The Two Idiots Of Canterbury (Part of Equestria: Z)

by SUPERCHARGER2001

Love Of Life: Cop

Author's Note:

Another chapter here that took me about 4 hours, also. Look, here, whomever reads this. I don't care who likes it or not, this story, to me, man, is a freshness in the air. I am simply making this story for only me. Don't read it if you don't want to because I ain't going to go out to you. Comments are welcome, but I'm not holding my breath. Not like Mind/Body/Light/Sound where I have to make it real good, with solid quality at my best, in order to appeal to others. This one, there is no limitaiton, and I'm proud of that. I don't go on this site, often enough and I don't ever want to, again. I only want to go on here to finish the six stories I got at my own pace. I'm serious, I really don't have time to spend on here when I have life to go through, alright? Again, this story is for me, and I will fix the first two chapters later since they are not on par with quality as these two new ones are.

“Come on you half-wit, get a move on!” Bob shouted behind his back at his half-dead partner struggling with each step.

Royce breathing was getting more distorted, sounding harsher, he needed a rest. But Bob said otherwise.

They continued running; ponies on sidewalks and inside their homes started noticing the two officers on some zany shenanigans again. Bob, Royce and some of the citizen folks suddenly looking up towards the sky as the fire department Pegasus ponies zoomed right past them in the blink of an eye. The sky turned dark before instantly turning bright again. The clouds were bright and the sun shined through them like hot liquid that glistened the entire valley around the small town. Big patches had no clouds so you could see the open sky, and they were blue as a baby’s bottom. If Bob had been on a day off, if he ever got one, he would most likely spend the day bathing in this warm, succulent weather, drunk out of his mind, without regret. Yeah, he could dream, he could dream big. The sun arched up on the left side of town, leaning towards the middle more. It was close to lunch-hour and this town was sure to be busy with bustling ponies, today.

Bob skimmed past the eye-watching ponies, even verbally telling one to fuck off as the male gradually turned pale and gave a snide remark about his appearance. Royce couldn’t keep up any longer, falling over onto the muddy ground, he exhaled and inhaled very deeply. Two ponies started to get close to see if he needed help, he waved them off and could barely muster a sentence. Saying: “I-I-I…Okay, I’m…fine.” His head dropping back to the ground with a big splat. Bob Stooch wasn’t pleased, he growled Royce’s name under his breath before turning around and running back to him. Sprinting to his half-dead, half beaten friend. Bob purposely kicked a pile of wet, soggy, dirt with his hard as rock hooves unto his friend. Landing all over his eyes, bits of dirt plotted all around his face while a smidge trickled into his right eye while a moderate size of dirt flew into his mouth. Royce swished it around for a sec before spitting it out, he rubbed some of it off his face with his forehooves before shaking the rest of it.

“Bob, what the hell?”

“Blame that on your poor athletics, not me, bucko. Now get up and start sprinting, dammit!” Bob sneered through his teeth.

Getting up, he tagged along with Bob while the ponies around the street just scowled at Bob for putting his friend down.

Bob couldn’t give a flying rats, he had ponies to save. He had ponies counting on his life, he had some semblance of comfort while he thought his life was shit a mere hour earlier. Both gradually picked up the speed on the mud and their tracks showed along the seasonal town of Canterbury; the garage was just near outside of town, facing towards the exit-highway. It had to be at least a two-hour walk but both of them running could make the time essentially shorter. Both trudged through the dirt, ponies were now watching the two cops passing through the streets; sweating, panting, coughing, swearing, badgering and occasionally insulting one another before Bob flips off another random pony.

Time seem to fly and it looked like they were making minimal progress. The ponies could already be dead, Bob thought. Contemplating, considering maybe they should have thought this through more clearly. It didn’t matter, anyway. Soon, this will all be over and they could finally help some poor ponies at whims with death. They saw the smoke blemishing the un-tainted sky with whatever toxins that lied inside that building. Disdaining its crystal-clear coated blue. Bob picked up the pace with Royce following behind him.

Finally reaching the building up ahead, Bob slowed down considerably while keeping it to a jog; his muscles tensed. Legs throbbing, chest pounding, head dripping with sweat going down onto his face, his eyes stung and it felt like it was almost as if his eyes were drinking the sweat before it dribbled down inside his skull. The stench was all too much, but he soldiered on. Focusing on the mission.

Royce, however, had already stopped half a mile before, and now he was just struggling to walk. His legs sore, the palm of his hooves practically stuck to his face once he felt his forehead littered with hot mounds of stinky liquid. The semi-fat lug had a lot of trouble carrying forward with the mission. Bob didn’t even care about his friend no longer, all he wanted was those ponies to be safe. Bob was soon in eye view of the place that he could shout out to others that they had arrived. Well, he, alone. That is.

“Hey! You ponies alright?! I’m here! Need help?” Bob shouted over the flying Pegasus working at top speed as they bombarded the flaming hunk of wood with clouds of cold water. Dousing the place, you could see steam rising off the edges of the building and also out the window, before the fire once again regained lost territory. Bob was amazed at the big ball of flame that encapsulated the entire building. The Pegasus were working hard to maintain the blaze while the mare who called sat on the ground way across the burning building, in the field. Bob snapped back in action and full throttled to the women who sat idly by with her body motioning left and right like a crazy madwomen. Standing over her was another fireman who just swooped down from the sky to quickly check the state of the female. Bob reaches them and immediately questions them about the locals inside the building;

“How long have they been in there?!”

“Bob? Didn’t expect you here, my names Larry, this is Bernice. The mare who called in. I’m guessing you had your scanner when the call went through?” Larry sizing him up while Bob kind of carried on also; focusing on the mission, however, he did keep his eye on him.

