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Applejack and Rainbow Dash are out for a run in the woods when an accident leaves the two in an awkward situation. Rated M for sex. Obviously AppleDash pairing.
No likes or dislikes and no comments? Once again...
It is time to explore the unknown again! Come Tonto! We're off!
This has to be one of the best clopfics I've read yet! Seriously very good job here, it makes what I'm currently writing look terrible. I love AppleDash with a passion and you managed to capture my headcanon of them both in the same story, plus you gave it an actual plot line (no pun intended) and managed to make it still stay cute while being sexy. 
Thumbs up, check
Follow writer, check
Favorite story, check 
I really liked this. If I had to point out some issues I'd have to say that I found the whole situation a little difficult to visualise in my head. It was alright by the end, but it took a long time for me to do so. Maybe it's just me. There were also a couple of uses of "you're" rather than "your", but other than that it was a very well written story.
>>273197 Thank you! I know, it was hard to describe and I was afraid it would be hard to visualize, but I hope it didn't ruin the flow too much. If I can figure out how to describe the situation better, I'll edit it when I get the chance. And I really need to start focusing on "you're" and "your", that's not the first time I've gotten that critique. But thank you very much! It's nice to hear about my first submission to FIMFiction!!
All I got to say
For a clopfic, that was very well written. Especially bringing actual affection between the two into play rather than, like someone else said, 'let's just have sex.' And I could completely see AJ's ticklishness. Because I've been ticklish on my stomach as well, so I could visualize it really well. Way to connect with your audience.
I have no words to express how fantastic this is. Sequels, please!
You mentioned that this was your first submission to FIMfiction; do you have work posted anywhere else? (Here's hoping that you've got loads of AppleDash squirreled away somewhere.) In lieu of that, would you please give us a short list of recommended fic? I'd love to know what you love to read!
This is probably the first clop-fic I have ever read with a legitimate story line behind it. Most of the time It is something like spiderces or something like it. Im not a huge fan of this kind of stuff but I enjoyed it because it actually made....sense
oh and lemme give you a hint on your next story should be about:
>>277414 I have a DA account, but I only have two stories on it so far, one of which has AppleDash in it. I could note you the account name if they have notes on FIMfiction. Aside from that, I wish I had more time to read fanfiction, but I rarely do. I have some I'm interested in reading, and I would if I had more time, but sitting down to read is just not feasible at the moment. The one I am really following is "Those Blue Wings" by Thcernobog. I can't think of any others at the moments - I usually read one shots if I do read, heh.
>>bubba_rocks This is the second time today I've heard of Spiderces, but I have no idea what that is! And sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not a big FlutterMac fan. Maybe some day I'll try my hoof at it, but I'm more a TwiMac, Flutterpie fan.
>>Dracoliat If you insist O.o
>>Tchernobog I was wondering if YOU were going to find this, too. That completes my checklist of Appledash fans I wanted to hear from, heh.
>>Doomlord1234 No pressure...
I know you've heard this a lot, but that was honestly one of the best clopfics I've read! Normally clopfics don't get me..excited but this one did. Just amazing. And it had a plot behind it that was well thought out! Kudos on this m'lady! Look forward to reading more of your writings.
You have a dA? If so i'd love to watch you on there as I check that more often than this.
>>272357This story is awesome! And so is that picture! Because that is totally what the empire sends you guys out to do, right? Go to dangerous new lands and on difficult quests in little squads of six or so, just to alleviate your ancient and tyrannical leaders....boredom.......oh no.......I sense a new fanfic in the near future.
>>277904 Grazie! ...is it a big deal to get Knighty's attention? I mean, I looked at his profile to see why he had the crown by his name, so I know he created the site. ...I'm new, I don't know these things... And I know, the feature box?!?! What the hell!? I can't believe it!
Sir or madam, let me tell you a tale. It was a cold dark night for Clone Unit K-711. He was on the moon or Tungda 3 when an accident with experimental teleports sent him to another time and another galaxy. This time and this galaxy to be particular. Now Clone is a student and commentor. He explores stories like this one and puts up a comment that indicates whether it is good or bad. In this case it is good. So I am in no way tied to the Empire, they have been dead for approximately 5.3 million years I gather.
Well, congratulations on an excellent read! After going through your recent blog post, I must say that you shouldn't be surprised on how well this story was received! For just having one chapter, you got over eleven thousand words, AND you had (as many people have pointed out) an excellent plot to go with it! 
Also, this story was good enough to draw me out of just reading and in to actual posting, seeing as this is my first for fimfiction.
Thanks again for an excellent read! 
favorite line:
"But that would be wrong."
good story friend
that is all
kthanxbai
The lead in was a little quick, and Dash's motivations felt a little rushed. AJ's characterization was quite pleasant. Some verbiage was GREATLY over-saturated at points, even within the same paragraph (I think I saw the word 'mare' four times in the same sentence once). Sex scenes were a little lacking in strength I felt.
Not bad.
>>278908 Yeah, lead ins are hard for me with one shots. Dash's motivation? You know, that might be a head canon problem for me - it made sense to me, and I probably didn't explain it well. Thanks on the AJ's characterization ;) Yes, I am verbose - a problem I will always struggle with >_< And I do hate repeating words in the same paragraph. I think after I let the fic sit for a while longer, I'll go back and try and fix that "mare" problem. Right now, I can't even noticed it, you know? It's too fresh for me to see it now. And you're the first person to say that about the sex scenes - I FELT THE SAME WAY! I've never written something like this before, so I KNOW I was holding back. You know what they say, practice makes perfect.
