Melody, and Sugar Spoon had been put up as royal guests for the night. It had been quite an exhausting day, and nopony had trouble falling asleep, though the mood among them was somber over what they had witnessed.
Even as Princess Luna consulted the formerly-human guardsponies, Sugar Spoon awoke to find her coat and her bedspread awash in gentle pastel-blue light. As her eyes opened and focused, she beheld Her Royal Highness Princess Celestia, Goddess of the Sun and co-ruler of all Equestria, standing at her bedside, the light emanating from her restless, lambent mane.
The unicorn made to hastily bow, but some intuition stayed her. No, that would not be necessary. She tore her eyes away from the deity to look over at Gavel and Melody, both asleep in beds of their own in the guest room. She looked back to Celestia. Her normally radiant smile was tempered with sadness.
"Good evening, Your Royal Highness," whispered Sugar Spoon. She figured that, if Celestia wished for the newfoals to be awake, she would have had them awaken as well.
"Good evening to you too, Sugar Spoon of Fetlock," replied Celestia, also in a whisper.
"There... won't be any need for us at court tomorrow, will there?"
Celestia shook her head. "There was never a need; I just wanted you three to stay close for the night. We visited your dreams and the dreams of your companions. Luna and I have learned all we need to know. We are taking steps to mitigate the problem even now, as we speak."
Sugar Spoon looked down at the blanket, the colored light on it shifting and coalescing as Celestia's mane rippled slowly in the still air of the room.
"You almost told them," said Celestia. It was a statement, not a question.
The unicorn's gold eyes watered and she shut them tight. She struggled to keep her voice quiet. "I wanted to, princess! I wanted to so badly! I didn't want it to come to death for them, I wanted to see them as ponies, I wanted to see how happy and relieved they would be, I wanted them to visit me in Fetlock and... and thank me for setting them on the right path. If they had just asked... I... I-I tried to get them to bite, to ask, just so I would have the excuse. I'm sorry, princess!"
"You have nothing to be sorry for," said Celestia. "I know of that yearning well, my little pony, because I have it too. With all my heart I want to tell them, to just cast my voice over all of Earth and remove all doubt, but it would be overstepping our bounds for either of us to tell even one soul. Even though the Barrier is unmaking their world, to come here can never be less than a choice freely made."
Sugar Spoon couldn't bear to look at Celestia's face, beautiful as it was. Her hooves pressed into the blanket, which was sprouting dark spots from her tears. "They think even death will keep them from having to choose," she said. "Why would it be so terrible to tell them it won't? Why not tell them that running from the Barrier is only a delay to having to answer, not an answer in itself?"
"It is a matter of faith, Sugar Spoon," said Celestia. The alicorn brought her head down to the unicorn's cheek and nuzzled her gently, as a mother might comfort her filly. "We must have faith that humans will seek Equestria on their own, that they will say 'yes' when the time comes, and hopefully that time comes while they are still alive. In turn, the humans must have faith that we are not misleading them, that we offer this gift with no ulterior motive or strings, and that they will own the final decision to be made."
Celestia's nose was dainty and soft, but through it Sugar Spoon could feel the heartbeat of the cosmos. She felt very small in the goddess's presence. "Three humans died to get us here," she said. "I could have saved them so much pain. The pain of dying, of having to—" Her voice gave out, her throat catching on a sob.
"Would they have believed you," asked Celestia, "or would they have thought you were feeding them some kind of feel-good fantasy, and only grown more distant? Humans, from what I've seen, are not used to being delivered from their woes by others. In the human mind, some burdens are to be borne alone, and shrugging them off is seen as weakness. They are unused to truly good news."
The princess's voice was lifted from its funereal matter-of-factness and into warmth, prompting the unicorn to look up at her with wide, tear-filled eyes. "You must have faith too, Sugar Spoon," she said, "faith that, in the end, all three of them chose to come to Equestria."
Sugar Spoon sniffed once, venturing a smile. "Did they?" she asked.
