(Humans in Humanized Equestria)
A fan-made side-story to the Apple Scratch series made by Mariacheat-Brony, set between Apple Scratch: A Summer At the Farm and Apple Scratch: Onward to the Equestia Games. Will stay true to Apple Scratch's canon, but will be considered non-canon by the original author unless told otherwise.
Synopsis: Brandon and Brianna Sky don't know how they landed themselves in Equestria, nor how they managed to find a humanized Equestria at that. They might already be bronies, but they have to get used to the story of most ponies...er, people they know getting switched around in one way or another. Fortunately, the Apple sisters Vinyl Scratch and Applejack will give them the basic background they need to get used to this new Equestria for however long their stay will be. What happens after that...well, that's anyone's guess.
Original Apple Scratch author, Mariacheat-Brony's page: https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Mariacheat-Brony
Criticism welcomed, as I'm working on a completely different story at the time and would like to know how I can improve. ^_^
Oh 'ell, first well-written self-insert I've seen.
Fine job.
Not bad for a start
not much critic to say other than edit the format a little
I'm wondering what happens next
I will be awaiting more from this. You're off to a good start, keep it up!
3161253
Wow, wasn't expecting that right away. Thanks for reading!
3161879
Don't worry, I'll get the hang of the formatting. I'll see what I can do for the next chapter.
3162008
Thanks! I'll be sure to keep it up.
A lot of authors 'round these parts like to add an extra line in between paragraphs and dialogue and such. For example:
Also, when a character is still speaking but you break into their dialogue like with that first bit there, you don't need to add that period after "sitting up".
As for tabbing each new line, you don't have to. There is an option to indent your whole story simply by clicking the button and it should pretty your story up for you.
Anyway, enough about that, this is a pretty interesting story and I'll be watching it closely (and I like the Apple Scratch world, has lots of Vinyl Scratch in it, which I approve of). Good luck, brave new writer, onwards and upwards!
3162118
Yeah, I was curious if the extra space was useful. I was going to check how many stories I've read do a double space, and now I know. Thanks.
Silly me for missing that indent button.
Oh well, that'll definitely save me some time in editing. Thanks a bunch for that!
Yeah, I should also work on implied actions, cause obviously jolting awake would involve sitting up or jumping up, since that's the whole purpose. Thanks for the reminder, I'll be sure to take that into account!
...Man, I love the pony emoticons a lot.
3162143 De nada.
Saw this mentioned on Mariacheat-Brony's blog post. I have to say, I already like the story and the character dynamic. Though I do have to wonder when AJ's going to start bombarding the twins with questions...
eeeeehhh, I'll keep an eye on it. seems like it could go interesting places, at least.
3162808
Oh, very soon. AJ will get her interroga-I mean, questioning.
3163153
Thanks! Glad it seems interesting so far.
Good chapter.
And is your story already written out and you're uploading, or are you working on the chapters and uploading them as you finish? Because if it's the latter, you might wanna cool your jets or you'll burn yourself out, friend.
3166011
The latter. I just had some butterflies about this one, not necessarily from burn out. I still had plenty of fun writing this, so I don't think that'll be a problem. I have a slight outline of what I'll do for the next couple chapters, but nothing set it stone yet...though, I do have a certain place I eventually wanna get to that I'll have a LOT of fun writing with.
3166027 Good luck to you then, mate.
...
...
Button Mash?
3216691
I can neither confirm, nor deny that.
don't know just yet how I feel as its only the first chapter but I can say this your vinyl feels like the main cannon vinyl of this verse so that's a plus
ok I like this
3766685
I had a feeling the new Equestria Games chapter might have something to do with that mass of Apple Scratch Updates...
Anyway, thanks for checking this out. I've gotten the hint to start writing for this again, so don't worry about that huge update gap.
3766759 sweet this world as well as its main deserve more likes then they have. yours feel more light hearted then the main was that your plan when you started?
3767844
Yeah, it's supposed to be a bit more light-hearted. I like writing stories that can put people in a good mood, so it's a consistent element of just about anything I'll be uploading here. I can be serious when I want to, but I'm more about having a good time than anything else.
It's kinda why I haven't updated most of my stories in a while, since I tend to just wing it without a preset start-to-finish story in mind.
3768252 well it works and as you have been so kind as to type back to a commenter such as my self im going to add you to my writers list
3768367
Thanks! Hope you enjoy the other stories, too.