ON AIR
***********
Chapter 4
On Air
***********
It was just past noon when Vinyl, Octavia, and Spirit walked into the studio; both mares could see the smile on Spirit's face as he looked around. "Alright kiddo this is one of the many places me and your mom works." Vinyl informed, as she smiled at Spirit who only looked around, then noticed the chairs and the mic's. "Ah I see you've noticed our thrones of power."
"They're our desk Vinyl." Octavia corrected, after she rolled her eyes, but then smiled at Spirit. "This is where I and Vinyl perform our radio show."
"Cool." Vinyl smiled, as she and nudged Spirit slightly. "I remember listening to the first broadcast."
"The orphanage let you?"
"Not exactly, seemed the radio at the mic got turned to the station and the knob went missing." Vinyl smirked, as she looked at Octavia.
"See he was already slightly corrupted before we adopted him." Spirit smiled, as he walked up and climbed up into the chair that Vinyl normally sat in.
"Hey give it a spin kiddo, give me your best introduction." Octavia couldn't help but feel happy as she saw Spirit's face light up.
"You mean it?"
"Yeah go ahead, best thing about being boss is I get to make up the rules." As Spirit looked back at the controls and all the buttons and dials it was all really too much for him to understand, before he had a great idea. As his horn started to light up Octavia and Vinyl listened to a melody that almost sounded out of this world.
"Hello all you Colts and Fillies out there, this is the lord of melodies and the master of illusion coming at you from K-COLT radio station, the name is Spirit Scratch and I'm here to take care of that music itch in your soul, so sit back, relax, and leave everything to me." with that Spirit stopped and looked at Vinyl and Octavia. "How’s that?"
"That was great kiddo." Vinyl said, as she walked up moved Spirit to one side. "You heard it folks, the Vinyl Scratch has been taken over tonight by Spirit Scratch, but don't let his young voice fool you this kid knows his stuff."
"Vinyl stop goofing around we have to get ready we're almost on air." Octavia corrected, as she got to her desk.
"No we're already on air Octy, Spirit just introduced himself."
"I WHAT!?" Spirit squeaked, just as he looked up at the sign seeing that it was lit up. "B-b-b-but I’m not ready, I don't know the first thing about these controls what am I supposed to do with all these buttons and dials? Like what does this button do? (*FART!*)... I swear that wasn't me." Spirit removed his hoof from the console and then looked at Vinyl. "I don't know how to work this stuff how am I supposed to do anything?"
"Just be yourself kiddo, come on I know you have the touch. All I'm doing is giving you the power, and we'll be right here if you need our help." Spirit gulped as he looked at the mic again, now knowing that allot of ponies were listening in.
"Vinyl you can't be serious."
"Why not, we do goofy things on the show all the time, go on Spirit just have some fun and enjoy."
"B-but."
"How about this try, it for a few minutes and if you don't like it you can stop."
"O-o.k." Spirit looked around for a few minutes before he stopped and took a deep breath. "Alright let's see where this train wreck takes us."
"We're seriously doing this?" Octavia asked, in disbelief as she looked at Vinyl.
"Oh come on it'll be fun, go on kiddo." with that Spirit started to play music thought it wasn't from any record,
as Vinyl sat back and smiled as she waited for the music to stop. "See wasn't that fun?" Vinyl asked, as she looked at Spirit who nodded then looked back at the mic.
"Hold on a moment Spirit, we have to talk about our sponsors."
"Sponsors?" Spirit looked at Octavia who nodded.
"Yeah kiddo, they're the ones that pay us to have so much fun."
"Oh I like sponsors then, they helped get me adopted."
"That's right, who is our sponsors today Octy."
"Well today's show is being brought to you by," Octavia smiled as she looked at who the day's sponsor was then looked at Spirit. "I think Spirit should do this one." Octavia handed Spirit the index card that had the information on it getting him to smile.
"Cool, today's show is being brought to you by Fizzy Wigs toy store in Canterlot, from one foal to all the others out there you should go here for toys, this place is super cool and has all kinds of toys from bikes to train and video games this is the toy store for all foals, even the foal at heart, and they just got a shipment in of the new action ponies figures, my mom got me the new Orion figure. Defiantly a place to score that hard to find toy." Vinyl started to laugh, as she fell to the floor getting Spirit to look at her confused. "Did I do it wrong?"