“You called this, buffoon? Are you retarded? Ugh. I didn’t want cops! Especially, oh never mind.” Bernice grilled the fireman before admitting inevitable defeat.

“Sorry, mam. But look, you were supposed to call them anyways, it’s protocol that we do it if you decline to. It’s the law.” Larry tried easing her, but she only grew tenser.

“Look, missy, I mean, Bernice. I’m here to help, alright? So let me help, and let’s go get those kids.”

“I don’t give a shit about those kids. My father’s business is practically gone. How do you expect me to cope with that? At least were entitled to insurance coverage, because those fucking kids are going to pay if we aren’t.” Bernice scowled back, with spit hitting the sides of Bob’s cheeks.

“You don’t give a shit about kids?” Bob said, coming closer to her that their faces were inches apart. Kneeling down to her, Bob was starting to peel away all the kindness from his heart, and soon things were going to get ugly. Fast.

“Why should I?” Bernice asked, almost insulted by this response from the town drunk.

Bob put his head down momentarily, his mind now cluttered not with his regrets, demons, sorrow, and his several homemade burdens. But now of anger, hatred and a sheer agony of pain that he was going to inflict on this mare if she didn’t shut up.

“You’re as cold as your old man, was.” Bob croaked, stepping back, the heaviness of his breath across Bernice’s face was no more. Only a wicked glare he made surely got both of the pony’s attention, with Larry realizing that this lady had pulled a button off Bob’s stray jacket, and he could only count six in total.

“What do you mean, my father was a good stallion. How dare you interrogate me you pathetic drunk.” Bernice shot back with her own mix of venom and cleverness thrown into the pot.

“Look, Bob,” Larry intervened. “I’m not sure about those kids, hey, look at me. I’m not sure about them, they could be dead for all we know. We haven’t heard a single peep inside that building since we got here. No shouts, no screams, no cries, no nothing. If there was really anything, we could have heard it. For all we know, they could be gone, or…” Larry stopped, letting them both piece together the last of puzzle.

Bob turned around and simply watched as the building was doused with more cold water. He gently rubbed his nose and sucked up any tears or emotions that were beginning to well up in his eyes, and his soul.

He simply waited, now. Waiting for this to end.

This would not be the end, however. Not even close.

Royce was now close, the thick smoke from the sky appearing closer, the smoke in the air feeling denser, and the way how every pony was suddenly rushing towards the fire also sparked the way that he should be heading. His lungs slightly felt like they were being tightened around his chest with a powerful grip. A brutal knot. The smoke pillowing up so quickly, and quietly. Perhaps, scared him the most.

Bob quietly turned back and simply stood over the mare, who isolated herself once again. Refusing any sort of attention.

“Mam, you’re still going to have to come with me. I need witnesses, leads, anything that could help me solve this case as too what had happened, but for now, it could wait. At least until the building is finished burning, or the firefighters stop it from spreading, that is?” Feeling sort of proud of his adultness towards the situation even though he handled certain cases far worse. Like one time when he was out on a case with the investigation of a dead cat, but during the investigation, mostly in the beginning. He interviewed two suspects that were on the case, hooves were pointed at them by other folks that all were alleging that they were two low-life’s that had a fetish for dead animals. Silly town rumors, he didn’t take it seriously. But showing up drunk and high and smashing one of them in the jawline before wrestling with the second one after they heard the shouting from another room, was probably not the best idea at the time. Royce was interviewing the second one in another room at the far end of the main police station that they were at. When the kicking and screaming started, the pony got off of their chair and since it were a unicorn, they levitated the chair across Royce’s face. Smacking him down on the ground with two broken teeth. The second guy marched in and sucker punched Bob, before he lifted his lower half right back up with a solid hoof. The other pony didn’t go down so easily; taking another and repeating the same tactic but went up in smoke when his other friend finally got back up only to get clobbered at the back of the skull, right in the temple. Still surprised that he didn’t die from it, Bob would occasionally wonder when no one was around.

Bob Stooch then leaped at the pony from across the table into a filing cabinet behind them. Both fell down before Bob got another two punches into his sternum before kicking the pony’s upper left leg and biting his shoulder real hard. Breaking the skin. The pony screamed and bled, but no one was going to hear them because the station was soundproof thanks to the walls around the building, and the windows weren’t much help when half of them were still boarded shut, while others remained closed. The blood seeping through the pony’s cobalt fur, Bob jumped off him and kicked the first guy in the groin before saying that he would charge them with police assault if they didn’t leave.

Royce remained unconscious until Bob later woke him up, they both then went to the local pub and drank themselves silly until Bob blacked out and Royce tried having sex with some stallion, then pissed himself, than slept out on the curb outside the pub. The owner got two of his employee’s to chuck Bob out also, but not before stealing twenty bucks from his smelly jacket. They both woke up the next day reliving the same effects but with a raven shitting on Bob’s head.

After about an hour later, the fire was finally extinguished by the firefighters and their water cannons. Bob waited until he got the all-clear from the chief himself; Randy ‘Lord of the Onion Rings’ Chider. He was always known as a bit of a pig, but a pig with a kind heart, pretty much second rate to Bob in all aspects except for his enormous eating habits and that bulging gut that soon it will either go by diabetes, or imploding in front of his whole unit. Bob didn’t care, he didn’t mind the guy, just loved the way ponies talked about him. He’s was always a bit of sucker for gossip since moving up in Equestria.

He had to wait a little while longer, he asked the mare a couple more questions but was rejected in every light. Larry talked with him for a few moments, he was a bright, young guy, fresh out of college at least. Then, the pony’s from afar hollered out both Bob and Larry’s name.

That was when the crowd of ponies showed up without carrying for consequences, every pony wanted to see the show go up in flames…