"A human can only choose Equestria if they have hope," said Celestia, smiling back. "Do you feel as though you gave hope to them during your time together?"
Sugar Spoon looked back down at the blanket. She supposed she wasn't getting the answer she really wanted. "I... I hope I did," she murmured.
Princess Celestia's laugh was quiet and innocently joyful, like the sound of bells being rung enthusiastically by a very young foal. "Hope breeds hope!" she said. "If you presented yourself as a true and faithful daughter of Equestria, then nopony could have asked more of you. Your part in this is over, my little pony, and even I do not get all of the answers when I would have them. Rest now, and let your mind turn to happier times ahead, both for you and the newfoals who have come back with you. When your thoughts turn to them again, take comfort in hope."
Sugar Spoon was already asleep, the light on her bed already faded away.
* * *
Cool Shade brought her dark-navy-blue hooves to her mouth and called up to the pegasus fiddling with the loudspeaker at the top of the telephone pole.
"Come on, Fleetfeather, get that doohickey unbucked! We're missing it!"
"Hold'ur horhesh, I almoaf go' it!" said the teal pegasus around a roll of duct tape. It was hard to use tape with just hooves—definitely a thing for humans and unicorns only—but Fleetfeather was the only newfoal in Salisbury who'd had experience as an electrician prior to conversion.
As he brought the last two ends of unconnected wires together, Princess Celestia's voice suddenly blared from the loudspeaker, filling the air and making Fleetfeather's ears ring. The pegasus very nearly dropped his tape.
Cool Shade whooped and bucked the air in celebration, then whistled over the other PER members, who all gathered around the loudspeaker to hear Her Royal Highness's latest broadcast.
There in Salisbury, and also on the television sets, radios, and CBs in DC, the US eastern seaboard, and all over the world, Celestia spoke, in languages uncountable:
"I am Celestia, Princess of Equestria and Goddess of the Sun. I am speaking on my own behalf, as well as on the behalf of my sister, Luna, Princess of Equestria and Goddess of the Moon. I wish to address the humans in service of arms, whoever you might be, wherever you might be, and for whatever you fight.
"To come to Equestria is not capitulation. It is not a victory for fear, nor is it the invalidation of what you hold precious. It is nothing more of the continuation of the life owed to you, the life regrettably altered by events beyond anyone's control, my own included.
"Consider your responsibilities as a parent, or a spouse, or a sibling. If you have family here, you can come to them. If you have family with you, they will be safe here. You fight, but do they? Would they have you fight out the rest of your lives, or theirs? Don't they want something better for you? If you have no family, then know that you needn't be alone if you do not wish it. There is a family for you here. You can find love, fellowship, community; all you want—and perhaps need—is here in Equestria. We know a thing or two about friendship here; it is a subject of intense personal interest!
"It is true that, in Equestria, there is almost no knowledge of armed conflict. It is true that you will not do in Equestria what you do now on Earth. However, it is also true that Equestria has need of you nevertheless. We value your perseverance, your perspective, your valor, and your sense of duty and service to an ideal. We recognize these as virtues to be cultivated, not flaws to be expunged. All of what makes you who you are can be manifested anew with us, here, in ways that may surprise you but will be no less fulfilling.
"Some will hear this as propaganda, a tool of war you, as fighters, are no doubt are wise to. But just as we have no need of war in Equestria, so too have we no need of propaganda. The stakes are known by all, including you. You know what is ahead; I need say nothing to that. All I need to say is that you are not forgotten, and you are not abandoned. You are welcomed, as you have always been.
"There is time yet, and will be for a few years to come. I have hope that you—each of you—will join us."
THE END
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Chatoyance · 3.1k words · 4.6k views
- Chatoyance · 80k words · 6.5k views
- Defoloce · 2.7k words · 127 12 · 4.1k views
- Dafaddah · 55k words · 65 30 · 4.9k views
- Chatoyance · 31k words · 6.5k views
- Chatoyance · 2.6k words · 8.1k views
- Midnightshadow · 28k words · 87 10 · 4.7k views
- Chatoyance · 108k words · 5.9k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.11 seconds
Total duration
829 users online
703,368 hits today, 2,364,530 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
An excellent end to an excellent story Defoloce. As much as I wanted Balth and Melchior and Gaspar to live, I know why you didn't go that route and am glad to a point that you didn't.