"Well you're supposed to read what's on the card, but what you did was good." Octavia said, as she tried not to laugh.
"Oh." Spirit looks down at the card then flips it over and then back. "This doesn't do that store justice, doesn't even say how really awesome Mr. Wigs is, and he is way past cool."
"Spirit we're still on the air." Octavia pointed out getting Spirit to look at the sign then smile.
"You heard it hear everypony Mr. Wigs is way past cool, almost as cool as my parents."
"Ah Octy isn't that sweet, he thinks we're cool."
"Vinyl, remember, show." Octavia pointed to the sign getting Vinyl to nod.
"Alright kiddo enough sponsor stuff why not give us another tune but this time give them the wubs?" As Spirit started to play another song, and while he did Octavia pulled Vinyl to one side.
"What's up?"
"This is all fun, but we can't let him put on the entire show himself."
"Why not?"
"Vinyl, he's a foal, there are such things and foal labor laws."
"Yeah I know, but he's having so much fun."
"Yes but at some point we have to take the controls back."
"Alright, how about after this song?"
"That will be fine."
"I can interview him." Vinyl said, as she headed back to Spirit as the song started to end.
"What?" As the song finished Vinyl used her magic and levitated Spirit over to the guest chair.
"Did I do something wrong?"
"Nope, it's just time for our interview."
"Interview?"
"Yep, I'm pretty sure our listeners would love to know more about the little foal who has been keeping them entertained for the past few minutes, come on listeners you call in and ask the questions this time, but remember he's still a foal so nothing to mature." As the phone rings Vinyl picks up the phone. "Yellow this is the Vinyl Scratch."
"Yes, Crazy horse-pony, we are normal wing type horse-ponies." A voice that was clearly a Diamond Dog said, getting Octavia to role her eyes.
"Not this again." Octavia put her head in her hoofs and shook it.
"Alright I'll bite."
"Why would you encourage them?"
"Oh it's just for fun, what's your question for our little colt caller?"
"Yes we our wondering is your refrigerator running?" Octavia didn't look very amused by the question, and Vinyl looked board and was about to hang up the phone.
"Why yes it is caller, I've been tracking it for weeks now. If any pony out there sees a red refrigerator with a lightning bolt on the front and cool vibrations written in black crayon on the side can you please give us a call?" Both Vinyl and Octavia looked at Spirit a little shocked by his answer.
"I uh,... we'll give you a call back." the caller hangs up.
"You think I should have warned them of the Killer Tomatoes in the vegetable drawer?" Spirit asked, as he smiled at Vinyl who started to laugh getting Octavia to break before all three started to laugh, only to stop when the phone rang again. This time it was Octavia who picked up the phone, or rather she snatched it away from Vinyl before she could pick it up.
"Hello this is the Vinyl scratch do you have a question?"
"Hey Octavia, long time." Vinyl smiled at the sound of Spitfires voice.
"Oh perfect, Spirit meet your aunty Spit shine."
"VINYL!"
"Hi aunty Spit Shine."
"SPIRIT!"
"What I do." Spirit sounded slightly scared, getting Vinyl to walk over and pretend to comfort him.
"Oh there, there Spirit don't let mean mommy Octy scare you."
"What, but you, it's your fault."
"Sure it is I made you yell at him."
"I just don't know what I did wrong Mama Vinyl." Spirit said, in an over exaggerated voice as he hugged Vinyl.
"Oh there, there mama Vinyl is here." Vinyl said, almost laughing, frustrating Octavia.
"I see she's already corrupted him." Spitfire pointed out, with a bit of a laugh.
"And it took such little effort." Vinyl added getting Spirit to laugh. "Now for real, joking aside, Spirit say hello to your aunt Spitfire."
"Aunt?"
"Well yeah, you're like a sister to me, figured it would be only right for you to be like an aunt to him."
"Well I'm flattered, can't wait to see the little guy in person."
"Spitfire is my aunt?" Spirit asked, as he looked at Vinyl.
"Seems like it kiddo." Spitfire answered from the phone getting Spirit to smile brightly.
"I GOT THE COOLEST FAMILY EVER!" Spirit yelled, as he started to jump around the studio, getting all three mares to laugh.
"Hey come on Spirit, remember she has to ask you a question."
"Oh right sorry mama Vinyl." Spirit climbed back into his chair and smiled.
