Act II, Scene 7: Apothecary Truths
Twilight stared at Spike’s giant head protruding from the library door for several silent seconds before sighing and shaking her head slowly. “Oh Spike, what am I going to do with you?” she asked with bit a whimsy.
“As long as it involves getting me out of here, I don’t care,” the dragon replied crossly. Despite his increased size, his voice still had the pitch and tone of a preadolescent boy.
“What are you stuck on?” Twilight asked, going over to the window to look inside, “and how did you even get stuck in the first place?”
“I don’t know,” Spike answered, “The growth spurts kept coming, but they weren’t too bad until about twenty minutes ago when my arms finally started catching up to the rest of me, and then it all sped up. And now I’m here, with my head outside and my tail still in the bedroom and I’m not sure how much I’ve got in between." Twilight “hmm’d” thoughtfully as she looked through the window, and then jumped back in surprise when Pinkie Pie’s face appeared on the other side.
“Hey Twilight,” Pinkie said, cracking the window open, “Is the meeting over already? How’d it go? I was there for Gale’s introduction but then…” She waved a hoof idly and then looked over her shoulder and saw Spike’s scaled hide behind her. “Holy moly,” she said, “That’s a lot of scaly purple snaky-ness. Did that river serpent stop by for a visit?”
“No, that would be me,” Spike answered, eyes hooded in mild frustration.
“Pinkie, can you see what Spike’s stuck on?” Twilight asked, “He can’t get out.”
“Sure thing,” the pink pony said. She swept her gaze quickly along the length of Spike’s body and then turned back to the window. “Looks to me like his shoulders are just too wide for the door Twilight,” she said, “Fix that little problem and getting the rest out will be as easy as-” and then she was gone, warped away to another part of town by the twisted joke plant’s curse.
“Well, it’s helping her stay focused at least,” Twilight mused to herself as she walked over to Spike’s head and began to apply her mind to the puzzle of getting the over-long dragon’s shoulders through the door. The most obvious plan would be to simply widen the hole, but that would require replacing the door afterwards and it wasn’t easy to make repairs to a living tree look natural. Using magic to enlarge the door wouldn’t necessarily damage the library, but it would be more or less permanent and the spell to do so would likely be complex, difficult, and time-consuming to get right. On the flipside, if she couldn’t make the hole bigger, she could just shrink the dragon. He needed to be smaller anyway, so it was a win-win idea!
“Twilight, don’t grin like that,” Spike said, “You’re making me worried. And your wings aren’t helping.”
Twilight wiped the manic smile that had found it ways onto her face and cast a glance at her little wings, which were unfurled and curled upwards in an attempt to look menacing. “Don’t mind them,” she said, turning her gaze back onto her oversized assistant, “I’m going to try and shrink you down for a moment so you can squeeze out.”
“Couldn’t you just… teleport me or something?” Spike asked nervously.
“I could try,” the winged unicorn answered distractedly, focused more on trying to recall a size-changing spell, “and I’d end up moving half of the library along with you – mostly the first floor. You’re too big.”
“Oh.”
Twilight’s face scrunched up in concentration for several moments, but her horn didn’t begin to glow until after she cracked an eye open and asked, “Your body isn’t blocking any bookcases, is it?” Spike cocked his head to one side and gave her an unsure look. “I guess I’ll find out then,” the unicorn said and then vanished in a flash of magenta light, reappearing inside the library astride Spike’s serpentine back. “Oh my,” she said, finally getting a good look at how much purple dragon she had to work with, “I’m going to need the advanced transformation spell books for this…”
“…and even after we figure out how to reverse the effects, we’ll have to find some way to apply it no matter what a pony’s been turned in to,” Gale concluded, pacing in front of Flutter-tree. The brown earth pony and Zecora had come to Fluttershy’s yard to wait for Ash and the twins to get back from their plant hunt. To pass the time, Gale had started to explain what she knew to Flutter-tree and the animals that had been transformed, but had quickly shifted to worrying out loud about the details. “A topical application like a lotion would be best,” she muttered, “but how would we use it on non-solid ponies like Rainbow Dash? How much would we need to make for those suffering size changes, or have turned into trees? And how the blazes do we get it to Pinkie Pie?” Fluttershy’s blue eyes followed Gale, full of concern and anxiety at being unable to answer the brown pony’s concerns.