I really liked this story. I hope to see more of your work in the future!
Wonderful story, and brilliant. Thank you so much for writing it!
And the reference to Fetlock made my day. Hee!
362686
Great, thanks! I hope to have something ready for you! There's something else in the works right now, a big one, and no ETA on its publication, but I'll definitely be putting the whole shebang up here when it's ready.
364363
Yep, that's your Fetlock! Sugar Spoon actually first mentions her hometown in chapter 1, in the cafeteria scene. I needed a village name anyhow, and shout-outs are always fun, so in it went!
360908
Hope is the important thing. The way I figure it, Celestia and Luna are capable of seeing a progression of events for a person beyond life and death. While humans are free to decide whether or not to enter Equestria, they still have to actually make that decision at one point or another, and running from the Barrier doesn't count as a decision. The princesses would just be happier to see it made before someone has to go through the traumatic experience of dying first.
Took me a while to get around to this. Amazing ending. One of the ebst sotries i have found on this site.
Excellent story; one of the better TCB stories I've seen without a doubt. So many of them wind up being repulsive due to the overwhelming racism of the ponies, and to be truthful I was all set for Sugar Spoon to be a dyed in the wool sample of more of the same. But I was pleasantly surprised when I reached the end. She really didn't hate the humans, or want them to convert because they disgusted her and it would be a 'sanitary' way of disposing of them. She genuinely did care about them and want to alleviate their suffering - which with this group, is obviously an idea with some merit to it. Sugar was a very forceful, opinionated character, and not above deception to further her goals. But her actions were clearly motivated out of a desire to do good - and not some nebulous 'the good of all' type concept, but a deeply personal commitment to a group of individuals.
In this story you did what I've only ever seen in one other TCB fic to date: You made a pro-ponification pony both sympathetic and agreeable, and even made the conversion movement seem like the right choice... all without writing any particular party wildly out of character or exaggerated to the point of parody. It's the more personal touch in human / pony interactions, I think, that makes the difference. Very well done, sir or madam. And let me just say that given you also wrote Ten Rounds, you've displayed quite a bit of range here as well.
(The other fic I mentioned that pulled this off is Change of Life, as a side note.)
514999
Thank you for your comment!
Sugar Spoon was intended to be torn between her loyalty to Celestia's wishes and her natural pony desire to help directly. I'm sure Celestia would figure a lot of her subjects would try to "help" in the manner that Sugar Spoon considered, which is why she pleaded with all of them just to have faith in both her and the humans.
Sugar Spoon couldn't really wrap her head around the idea that someone would freely choose the sort of life the Railroad led. However, just as she couldn't imagine finding fulfillment constantly having to live and fight day to day, neither could Balthazar imagine finding fulfillment doing something like painting birdhouses. Neither side could see the other's perspective, and that's where I wanted the conflict to come from rather than simply having ponies disdainful of humans and humans hateful towards ponies. Realistic conflict isn't usually as stark as all that.
When putting the story together, I started with the question of what sort of person would feel as though Equestria didn't have a place for them. I wanted the answer to be based on a practical response rather than an emotional one (i.e. "grr I sure do hate them ponies"). This would make their position more sympathetic to the reader, and a good setup makes the interactions much, much easier to write. I really didn't think I'd find a better answer than soldiers, people who embody the natural warrior mindset most humans have. We thrive in conflict, even if we'd be hesitant to admit it to ourselves. Take people whose entire existence centers around conflict, and you have the perfect foil to the cute, colorful, happy ponies who just want to be friends.
Another night of having no better things to do ends me up with this interesting piece of fanfiction.