"Alright Spitfire what kind of question you got for our little guy?"
"Well I would ask him what he looks like but I figured I’ll be seeing him in the flesh in a few weeks, so my question is, what is it like having Vinyl and Octavia as parents?"
"Oh that's a good question." Vinyl said, as she sat in her chair and then looked at Spirit.
"They're both really nice, Octavia is fair and nice, much better then Hard Spoon."
"Who?"
"Long story we'll fill you in when you get here." Octavia answered, as she smiled at Spirit.
"And Vinyl, she's nice, really, really nice, and when both her an Octavia are around I feel like I can do anything, and nothing can stop me."
"Well that sounds really sweet, anything else?" Spitfire asked, getting Vinyl and Octavia to look at each other slightly confused.
"We have a cat, well little kitten really, what kind is it mom?"
"She's a little orange tabby cat."
"Yeah and her name is Little Scratch, she's very friendly, and Mama Vinyl said she seems to like me allot."
"Yeah kiddo, we put you to bed yesterday and Octavia tried to take her away, and put her in her little cat bed, when the little fuzz ball lifted her head and hissed."
"Oh, well if she wants to share my bed I don't mind."
"Oh there's more." Octavia said, as she smiled at Vinyl. "Care to tell him or should I?"
"You wouldn't." Octavia only turned to Spirit with a big smile on her face.
"Well you see when Vinyl tried to take her away she used her magic, and levitated Little Scratch to the living room where her bed is."
"Yeah?" Spirit was slightly confused by what was going on, but knew that there was still more to come, mostly because Vinyl was started to turn red in the face.
"And then she started to gloat."
"Octy I didn't gloat."
"Yes you did, you levitated her up to your face and said and I quote "Can't scratch what you can't reach." un quote."
"That wasn't gloating that was stating a fact."
"Yes right before you set her down on her bed."
"Then what happened?" Spitfire asked, and what sounded like popcorn being chewed right afterwards.
"Oh this is the best part; Little Scratch not only hissed at Vinyl she ran and climbed up her right fore-leg smacked Vinyl's shades off with her tail and then ran back to Spirit's room and jumped back into bed with him. When Vinyl tried to walk in Scratch hissed just before she ran under his bed."
"She won this battle but not the war, tonight she sleeps in her bed."
"Why?" Spirit asked, not knowing what the big deal was.
"Because she needs to learn that she needs to sleep in her bed, and it's much safer for her, what would happen if you rolled over in the night and on top of her?" Octavia explained, as she tried to make Spirit understand.
"Oh, I don't want to squish her, I guess it is better if she sleeps in her bed."
"Great now that, that is settled anything else Spitfire?"
"Got any embarrassing questions you want to ask kiddo?" Spitfire asked, as she snickered a little over the phone.
"Spitfire, Spirit is a well behaved little colt, no matter what certain orphanage principles may think, he wouldn't dream of asking you anything embarrassing." Octavia defended, as she seemed a little shocked by the question.
"W-well I do have one question, but I don't know if I should ask it or not." Reluctantly Spirit started to rub the back of his head and tried to look innocent.
"Alright kiddo, go for it." Vinyl said, as she smiled at Octavia.
"Vinyl I don't think this is the time or place for this."
"Oh come on Octy how bad can it be."
"Well it's just last night or rather early this morning I woke up and I was hearing this funny noise."
"I don't think this is the proper kind of question to be asking right now Spirit." Octavia said, with a deep red blush, getting Vinyl to smile.
"Oh come on Octy our listeners already know we're married now, we can't have them thinking this is a loveless marriage."
"Should I continue?"
"Sure Kiddo."
"No you shouldn't."
"Uh."
"Alright fine how about this, Spirit what did you see?"
"VINYL!"
"You were playing the accordion." After Spirit said these words the room went silent for several minutes, those listening in on the radio would have thought the station went down for some reason, until the sound of Spitfire's laughter broke the silence which was followed by Octavia falling on the floor laughing.
"Uh, you must have been dreaming."
"I was?"
"You were, because DJ-Pon3 doesn’t play an accordion, I’m the master of the turn tables."
"Except when she puts on concerts and barrows the sheriffs Instrument of choice." Spitfire added, getting Octavia to laugh a little more.
"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA oh Celestia I can't breathe." As Octavia continued to laugh uncontrollably Vinyl only rolled her eyes.
