Welcome To the Human World, Lyra

by Mr Boston

Finding A Portal

It was a beautiful day in Equestria as Celestia's sun shone brightly over the land. As all of her subjects were enjoying the day outside, one was inside painting a pretty picture. That one was everyone’s favorite mint green, lyre playing, human loving unicorn. And she was painting a pretty picture on the wall of her best friend's shop. To most people it it was a giant mish-mosh of symbols. To some it was an artist's representation of Zebracan culture. To others (mostly the nerds) it looked like a life size painting of an Inter-Dimensional gate from Star Pony. But to Lyra, this was a portal to a world filled with her favorite creatures and various different adventures.

Or so it seems.

---

Lyra took one look at one of the finished runes of the portal. She grabs a magnifying glass to check it for any flaws.

"Good, it looks exactly like it does in the book, even down to the little squiggly thing in the corner," she thought as she looked up from the book.

It had taken days to find all the materials to paint this portal, even longer to study it over and over to check what fail-safe would activate if it wasn’t set up right. Some fail-safes could just cause the portal to explode and other will cause the very fabric of the universe to come apart at the seams. There was even one that could cause everypony to switch bodies and cutie marks (she thought that twilight used that to ascend to godhood)

“Stupid Princess Twilight. Just because she had everything handed to her by Celestia, she got to go out and have adventures with her COOL NEW FRIENDS. She even became an alicorn for bucks sake. Well, today is the day I prove to her and Celestia that I will have the last laugh and prove to everypony that I am a better pony than Twilight!” She shouted as she laughed maniacally, “MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” She stopped for a moment. "I really need to stop hanging out with Trixie," she thought. Anyway onto the last one. Lyra levitated the book back on the counter and climbed up the ladder. She carefully levitated the book back to her eyes and began panting the next rune.

The Bell chimed, signaling that someone had just entered the shop, making Lyra freeze in fear. Lyra was supposed to be taking over for Bon-Bon while she was out running errands. She would flip out if she found out that she was making a gate to the human world instead of watching the shop. Lyra placed her paintbrush back in the bucket and the book back on the counter. She was about to walk out and greet the customer when she passed by a mirror and froze at how she looked.

There a paint all over her apron. Splotches of all the different colors decorated it. And even with all of the gear she had on, there were still various marks all over her hooves and fur. There was also a fine coat of dust on her as well. In other words, she looked like a total mess.

“Hold on one moment,” she shouted. She dashed into the bathroom as quickly as her hooves would take her. Turning the corner, she bumped into something. Lyra fell flat on her plot painfully. She groaned as she look up at what she bumped into.

It was an Earth pony with a beige coat, pigment blue mane with a rose pink streak, cerulean eyes, and a cutie mark of 3 pieces of candy.

It was Bon-Bon.

And she looked pissed off.

“Lyra, care to explain why there is paint all over my wall?” she says in a “you-are-five-seconds-away-from-getting-your-ass-kicked-unless-there-is-a-really-good-explanation” tone

“Uhhhhhhhhhhh..... Surprise?”

---

“So let me get this straight, the reason you painted what looks like that portal from that one Star Pony comic book is to go to the human world and see actual humans, all because Twilight got to see them before you could,” Lyra shyly nodded her head. “OK, and you believe that portal is going to let you go to the human world and turn you into a human.” She again nodded “And while there, you will find someone who is willing to come back here, amusing that there is a portal like this there, to become your proof that humans are real.”

“Well not really, stupid Twilight beat me to the punch,” Lyra complained

“Oh Celestia, not this again,” Bon-Bon places her hoof in between her eyes. “Look, I understand that you are still kind of bummed out that Twilight got to see the human world before you did, but lets face facts, she is a princess, a very smart, powerful, magically gifted pony, and a former student of Celestia herself.” she stated. Lyra only slumped in despair. “Besides she only went to the human world to retrieve the element of magic and save Equestria.” Lyra was frustrated at listing all the accomplishments Twilight “earned”.

