Trapped in darkness Ray doesn't know what to do for years he has lived in a world full of darkness but when he is sent to a new world can he be shown the light in the dark ?
What an odd reaction... I personally would be like "heh you're fluffy" or "oh god a giant dog person!" Or even "I knew something was in that drink this morning"
3459547 Grammatical Errors abound, but otherwise as solid start. I will read on, and send revied version with all grammatical errors corrected, if I feel so inclined. Emphasis on may.
Pretty good start. The ideas and concepts are very intriguing, with lots of potential. However, the grammar and punctuation could use large quantities of revision and work, with some small transition work. Overall, though, it appears conceptually promising, so I will read on!
Is this a sequel to Shadow?
Nope shadow was more of my try out story darkness is something else gonna try and rewrite the first chapter
What an odd reaction... I personally would be like "heh you're fluffy" or "oh god a giant dog person!" Or even "I knew something was in that drink this morning"
3459547
Grammatical Errors abound, but otherwise as solid start. I will read on, and send revied version with all grammatical errors corrected, if I feel so inclined. Emphasis on may.
Pretty good start. The ideas and concepts are very intriguing, with lots of potential. However, the grammar and punctuation could use large quantities of revision and work, with some small transition work. Overall, though, it appears conceptually promising, so I will read on!