"Oh come on Vinyl you know I play the-uh rockiness music in all of Equestria, I wouldn't be caught dead playing such a lame Instrument. Colts and fillies we'll be right back after I get my co-host to stop laughing." with that Vinyl turned on some music and turned off the mics. "Oh come on Octy it wasn't that funny."
"Yes (*gasp*) it was, you thought he was going to say something else."
"Well yeah maybe, but I was just going to tell him we were wrestling."
"You wrestle?" with this Octavia seem to find the power to control herself, and quickly covered Vinyl's mouth.
"It's nothing, you've done grate so far."
"So I'm not in trouble?"
"No, you’re not in trouble. Is he Vinyl?"
" No I think the only one that should be in trouble for this is Spitfire."
"I second."
"I third." Spirit said, with a smile getting his parents to smile.
"I can still hear you, you know." with that Vinyl and Octavia turned and saw the receiver on the floor where Octavia had dropped it. As Vinyl walked up and picked up the phone she smiled slightly. "You are such a bad influence on my colt Spitfire."
"Well I did learn from the best." As the two friends shared a laugh Octavia smiled, as she looked at Spirit who seemed just as happy.
"Well what do you think of your crazy family so far?" Spirit turned and only gave Octavia a hug.
"It's the best if the world." As Octavia hugged him back and smiled a tear of joy ran down her face.
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Vinyl: ya did great kid. Our listeners are gonna love you.
Spirit: Oh and mom?
Vinyl: hmm?
Spirit: I was scared to ask earlier but why did you have your head between mama'-
Vinyl:.... You're grounded.
will Celestia learn about the treatment of foals in the orphange and royally punish blueblood?
*turns twilight crazy* it's Vinyl and I! not the other way around.
Other than that, I didn't see any other errors! Great job and I can't wait for the next chapter!
6002054
Celestia and Luna already have an idea, because they stepped in and helped Vinyl and Octavia adopt Spirit, beginning of Chapter 2, where Vinyl and Octavia explained what had happened while Spirit was asleep.
I am going to be writing a trial chapter so stay tuned.
6002256
CS: pats Twilight on the head) I'm terribly sorry, I do mix up that rule a little, that and my grammar check didn't catch it, but shouldn't you be somewhere right now?
Twilight: what?
CS: Yeah shouldn't you be in a meeting with the princesses, and the Dragon queen talking about trade agreements?
Twilight: what, I don't have a meeting today.
CS: you sure let me check (pulls a white rabbit dressed in a vest and glasses holding a watch.) Is she late?
Rabbit: you're late, you're late, for a very important date.
Twilight: I don't have any meetings today I think I would know my own schedule.
CS: well then let's check your list. (snaps his fingers and starts to gown down a long scroll.) Ah here it is, at the very bottom, looks like Spike was running out of room so he wrote it really small. (shows Twilight a meeting time written in just under the last thing on her checklist.)
Twilight: B-but that would mean.
Rabbit: You're late, You're Late, for a very important date.
Twilight: I'M TARDY!! (teleports away.)
Rabbit: you know when she finds out she's not late she's going to be very angry.
CS: Oh yes.
Rabbit: where do you think she teleported to?
CS: Depends, if she used a teleportation spell to take her to Celestia then she appeared in the middle of the Royal Day court, and by the time she stops apologizing she would have made a total fool of her self in front of the nobles.
Rabbit: and if not there?
CS: then she would have teleported to the royal conference room.
Rabbit: that doesn't sound to bad.
CS: where they're holding a meeting for adult entertainment distribution, the royal sisters don't really attend those, image and all.
Rabbit: looks at CS for a few moments his fur around his face now a slight shade of pink.) Please put me back in the pocket I don't want to be around when she returns. (gets put back into the pocket.)
6002724 *pets rabbit* I know your song by heart.
"Wrestling" right~.
6002739
White Rabbit: you do?
and all this time I thought everyone had forgotten the song.
6003922 oh, that white rabbit... lol. I was thinking of another one.
6004304
White Rabbit: another Rabbit, just how many White Rabbits do you know. (hugs large pocket watch and sobs slightly, as Angle Bunny hopes up and pats him on the back, then shoots SweetyBelleluvsu an angry glare.)
CS: see this is why I only stick with one white rabbit, they have their own little bunny mob that also has a coalition with the White Hares. It's all really technical and confusing but it's in the Rabbit proclamation of 1865 signed by Sir Charles Lutwidge Dodgson.