First of all, I like it because our writing styles are quite similar. Secondly, I'm not delving into the things already mentioned in these comments such as human and pony nature etc. Putting it short, I initially thought the pathos of the story was very unbalanced (some dialog suffers from a ridiculous overdose, while the rest is delightfully subtle), but after reading these lengthy comments I've reconsidered - maybe it was more thought out than I thought. But as I said, we're somewhat done with all that.
Narrative speculation is a go! The tragic fates of Mel, Balth and Gas (whoops... spoilers?) are very well written; their job just eats them up like nothing. Another great element is the almost insane enthrallment the ponies have for Equestria, and how well it's presented in the dialog and thoughts. But the last chapter... ouch. It has barely nothing to do with the rest of the story, it isn't really an ending at all, it's just serious, boring dialog and most of it is stuff I would've liked to think for myself instead of being plastered on my screen with no choice but to huff silently at the bland ending that's not really an ending. I think you could've done better, but I can see why this is how it is. The need to overarch got ya? To me, this ending is the beginning of another story (that's not bad, I did the same with my recent TCB one-shot), but that other story has to go through a bottle neck of restrictions this last chapter introduced.
I hope my comment makes any sense or is even readable in the first place.
611024
Hi, Microshazm! Thanks very much for your thoughts.
At the risk of sounding like I'm handwaving, the last chapter was meant to be a bit jarring. It sounds like perhaps it was jarring to the point where the narrative never recovers, which I didn't intend. What I wanted was to mislead the reader a bit, to make them think that Rockheart was either Balthazar or Gaspar via a rather lame it-was-all-just-a-dream plot device, then reveal that I hadn't used one after all. In hindsight, I probably didn't let it twist in the wind for long enough (plus I don't even know if it actually worked).
All in all, yeah, the story probably could have stood without the last chapter. The ending just felt a little too unsatisfying without chapter 6, though it grew a little too cumbersome WITH chapter 6. I try to take lessons from both self-assessment and comments, so it seems like I need to work on striking a better balance between ambiguity and resolution.
Again, thanks for commenting!
636968
It was just a plot device thought up sometime last year in the first batch of additional TCB stories to come out. I don't remember the first story that used the idea of an expanding Barrier, but it really changes the relationship between humans and ponies, doesn't it?
As to the why, that's largely up to the writer of the individual story. Sometimes the why doesn't matter, other times it's part of the plot. Usually, if Celestia is making the Barrier expand, the story will say so, because that's kind of a big deal for her characterization. A catch-all explanation could simply be that the two universes are simply colliding with each other, and as they compact together, Equestria overtakes Earth. Again, though, if understanding why is not important to the story, it generally won't be explained.
637824
People come in all types. Some want to be delivered from hardship, others want to have only what they can earn, and still others try to hang onto whatever semblance of normalcy and stability they can. One man's heaven is another man's hell.
637824 You see, that's the beauty of this universe though; it has some many different viewpoints and philosophies, and all of them equally valid. You're very right, it can be pretty disgusting that people would sacrifice their pride and everything they've accomplished to run away from their problems - which is undoubtedly what a lot of the characters in TCB stories do.
On the other hand... pride can also be an incredibly self-destructive and limiting emotion. The past can chain you down with regrets. Have you ever heard of or played the Fallout: New Vegas DLC, Dead Money? I love that entire storyline to death and consider it some of the strongest writing I've seen in a video game. Basically, the entire theme of it is the dangers of obsession, and the importance of letting go, lest those feelings consume you. So ask yourself this: Are the members of Railroad Seven-Three being admirably loyal to their world and their creed, or are they luddites throwing away their one chance to finally find peace?
To put it yet another way... is it stronger to stay true to your beliefs, or to accept that those beliefs may be wrong and take a leap into the unknown? Resistance, by itself, is not strength.
That's why I love this story so much - a compelling argument can be made either way.
639904
I would argue that they do what they do because they don't feel there's any peace to be found in Equestria for them, not that there is peace and they are throwing it away. They're holding onto the stability they have, the normalcy and familiarity which will not exist on the other side of the Barrier.