Thank you for your review. It gives me satisfaction to know that I'm not imagining my own writing issues, but to also bring light to what I need to watch out for. I'm always learning. ;)
Not bad! I think I want to see a sequel... 
Criticism:
You seem to have a little trouble with Dash's voice. I mean, really, would she ever say "decomposing" when she could say "rotten" instead? Both AJ and Dash tend to stick to the simplest vocabulary possible. Also, as I saw pointed out in another story, the word AJ uses for "a little" is "mite", not "might". A "mite" is a "mighty" small amount.
I had a little trouble following the action when Dash was pinning AJ while trying to reach around her. You probably would have benefitted from slowing down a little and explaining their actions, responses, and positioning more thoroughly. I'd probably pick it all up on a second read-through, but I found myself a little confused at the time.
I felt that Dash got a little rapey around the beginning of the sex session. "Here, I’ll even help you"? No means no, Rainbow Dash. 
Finally, I thought Dash telling AJ how turned on she was the wrong thing to say, both times she said it. She's supposed to be trying to set a nervous mare at ease, and those comments come off as self-centered and creepy rather than sympathetic and reassuring.
>>280151 Yes, voice - I was more concerned with AJ to concentrate on RD. You have a point. Sorry about the difficulty following it - it was hard for me to describe, I was afraid it wouldn't come through right. I'll try slowing it down next time. The "here, I'll help you," thing....Okay, I'm sorry, I totally threw that in that for my own enjoyment And for the comments from Dash, I was actually going for a bit of self-centered, self-absorbed...certainly not creepy!! O.o Yikes.
Thanks for the review! Sequel? Uh...we'll see. 
On the contrary, I love good descriptions! It was just hard to visualize the treetrunk, and again I was aiming more at repetition of the same word than anything else. And I know how you feel about not seeing stuff, I make my pre-readers editors so that a lot, and EVEN THEN I can go over a mostly finalized version of my fic a dozen times and still find typos and word mixups after I published.
I've also not written clop before (too caught up on other fic ideas ) so I can't give too much advice there, but practice does indeed help. 
I've read quite a few clopfics in my time, and I take a sort of pride in knowing how to make them good, romantic stories instead of AND THEN THEY FUCKED trash.
You did almost everything right. There were minor grammar errors (in tact as opposed to intact), but they were very minor and the overwhelming quality of the story more than made up for them.
In a word: exquisite. I'm really looking forward to more of your writing.
I don't quite know why yet, but I liked it. (I don't even know why I began to read it, but still... ). Well written. I liked your approach on Applejack - her shyness and irritation somehow seemed very appropriate for her.
Summarizing:
Ahhh, it happens again. Yet another talented author on this site keeping me from finishing my course work. Well worth it. Gotta say, one of the best AppleDash fics I've read to date. Keep it up! Definitely worth a track and like and what not. Great work overall 
Visual of the stump > My head
Hi I am kohinoor.
I really love this story.
RD is so good at self-control.......watching her slowly lose control and finally get the mare she wanted is so great.
Especially when she unintentionally pleasured AJ .I just want to yell to her like "DO IT DO IT" !
But AJ is just such a mood destroyer. Ah don’t wanna ruin this moment ?
Oh AJ you already ruined the moment...................................
Poor dashie, so much torment before you can get her.
I am translating it into Chinese version hope you don't mind.
Good story, my issues with the story are basically the same as others. Dash's voice seemed a bit off, grammar wasn't a problem for me though. And coming from me, trust me, other than commas I'm a huge critic. I'm also a huuge Appledash fan, favorite ship, I'm just not as known as others (only just under 4k views on my story 
) and I'm a huge critic. So while you might not know me, trust me when I say that getting a good review from me is a good thing 
Also I gotta say, dayum did you do Applejack perfectly. I'm proud. Can't find a single problem with her imo, spot on. 
I´ve read 4 clopfics.
I hated 3 and loved 1, guess which! xD
Nice story, kept in character for both of them and easy to visualize, too.
Maybe you´ll do a sequel? That so was a cliffhanger at the end!
“We should do this more often,” Applejack said, a hint of sultriness in her voice.
Rainbow Dash smiled. “Without the stump,” she said.
“Yeah,” Applejack agreed. “We can use rope next time.” Rainbow Dash blushed feverishly at the thought. Applejack looked to the mare and smiled. “And maybe you can be the helpless one next time.”
Just leaving that here, because I seriously loved this story:
The portrayal of both AJ and RD is excellent. You got their personalities and emotions perfectly done. It was fun to read. :D Thank you so much for this story. <3
>>364586 My reaction when I saw your name and that you had commented and tracked me: "RATOFDRAWN!!!!!" ((I totally follow you on DA, yet I have not seen this picture yet)). My second reaction when I saw your comment: 
I quite literally got up and walked out of the room. I needed a moment to digest the epicness of it all. Oh, and I'm pretty sure my face turned red.
I can't even look at it too long, it is far too epic.
Really, I just....wow. I don't even know what to say! Thank you so much! Seriously, this made my week. Thank you!
Good sir/madam,
I must say this was... interesting, to say the least.
This was indeed, a very invigorating tale you told.
I do not lie when I say that you sent my heart racing and my hand shaking.
But alas, the closest thing you got me to do was maybe a blush.
Do not take this for some set-down. This is a brilliant piece of literature.
I do not believe that I can find a more well written 'clopfic', if that is what it's called.
I must share two things with you though.
One, This is the first 'clopfic' I have read. You have left a great first impression.
Two, You have earned every single like, favorite and track for this piece, including my own.
Everyone who disliked this, are either jealous of your ability, or don't like the idea of 'clopfic's.
To your future in fanfiction writing, and to your good health,
Cheers!
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