SweetyBelleluvsu: oh that can't be true. (hears the sound of beating drums and turns to see a field of white Rabbits and Hares) All this because of a simple miss understanding.
CS: Ah yes many conflicts have started for the same reason. (waves his hand and an apple appears, just before he takes a bite.) You really should run.
SweetyBelleluvsu: Can't you just do something?
CS: sure I can, you want me to do something?
SweetyBelleluvsu: YES!
CS: Alright, the rabbits are coming hooray, hooray, the rabbits are coming hooray, hooray. (the Rabbits and hares charge with Angle bunny leading the attack.)
6005238 I was thinking of the rabbit from Alice in wonderland because you I said that she was late for a very important date
6005745
CS: oh so this is a misunderstanding, because the song is about Alice in Wonderland, so see she was talking about you.
White Rabbit: she was
CS: yeah so no harm no fowl. (looks at Sweetbelleluvsu, then slightly up.) Angel stop hopping on her head.
6005897 ANGELS ON MY HEAD?! *pulls out shoot gun* DEATH TO THE BUNNY!!!
6005907
CS: Angel runs and hides behind CS and then starts to cry.) Oh dear.
SweetBelleluvsu: Step aside, today the bunny dies.
CS: yeah no. (points to Fluttershy who didn't look very happy.)
Fluttershy:
HOW DARE YOU SHOOT ARE MY ANGEL!! 
6005988 fluttershy, you might want to close your eyes
6005993
Fluttershy: turn into Flutter-Hulk.)
YOU THINK IT'S ALRIGHT TO PICK ON POOR DEFENSELESS ANIMALS!!! 
6006032 DON'T YOU DARE TURN FLUTTER-HULK ON ME! YOU NEED TO HEAR THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT ANGEL IS DOING! ANGEL ABUSE YOU! WHY YOU STILL LIKE HIM IF HE ABUSE YOU?! HE USE YOU TO GET EVERYTHING HE WANT! FLUTTERSHY LISTEN, YOU TREATING HIM LIKE YOU DO IS TURNING HIM INTO A BRAT! YOU'RE GIVING HIM TO MUCH KINDNESS
6006203
but he's my little angel 
Fluttershy:
CS: oh-no. (Snaps fingers and an elevator appears around him.) Yeah you tell me how this goes. (hits the down button and goes into the ground, and then it started first as a minor rumble before turning into a full blow earth quake only to stop and creatures of all shapes and sizes stop just behind SweetyBelleluvsu, first they look at the crying Fluttershy then glare at the one who made her cry.)
6007848 YOU KEEP OUT OF THIS! *uses magic to create a bubble around Fluttershy and me that can only be destroyed by me*
6009407
Discord: appears behind SweetyBelleluvsu with his arms crossed and tapping his cloven hoof.) You didn't really think it would be that easy did you? (Walks over and picks up Fluttershy and let's her cry on his shoulder.)
CS: appears out of thin air holding a kettle of tea.) Hey would anypony like. (Sees Discord holding Fluttershy and glaring at Sweetybelleluvsu.) Yeah I'm just going to go back to my little pocket dimension. (walks back into thin air)
Discord: Dear sweet Fluttershy what has this mean pony done to make you cry? (Fluttershy whispers into Discord ear and once she finished Discord gave SweetyBelleluvsu a look of the fires of Tartarus.
SweetyBelleluvsu: looks at the two flaming orbs that made up Discord's eyes) That's really has to hurt.
Discord: Like you wouldn't believe.
6009848 um... bye?...
6009862
SweetyBelleluvsu: runs form the now angry lord of chaos, only to have Cs appear floating next to her) this is your fault! So do something!
CS: Like what?
SweetyBelleluvsu: SOMETHING TO HELP ME!
CS: Oh alright. (hands SweetyBelleluvsu a bottle of clear eyes.) here you go.
SB: How is this supposed to help?
CS: Well it'll cut down on the flames in Discord's eyes.
SB: I MEANT HELP ME!"
CS: oh... yeah you're on your own right now.
SB: WHAT!
CS: Well you do realize he's just toying with you right now. You're like a mouse and he's a cat, your best bet would me the CMC.
SB: how are they supposed to help?