“THAT'S NOT THE POINT!” Lyra snapped. Bon-Bon took a few steps back in shock. “Sorry,” Lyra stood up and walked toward the portal. “Its just that now that I know humans exist, I just want to prove to everyone else that they do and the only way I could do that was to go there and bring one here.”

“OK and why do you feel the need to bring one back to Equestria?”

“To prove to everypony that I’m not crazy,” she says nonchalantly. Bon-Bon just stared at her as if she really had gone crazy. “What...don’t look at me like that,” Bon-Bon's look stayed the same. “Its all in this book I borrowed from Twilight,” she levitates the book over to her.

Bon-Bon took one look in the book. the book looked like it was written ages ago and it seems to be falling apart at the binding. The pages themselves were tattered and the text faded. She couldn't read the text. It appeared as if it was written its in some ancient language (probably from the old unicorn tribes before the creation of Equestria.)

“And you translated all this?” Bon-Bon says quizzically

“Yeah, it wasn't that hard really,”

“And Twilight was OK with you borrowing this?”

“...Weeell,”

“YOU STOLE THIS FROM TWILIGHT,” Bon-Bon shrieked.

“Not stole, just borrowed it without her permission or knowledge,”

“Are you insane, you just stole a probably forbidden book from Twilight?? Do you know what would happen if she found out??” She gasped. “Do you know what would happen if the princesses found out?” she began pacing around the room. “We could be banished, or thrown in a dungeon, or banis-”

Lyra puts her hoof in her mouth, effectively silencing her. “Yes, I know that I could get in serious trouble with this, but I’m so close to figuring out the truth that I can’t go back now. That is why I need your help,”

“Fhr whut?”

Lyra looks back and forth between the rooms. “I need you to keep silent about all this,”

“WUTH?!?”

“The portal itself is almost done. I just need a little more time.”

Bon-Bon spat out Lyra’s hoof. “You’re asking me to keep THIS a secret till you get back in Celestia knows how long?”

Lyra got down on her knees “Please Bonnie, I’m so close to making a breakthrough and sticking it in Twilight's face, please just do this for me!”

Bon-Bon looked at Lyra's face and see her extremely desperate. She could swear that she can almost hear her crying. She thought back to all those times Lyra tried to be like humans, the walking, the pants, the hands. Bon-Bon looked back at Lyra who actually had started crying. "This must mean so much to her," she thought. Ever since Twilight had become an alicorn, Lyra had been obsessed with trying to show everyone that she is better than her. It has gotten to the point where every two weeks she comes up with a new plan. And every two weeks it ends in an embarrassing disaster. “*sigh*....OK”

Lyra sniffled, “What?”

“I promise to let you do this...“portal thingy” and keep it secret from Princess Twilight,”

“You mean it?”

“...Yeah,”

Lyra sprung up to her hooves and immediately begun to hug her “THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!” She suddenly let go of Bon Bon gasping. “I better finish the portal,” Lyra gleefully went back to putting the finishing touches on the portal.

Bon-Bon sighed, “This is going to be a long night,”

---

“aaaaaaand...DONE,” Lyra exclaimed.

Bon-Bon then walked over to the portal and looked at it. Despite the absurdity of the entire plan, to say that she was impressed over all the work Lyra put into this thing was an understatement. One can even say she was flat out proud of Lyra’s efforts. After all, this was her dream. and as her friend she would be there to support her through thick and thin. “What do you think” Lyra says, jarring her out of her thoughts.

“It's...it's....beautiful,”. Yeah, beautiful is the best word she could come up with to describe this.

“I know right,” Lyra was bouncing like Pinkie Pie over the idea that she was this close to meeting a human. Its almost driving her insane (not like she wasn't already). “Now for the finishing touch,” She went over and grabbed a box. Dragging it back to the room, she opens it and pulls out a small chest.

“What's inside it,” Bon-Bon asked.