“Gale,” Zecora said, trying to halt Gale with a hoof on her shoulder, only to be brushed aside. “It is not wise to work yourself into such a tizzy. Besides, all your pacing is making me… diz… disoriented!” She stamped and snorted in frustration, muttering something dark in her native tongue. Gale ignored her and continued to pace and ramble.
A lilac pegasus mare with a wild blue and white mane flew up and, after doing a quick double-take at Flutter-tree, landed nearby and watched Gale pace for a few seconds before awkwardly clearing her throat. “Um, excuse me?” she said, “we, uh, finished counting up the affected ponies and I was told to bring you the list.” She reached a hoof into the bag at her side and brought out a sheet of paper, holding it out toward the unresponsive Gale. “Hello?” the pegasus said, and then looked at Zecora and asked, “is she ok?”
“A simple case of nerves at the unknown factors in the problem is what I assume,” the zebra-turned-pony said, “Perhaps reading what you’ve brought will help her come to grips, Miss Cloud Chaser.”
“Ok,” Cloud Chaser said unsurely, “Let’s see then… We counted sixty eight ponies suffering from some sort of transformation or other strange symptoms in all. Half of those are pegasi from the weather patrol, most either turned into clouds or having some sort of other cloud-based… thing, with exceptions like Ditzy Doo who is utterly off-balance and speaks gibberish and Thunderlane who can’t seem to stop moving at near sonic speeds. There are nineteen unicorns and fifteen earth ponies, with eleven species shifts, nine extra or missing limbs, five issues related to mobility, four – actually five now counting Fluttershy – ponies turned into plants, and five miscellaneous problems.” She looked up from the paper when Angel Bunny tapped her on the shoulder, and then looked around and added, “…and at least ten of Fluttershy’s animals and one zebra.”
“And a partridge in a pear tree,” Gale said in a singsong tone.
“What?” Cloud Chaser asked, confused.
Gale shook her head and smacked her forehead a few times. “Never mind,” she said, embarrassed, “What was doing?” Zecora started to answer, only to be interrupted by a loud, violent sneeze from the direction of the Everfree Forest.
“Griffon,” a miserable-looking example of that exact species mumbled as it walked up to the gate of the yard. His body feathers and fur were ash-grey while his head was white with a crest of flaming red and orange. One taloned hand was wrapped possessively around a small bouquet of yellow flowers. A glimmer of happiness brightened up his vivid but weary and slightly bloodshot green eyes as he saw Gale and the others staring at him. “Well met ponies and assorted other things,” he called out, waving the flowers at them, “mission acco-ah-AHCHOO!” In a puff of yellow dust, the griffon transformed into an ash-grey chimpanzee. “Chimp, again,” he deadpanned.
“Ash?” Gale asked hesitantly, eyeing the creature, “Ashen Blaze, is that you?”
“Right on the first guess Gale,” Ash the Ape said leaning against the fence wheezing, “Bah re, is this what hay fever feels like?”
Zecora started to go over to Ash, but was held back by Gale, who was eyeing the chimp with suspicion. “Where are Gold Heart and Soul Mage?” she asked.
“They… they…” Ash sneezed violently and turned into a Diamond Dog. “Ugh,” he moaned, “Something attacked us; they told me to run ahead while they slowed it down. I thought they would have caught up by now, but… Well, we probably shouldn’t worry too much yet. They can take care of each other.”
“Ok,” Gale said, “but what happened to you.”
