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Chapter 1852 words
Chapter 21,225 words

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

“Fluttershy! Fluttershy!”
Rainbow Dash called loudly as she flew into the yellow Pegasus’ home, ignoring the broken glass that clattered to the stone floor around her.
“Fluttershy, I need your help.” The cyan Pegasus announced, then looked around, frowning.
“Uhhhhh, Fluttershy? Where are ya?”
Rainbow Dash called out again, hesitantly. Rainbow Dash was Fluttershy’s best friend, but even she didn’t know all of her secrets. The mare was very private, so Rainbow Dash was a little wary about what she might have interrupted.

“Fluttershy? Ya busy? I’ll leave if ya want..” She called out again, to the seemingly empty house.

Trotting lightly throughout the humble cottage, Rainbow looked around, occasionally calling out for her friend. After about ten minutes of this, Rainbow Dash reached the bedroom door. Slamming loudly on the solid wooden door with a hoof, she called out in a cocky tone.
“Fluttershy, I know yer in there! C’mon outta there, I needa talk to you!”
A whimper, followed by a high-pitched squeak, could be heard, and Rainbow Dash perked up, trotting energetically in place. After a moment, Fluttershy poked her head meekly through the door, her bright pink mane tied back in a severe bun, ears fluttering nervously.

“H-hello, Rainbow D-D-Dash. What brings you to..to..uhm, my cottage? I’m just a touch b-busy.. though if you need help, that’s fine t-too, if that’s okay w-with you.”
Flutter mumbled her sentences into the floor, cowering slightly behind what would normally be her mane, except it was tied up for some reason.
“Yeah, whatever Fluttershy... I need your help, with, uhhhh..well, it’s… I don’t really know..”
Rainbow Dash trailed off into mumbles of her own, ending in a Fluttershy-like squeak, face flushed a bright pink, despite her cyan fur. An awkward silence passed.

“What’s the deal with your mane, Fluttershy?”
Rotating her ears wildly, and sinking lower to the floor, Fluttershy mumbled something into the ground. Rainbow Dash shook her head, looking down at her friend and lifting a hoof apprehensively. “Uhm.. I could come back later, maybe..”, her tone uncharacteristically hesitant.
Springing up to her usual height, Fluttershy nodded eagerly. “Yes, that would be wonderful, Rainbow Dash! Uhm.. if, if it’s ok with you, of course.. “. She cowering slightly as her sentence trailed off, ears drooping. A slight whimper could be heard, deeper than expected. Rainbow Dash perked up her ears, narrowing her eyes. “What are you doin’, anyway, Fluttershy?”
Blushing bright red, Fluttershy shook her head, stuttering incoherently. Rainbow Dash put a hoof over the yellow Pegasus' mouth, smiling. “Whatever, Fluttershy. I’ll see you later, okay?”
The mute Fluttershy nodded. At the sudden whimper behind her, Fluttershy stepped back, slamming the door rather rudely and calling out “Uhm, yes.. yes, oh.. okay, Rainbow Dash. See you later..”

What the buck just happened? Rainbow Dash wondered, flying to Rarity’s boutique. Rarity could help her, if Fluttershy was busy. She’s a fashionista. There is no way she won’t know what to do. It’s a girly thing, and no one is girlier than Rarity. She reasoned to herself, knocking gently on the glass panes of the boutique. She didn’t want to tick off Rarity, so Rainbow Dash did as she was usually asked and didn’t crash through the wall.

“RARITY.” She yelled, pushing some of her colorful mane away from her eyes with a huff while she waited.
“Darling, it is wonderful to see you! Oh, do come in, sweetheart. Whatever can I do for you?” Rarity gushed, magicking open the window. Rainbow Dash found herself levitated to a nearby table, and sat down on the plush, overstuffed maroon chair. “Have you finally decided to let me use you as a model, hmm? That gorgeous mane of yours, I could do so much with it! Oh, and the color combinations between that, your fur, and fabric! The potential for fabulousity, it is simply staggering! Sugar, dear? Milk, perhaps?” Rarity babbled, all the while her magic levitating spoons, teacups, teapots, and various other things around Rainbow Dash’s head.
Nodding weakly, the cyan Pegasus didn’t even bother to try settle down Rarity. The fashionista – What the buck? Where did I even pick that word up? – was easily excited, but would settle down after the tea was served.
Hopefully.

With a dramatic sigh and a flick of her purple mane, Rarity seated herself, daintily sipping from the cup. Rainbow Dash leaned down, grateful that Rarity wasn’t levitating her cup, and sipped from the cup, then coughed. “Ugh, urgh, blerggggg! What is that?” She cried, leaning away from the cup.
“Oh, I apologize dear. I only had low fat soy milk. I’ve got to watch this wonderful waistline of mine, after all!” Rarity replied, perking her ears. “It is hard to look this fabulous.”
Right.. Rainbow Dash thought, rolling her eyes. “Look, Rarity. You gotta help me.”. Pleading, Rainbow Dash’s ears drooped pitifully. “Awww, Rainbow Dash, whatever is the matter?”

“Uhm.. well, y’see.. It’s, ah.. a long story..”

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Akela Stronghoof

Akela Stronghoof #1 · May 8th, 2012 · · ·

FLUSHY

YA DIDS IT

MAH BRAINS ARE TRYIN TA EXPLODE

HOORAY

374263

Oh, we all love you, Egthoridon.

FlutteringShy

FlutteringShy #2 · May 8th, 2012 · · ·

562290
Success!

JosephNightwind

JosephNightwind #3 · May 14th, 2012 · · ·

Hmm... what shall I put as my first comment on this site ever...?

This caught my eye, and I'll keep an eye on this. It's got promise. c:

THERE.

FlutteringShy

FlutteringShy #4 · May 14th, 2012 · · ·

589917 [ JosephNightwind]
I feel special now
o(≧▽≦)o

JosephNightwind

JosephNightwind #5 · May 14th, 2012 · · ·

589933
You have used a Japanese happy icon.

You are now kawaii.

FlutteringShy

FlutteringShy #6 · May 14th, 2012 · · ·

589940
Dear god.. .

What have I gotten myself into!?

FlutteringShy

FlutteringShy #7 · May 14th, 2012 · · ·

589977
You're right, it didn't show up!

I think I'll leave it in, just to tick you off though.
Yeah, in all seriousness, I'll get on that soon.

Thanks for the feedback

BlitzBolt

BlitzBolt #8 · May 14th, 2012 · · ·

Not a bad chapter, felt rushed though.

And bland.

You could have put in detail regarding the background and the sort. What was the weather like and the sort. A little detail can add to the atmosphere

Also utilizing the five senses could help too, if you can find a place to do so.

Maybe do a bit more "Showing" rather than "Telling" in the future? The fic is not bad, I just think it has a lot of potential that has yet to be unlocked

Again, hoped I helped, even a little

FlutteringShy

FlutteringShy #9 · May 14th, 2012 · · ·

589999
It was rushed.
I made the intro a few months ago, and put it up. I only recently submitted it, but the intro had still been up long enough for 75 viewers and like 12 favorites or something like that.

I also didn't get it proofread, like a genius

So yeah. When I realised "Oh god, I need to update this sometime soon!", it was a rather... interesting moment.
This accurately describes my reaction.
i.imgur.com/BZkaJ.gif

Thanks for the advice!

Azu