“It's the thing that will make this portal actually work,” Lyra stated as she opened the chest and pulls out a blue cubeish looking crystal. The crystal look like she went to the Crystal Kingdom, dug into the crystal mines, and pulled out one that would go for a fortune at any auction in the entire world.

BB stared at it in awe. “Where did you get that?” she asked.

“Borrowed it from twilight,”

“Of course you did,”

Lyra levitated the Crystal out of the case and discards the case. She then slowly walks toward the wall. Bon-Bon waits in anticipation. Each step Lyra takes feels like its lone step closer to her goal, no....her dream, NO...her destiny.

Each second felt like a hour. Each step closer felt like her heart was going to explode. In a few steps, she stopped moving and stood a few feet in front of it, Waiting for the crystal to open the gate.

Nothing happened.

A few seconds passed. Something must have went wrong. Her hopes quickly started to fade. "It should have worked by now. I followed the instructions word for word. I couldn't have made a mista-"

*pew*

Suddenly the crystal reacted and began to float by itself. Then it started to send off beams of light toward the runes. Lyra & Bon-Bon look in amazement as the runes one by one begin to glow. Soon a small dot is made in the center of the portal as the runes continue to glow. As the last rune glows the portal activates making a sound similar to a key unlocking a door is made. A bright light soon envelopes the room, blinding Bon-Bon. Lyra ran toward it. “See ya Bon-Bon, I’m off to realize my destiny” she shouted. It was the last thing she says before she disappeared into the white void.

Bon-Bon slowly gets up. “That portal flash sure is bright right Lyra” she says as her sight recovers. She looks to her right and finds that Lyra is nowhere to be seen. “Lyra?” she called repeatedly.

No response.

“Oh...My...Celestia, it actually worked.”

---

(Meanwhile in our world)

“OH YOU ARE KIDDING ME, GOD DAMMIT!” a small Latino teen shouted shouted when their school made yet another turnover.

“And that's was the 5th turnover made by Jingletown high,” The announcer stated. “Will the quarterback ever get it together?”

“I sure freakin’ hope so,”

“Well, Eddie, you lost now give me my $20,” says a tall Black male in a GREEN DAY shirt sitting right next to him.

“I'll pay you back later.”

“You says the same thing about the nachos I bought you during lunch.”

“Look when I get my money I’ll pay you back.”

Just then a scrawny teen wearing a green t-shirt and black jeans walked up to them carrying nachos and various sodas. “Let me guess, you owe Nick $20.” Eddie groaned as Nick just started laughing. “By the way I got your sodas here”. He tossed them toward Nick and Eddie. Eddie fumbled his as Nick caught his with one hand.

“Look David,” Nick gestures out to the field “Does that remind you of anything?”

“How bad our team sucks?”

"Exactly,"

“Why do you keep making fun of our team?” Eddie asks.

“Because they suck SO bad it makes your tiny body look like the crap the opponents take after they eat us for a snack,” Nick stated in a in-your-face kind of voice

David just starts laughs as Eddie groans some more. He'd had it with the crappy way his team was playing tonight. Eddie saw many of the people leaving the game already. They probably felt the same way he is. Ticked off and bored out of their minds, Eddie decided to get up and leave.

“Hey man, where are you going,” Nick asked with a tone of actual concern.

“Away from the game because it’s obvious they're going to lose AGAIN,” Eddie stated.

“It's not that bad,” David says.

“Dude, its 77-3,” Nick pointed out while looking at the scoreboard. David gives him the “not-helping” stare. “OK, since we lost and none of us have to go home right now what do you guys wanna do?” They pondered this for a moment. They could go to Buffalo Wild Wings, but they did not have any money. They could go hang out by the docks. Oh wait, the idiots known as the students of their school are probably going. Not many ideas left.

Eddie looked up the school building for a moment. It was a pretty big building that looked like it could a lot of students. It is also one of the most popular schools in the area. They could probably hold more students if they opened the A-Wing back up. “Wait, that gives me an idea,” Eddie thought out loud. “Hey, have you heard the rumors that the A-Wing is haunted?”