“This,” Ash replied simply, holding the bouquet out, “Here’s our culprit. I think I’ll call it Cruel Joak unless someone has a better name. Don’t get too close,” he added as a quick warning as Gale took a few steps toward him.
Gale stopped and directed PC to start scanning the flowers as she looked them over herself. The blooms closely resembled poison joak, except the petals seemed larger and slightly heart-shaped and the stamen were longer and more numerous. “And how is it you’re showing… symptoms already?” Gale asked, “It took a whole night to show up in Ponyville.”
“Ponyville didn’t get its face shoved into a field of this stuff and inhale a lungful of the pollen,” Ash said dryly, “Speaking of which, this… th… achoo! Baboon… This flower sheds pollen like there’s no tomorrow! It’s ridiculous.”
“Don’t you think you should get away from them then, if they keep making you sneeze?” Cloud Chaser suggested.
“Sure, now I can,” Ash said crossly. He dropped the flowers on the ground and walked away from them, grumbling, “Skvetchte plants gave me hands, or passable substitutes, but took my magic away… Does PC have anything yet?”
“Maybe,” Gale said, reading the head-mounted computer’s display, “It seems to be hybrid between poison joak and something else, but he doesn’t know what. ‘No match found in database’ he says.”
“Skvetch,” Ash swore, sitting down. He sneezed again and turned into a pony-sized grey and red dragon. “Hm, I could live with this one,” he mused.
Zecora went over to the dropped flowers, leaned her head down for a closer look, and then sniffed them. “This gives off an aroma that is familiar to me,” she said, rubbing her chin in thought, “partly the pungency of the prankster flower of course, but partly another, milder bloom…” She closed her eyes and pondered for several minutes. “Wait here,” she said at last, “I think I may know this plant’s other parent. I’ll fetch it from my home so you can compare.” She trotted away into the woods, leaving a somewhat awkward silence behind.
“So,” Cloud Chaser said, rubbing her neck, “I should probably get going.” She flew off without waiting for a response. Gale spared her only a brief glance before looking back to Ash.
“If this plant feeds off our inner desires for its effects, why is it giving you hands?” she asked.
“It’s probably more complicated than that,” Ash said, “My magic abilities are restricted in this world due to a lack of fingers for delicate spell-weaves, but that’s a minor issue really. Discord did try to tempt me with the prospect of being turned human again once, before he decided to focus on the mind control approach.” He caught sight of Flutter-tree’s wide-eyed stare in his direction and blanched. “Ah, geez, I forgot you were there Fluttershy,” he moaned, face-palming, “Yes, Discord’s been getting into my head recently and planting suggestions, but now that I’m aware of it I’ve been able to resist.”
“And we’ve been keeping him in sight almost constantly,” Gale added. Flutter-tree’s eyes relaxed. “That does make it odd that Heart and Soul would send you ahead on your own,” Gale said after a moment.
“It was their idea, I promise,” Ash said sincerely. Gale nodded in satisfaction.
Half an hour later, Zecora returned, followed by Heart and Soul. All three ponies were laden with sacks filled to capacity with bottles, jars, and plants and the twins were sharing the weight of a large cauldron. As they unloaded just outside the gate, Soul gave a quick salute and a smile to Gale and Ash, saying, “Whatever that was guarding the flowers and fortress, it lost interest once you were well out of sight Ash.”
“Fortress? What fortress?” Gale asked.
“Later,” Ash said with a dismissive wave, “What do you have for us Zecora, besides what looks like your entire apothecary?”
“If I am correct, then your talking metal hat should find something familiar in this,” the former zebra said, sticking her tail into a sack and pulling out a large purple flower whose single cup-like petal resembled a curled heart. Gale smothered a chuckle at PC’s reaction to being called a hat, and then took the flower in hoof while he scanned and analyzed it. After a few moments, the eyepiece brightened and Gale quickly read the output.
“It’s a definite match,” she reported, “The yellow flower is a hybrid of poison joak and this.”