It's not so much about thinking becoming a pony is wrong. It is more that becoming a pony is not the panacea it's being presented as. Through how they've chosen to spend their remaining time as a human, the Railroaders demonstrate their willingness to help ponies even as they reject conversion for themselves. Were this to "actually" happen, I'm fully confident that organizations like the HLF would spring up—hell, there are plenty of real-world analogues to the HLF already! However, like the PER, they are extremists, and folks tend to forget that there is a huge swathe of people who would fall somewhere in between the extremes of utter hatred and total acceptance. People like to be useful, to feel like they are contributing to something, and they will find their use in most situations. This provides fulfillment. As such, the Railroad is a vehicle for fulfillment for certain types of people.
640528
Yeah, sorry about that, I was speaking more in generalities there and shouldn't have used the Railroad specifically as an example.
618586
Don't listen to Microshazm. You nailed it. That was exactly what I thought.
I'm angry yet sad at these fucking Equeastrians.
I want to show them...I want....You know what?
Fuck it.
Fuck these ponies, fuck celestia and fuck luna. And fuck the barrier.
Let there be a world of danger,hate and misery. For in that world you'll find stories of valor, sacrifice and doing the right thing because it makes life worth living.
Its like a story that will never ever end. Yet Equeastria will end that story....And that pisses me of.
Fuck you my little ponies. I'm done.
That was a really good story. I finally finished it after marking it on my list, and I just want to say that was really good.
2103127
Awesome! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)
i love ponys I really do but I will die a human not a pony
pony's never no why we don't want to be a pony. they will never understand.
I was born on this earth as a human I will die as a human
So, Celestia is pushing the barrier to force humans to convert, which is genocide. Ponies don't have free will and are more or less mind-controled by Celestia and Luna?
...and somehow that's good?
archive.4plebs.org/boards/tg/image/1373/40/1373400972281.jpg
5543440
Is that what you got out of that?
5599807 I understood the moral questioning of the story (which was really well made) but the whole setting is just... Bad.
5599965
Although I can't speak for the author, it has been said (once or twice by himself as well, I think) that aside from the initial premise of the Conversion Bureau universe, little canon actually exists. The Barrier being created as a deliberate attack and the Princesses mind-controlling their subjects were features added later by other authors, and are not universally true across TCB stories. (Mostly added by authors who wanted to paint themselves an easier target to hit with their criticisms, in my opinion - lazy writing and wasted opportunities at their finest - but I digress.)
In this particular story, the circumstances of the Barrier are as strange as ever. However, I was never given any reason to suspect that Celestia was being anything less than totally honest, and she quite flatly denied having anything to do with the Barrier's formation and advance in the final chapter. While it's true she doesn't offer any proof, I'm not sure what proof would even look like in this case - or if it could even be proven at all. Just another wonderfully ambiguous layer to this onion, and thus another quandary that each individual must struggle with on their own. In the meantime, she seems to go to great lengths to protect her subjects, want the best for everyone, and respect the sovereignty of Earth, so to me it seems pretty doubtful.
The setting is a mess, there's no doubt about it, but to me that's part of what's so appealing about it. Most TCB stories are incredibly ham-fisted either in one direction or the other, but there's so much potential there. The ethicality of the potion treatment. The doubt over how involved Celestia truly was with the Barrier's appearance. The inevitable culture clash between human and pony societies. The gradual collapse of human civilization, with pro-human and pro-pony extremists warring across the expanse of it. Soul-searching by both parties each coming to see themselves through the others' eyes. The ever-present question of what truly makes a man, Nature or Nurture - an argument which Potion seems almost custom-made to address. Friendships made and lost as individuals choose sides, or are simply caught in the middle of the conflict, and likewise how individuals on each side must question just how much their convictions truly mean to them when their resolve is put to the test. Quests for redemption in the search for a new life in Equestria, as well as the overwhelming fear of taking that first step at all. Heck, even the inevitable culture shock that would surely come for a great many newfoals, as they suddenly find themselves in a totally unfamiliar world, with a totally unfamiliar body, living a totally unfamiliar culture, and having absolutely none of the basic life skills, knowledge, or property that even the humblest native-born Equestrian would possess - even more so if they were one of the ones either forced into changing, or changed against their will.
