“Ah!” said Rarity, as the door to Carousel Boutique opened. “Just the dragonequus I was hoping to see!”
“Indeed.” said Discord. “I do believe it's your turn to try to surprise me today?”
“And I just know you'll be surprised, when you see what I have for you!” said Rarity.
“Let me guess,” said Discord, drily, “some form of clothing?”
“Well, yes.” admitted Rarity. “But I just know that you'll be surprised at how good it'll look on you. After all, if you weren't surprised, then you'd be wearing something similar already, surely? Ah, but first! We need to get you looking your best! To the spa!”
“The spa?” asked Discord. “But, but I like my fur like this! It's all chaotic!”
“Chaotic is right.” said Rarity, disapprovingly. “I can see that Aloe and Lotus will have their work cut out. But not to worry, they can deal with all sorts of coats, why, they'll even put a shine on your scales!”
“My scales are not meant to be shiny!” objected Discord, as Rarity herded him out of the boutique and towards the spa.
Rarity simply shook her head, and smiled. “Typical male.” she said. “You've never been inside a spa in your life, have you?”
“As it happens,” said Discord, “I have. I spent a whole two weeks in one once.”
“Two weeks?” asked Rarity. “My goodness, that is a while. What sort of treatment did you get that took that long?”
“None.” said Discord. “I was a statue at the time.”
Rarity stared at Discord.
“There was a shipping error, okay?” he said. “Took the Princess two weeks to get all the receipts sorted out and find out where I was. I spent two weeks sitting in the waiting room, made of stone.”
“Ah.” said Rarity. “So you've never actually been for a spa treatment, then. It's wonderfully relaxing, really. You should really give it a try. No time like the present, right?”
* * *
“I am not relaxed.” insisted Discord, frowning, with his arms folded. “Not at all.”
“Oh, but look how shiny your scales are!” pointed out Rarity. “And how neat your coat is! Why, you look ten times better than you did this morning!”
“...really?” asked Discord.
“Certainly, darling. Would I lie to you?”
“Yes.” said Discord, in a resigned tone of voice. “Yes, to save Equestria, you would.”
“Perhaps I would.” admitted Rarity. “But I'm not lying to you now. You really do look better after the spa treatment. Now, let us go back to the boutique and look over a few creations...”
* * *
“Not bad.” admitted Discord. “I quite like the way you made each sleeve out of a different type of material.”
“One has to take into account the nature of the creature that will be wearing the ensemble when designing it.” said Rarity. “In your case – you're one of the more, well, the more unique of the creatures I've designed for. So I decided that a suitable costume should embrace the chaos that gives you your form. Symmetry in the outfit is nothing more than a reflection, ha, of the symmetry of the pony beneath the outfit; in your case, symmetry is entirely lacking, and therefore the perfect outfit for you should not be symmetrical. Half-a-dozen different types of material – it would have been seven, dear, but my silk's gone missing – all in different colours, separated by irregular boundaries. So what do you think of it?”
“Hrmmmm... not bad.” said Discord, repeating himself. “Of course, the colours don't clash nearly enough, the wool would shrink in the wash the first time I tried to clean it and tear away from the cotton blend, the gem distribution is far too orderly...”
Rarity's eye twitched. “Oh, well.” she said, with a large smile. “It was only a first approximation, as they say... perhaps we could try some accessories? A hat? A small pendant, perhaps?”
* * *
By the time the dragonequus left the boutique, the sun had already begun to set.
“Well.” he said, opening his suitcase and allowing his tower to reappear. “At least now I know for certain that my natural beauty cannot be improved upon.” He stretched, and then opened the door and walked inside. “And tomorrow,” he said, just before the door shut behind him, “on to Sweet Apple Acres...”
XD have Twilight go for broke at the very end and have her make out with him or something. That wouldn't be just surprising but downright heart attack inducing
3376073
If he dosen't write that then I´ll turn every stone to find somebody who writes an alternate ending where that happens
I need my ship
I expect that Rarity could eventually make something that Discord approved of, but it would take months of effort, most of which would be ruined if he had reason to pin the design down at any point. So months of effort without him present and without anyone feeding information to Rarity. An entire rack of speculative draconequus outfits would be needed to find even one thing that he would wear in preference to being naked.
Since he isn't expecting such a thing to exist, it would be a good surprise.
Ah, Rarity the misandrist. Lmao. Imagine her reaction to Zephyr. No way in howdy he doesn’t spend hours getting treatments done.
My lord I really like this story, I actually LOVE how subdued Discord is in this, its not a state we see him in very often and I think him being really bored and hoping against hope for the first surprise he's had in ages is a good excuse for him to not pop off as much as he usually would. Not only that but its cool to see a good excuse for all of the Mane Six to have their unique interactions with him to. To often its just Flutters and him, and as much as I enjoy Dislestia and Discolight I don't see them interact a LOT outside of the romance most of the time either.
Take a mustache