“Heart’s Desire,” Zecora said, “a local but somewhat rare flower, highly prized for its pick-me-up…”
“Power?” Soul suggested when the grey pony continued to falter.
“Thank you,” Zecora said with a nod.
“Don’t hurt yourself trying to force a rhyme Zecora,” Heart said with concern.
“It’s a habit I’m rather fond of,” Zecora replied morosely.
“What exactly does Heart’s Desire do?” Ash asked.
Zecora reclaimed the flower from Gale and held it aloft with her tail as she explained, “Depression, apathy, anything that saps the will to act and care, a potion made with Heart’s Desire will get you back on your hooves like a second wind. If eaten raw in large amounts or improperly stewed, however, the results will be your heart’s desire set… badly. It is known to cause the cutie pox, among other maladies.”
“Ok, so we’ve got the cause pinned down,” Soul said, “No what about the cure?”
“Um…,” Gale said, listening to PC, “PC estimates he can calculate the ideal cure in… two days.” Angel blew a loud raspberry, effectively summing up the general reaction to the announcement. Gale just shrugged apologetically.
“PC’s never been the best at inventing all-new solutions anyway,” Ash the dragon said dismissively.
“It might be best to research and study the Twisted Desire more,” Zecora said, gesturing at the yellow flowers, “but before we do, I have one simple idea to try. Everypony take a sack and follow me; we must go to the spa. We can leave the cauldron here for now,” she added as Soul started to wrap the large black cauldron in his magic.
“Yes ma’am,” Soul said with relief.
By the time they arrived at the spa, the group had picked up a small entourage of altered ponies who followed at a respectful distance, clearly anxious for news. Among the crowd were Twilight, Rainbow Cloud, Rari-mouse, and old-timey Trixie. Zecora acknowledged the crowd and begged their continued patience. “With luck,” she said, heading inside the spa, “the cure will be as simple as combing the remedies for poison joak and overdose of Heart’s Desire, the two components of this discordian plot. I will need a private bath drawn, the remedy mix for poison joak, and volunteers to cultivate these.” She pulled a hoof-full of yellow seeds out of her bag and held them out. Ash took one in his claws and looked at it skeptically. “The flower that grows from these seeds of truth can counteract most cases of improperly used Heart’s Desire,” the zebra explained.
“So why don’t you have the flower itself?” Ash asked, “If you expect us to wait for these to grow, we might as well let PC run his simulations; he’ll be done sooner.”
“This plant grows with magical speed,” Zecora said, putting a second seed into Ash’s hand, “but only when a truthful confession is spoken around them while planted. Grow and bring me two; I’ll save the other seeds for later in case another approach is required.”
“All it takes is the truth?” Ash said with a smile, “No problem.” He stepped back outside with his friends right behind him, looked around at the expectant crowd, and said, “Perhaps we should do this around back or something?”
“You have stage fright or something?” Soul said mockingly. He plucked the seeds out of Ash’s claw with his magic and dug out a couple of shallow holes to bury them in. “Anypony have something they want to get off their chests in the name of trying to find a cure?” he asked the gathered mish-mash of mutants. Hooves shuffled and glances were exchanged, but nopony stepped forward.
“I’ve got something,” Gale said, approaching the mounds of dirt, “Something I’ve been holding on to since our first day in this world.” She gave her fellow Order-naries a meaningful glance, and then looked down at the buried seeds and said, “My real name is Carmilla deGrange.” The ground stirred and two green shoots sprang up. “That’s all I get for that?” the brown earth pony said in disappointment.
“They just need more encouragement,” Gold Heart said, patting her friend on the back. She turned her attention to the seedlings and said, “My real name is Rachelle M’Dale.” The seedlings grew taller and thicker and sprouted a few leaves.
“My name is Ray M’Dale,” Soul Mage confessed, and a large bud appeared on each plant. The three out-worlders looked expectantly at their currently draconic leader.