Whew. Sorry. Got awfully wordy there. I just see a lot of potential in this universe that so often seems to get overlooked. Truthfully, I wish there were a lot more TCB fics... just much more subtly-written ones.
Whew, just finished reading through this story for a second time and, I gotta say, Mr Defo, that your Conversion Bureau stories are honestly my favourite out there. There was such a bleak yet colourful story at work, analyzing both aspects of two fanatical factions, and those stuck in between. You're a wonderful writer, and your characters, themes and morals are both fantastically vivid and beautifully convoluted. Have a pat on the back, friendo. Ol' Lemon likes your stuff, and I'd love to see more pieces from you in the future.
5600130
I ain't here to go around promoting my own tosh willy-nilly on someone else's work, but I'm in the middle of trying my hand at writing a lil' piece myself that takes place in the same semi-established canon as this one, and will hopefully contain at least some of those things you're looking for in a CB story, pal.
5658109
I'll be looking forward to it.
I don't understand what happened to railroad 7-3, Celestia and Sugar Spoon acted like they weren't dead.
Did they really die?
6702972
I doubt you'll get an answer, as the ending leaves it deliberately vague; Def seems to like a degree of ambiguity in his endings.
My personal understanding of the ending has always been that Equestria's extending presence on Earth has reached into the more metaphysical, as well. Simply put, conversion is a choice you WILL be faced with, one way or another.... either you'll face it in life, or you'll face it after. Gaspar, Melchior, and Balthazar are well and truly dead, but their essences still have the opportunity to enter the Equestrian reincarnation cycle and become ponies. If they accept, they'll eventually get the opportunity to be reborn, and start their lives over without any of the baggage that kept them so miserable and chained to Earth. Their lives have ended... but they can have new ones.
If, however, they still refuse.... it's sometimes mildly hinted that a big part of why ponies are so desperate to see humans convert is because humans don't have souls in the same way ponies do. When a pony dies, their soul goes on. When a human dies.... that's it. It's over. They're gone. Forever. Celestia has deliberately kept humanity in the dark about this, and forbid any of her subjects to tell humanity either; she wants conversion to be a freely made choice rather than existential blackmail. Personally, I rather like the touch; it keeps the ponies firmly sympathetic, as not wanting to see someone you care about cease existing is a pretty strong motivation for some tough love.
This is why Sugar Spoon talked about 'not wanting it to come to death for them.' She didn't want to have to wonder if they made it through safely or not. She wanted to see them convert so she would know it for a fact, and so that they didn't have to convert under the worst possible circumstances: I think it's fairly safe to assume that a post-mortem conversion is not quite as cheerful and liberating as the regular kind.
So yeah. They're dead. But, they could be back some day, in some form.
Maybe. But will they?
Dunno. And never will.
I wish I could explain to you how much I loved this story and how awesome it is. I wish I could list all the little details I noticed and all the awe and wonder I felt. But to be honest, all I could do was keep reading, exclaiming, "God damn, this is awesome!" over and over again as every following chapter upped the ante and blew my mind. You've done a masterful job of pacing and characterization and expressing ideas in such a thrilling, but also poignant way.
I haven't decided on how I feel about this epilogue just yet. It certainly does an excellent job of wrapping up.loose strings, but there's a sense of ickyness I feel at the thought that not even death can truly stop conversion. That wonderful, wonderful line you wrote about human defiance, which sounded so impenetrable seems to crack in the face of this implication and makes me wonder if it's a good thing that they will have to choose again.
At any rate, I knew you were a.talented writer way back when I read Always Say No, but it seems clear that I've missed out on a lot by not reading your earlier works. At least I can get started on rectifying that now.
Wonderful story!
I'm honestly not sure how I feel about most of this chapter before the very end, but otherwise this story is excellent.
Good Story.
You can has review!