“If Shad told you that, I don't believe a word he says. He has his head all up his sister's ass,” Nick says

“Well the we should check it out ourselves,”

“I say it's bull, but I'm willing to do anything if it means I doesn’t have to watch the game or go home,” David says

“I don't know, I was actually enjoying the fact that our team was getting their asses kicked,” Nick states. David and Eddie look at him like he's a bit sadist. “Just kidding, lets go.”

---

“Dude we've been walking forever. What exactly are we looking for,” Eddie complained.

“OK, first, we’ve been only walking for 5 minutes. And second we are looking for the back entrance to the A-wing,” Nick says.

“I can't believe that I'm breaking INTO the school, its like some reverse Riddle School game 'cept there's no fat kid blocking the entrance,” David says

“OK Mr. Strongman how do we get in?” Eddie asks. Nick just points to the back entrance. “No derp, how do we break in?”

“Watch and learn,”. Nick kneels down, puts his ear by the door, and starts knocking in random spots.

“That's your plan, knocking on the door like someone is going to let you in. I knew you were nuts but this is a milestone for you,”. As David continued his rant, Nick keep knocking in different spots.

“*knocks* nope, *knocks* nope, *knocks* hmmmmm, *knocks one more time* ah-ha!” Nick exclaimed as he stood back up.

“Did you find a way in?” Eddie asked

“Yep,” Nick than silently gave one strong push to the door in the spot he found.

The door just opened like it was never locked.

David & Eddie look puzzled at what he did. “How the fuck did you do that,” David asked.

“It's best of you don't know” Nick says as they enter the A-Wing. The A-Wing looked like a school hallway in the 1980's. Due to its use (or lack thereof) since then, the wing gathered a lot of dust and spider webs. The random chairs and desks scatters everywhere suggested that it was currently used for storage.

“OK lets split up,” Eddie suggested as he started walking.

“Are you-, that’s the dumbest thing we can do in this situation,” David says.

“No, its really the smartest, because if the ghost finds one of us, that person will warn the others with their screaming and they can run out of here alive while the first guy gets killed” says Eddie. The more David thought about it, the more stupid it seemed. “Trust me, it will work, 'cept if it finds me because I can handle myself or Nick because he can probably kill the ghost himself,”

“What about me?”

“You'll probably scream like a girl and die,” Nick says as he and Eddie bursts into laughter

“Not funny,” David groans as they walk deeper into the A-Wing.

---

(1 hour later)

“Augggh, I'm bored.” Eddie complained. “We've been in here forever that that the only scary thing in when the box fell of the balcony and David screamed like a girl,”

“That’s not what happened,” David states.

(flashback)

David was a nervous wreck at this point. He was constantly looking over his shoulder for anything creepy.

“Dude, calm down. Do you want the ghosts to find us” Eddie says

“*deep breath* You're right I need to get a grip”

Nick looks up and see various boxes stacked all over the place. “OK, there is a lot of stuff you can bump into over here, so watch your step,” he whispered. The moment he said that, he instantly regretted it.

The second right afterward, Eddie bumped into a stack of old boxes. The boxes sifted back and forth until they collapsed. David, who was oblivious tho the entire thing, kept moving forward. “why did you stop moving?” he asked. He only had time to look up and see a box land on his head. He reacted as any sane man would react in this situation after an old, dusty box fell on your head.

He started running in circles screaming “get it off” like a madman.

At this point, Eddie is laughing uncontrollably while Nick actually tries to help him.

“Hey stand still,” Nick said.

“getitoffgetitoffgetitoffgetitoffgetitoffgetitoffgetitoffgetitoffgetitoff!”

“OK, enough of this BS,”. Nick takes a deep breath.

And chopped the box of his head in a blink of an eye. David keeps screaming for a good few seconds until he realizes the box isn't there anymore. Eddie eventually quiets down.