CS: well maybe you can ask them very nicely to talk to Discord they are the only other 3 ponies I recall that have truly touched his heart. (vanishes from sight.)
6010129 YOU KEEP YOUR FILTHY PAW HOOF THINGYS OFF MY MOM!
SB: Uh, Emerald, what are you doing?...
EI: Be quiet mom, while I deal with this jerk! *horn flares up and then there is more aura than discord is tall*
SB: Crap... If you will excuse me, I am going to get out of the line of fire. You don't know what happens when Emerald gets angry... *runs to specific point and then creates the bubble around self*
EI: *growls* keep... your filth... appendages... of... my... mom... Capiche?
6010134
Discord: Or what. (Emerald unleashes a blast like a photon beam cannon at Discord only to have him dodge it.) well that was just rude. (Beam keeps going until it's stopped and the energy is compacted into a small space the size of a gumball.)
CS: As much as I would love to answer the question about what would happen if I continue to let this keep going I believe I'll have to stop this before there is to much wide spread destruction. (As Luna and Celestia land behind Shard he pops the gumball of power into his mouth and smiles.) OOOO it taste like Lemon.
Celestia/Luna: SHAAAAAAAAAAARD!
CS: oh come on it really did, besides is those two causing the trouble, well really more like an argument.
Celestia: please explain.
CS: well let see due to a miss understand SB made the white rabbit cry, when we cleared that up I had to tell Angel to stop hopping on her head, she then insisted on playing Elmer Fudd, which made Fluttershy angry, which made her angry, which got Fluttershy to Flutter Hulk, then SB made Flutter Hulk cry, which turned her back to Fluttershy, when her animal friends came to her aid, SB used her barrier magic to stop them from bothering them because she was determined to make Fluttershy listen to reason the Angel Bunny is really a little brat, but Discord showed up because Fluttershy cried, chase ensued and that's when Emerald arrived and tried to blast Discord, missed, I stopped the blast condensed it down to the size of a gumball that tasted like lemons. Is that about is? (looks to SB)
Celestia: looks to Luna then back at CS) We actually came here because Twilight arrived in the throne room during day court apologizing for being so terribly late for an appointment that wasn't real. (CS scratchs the back of his head and smiles sheepishly.)
CS: Oh well at least she arrive in the throne room.
Luna: after she teleported into the conference room. (CS looked at Luna for a few moments then fell on the ground laughing.) Twas not funny, she explain about the mistake before we could stop her and completely humiliated herself in front of the day court.
CS: Oh (*snicker*) I'm sorry, I'm sorry your right it isn't funny. (tries not to laugh.)
Celestia: and since you are one of the only other tricksters we know in Equestria we figured you had something to do with it. (CS nodded) So we can assume that you tricked Princess Twilight? (CS nods again.)
Luna: In that case, you are grounded for your trickery for one month.
CS: Get's up with a smile on his face.) I understand. So confined to my room?
Luna: oh no, you will be serving your time by helping young Twilight.
CS: what?
Luna: you heard us, you are going to be Twilight's assistant for one month, and if you don't do a good job you will continue to help her until she says you have.
CS: Fine, but don't I get some consideration for stopping that beam of destruction?
Celestia: oh you do, that's why it's only a month, that and you'll also have some help, as in Discord, Emerald, and SB are going to be helping you help Twilight.
CS: looks at the trio and then at Celestia.) yeah 4 beings of great power trapped inside on castle, oh what ever could go wrong with this.
(one day later)
CS: watches twilight run away from vampire books, while SB shields her daughter from chocolate rain clouds and Emerald shoots at anaconda tapestries, and Discord tap dancing upside down on the chandelier.) Well that was longer then I thought.
Twilight: HELP!
6010538 great story! tell it again!
Emerald!
And what's an anaconda-
Just shut up Emerald...
6010548
CS: Oh can I tell her.
SB: don't you dare.
CS: but she wants to know, are you saying you're going to deny your foals quest for knowledge?
Emerald: yeah mom are you
CS: I promise only to tell her the bare minimum about the creature.
6010668 *glares at hard and uses magic to put pressure on throat* Don't you DARE mention that... song. Am I clear?
6010672
CS: laughs at the tickle around his throat) Oh I see the confusion here, you think I'm talking about that music video where those hairless, (*EEEEEP!!! EEEEEEEP!!! EEEEEEP!!!*)
SB: what was that?
