Another excellent chapter TAW! >dat RD 'cooking' >dat weirded out Spike >dat insecure Twilight >dat adorable sex >DAT FUCKING ENDING Hnnggg...
On the more technical side, there were a few errors here and there, like you including an extra word or phrasing a sentence slightly awkwardly, but for the most part it all checks out.
Bit shorter review here than last. Feels like the chapters are getting better imo. (or I'm getting more tired, but that should be irrelevant xP) I kinda liked the ponderings and concepts they encountered. A few felt a bit rushed, but it worked well. Like such things might do irl. Have to say I found the sex scene in this one to be a notch above the previous ones, was more detail and stuff into it, like the puffing/erection of her vulva and whatnot. Also, rather interesting "magic vision" concept. (really, never seen it before. That, and nice to see less over-use of magic and magicgasm hehe.) Good use of wings, preening was one of the neater parts... huh, just struck me how hard "petting" sex Rarity and Fluttershy could have... preening, grooming, massage haha... dammit, now I got tempted to write just that xD (blah, I really got to many project on atm)
I don't know if it was intentional, but I believe it was a minor slip.
When Twilight asks Dash how she "Never lets anypony down", Dash replies with the word "anybody" . Seeing as the characters are talking, shouldn't you use the pony vocabulary and use everypony instead of everyone?
So Taw just want you to know that while I was reading Twidashforever's series he recommend me to you. I have got to say I am very impressed with this one particular story and I cannot wait to read more of it as well as the rest of your stories. Now I am not expecting you reply to this comment (I have read your most recent blog and I am not asking you what is going on or where are you? I just want you to know that you gained another reader) or any others in the future I just want you to know that I have started reading and enjoying it a lot. Also please give credit to Twidashforever with out him, I would have not found you.
good chapter keep you the work
Another excellent chapter TAW!
>dat RD 'cooking'
>dat weirded out Spike
>dat insecure Twilight
>dat adorable sex
>DAT FUCKING ENDING
Hnnggg...
On the more technical side, there were a few errors here and there, like you including an extra word or phrasing a sentence slightly awkwardly, but for the most part it all checks out.
404424
Thanks!
Any particular examples of those criticisms? Not sure what I should be looking out for!
Lovely.
287227 Agreed
GLORIOUS!
That was hawt.
Pleeeeeeeeeease do another chapter on this D=
My body is so ready right now.
I love this story
The Daring Do predecessor to this was actually the first story I ever read on this site (before I even had an account).
is this the last chapter in the story
is this the last chapter in the story
448666
not by a long way.
Bit shorter review here than last. Feels like the chapters are getting better imo. (or I'm getting more tired, but that should be irrelevant xP) I kinda liked the ponderings and concepts they encountered. A few felt a bit rushed, but it worked well. Like such things might do irl.
Have to say I found the sex scene in this one to be a notch above the previous ones, was more detail and stuff into it, like the puffing/erection of her vulva and whatnot. Also, rather interesting "magic vision" concept. (really, never seen it before. That, and nice to see less over-use of magic and magicgasm hehe.) Good use of wings, preening was one of the neater parts... huh, just struck me how hard "petting" sex Rarity and Fluttershy could have... preening, grooming, massage haha... dammit, now I got tempted to write just that xD (blah, I really got to many project on atm)
Dash is going to be super late for work, it seems.
img.ponibooru.org/_images/158aca851209536334f0b55b527be961/77095%20-%20fluttershy%20i_came%20luna%20macro%20meme%20screencap.jpg
I don't know if it was intentional, but I believe it was a minor slip.
When Twilight asks Dash how she "Never lets anypony down", Dash replies with the word "anybody" . Seeing as the characters are talking, shouldn't you use the pony vocabulary and use everypony instead of everyone?
Uhhg i cant read anymore, my mind refuses
514899 it is the weekend.
So Taw just want you to know that while I was reading Twidashforever's series he recommend me to you. I have got to say I am very impressed with this one particular story and I cannot wait to read more of it as well as the rest of your stories. Now I am not expecting you reply to this comment (I have read your most recent blog and I am not asking you what is going on or where are you? I just want you to know that you gained another reader) or any others in the future I just want you to know that I have started reading and enjoying it a lot. Also please give credit to Twidashforever with out him, I would have not found you.
The odds I'd be the one to be the 1111th person to like this, especially a story as popular as this. Have a fav as well! Oh, and a follow!
That comma should either be a period or an semicolon.
While you seemed to have slipped in quite a bit of humour in this story, I don't believe this was intentional.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's just and easter egg?