“Dude not funny,”

“OK, so the Box Ghost just tried to kill you, now lets keep moving” said Nick in a deadpan tone, but it was clearly obvious that he was trying not to laugh

(Present)

“That was still not funny,”

“It was funny to me,”

“Hey guys, come check this out,” Eddie shouted form another room. The two teens followed him into the room and saw right before them the real reason why they were called in there and possibly the most interesting find of the night.

A giant painting on the wall.

David whistled. “That is one big ass painting,” he says in awe.

“It must be as old as the A-Wing itself,” Nick stated as he approached it.

“Well, this used to be the old art room. It probably belonged to Mr. Cody,” Eddie points out.

“Maybe his ghost will come out of it if we're lucky,” David says sarcastically.

“Dude, this painting look like the portal to the Ghost Zone from Danny Phantom” says Nick

“It looks more like that magic mirror from that My Little Pony movie,” David says. Immediately, Nick and Eddie just start laughing “What? It does,”

“Yeah and he's (points to Eddie) going to be the new alicorn prince” Nick says as he continues laughing. Suddenly a feeling of deja vu strikes him. “Wait a minute I've seen this situation before in every other 'Human In Equestria' fanfic”. At this point, everyone is laughing.

Unbeknownst to them, the “painting” soon gives of light as the markings around it start to glow one by one.

“soon we with be in a magical world filled with talking ponies and that we will become best friends with a tomboy, a shut in, a farmgirl, a fashionista, a fourth wall breaking psycho, and a socially awkward scholar that grows wings for NO FRICKING REASON.”

Eddie and David are collapsing from laughter and an on the ground laughing. They then turn around to see the painting behind them glowing ominously, shutting them up almost immediately. “uh, Nick,”

“-and soon we have to fight the Changeling Queen because Eddie pissed her off,”

“Nick,”

“-then David is going to be fucking princess Twilight and a whole bunch of other random shit. But let me tell you this my friends, THIS IS NOT ONE OF THOSE STORIES!”

“NICK!”

“WHAT?”

*Click!* *Virrrr* *BOOM!*

The “painting” exploded in a blinding ray of light.

---

Nick was the first to get up. Groggily he gets up off the floor and surveys the room for his friends. “Is everyone OK”. No response. “David, Eddie,”. He sees the boxes in the corner of the room moving. He rushes over there to pull them out. He dives in and grabs Eddie out of the box pool. “you OK,”

“Yeah but I can't see anything” says Eddie while rubbing his eyes. “Hey David, you OK”

“owwwwwwwww,”

“Dude quit moaning,”

“It's not me,” says David from the other side of the room.

Nick and Eddie immediately look around the room for the source of the noise. They see no one else except for David and the green haired girl over by the wall. Wait, a Green haired girl. They run over to her and took a closer look at her.

As their vision slowly returns they see that there is a girl laying on the floor groaning in pain. This girl also has green hair, a green shirt and a green and white skirt with a picture of a lyre on the side of it.

They slowly put two and two together.

“Oh, you are fucking kidding me right now!”

Comments

[BenRG]

It suddenly occurs to me that it won't work. Why? Because the portal changes humans to ponies and vice-versa. So, anyone Lyra brings back with her from either Earth or EqG pseudo-Earth will turn into their pony equivalent going through the portal!

Sucks to be her!

[MythrilMoth]

Okay no. Just no.

There are multiple problems with this.

1. Your grammar, spelling, and for that matter your actual writing suck flaming monkey ass. You need at least two editors to help you.
2. Excessive fanon abuse. Your Lyra is basically a flanderized version of Anthropology Lyra. Only really badly done. Same with Bon Bon.
3. Inexplicable jealousy and hatred of Twilight Sparkle. It just comes out of NOWHERE and it feels wrong.
4. MASSIVE plothole: Lyra doesn't need to prove humans exist. Twilight Sparkle already proved it. Anypony can just ask her about it.
5. Critical logic failure. Any portal into the world Twilight went to would turn a pony who went through it into a human, and any human who went through it into a pony.