CS: oh that's my might offend alarm, see since we're not of a species known as human.
SB: you're not human?
CS: Kitsune (reaches behind him and shows fox like tail) As I was saying since we aren't human then the closet thing I could compare them to are hairless Apes.
SB: as do most fimfiction writers.
CS: Yes well seeing that that video is mostly made up of a certain ethnic group and a term that is very hurtful to them is referring to them as a lesser life form I can't make that kind of statement so let me try this again. You think I'm talking about that music video where it's pretty clear what they're referencing while dancing around and shaking their rears a lot, When in truth I'm talking about this. (Snaps fingers and a giant snake appears.) well that's a bit large, let's go with more compact size. (Snaps fingers and the snake shrinks down to the length of his hand, then kneels down to Emerald.) Alright little one, this is an Anaconda, it's a type of snake, well really it's many types of snakes but most the time when somepony mentions Anaconda they're talking about this little guy, a green Anaconda. Which is rumored to grow so large that some times ponies will mistake them for fallen trees, like what he was before I shrunk him. (Emerald reaches up with her right hoof and the small snake slithers onto it and wraps around her leg.
Emerald: It's squeezing my leg.
CS: well that's one of it's way it hunts, it normally squeezes the life out of what ever it's hunting and then consumes it howl, but this little guy (reachs over and removes the snake with no trouble.) is really no threat right now, it's the bigger ones you have to watch out for.
Emerald: really, where do they live?
CS: mostly tropical location, and they have been known to hunt from trees.
Emerald: they sound scary
CS: Well only if their hungry, if not then they pretty much leave you alone if you leave them alone.
Emerald: what's the biggest one you've seen?
CS: well it wasn't in this dimension, but I've seen one so long it wrapped around a mountain the size of the one Canterlot resides.
Emerald: Really?
CS: Yep, the locals called it snake mountain, mostly because of the big guy, it's mouth was so big you could drive the friendship express into it and still have a pony standing on top. (Emerald hugs her mothers legs.)
Emerald: Mommy.
CS: Sees the glare SB is giving him.) Let me finish SB before you try and tickle me to death with your magic.
SB: Tickle you?
CS: I'm a Kitsune, trust me when I get my next tail Celestia might have trouble keeping me from kicking noble flank around for some of the wrong I've seen them do, first two on my list Jet Set, and Upper Crust. Those two make one more crack about being better then what they call common pony and I'm throwing them into the Queen Dragon's Treasure hoard. (turns to Emerald) Now then do you remember what I said about the big snakes?
Emerald: if their not hungry, and I leave them alone they're O.K.
CS: Correct, now this big guy well he had gotten to big, and he was hungry all the time, so a Sorceress had to turn it into stone, or it would just keep eating never being able to get full and then die of starvation.
Emerald: So he's not a threat?
CS: Only if it's original master ever wakes up, they called him Lord Hiss, I called him an annoyance. Now I can safely say that with the amount of power you unleashed by that blast you tried to give Discord, and the amount of power you mom has, even if scales woke up, and then some how got transported here you two could easily handle his reptilian hide. (stands up and smiles at Emerald.) Now then (snaps fingers and everything goes back to normal.)
Discord: HEY!
CS: you want me to tell Fluttershy you've been a bad friend?
Discord: No
CS: Good then how about you help Emerald try and calm down Twilight.
Discord: Fine, but can I ask for just one little thing?
6011115 *death glare* this poor filly is going to have a hard time sleeping tonight...
Snakes... *twig snaps* HIHOKUNGFUKONISHIWA!
Emerald... that was a squirrel...
6011139
CS: Discord (looks at Discord with a broke twig smiling at him) I thought I told you to help calm down Twilight
Discord: I will but can I ask for one thing first?
6011242 go ahead discord... make it quick!
6011256
Discord: well
CS: looks at SB) You knew that was coming. (SB didn't look very amused as she glared at Discord and Emerald who were currently laughing at the two water logged individuals.)
Oh my gosh, Vinyl playing the accordion, I almost died laughing!
Xiraia: Didn't you think he meant...
Ruin: Yes, but that's not the point... also why are you sneaking into my comments?
Xiraia: Hey, you're the one who stuck me in New Maregny to run NCR Radio, I get bored sometimes.
Ruin: Sorry, we're experiencing technical difficulties, good fanfic so far.