“What?” he said, affronted, “What do I have to offer? I’m Ash, I always have been since I renounced being Meis Thamule, and you three know I never speak a deliberate falsehood.” The flowers remained as they were.
“You never lie,” Gale said, “but that doesn’t prevent you from keeping secrets you don’t want to tell. Surely there’s something you can confess to everypony here.” Ash bit his lip and looked around nervously.
Soul smirked evilly. “Yeah,” he said, “How about…” An ethereal blue tendril shot out from his horn, plucked Rari-mouse from her current perch on Twilight’s back, and brought her over to hang in front of Ash’s face. “Tell Rarity how you really feel about her.”
“Put me down!” Rarity protested, “This is undignified!”
“Yeah,” Ash said, “don’t go dragging others into this against their will.”
“Oh, I’d be quite willing to straight answer about me from you,” the cultured rodent said, “I just don’t appreciate being held up and tossed about like a prop.” Soul blushed sheepishly and gently set Rarity down on his head. “Thank you,” Rarity said primly, “Now, Ash?”
Ash screwed his eyes shut and massaged his temples, muttering under his breath. “Rarity,” he said at last, “you’re a wonderful pony, cultured and fashionable without being annoyingly superior about it. Ever since we first met you’ve insisted on seeing only the positive side of personality. I appreciate that, but I can’t return the sentiment like you’d want me to. I… I just don’t feel like I deserve someone as good as you.” The flowers quivered and exploded into full bloom and Ash quickly snatched them up and slipped into the spa before anyone could reply.
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Heart's Desire and Poison Joke? Interesting hybrid... Though that makes me wonder why Zecora...
Ah, of course. She was shunned when she first arrived in Ponyville, so of course she'd sometimes want to be seen as normal. Of course, losing her ability to rhyme would be a bit of a handicap to her.
Anyway, this is another great chapter, and I look forward to more, both here, on Sohndar, and on your Ask the Order-Naries blog!
Poor Ash.
His confession will not quell Rarity's interest, but rather the opposite, as she now knows he does value her... but not himself enough to pursue a romantic relationship. Which means that Rarity is going to be seeking the mysteries of Ashen Blaze's past, the sins he feels hold him back...
Poor poor Ash. It was one thing when Rarity was just pining for him, now she's got solid targets for how to make the relationship progress.
Hmm, very interesting.
Hope the patchwork remedy works at least partially.
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And he knows it. Why else do do you think he made a hasty exit once the flowers bloomed?
Very nice, that explaination for the hybrid makes a lot of sense.
And yeah, Ash just painted a big ol target on himself.
I promised I'd comment more on your works, and I haven't done that for this story yet, so here goes.
As if poison joke wasn't bad enough, now there's a mutation of it! Curious to find out who's responsible for developing such a malicious concoction. Though, it seems to affect fanon conceptions of the characters more than anything else.
One thing that's odd to me while reading this series, is the traveling group of thespians that Trixie has rounded up. I dunno, I just find it weird that she's willing to allow others into her act. She always struck me as a one-pony show. It seems to have calmed her down and become more social, so at least she's growing as a character.
Who's going to be the guinea pig for the cure? Guess I'll have to tune in next time to see!
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Have you read Multi-mental in Manehatten yet? Trixie has a bit of character development there that leads up to her role in this story.
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Yep. I read that a long time ago though, so I've forgotten some of the details. I actually didn't know that that story ties into this one.
Poison Joke + Heart's Desire, now the craziness all makes some amount of sense. Though I'm certainly curios how some of the more bizarre transformations apply to this Twisted Desire breed.
Real names for the Order-naries, hadn't been expecting that. Hardly the kind of confession I'd expect to get even a wiggle from the seeds of truth, but interesting enough I suppose. Of course then to get them in full bloom you have to go and quash my lady's unrequited desires.
Oh well, more Rarity for me.
Next chapter.