Coast to Coast

by Exodus45

Aliens, really!?

'Ever since the invasion of the changelings on Canterlot a lot of rumors have been circulating about the existence of extra terrestrials. One such believer of visitors from outer space is with us tonight. Nova Trek has joined me in the studio tonight to spread some light on the whole subject of aliens. His first book called “Aliens, really!?” is set to be released with in the next month and I found that to be a good title for tonight's discussion. Nova, thank you for being with us tonight.'

'Thank you for having me Vox.'

'So you say that you have some proof that we have been visited by aliens in the past and that they continue to visit us today.'

'The evidence I have for you here implicates far more than that. I have reason to believe that what I show you tonight will shake the whole foundation of what we believe is reality.'

'Sounds exciting. Where do you even start with something like that?”

'Well let's start at the beginning with the most obvious example of alien tampering. Door knobs. How did rounded door knobs come about. They are awkward and hard for us non-magical ponies to use yet every door has them.'

'You are saying that door knobs are proof that aliens have been here.'

'Well not on their own. What they represent is though. There are countless examples from scissors to chairs to even your coffee mug. All of these devices are not intended for use by ponies.

Let's look back at the door knob again. Their round smooth surfaces are nearly impossible to manipulate between two hooves. They way they twist is counter intuitive to the way pony legs move. The fact that door knobs are placed in the middle of the door instead of closer to the ground also lends prudence to alien design.'

'Are you sure this is proof of aliens and not just poor planing on the designers part.'

'I would think that if there weren't so many other examples of alien influenced technology. Look at the handle of your coffee mug. What would happen if you tried to pick it up by the handle?'

'I would pour coffee all over myself.'

'Exactly! Why would the ponies who made these cup not realize that too? There seems to be no valid reason why the coffee cup had developed this way. For that matter scissors, doorknobs, and chairs too. Not unless there was already a previously constructed model or plans that would show them how to build these things.'

'So why is it do you suppose that things have remained this way?'

'Because we are not native to this planet.'

'So you are saying that we are the aliens.'

'That is what I am saying. Though I believe that we are the first of many. Sort of like terraformers for the next alien group to arrive.'

'I find that hard to believe.'

'Well let's look at it. We build houses that are cumbersome for us to live in. We develop and use products that are ill-fit for us to use. We control the weather when possible. And we tend the ground during the growing season. Even the great Princess Celestia controls the rise and fall of the sun, but that is just a cover up.'

'A cover up you say?'

'Yeah. She is the princess of the ponies here, however she is an alien. In order to explain this we need to look at some history.

Heartswarming Eve is by far the oldest holiday celebrated by ponies. Prior to that the ponies were divided into three factions. No where before the great journey were either Princess Celestia or Princess Luna ever mentioned. Yet the standard on the flag that they used to represent the harmony between the factions and to claim the land of Equestira shows both the sisters on the flag.

Stories tell of a winter demon or spirit that harassed the ponies, made the land infertile, and drowned the land in a lasting cold winter. I doubt that there were actually demons or spirits. These were probably used as metaphors to explain what was going wrong with the terraforming. Either way, neither Princess Celestia or Princess Luna were there to help the ponies overcome their differences or solve the problems they had.

We are all taught that the magic of friendship is what eventually won over the winter spirits. That is a false statement. What had really happened was that the aliens responsible for maintaining the progress of the terraforming came to the planet to correct the issue.

To keep from having this kind of problem again the overseers left two managers; two princesses. They are imbued with unfathomable power to make sure that the project stays on schedule.'

'Incredible. What does this mean for us ponies?'

'Well I can only presume that whoever owns this planet will come to claim it once out job is complete. We will either be cast aside like unwanted tools, re-purposed to work a new task, or reassigned to a different area to begin the task again. Anyway you slice it, everything will change.'

'Absolutely fascinating. We are going to take a quick break. After the break we will go to the phone lines so you can ask Nova some questions.'